PALEXY ONESHOT. PAIGE POV.
Reflecting on the beginning of her friendship and relationship with Alex, showing the thought going through her head at the time. Takes place around middle to end of Season 5.
My first legitimate fanfic, please be gentle. I've read fics on here for a long time and just got the courage up to post my own.
I own nothing. I promise. Because if I did, LIAB would never have happened and Palex would have lived happily ever after. :)
It all started with Alex.
I've known her since Grade 9, but in reality, I didn't really know her. We went to the same school, but we might as well have been from two different worlds. She ran with the bad kids, kids like Jay. They raced cars, stole things, cut class, hung out in the Ravine. I was captain of the Spirit Squad. I was best friends with Hazel, I lived off of fashion and gossip, I wore something pink every day. Plain and simple: I was the Queen Bee, she was the Badass. But she was way more than the 'bad girl' that we all saw. But I didn't know that. We spent four years hating each other. And yes, hate is a strong word, but it was hardly an overstatement.
"I can't just go in there and talk to her. Alex hates me, I hate Alex."
In Grade 11 we ended up working together, much to my chagrin. I'd rather have brought back my HOTTIE shirt from Grade 8, rather have spent the rest of my life shopping with Heather Sinclaire. But I had no choice, I needed money for Spinner's car. And I needed it fast.
"Stir the popcorn and don't talk to me."
All those days working together must have melted our icy exteriors, because we became sort of friends. Alex liked to tease me for dating Spinner, whom she liked to call "The Furby." Then there was the TA, Matt. I never told her about Dean, but I'm sure she got snippets of the story, Degrassi in general is well known for it's inability to keep a secret. She'd always snap her gum, hoop earrings swinging, and tell me that none of the boys I dated were good enough for me, I deserved better than those jerks. I guess maybe that whole time I knew she was right.
"If my boyfriend showed up here and treated me that way, I'd be shopping for a new boyfriend."
Of course I never listened, and I would inevitably come to work upset over the last guy. I'd come in moody, quiet, and usually without saying hello. She'd look at me and shake her head, cracking jokes in an effort to console me. It was her way of showing that she cared. Somehow she could always tell. I always kinda thought it hurt her to see me upset, her whole rough attitude would change completely, she'd soften up whenever I was upset. Even if I never listened to her boy advice, it was nice to know that she cared, even a little bit. My other friends just figured I'd bounce on to the next guy. I liked feeling like I was more than that to her.
"It's okay to be single for twenty minutes."
And I cared about Alex, too. I wanted her to have a future, to graduate and get out of this town. I wanted better for her than that Godforsaken movie theater or becoming some white-trash housewife with a drunken, scummy husband like Jay. I know she didn't think that she deserved it or that she could make it, but I knew she could, I believed in her. I figured, you don't get the 'Badass' label without some kind of fight, work ethic, and motivation. But her life was hard, I knew that too, and getting out of this town might be more than she was capable of.
"Paige, I don't have a future okay? I don't even know where I'm sleeping tonight."
That night at the premiere changed my life. I'm not sure when things started to mean more. Maybe it was the dancing, maybe it was seeing Alex get thrown over the end table of her house. I was so used to her being the toughest person I knew. It was hard to see her thrown around like a rag doll. It showed me a different side of her, she was vulnerable, too. I took her back to my house and we sat on my bed. Icing her arm and listening to her ragged breathing, I couldn't believe she thought she deserved to be treated like that. And then I looked into her eyes and I knew there was no place else I wanted to be than here with her. And then she kissed me. And I liked it.
"It's a different kind of trouble."
I was scared. I didn't want to like it. But I couldn't deny that I did. I wanted to run away, so I did. What if everyone found out that I kissed a girl? My reputation would be destroyed. Was Alex worth that? Was I willing to hurt her in order to protect my ego? I didn't know. All I knew was that I couldn't be in love with her. I couldn't like that kiss. I couldn't want it to happen again. Cheerleaders do not like girls like Alex. Wait, scratch that. Cheerleaders do not like GIRLS.
"It was totally stupid, it meant nothing, she means nothing."
What I didn't know was how much I was hurting her by acting like this. And the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. I saw in Alex was someone I could be comfortable around, someone who made me feel like I was better, like I was worth something as a person. Everything led back to her, somehow. No matter how I wanted to respond to that kiss, my life wasn't going to be the same. I still wanted Alex to have a future, but now I wanted it to include me. As confused as I was, I had realized I truly wanted to be a part of her life. So I let go and gave myself to her.
"I said you were nothing to me. Which is a total lie because right now, you're pretty much everything."