Mr. Gordo Meets the Green One
DATE: 10/19/02
SUMMARY: Some prophesies are a bit more vague than we realize.
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Lessons
It's not that I don't enjoy it when Yellow takes me on an adventure. Gosh, no. I just wish I knew where we were going. I've been in that dark, smelly world on wheels for so long that I can't remember if it is supposed to be the Sun Time or the Moon Time. And what is even worse, Yellow hasn't cuddled me once since he put me in the black skin and left my large world with walls. He just sits there, rubbing the round wheel. Sometimes he says words that I do not understand. What do "Blud Ee", and "Sod Ing" mean?
I look around the world on wheels. When Girl takes me into a world on wheels, there are shiny see-throughs. Yellow does not have those. They are all black. Sigh Too bad. I like to look at the many sights out there in the world without walls.
I try to pass the time by counting the number of times Yellow wrinkles his eyebrow and says a strange word. I'm up to 34 now. Weee!
****************
Ah, finally. Yellow has stopped moving the big wheel. He opens the door and I can see it is the Moon Time. I am not surprised. Yellow does not go out during any other time. I think maybe he is afraid of that big ball of yellow in the sky. I try to tell him it is just the sun and will not fall on him, but he does not hear me. The Big Ones never hear me. Sigh, oink
He grabs my hoof and drags me out into the world without walls. Ah. It smells much better out here. And there are so many lights! It looks like Kris Mass when Girl and Brown Fur put lights on a dead tree. The lights are all around me. And the Big Ones! Wow. So many. They push and shove at each other. They should take lessons from a Stuffed Animal. We are very polite to each other.
"Why are we here, Yellow? Are you going to get Presents? Big Ones always do at Kris Mass."
He holds me tight. That is good. I do not want to get lost in all these Big Ones. I would never find my way back to Girl.
"Yellow? Can we go back in the world with wheels? I do not like this place."
But he does not stop to talk. Darn. He just keeps walking and looking up at the lights.
We pass a Big One who laughs and makes funny piggy sounds at us. "Oink, oink. Suey!" Hee, hee. He thinks he is a pig. But I am the only pig here in the World of Lights, silly.
I look around as best as I can, but do not see any more Stuffed Animals. I am all alone here with Yellow. "Don't let go, Yellow!"
But he has found what he was looking for. The sign of lights says "Love Lorne". Love Lorne? Is Yellow lonely? I shrug my shoulders…or what little I have to call shoulders.
Yellow takes us in.
The first thing I hear is singing, but I cannot see who is singing. There are even more Big Ones in here than outside.
"Hey, you. Down in front!"
Yellow looks at the loud, ugly Big One, but then keeps moving. Oh good. I did not want a fight.
We go through a black door, and all the Big Ones are left behind. It is quieter and darker here. Oh boy! "Is it nap time, Yellow? I could use a good cuddle about now." But he doesn't answer again. Someone needs to clean his ears out.
He seems to be looking for something. He stops at the edge of a dark curtain. There is a Green Skinned One over there, by himself, singing. I like his voice. Oh, look! He has little horns on his head. I wonder why. He reminds me of an SA I saw in Brown Fur's world last week. "Hello, Green One!" I smile my biggest piggy smile and wave with my free arm. Green One looks at me for a second and interrupts his singing for even less than that. He looks confused.
While we wait, Yellow paces around the dark world. I'm up to 52. Weeee!
I hear the Green One has stopped singing, and a roar comes from out there. Why are the Big Ones roaring at him? Did he do something wrong? I don't think Yellow hears it. He hasn't turned around to look. He still paces.
"So, who's your little, pink date, short, pale and sexy?"
Ah. Now he turns around. The Green One is wearing some bright skin with shiny objects on it. He looks funny, and I giggle.
Yellow
and Green Skin just stare at each other. Green looks us up and down, while
Yellow stares at his red eyes. Has the Green One been crying? I know Girl's eyes
are that color when she leaks water.
"So, you're the infamous Spike?"
When the Big Ones do introductions, they can be so very boring. I look over at
the other Big Ones that just walked over by us. They have horns and are green
too. But their skins are much shorter. My, they look chilly. I've seen Girl wear
a skin like that before, but only that once when Yellow came into our world with
walls. He smiled that day and licked his teeth. He's such a funny Yellow One!
Some of the soft Big Ones smile at Yellow, but mostly they smile at me. I am a
very cute piggy, if I do say so myself. I wonder why Girl does not take me out
more often. One of the Soft Ones is getting close to Yellow and smiling even
bigger. "So, is that a pig in your pocket, or you just happy to see
me?"
I'm not in his pocket. And we don't even know her. Humph. "Yellow? Is it
nap time yet?"
Yellow and Green stop talking and look down at me.
"What was that?"
"Oh, yes. This is the reason I came to see you." Yellow raises me to
Green's eyes.
"Hi, Green One! I'm Mr. Gordo. Nice to meet you. Any friend of Yellow's is
a friend of mine."
Green looks at me funny. "Well, well. The piggy talks."
Yellow nods his head and says, "So, you can hear him? It's not me? I'm not
crazy?"
"Well, I wouldn't go that far. But, yeah, I hear the pig."
"Hey, now. I have a name, and I'm sitting right here. Okay, hanging right
here, but still…"
"Oh, I'm sorry, little fella. My name is Lorne. It's nice to meet you, Mr.
Gordo." The Green One shakes my hoof. That was sweet. He looks back at
Yellow. "So, now that we've deduced that you are not hallucinating, is
there anything else I can do for you? I have another show in 2 hours." He
points back to where we first saw him.
"Here's the thing." Yellow drops me back down to his side and makes
the world all sideways and upside-down again. It makes me so dizzy when he does
that…like one of those Roller Koe Sters I hear about. Brown Fur really likes
those. "The short version." Yellow takes a deep breath. "I went
off to get myself a soul, and found…"
"Wai, wai, wait a minute there, my little bleached blond, walking
orgasm…"
"Excuse me!?"
"You have a soul?"
"Well, yeah. You couldn't tell? I thought you were the seer here."
"Well, futures, yeah. Souls, not so much." Green is looking a bit
greener, if that is possible. "So, Angel is…"
"Not the only. Yes, I get that. Although, it wouldn't have hurt for him to
warn me about the…"
SA's don't get all caught up in souls and such nonsense. I mean, think about it.
We're all soft and cuddly. We like to hug. We like to keep our Girls and Boys
warm. That's all there is to worry about when you're an SA. Well, that and
kitties chewing on your ears, but I don't want to think about that right now.
For now, I'm on Vay Ka Shun with my Yellow One.
"And you did it all for a girl."
"Oh, not just `A' girl. `The' girl."
Green takes a deep breath and sighs. Then his eyes roll up and then down again
"Alright. Go ahead. Sing."
"Sing?"
"Sing. You know. With the notes and the words." They look at each
other.
"Yeah. I like it when you sing, Yellow. You're always so loud and…loud.
Sing for us!"
Yellow doesn't sing, so Green starts to talk again. "Don't tell me they
never told you." Yellow just shakes his head a little. "You have to
sing. For me to get a reading, you have to sing. Now, I'm not saying you have to
be Pavarotti, but…"
"I. Am. Not. Going. To. Bloody. Sing."
"61!"
They both look at me, then look back at each other. They don't listen very well.
"Okay. If you aren't going to sing, Yellow, I will." I clear my
throat, then do my best version of the only song I know.
"Mary had a little lamb. Little lamb. Little lamb. Mary had a little lamb
whose fleece was white as snow…"
They are staring at me all funny again. "What?! It's not that `sedated'
song you sing, but it's still a nice story, don't you think? I mean, that little
lamb is just like us SA's. She goes everywhere with her Girl, Mary. They even go
to Skool together. That's nice, don't you think?"
Green's eyes are leaking now. See? I told you! "What's wrong, Green Skin?
Is my singing that bad? Didn't you like the story about the lamb? Would you
prefer one about a dinosaur, or an alligator?"
"You…you're…" Okay. Now he's sounding like Quiet One.
"Well, spit it out ya big lizard!"
"He's…he's the one pure soul in all the world."
Soul? I have a soul? Why didn't someone tell me? I could have given mine to
Yellow and saved him a whole heap of trouble.
"The pig. Has a soul?"
"Don't you see? The whole prophesy…the whole Shan-shu prophesy. It's not
about Angel, the vampire with a soul…"
Yellows eyes get really wide and he gets all upset. "Oh, no! No, no, no. I
am not taking his place in these prophesies. He can be the one in all the world.
I just wanted to be someone worthy of Buffy's lo…"
"Wait a minute there, Spikey boy. First off, I'm not talking about you
being the subject of the Shan-shu prophesy. And secondly, Buffy?! The girl
you're in love with is Buffy?!"
Yellow looks down at the floor. Is there something down there, Yellow? I look
too, but don't see anything but floor.
"I can't believe this! Angel's gonna…"
"No, mate. Angel's not gonna do anything, `cuz you won't be tellin' Angel,
will you?"
I don't think Green wants to argue with that. Besides, you can't talk to angels.
Everyone knows that. I start to laugh, and I snort accidentally. "Oink,
snort!"
"Yes, well, the pi…Mr. Gordo. He's the one in the prophesy, you see. He's
the one to fight in the End of Days and emerge human. The one and only inanimate
being, animated by a soul. It was never a vampire. It was piece of fluff all
along."
The End?
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