Flawed Ripples
A/Ns: ...I'm not sure where the abusive!NaruSasu came from, but it just... turned out that way. Nothing but vague mentions, though, so don't worry if that sort of thing makes you squeamish. Anyway, I started this intending just a drabble about Naruto and Sasuke's relationship, and then it turned into lots of other people's thoughts on the same, so... Yeah. I had fun writing it, but it's not exactly the best I've ever written... Meh. Enjoy if you can.
Disclaimer: Damn you, Kishimoto.
Sakura wouldn't speak to Naruto for months after she found out about his relationship with Sasuke. She worked herself too hard at the hospital and hardly payed attention to her other friends - especially when she found out that many of them had already known that her best friend and lifelong crush were getting it on - and eventually had a nervous breakdown. Afterwards, she spent three weeks staying with Ino to recuperate. (She found some interesting new gossip in the way Shikamaru and Chouji seemed to be around rather a lot, and often to very odd hours - she never asked Ino about the times she went downstairs at three in the morning for a drink and found their shoes still there, and a faint glow of light under Ino's bedroom door, accompanied by the soft sound of more than one person breathing.) Eventually, Naruto and Sasuke came over (the latter not looking very excited at the prospect) and Naruto apologised sincerely to her. Although she got the feeling that while he really was sorry for upsetting her, he was in no way remorseful for gaining Sasuke's love before she could. When Naruto went to chat to Ino in the kitchen over the makings of lunch, Sasuke looked at Sakura for the first time since they had arrived and said coolly and quietly that she had never had a chance. 'Naruto loved you for years,' he reminded her, making her flinch a little guiltily, 'and never once did you look past me to see that he is a far better man than I can ever hope to be.' Although it still hurt, she found eventually that she couldn't find it in herself to be angry any longer; later she realised that she had stopped being able to the moment Sasuke had said those words, and she had seen in his eyes just how deeply he in love with Naruto he really is.
Sasuke never added the words he wanted to say to the end of his dismissal of Sakura, but he thinks them often: 'He is a far better man than I can ever hope to deserve'.
Neji dislikes the last Uchiha with a fiery passion - a passion almost as fiery, coincidentally, as the one he feels for Sasuke's blond lover. But he isn't stupid enough to try and push them apart. He's jealous, yes - extremely so - and he believes that Sasuke will never be worthy of Naruto - a view which, ironically, Sasuke privately shares - but he would never do something so hurtful to the man he loves. Even if it means standing by and smiling in silence while Naruto and Sasuke bicker trivially and then kiss like they would die without the other. For all he knows, it could be true.
Gaara is a hard man to read. Harder even than Sasuke or Neji. He's known Naruto for the shortest time out of the three - but not by much. And he's been in love with the man for longer than anyone, apart from the steadfast Hinata. His view isn't quite as tragic as Neji's, and he would feel no guilt in coming between Naruto and Sasuke, but he doesn't try. His reason is simple: he knows, irrevocably, that nothing he could do would ever really part them.
Hinata has always known in her heart that Naruto could never feel for her what she feels for him. It hurts; hurts indescribably, like a sword constantly stabbing into her chest. But she has learned to smile anyway. She's stronger than she used to be, and it makes her happy in a small way to know that the person to thank for that improvement will always be Naruto. Whether he knows it or not, he has always been the most influential person in her life, and he will remain the firmest pillar for her to fall back on. He has never once stopped supporting her; at least, since he noticed her existence. Hinata was the first to see him - really see him, the kind, brave boy and then man who he has been forever - and the first to love him with everything she's ever had. And painfully, she was the first to know about his relationship with Sasuke - or at least its ascension to the new level that it has stayed comfortably at for several years now. He never told her personally, and she never caught them in the act. She just looked at his smile, the tiniest bit brighter than it had been yesterday, if that were possible, and understood. She knows that nobody but Sasuke could ever give Naruto that smile, that life that glows from him now. So she forgives him from taking her chance from her. After all, in her heart of hearts, she has always known. She isn't over him; maybe never will be. But she hopes that she might fall for someone else one day, who can love her in return.
Kiba doesn't get it. But he doesn't try. At first he was a little shocked to find that Naruto had turned out gay, but after getting into a friendly fight with him and acquiring a nice black eye for his observation, he is now thoroughly understanding of the term 'bisexual', and has learned in what circumstances and to whom it is applied. More quietly, to himself and maybe Shino, if he's really drunk, he can't help but be jealous of Naruto. After all, Naruto has always received the affections of the one Kiba is in love with. And even if Kiba could ever find himself a big enough man to forgive him that, he could never really forgive the fact that Naruto hasn't noticed.
Jiraiya doesn't get it either. Especially when Tsunade pointed out that Naruto and Sasuke's relationship when they were younger was very similar to the one that he and Orochimaru shared. He violently refuted that opinion, and Tsunade never told him the way his dark haired friend had looked at him back then, before he walked away and ended up in prison facing all sorts of horrible charges. But as he's always said - 'whatever floats your boat, kiddo'. While he knows that he will never really understand, he doesn't mind it. He's always liked Naruto, and he's always hated Sasuke, for reasons that he can't quite place. But really, if the broody brat makes Naruto happy, as he seems to, well, good look to them.
Iruka understands rather more than he wants to. But that doesn't mean he has to like it. He believes vehemently that Sasuke is bad for Naruto, even if he has learned not to say it. The only time Naruto has ever really been angry with him is when Iruka voiced the opinion. The argument that ensued escalated swiftly and unpleasantly, and Naruto refused to speak to him for several weeks, waiting for him to take back his claim. When he finally admitted defeat and obliged, Naruto returned to acting entirely normal, but Iruka knows that there will always be, at least for him, a slight stain on their relationship. He loves Naruto like a son, and wants nothing more than his happiness, but he can't shake the feeling that Sasuke isn't quite... good. But despite all that, he's learned to accept the dark haired man's apparently stable position as the Naruto's most precious person - friend and lover. And when he's being really honest with himself, he admits sadly that even if he ever turned out to be right, it isn't his choice to make.
Naruto doesn't really care about anyone else's opinion. While he's glad that everyone has been so accepting, all that really matters is that he loves Sasuke, and as far as he knows, Sasuke loves him too. It sometimes bothers him how little Sasuke actually says it, but he knows that in the end, it's Sasuke's actions that tell him more of how much he means to him.
They never talk about the arguments. Of course they never mention it to anybody else, but it's not like they have to. The pitch of their infuriated yells, and the bruises and broken dishes that remain, the way they both limp a little afterwards, because you can't be gentle when you're angry. Everyone knows already. But nobody else mentions it either. Even if it were their business, it doesn't need to be said.
Naruto always remembers to bring home at least one block of rich dark chocolate when he goes shopping. That's never mentioned either. It's always gone by the time he gets out of bed in the morning, and Sasuke's mouth tastes of bitter cocoa. He kisses him all the more, just for the odd novelty of it, and for the half smile that's sometimes cast his way.
After midnight when Naruto wakes up feeling cold and alone, he doesn't worry about it; he just gets up and goes to find Sasuke sitting in the dark at the kitchen table, staring out of the window at the night sky. He's learned not to say anything, because with Sasuke it's really the silences that say more than the words, and just leads his boyfriend back to bed by the hand. But he lies awake thinking about it long after Sasuke has fallen back to sleep in his arms.
Naruto's habit of coming late to work diminished considerably after he and Sasuke got together. Contrary to his boss's assumptions, it wasn't because Sasuke taught him some punctuality. Naruto has always woken up early, but before Sasuke moved in with him, he used to lie in bed stubbornly, trying to fall asleep again until he suddenly remembered he was late. He still wakes up a little after sunrise every day, but now he always gets up to find his lover - the bastard constantly leaves the bed cold, curse him - and kiss the living daylights out of him before Sasuke kicks him out of the house with a snide remark about breadwinners and not buying any more of that damned ramen. If he just so happens to have the foresight to put on his work clothes and grab his briefcase before he goes, well, that's fortunate coincidence, isn't it?
Neither of them is very patient. Sasuke in particular. A few people, like Sai, question their relationship because of it. 'How can two men with such short tempers live together?' he wonders aloud, before Sakura or Ino shuts him up with a punch to the head. But it makes their other friends think sometimes.
Naruto never wonders how they manage it. He knows. He knows that he's the only one who understands Sasuke, and who Sasuke will put up with. He can't quite explain why Sasuke bothers, but he doesn't mind. There are always little mysteries in love.
Sasuke wonders often, and it's one of the many reasons why when Naruto comes back from staying out late drinking with Neji - or Gaara - or Sai - or any of his other friends - he throws punches and other things at his inebriated and perplexed boyfriend with too few words of explanation. He refuses to ask for assurance, and because Naruto doesn't understand how Sasuke could ever doubt the two of them, he forgets to give it. Sasuke hates a lot of people, but hates most the people who Naruto loves. He's so used to there only being enough room in his heart for one person, it never occurs to him that Naruto has enough room for the whole world in there, and never, not ever, would he love Sasuke even a fraction less.
He doesn't understand how Sasuke could be jealous of him spending time with all or any of their friends. (And Sasuke never says it, but silently he always thinks of them as Naruto's friends, not his own.) Sasuke has a temper, and while Naruto certainly doesn't enjoy being punched in the face and having dishes (or in the worst cases, kitchen knives) thrown at him, even if he realised what it was that was bothering his lover, he would never give up his friends for the sake of Sasuke's insecurities. Just like he would never, ever give up Sasuke for the sake of his friends' opinions. And it isn't like he doesn't fight back. Once Sasuke has stopped throwing things, when he can finally come out from hiding behind whatever unfortunate object, wall or door that has been subjected to Sasuke's wrath this time, he happily (or at least grimly) retaliates, with just as much pent up frustration and viciousness as his lover. It always ends in the same way; with one of them pinning the other down and initiating violent, angry sex, which leaves them both somewhat bloody and psychologically unsatisfied. It isn't a nice answer to everything - hell, it isn't really an answer at all - but, well, they're both bad at expressing the fluffier sentiments. It's destructive, and they both know it, but so hard to give up once it's started. And it doesn't make Naruto love Sasuke any less. He knows it's just a way for Sasuke to let him see a fraction of the hurt he feels, for whatever reason it may be at the time. (Sasuke is oddly sensitised; every emotion that he feels becomes somehow magnified, especially the unpleasant ones.) If it comes to it, nothing in the world or out of it could make him love Sasuke any less fully than he does. He sometimes wonders if he should tell Sasuke that, but it's hard. Hard because Sasuke can be so icy cold when he wants to be. Naruto's no coward, and he could never fear Sasuke; not ever. But when Sasuke turns those emotionless black eyes on him, waiting for him to say something, expectant, challenging him: 'go on. Surprise me. Make me show some emotion, something other than anger for once.' Sometimes he can do it, say the words that are on his lips, say how he feels when he sees Sasuke's sleeping face bathed in moonlight, looking so ethereal and ghostly beautiful, the way it stops his breath and his heart and makes him want to cry - how grateful he is to whatever higher power decided to allow him this angel of his, to let him love Sasuke, and have Sasuke love him in return... But more often than not, with that empty silence waiting for him to fill it, while Sasuke pauses with mock patience - 'nothing you say will affect me, but please, carry on, your attempts are pitifully entertaining' - he can't quite get the words out. It's so hard, when Sasuke acts like he doesn't care, like he doesn't really want to know, he's just humouring Naruto by pretending to listen.
They're imperfect. Sasuke and Naruto will both attest to that. They've never claimed otherwise. Sasuke is harsh, and he finds it so hard to express himself. Naruto is used to being brash and open, but with Sasuke's piercing gaze on him, it becomes much more complicated, if only because he loves him so very, painfully much. Sasuke doesn't know if they'll last forever, and is deathly afraid that they might not. Naruto has never even stopped to consider that they could ever fall out of love, and would be furious if anyone suggested it. They're both insecure, but for different reasons. And because neither of them is good with words - Naruto being simply ineloquent, and Sasuke hates talking - they can't really reassure one another that way. But in the end, the kisses that taste of chocolate, and the warm hand that reminds Sasuke that he belongs... It isn't that those things keep them sane, because neither of them is really that. But things like that keep them together, because no one else could give them, or replace what they are to one another.
Their relationship has affected a lot of people, in varying ways and to varying extremities. It isn't really fair, as Kiba says melancholically into his beer mug, but then, that's how life is.
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