AUTHOR'S NOTES! 8D
TITLE: Cotton Candy (& Even Sweeter Dreams)
GENRE: Angst/Romance
PAIRING: Suzaku/Euphemia! *Ironically my ORIGINAL Suzaku OTP. Shocker, huh?*
WARNINGS: Spoilers for episode 23ish? I think that's the number.
GENERAL DISCUSSION: This kinda goes along with my other Code Geass story entitled Good Night, which is a Suzaku/Lelouch piece. They're not sequels of one another, just kinda companion pieces. First person is so weird for me to write, and I hope Suzaku isn't terribly out of character. I cried writing this because I had to rewatch the scene as I did for the dialogue...; n; I MISS YOU, EUPHIE!
She had cotton candy pink hair, and dreams even sweeter than candy. That was my first love, Princess Euphemia Li Brittannia. A girl so pure I wondered how she could ever love somebody as tainted as myself. Somebody who had done so much wrong, somebody who would ultimately let her down. But, god, I'd do anything to make that girl smile, and that's exactly what I did…even as she lay dying.
- - -
"Euphie, I want you to tell me, why did you give that order?" It makes no sense to me how you could have. How could somebody who wanted nothing more than peace and love and happiness snap like that and go against her very nature?
"Order?" you reply, "What do you mean?" The look on your face is more than enough for me to know you're not lying when you say you don't remember.
"Anyways, Suzaku, you're Japanese, aren't you?" Why does it matter, Euphie? You already know the answer! Are you going to try to kill me too? No, I can't think like that! This is Euphie! My Euphie, the same girl who said she loved me! The one who promised she'd love me, me of all people , forever!
I give you the answer you don't need, and for some reason, you're crying! Why are you crying? Why can't I make you stop crying?
"Suzaku, the ceremony…" Please, don't ask about that. Don't make me be the one to tell you…I don't think I can, "What happened to Japan?"
"Don't you remember?" The screams of the people, the cries of hatred! Wishing everybody would just shut up because it's not your fault! It can't be! You're too pure, too innocent, too loving to willingly do anything so heinous! It's his fault, though I can't figure out why he did it! Why would he…make you do that? Were you just a pawn to him? What went though his mind when he pulled that trigger? When he brought my world to screeching halt? Don't you remember, Euphie, being in my arms as I screamed for them to save you?
"Were the Japanese people happy?" you question, "Did I do good?" Don't look at me like that. With that pleading look that makes it impossible for me to tell you the truth.
And I don't. I gather every bit of strength I have to stop myself from shaking and to force a smile to my face, just so I don't have to make you unhappy. I just can't make you unhappy…
"The SAZ," I feel myself shaking, forcing false words from anxious lips, "It was a huge success! They were all so happy with the new Japan!"
"I'm so glad…" That's all I've ever wanted for you, Euphie. Was for you to be happy, because your smile…it lights up my life. I don't know how, but it does. You make me better, just by putting on that smile of yours.
"That's strange…" I don't know what you're talking about. "I can't…see your face." Don't talk like that. Please don't. I feel tears pricking at the backs of my eyes, threatening to fall. I can't do it! I can't cry…
I can feel your hand shaking in mine, or maybe my hands are shaking. I can't tell what's what anymore. All I know is your hand is growing cold, and I don't like that at all…
"Stay in school…I never managed…to finish…" Why is your speech slowing down?! You can't be dying on me! Please, Euphie…
"Euohie, you still can!" I know I'm crying by this point, and I don't even care anymore. Because you're laying there, so close to death I can feel it, and all I can do is hold onto your hand and give us hope of a brighter future…together! "That's right! We can go to Ashford Academy together!" I'd go anywhere with you! "Their student counsel is so nice!" Milly would love you too! I'm sure of it!
I'm crying harder now, cheeks warm with tears and hands shaking around your all too cold one. "Together…" We're supposed to be together…
Stop smiling at me like that…How can you be so accepting of this damned fate? How can you be dying! "Do it … for the both of us…" No. I can't do it alone, Euphie! I don't want to do it without you! "No! Euphie! No!" It's all I can cry, I can't even make full sentences anymore. Everything is happening too fast! I can feel your hand growing more cold, limper in my own shaking pair! Your eyes are losing that glow, turning grayish underneath! The look of…No, I can't even think that! Because you can't die on me. Please, don't…You can't! Don't die on me! I…I love you!
"Suzaku…I'm so glad…" Euphie! Don't close your eyes! Wake up! Make those machines stop beeping! Make me stop crying! Make everything better again! Just smile at me, please! Don't…No, you can't be! Euphie!
- - -
She had cotton candy pink hair, and her dreams were as sweet as candy, my first love. My Euphie. I'll never know how she managed to love somebody as tainted as me, but she did. And I'll always love her. I did everything I could to make her smile, and I guess you could say she died happy…
Sweet dreams, my lady.
EDIT: o.O;; Re-betaed about five minutes after I posted it. XD