TITLE: Something Beautiful
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T own Big Time Rush.
NOTES: I was inspired to write this one-shot after hearing the song "Is it Okay if I Call You Mine?" by Paul McCrane. You should give it a listen.
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Kendall couldn't sleep that night because of all his thoughts. He usually loves watching a nice movie, listening to an Indie love song, reading a nice book,
or anything that he could describe as "beautiful". But lately, he feels more distracted than usual. The more he thinks about his "situation", the more sick he feels, like he's been kicked in the stomach a few times. No, he's not that selfish. His desires are out of the question and he wouldn't potentially let himself ruin everything that he and his friends have worked so hard for... Besides, Kendall doesn't even think things would work anyway. "I'm not that special", he muttered to himself.
It's 2:00 AM and he's the only one awake...or so he thought.
When Kendall is troubled, the only outlet he knows is either music or hockey. Playing hockey at two in the morning isn't the best idea, and neither is jamming, but the guitar is less hazardous and he could control the noise better, so he grabbed his guitar and decided to head to the pool. But when he stepped out of the building, he noticed that the lights were out in the pool area. Then he remembered that Buddha Bob had to take a leave due to a recurring headache that he's been suffering from being hit twice by Mrs. Knight with a frying pan.
So it was just Kendall, cross-legged by the edge of the pool with his guitar, being bathed by the full moon. The wind was gently blowing, making the palm trees dance and creating swishy noises that gave him goosebumps. As he looked up at the moon, he took a deep breath of the cold air and closed his eyes. Kendall eventually put himself in a trance and shut out his senses. At peace in his own little world with his guitar, he strummed quietly and began singing...
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Is it okay if I call you mine?
Just for a time,
And I will be just fine.
If I know that you know that I'm
Wanting , needing your love.
If I ask of you, is it all right?
If I ask you to hold me tight
Through a cold, dark night?
'Cause there may be a cloudy day in sight,
And I need to let you know that I might
Be needing your love.
And what I'm trying to say isn't really new,
It's just the things that happen to me
When I'm reminded of you.
Like when I hear your name,
Or see a place that you've been,
Or see a picture of your grin,
Or pass a house that you've been in,
At one time or another.
It sets off something in me I can't explain,
And I can't wait to see you again.
Oh, babe, I love your love.
And what I'm trying to say isn't really new,
It's just the things that happen to me
When I'm reminded of you
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As he sang the last words of the song, he put his guitar down beside him.
He took another deep breath, finally opening his eyes and gazed up at the beauty above him. His senses are now starting to come back as he shivered at the sound of the palm trees and felt the chill of the wind tossing his dirty-blond hair, sweeping his face. Kendall realized how lonesome he really is. He feels lost, frustrated, helpless. Afraid. "This night is too beautiful to feel this way", he thought. But this night won't last forever, and eventually his own peaceful little world will be taken away, and he'll be face-to-face with his "problem" again, just like almost everyday since he was a child. His situation gets worse every day, and for years, Kendall did nothing but keep it dormant inside of him, like a time bomb ready to explode at the right cues.
The full moon, the palm trees, the sweet, Autumn air, the song... those were his cues.
For the first time in a while, Kendall felt his eyes welling up, still staring at the moon with his bright, green eyes. He wanted to resist and just forget about what he feels, or what he thinks he feels, but the moon triumphed over him. In no time, Kendall Knight gave in and sobbed uncontrollably that he's almost gasping for air. His chest tightened and felt his whole body going limp. With his trembling, clammy hands, he gripped the edge of the pool, still keeping his eyes on the moon. He's never cried this hard before and he's doing his best to stop, but it was just no use at all, so he just allowed the sobs to drown him helplessly. He looked pathetic, like a little child getting his candy taken away from him. This was the night that Kendall gives up.
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The sobs may have subdued, but the tears kept on flowing. As Kendall finally looked down, he saw his tears sparkle in the moonbeam.
When the droplets hit the pool, they created ripples and blurred his reflection along with the moon's.
His tears were consumed by the water... and so was his heart.
Kendall was exhausted from all that crying, and freezing from the temperature, but he looked up at the moon once more, shivering as he breathe in and out. He remembered his old ritual and wanted to, at least, see something beautiful before he goes back to bed.
While savoring the moment, Kendall's eyes widened and his body stiffened as a pair of arms firmly wrapped around him from behind in a sweet embrace. He doesn't know how to react, but he does feel very warm, safe, and not so lonesome anymore. He let himself lean back while one of the hands around him moved up to carress his neck and wipe the tears away from his cheeks. It then proceeded to tilt Kendall's head back. Kendall shivered again, but this time, not because of the cold, but because of the pair of soft, warm lips pressing against his. The embrace tightened even more and it made Kendall ecstatic.
"Is it okay if call you mine?" The pair of lips whispered in his ear.
"I've always been yours." Kendall whispered back, then he turned around and leaned in for a passionate kiss.
Finally, all is right in Kendall's world.
He closed his eyes, falling deeper into the kiss under the full moon... His lungs filled with the euphoria of Barracuda Man Spray.
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~ Thanks for reading, and please review ^_^