Never Let Go

Set at the start of season 19, set in the same timeline as my stories An Unusual Courtship and No More Secrets (but can be read alone). Olivia and Rafael have been in a relationship for about eight to nine months now. Brian has returned to New York and is determined to get Liv back, no matter what it takes. Future chapters will be a little darker than my usual work.

"Noah hurry up you're going to be late for school and I need to get to court." Rafael called down the hall where the five year old was finishing getting ready.

"I'm ready Rafi." He came out in hall with his shoes united and on the wrong feet, "Almost ready Amigo" Rafael told him with a smile as he picked him up and set him on the barstool switching his shoes and quickly tying the laces in double knots. "Now you are ready, grab your backpack, Mommy already put your lunchbox in it."

"Mommy had to work early, will she pick me up?" Noah asked. Liv tried her best to either take or pick Noah up every day.

"She's going to try her best, but if she can't Lucy will." Rafael explained and watched as Noah nodded. "Hey Noah, Mommy told me what you said the other day about wishing Lucy was your Mommy. I don't think you really meant that, did you?"

Noah shook his head, "No, I was mad at Mommy. "

Rafael, "I understand that Noah, sometimes I say things that I don't mean when I get mad too. Even when we don't mean what we say it can still hurt people's feelings. Do you know what we are supposed to do when we do or say something that hurts someone's feelings?"

"Say I'm sorry." Noah answered tentatively.

Rafael smiled and hugged him, "Yes, Amigo when we hurt someone we say we are sorry, and do our best to not do it again."

"Do you ever have to tell Mommy you're sorry Rafi?" Noah asked.

Rafael laughed, "Less often than I use to, but yes and sometimes she even had to tell me she's sorry." He told the boy as he lifted him off the stool. "Come on Noah, we need to go."

The two walked out of Liv's building, Rafael taking Noah's hand as they reached the side walk and turned in the direction of Noah's school. They were lost in conversation about Noah's soccer team and did not notice the car parked slightly down the street nor the man sitting in it watching them.

Brian Cassidy was taking a sip of his coffee and almost dropped it when he saw Rafael Barba emerge from Liv's building a little before eight in the morning, holding hands with who he could only assume was Liv's kid. What the hell was Barba doing at Liv's place at this hour in the morning? And just how close were they that he was taking the kid to school, or daycare, wherever kids his age went. Brian looked down at his watch, it was his first day at the new job and he didn't want to be late. He had pulled the last string that he had to get this job and he couldn't afford to screw it up.

As he settled into his cubical at the DA's office Brian could not get his mind off the sight of Barba coming out of Liv's apartment with the kid. He always thought Barba had a thing for her but could not imagine Liv ever going for him. He wasn't her type, she needed someone tougher, grittier if you will than the well-polished Assistant District Attorney. He had heard through the grapevine that she was briefly involved with Ed Tucker, now Ed was her type, not Barba. No, if anything Barba was probably just following her around like a puppy dog like he had after William Lewis, taking her kid to school was probably just one of his desperate attempts to get closer to her. Well that wasn't going to happen, he was back now and it was only a matter of time until he and Liv were back together.

The next morning he stationed himself outside her building again, a little earlier this time since he had missed her the morning before. He drank his coffee while he waited, trying to erase any evidence that might be lingering of the bottle of whiskey he had finished the previous night. He waited for almost an hour and was about to head to the precinct when he saw the door to her building open. He caught his first glimpse of her black pants and a jacket as usual, with a bright red shirt underneath. She of course had the kid with her but that did not deter him. He was tugging on the door handle when he saw her turn back to the door as the kid made his way back up the stairs. Brian fell back against his seat as he watched what happened next.

Rafael Barba made his way once again out of the building carrying what appeared to be the kid's lunch box. The kid launched himself into Barba's arms who hugged him. Brian watched as Barba pulled back inspecting the boy and took a minute to tie his shoe laces tighter. What happened next though was what really got Brian. He watched as Liv walked towards them both, Barba stood up picking the boy up as he did, he pulled Liv in with his free arm into a group hug of sorts. He watched as Liv pulled back, and Barba set the kid down, Liv straightened Barba's tie before moving her hand to the side of his face and kissing him goodbye. He watched as she took her son's hand again heading off in the same direction he had watched Barba go the day before. He bent down and fiddled with the radio in his car as Barba walked pass him in the direction of One Hogan Place.

When he was sure Barba was past him he sat back up in his seat and slammed his hands against the steering wheel. What the hell was she doing with Rafael Barba? He wasn't nearly man enough for her. It must be about having a family, before they broke up she had asked him about that. Did he want to have a family with her? No, he didn't, he just wanted her, but now if a family was what she had to have for the kid he would make it work. He and Olivia Benson were meant to be together and Rafael Barba was not going to be the one to stop them.

TBC