Reunited by Reuniting
It was … a surprise to see Mira at her door. It had been a very long time since she just came over without warning. Came to her at all. They were still close. They would always be close; they had shared too much and been together for too long to ever lose that closeness.
But after Lisanna … after Lisanna, Mira shut down.
More than shut down. Mira changed. She became the opposite of what she was. As if she blamed her very being for the death of her sister. Which was exactly the truth. And she could understand that. Understand what it was to hate yourself so much that you went somewhere else.
Put your heart somewhere else.
Put your mind somewhere else.
But if she had been good at doing that, Mirajane was flawless. Her lips twitched only slightly. She would not smile and be have it taken the wrong way. But it proved that she was the stronger one. Not just phyisically. Because she held her pain better than Mira did. She didn't kill her old self. She just didn't talk about her past.
In that way she won.
Didn't hurt that she was the better mage either. Though she wouldn't mention that now. It would disrupt the fine balance Mira was walking on. Could disrupt it in a good way. But more likely it would send her running, and that was exactly what she didn't want.
Without a word, she opened the door wider and indicated that Mira should feel welcome. Should come in. Of course that was always true. She didn't even care if Mira knocked. She should know that she had free run of her rooms whenever she needed.
Whenever she wanted.
But Mira had not wanted for several years. She had probably needed, but she hadn't wanted. And that was something she respected. She would not take what wasn't wanted. Would not demand what would cause more hurt than joy.
Joy was the wrong word. There wasn't much joy in what they had before. Pleasure. That was better. Freedom. That fit too. Though 'freedom' made a small tingle of guilt numb her lips. She remembered that feeling from before.
She'd felt guilty then too. But she had felt guilty about all of it. About every single day. About every single sunrise, and every smile that escaped the armor she had locked around her soul.
But Fairy Tail was a place where unhappiness could not exist in perpetuity. Fairy Tail whittled away at it. It came and went. And then one day you would wake up with a smile on your face. And the next it would happen again. And again. And again. And eventually you stopped feeling like a monster for your smiles. Stopped hating yourself with every breath.
Because families were good at picking you up when the world knocked you flat.
Mira had felt that too, but she pushed herself past the sadness. Forced the smile on her face until it became easier. Before it became natural. She faked it so well. Mira was a shifter. The smile on her face was, she knew, for the longest time formed only by magic.
But she also knew the day when it wasn't. And on that day some of the old passion stirred in her body. In her heart. But she made no move. Asked for nothing. Because even though Mira was smiling, it was obvious that she couldn't bear to be touched. Not yet.
Maybe not ever.
And it closed her throat. Made her choke.
Mira had been the only would who could make the guilt really go away. Who could stop the tears at night, even though that was something she wanted to hide from everyone. When Mira found out, it was the only time they did not clash. And they always fought. Fought for the top. Who was the most powerful. Who was the strongest. Who would be the best in the guild.
But when Mira caught her crying, hair covering her face. She did not make fun of her. Did not laugh. Did not hit her. Did not turn away.
Now Mira was crying at night. It was painfully obvious. And she wanted to be for Mira, what Mira was for her. For so long. For what seemed like almost forever, Mira was there for her.
Why couldn't she do the same? Why wouldn't she let her in?
She only asked the question sometimes. In her head. Never out loud. Because she understood. Some part of them were still warring it out. She had needed help. Mira thought she was being stronger by not asking for help. By not needing help.
And also, Mira knew she was vulnerable. And until the end, despite the name others gave her, and despite the way Mira acted with a sword in her face, the shape changer had always been kind when it mattered. And it wasn't her way to add to the burden of someone already suffering.
Like that first night, this was also a gift.
And she accepted it because she didn't think she could do what Mira did. She couldn't help as well. Couldn't be as good at wiping the tears away. At knowing when it was better to hold, or better to walk away for the night. To put lips to skin, or a fist in her face.
Mira was always so good with people.
She only knew how to lead them. How to kill them. She could rally people to their deaths, but she could not bring the person she cared most about into happiness.
Mira walked into her rooms and said nothing about the size. It was a lot bigger than the last time she had come for a visit. There was also nothing said about the decorations. About the layout. But there was a certain twist to the lips that made her scoff.
She hadn't been that much of a slob before. Seriously.
Mira followed the turns of her rooms easily. Like she'd been in the place a million times. Which she had, but not like it was now. Now it was a maze, to keep any intruders busy while they walked to their deaths. Or at least a large amount of pain. There would be retribution, at least, for any fool who dared to enter her space without permission.
No one, yet, had been stupid enough to try, but she was waiting for the day. Almost eager for it.
Mira was smiling as if she knew exactly why the rooms were arranged the way they were. And Mira found the sitting room with no problems. Not once did she pause to consider her location. The couch seemed to be her destination, and she sat there looking down at her hands for the longest time.
There was no reason to rush. She would still allow Mira the space she needed. Let her muster her courage. Gather her thoughts. She knew what it was like to be unsure of what to do next. She knew what it was like to be afraid.
"Thank you," Mira's voice was thick, and no surprise. There were tears there. Hours of tears. But also happiness. And still the fear. Fear that it was a dream. Fear that it would be taken from her again. After knowing sadness and loss for so long, it was hard to trust joy.
That was a truth she could connect with quite easily.
"Thank you," she said again, "for bringing her back to me."
She smiled. Still stood in the doorway. Unmoving as if confronting a timid animal. "It wasn't me. Or wasn't only me. Mistgun should take most of the credit for sending us back. And the exheeds too. And Gajeel. Without him, we wouldn't have been able to fight. Me and Gray. Natsu, Lucy, and Wendy might have managed on their own, but it didn't hurt that Gray and I were there." She shrugged. "We were doing our jobs. What anyone would do."
The laughter was familiar. Not the old laughter. Not the laughter she'd gotten used to over the last two years, but something in between. Something worn and jubilant. "You were never good with praise. Even when you earned it."
"It remains true, though. I was not the only one there. I am not the only one who earned it."
"But you're the only one who understands what it means."
"That's not true. Natsu would understand. Gray would understand. They -"
The smile this time was considerate, but stronger. "No. They wouldn't." That was different too. Just a day ago, Mira would have been less sure. She would have said, 'I don't think so' or 'I'm not sure.' The definite 'no' was a hint from times long past.
"Mira, you know they -"
"They would understand what it means to them. Natsu and Igneel. Gray and Ur. They would understand what it means to them. You understand what it means to me. That's why I'm thanking you."
Because she did understand, she kept quiet on the issue.
"How did you do it?" Mira's question was quiet. And a little shaky.
"We didn't actually know. Natsu didn't see her, and if he had, he would have assumed she was as she pretended to be. Her Edolas counterpart."
"That's not what I meant to ask."
"Then you actually meant what?"
"How did you change yourself. After the Tower."
"Excuse me?"
"You must have noticed. You aren't what you were before. Your smiles are more genuine, and you smile more often. You don't lecture as much. You allow others to play more."
"I'm not sure what you're saying exactly, but a few others have mentioned the same thing."
"You aren't a stupid woman. Quit pretending you are the unemotional thug you were for so many years." The smile on her face made a lie of her words.
"Sure. Okay. I don't know. It just happened, Mira. I didn't notice. I can't remember … I think Lucy said it first. That I was different. Than before. I didn't see it then. But." She hesitated when she remembered different events. More recent events. "In Edolas I saw what I once was in my counterpart. The unmovable. The unshakeable. The pure belief in something.
"I didn't do anything. The changed happened. I didn't wonder why."
Mira laughed, "No, you wouldn't. You were never one for whys and hows. Just whats and whens and wheres."
"That is often true."
"It is always true!"
"You're underestimating me."
"And you're overestimating yourself. It's only natural. You've gone so long without real competition."
That was a warning if she'd ever heard one. And she's heard more than a few. She spotted them every single time. She heard them. She beat them. Also every single time.
For the last few years at least.
"You never asked why about us either." Mira's voice went soft again.
"Of course not."
"Exactly! You never once wondered why I cared so much. And I always wondered how you could love me when we battled it out all the time. And I never understood why I cared and could still try to beat you when we were in the guild."
"Because there was no reason to question. You were the most important person to me here. The only person who could match me. There was no one else I would turn to. That would be pointless."
"I see. I had Elfman and … and Lisanna. But it wasn't the same, was it? They were both so kind. They didn't want the top like I wanted the top. And you were the only person in my way."
There was nothing she could do but laugh at that. "Sure you wanted the top. But you had to fight me for it."
And Mira blushed scarlet. She hadn't realized what she said.
"I did expect you to come after you took your power back. After the fight with Fried."
Mirajane caught her eyes and held them. "And you didn't wonder why? Even then?"
"You were not ready. I accepted that. Understood it."
"You were right, I guess. I wasn't ready to go of the Mira I created. The soft Mirajane who helped but didn't fight. The me that stepped back. Was afraid. Wanted to protect, but was sure I couldn't. The me that was kind."
"You were kind in your own way, then. You would have never admitted it. But you were kind."
"I didn't think of it that way ..."
"You were wrong."
Mira's eyes were wide. Shocked that she would say that, and a bit indignant at the insult.
"And you're still not ready."
"But I am." Still indignant, but no longer shocked.
"No you're not. You came here for the thanks. Not for me."
"Why would I come to you for thanks and not for you yourself. I could thank you, say thank you, in front of the guild."
"Because you want to be ready. But you're not." It was as obvious to her as the color of her eyes. The texture of her hair. Both of which she still remembered, no matter how many years had gone by. Those things she could never forget.
"Then let me try. Let me work at being ready." The indignant look turned to something closer to a plea. That was all the new Mira, not the old one. The Mira she had gotten used to seeing in the guild, not the one she had shared her life and her body with in these rooms.
Well … in one of these rooms. The rooms weren't the same.
She wasn't the same. People told her so. So they must be right.
So maybe she shouldn't expect her to be the same either.
"We took baths together when we were girls."
The answer, though no question had been asked, was punctuated by a soft breath and the beating of her heart in the vein in her throat. "Yes. Yes we did."
"I have five rooms. Five baths. All different. I can't exquip the bathrooms, but I like options in my accessories."
The laughter again. More breathy, less bitter and afraid. "You always did."
"We'll work our way around them then. Closest one first."
"Why the closest one?" This time the question was teasing. Mira had a voice for teasing. A sparkle in her eye for teasing. Two actually. One for old Mira and one for new Mira. Like her laughter, this was something of both. And maybe something more.
"Because it's closest of course."
By the fourth bathroom they were both a little tired. It had been a while afterall. She was right, at first. Mira wasn't quite ready. But occasionally Mira could prove her wrong.
This was one of those times.
"I told you." The teasing voice this time was punctuated with a sigh. But it wasn't a bored sigh. Not even close.
She smirked. "So was I."
"I was right last though. That's what matters."
"But I was still right first."
She laughed. "I'm surprised I haven't punched you in the face. Or you haven't. We always used to fight first; do you remember?"
"I still can, if you want. We fought after, too." She held her with arms that were stronger than they used to be, and traced her skin with hands and fingers that were bigger than before.
The water made soft sounds and ripples as Mira leaned up to kiss her. To bite her shoulder. To look her directly in the eyes and smile. "I guess I should thank Natsu and Gray and the others tomorrow."
"Like hell you will."
Laughter and smiles from both of them. The laughter felt good against her body. Reminded her of the past, but was also new. Was now. Not then. That mattered. That they could come back together after so long apart.
"I'll thank them for you."
"I don't think you'll be doing that either! Don't think I'll let you!"
The laughter again, and she pulled her up to bite her neck in return. "Then we'll thank them together."
It wasn't supposed to be a joke that time. That time she meant what she said. But Mirajane fell out of her arms with the laughter. Nearly drowned from the loss of control. The sound of her gasps were echos of earlier. Her skin tightened, woke up from the content and the tired fog. But she couldn't help but smile too.
When Mira had calmed herself enough to speak she answered, "Gary and Natsu would appreciate that."
"Gray and Natsu wouldn't have a clue what to do."
"Oh my goodness! I can't believe you just said that."
"The truth is an easy thing to say."
"What about Gajeel and Lucy? They might."
"Eh. Gajeel would be awful. And it's a hundred years to early for Lucy to even be thinking of something like that."
"Of this, you mean."
"Of both."
"Then I guess they'll have to accept Elfman's thanks in place of my own." Mira couldn't say it with out dissolving into blushes and covering her face in absolute embarrassment. She sputtered a bit herself. What a thing to say about her dear little brother! "That won't work either."
"I … I guess it wouldn't, would it?"
They both let the mirth fade to an easy silence. She looked at the top of Mira's head on her shoulder. Mira was running her fingers in a light line from the underside of her right breast to the thin skin over her hip. Down and then up again. Down and up. Down and up. The feeling in her skin followed that path, as if her fingers were leading it. As if her skin bent at Mira's whim. And at the moment it did. Away from the guild it always had.
"So," the words were heavier than the jokes. Darker than the laughter. Stronger than the sadness. "You mentioned something about five bathrooms?"
Author's note: A gift for a friend I love dearly, who also loves me dearly and wouldn't SHUT THE HELL up about me writing this! I was soooo into an Evergreen/WHOEVER (Cana or Lucy were my first ideas). Or a Lucy/Levi/Laki … because Laki is a bit of a sadist, and the way she talks might be interesting.
The title is a bit lame, I think, but it seemed better than my others. Like, by reuniting Mira with her sister, Erza and Mira were reunited too. Get it? Yeah. Awesomely clever right?