Disclaimer: Don't own DC comics or any of its creations...
.
.
It was nearly two in the morning when somebody thought it was a good idea to sneak into his bed and nuzzle up against him, putting an arm around his waist. He shoved her off the bed almost instantly.
"Puddin'!" She landed on the floor rather unceremoniously and he quickly held back a laugh. Best not to make her think he was in a good mood.
"Go away, Harley. Daddy's sleeping." He didn't even get up or open his eyes to look at her; instead staying at his sideways position that was surely going to let him fall asleep any minute now. That is if a certain distraction would get the hell away already.
She pouted. "But I'm scared."
That woke him up. He rolled over, sitting up and eyeing her through the dark. "Of what?" After months (or was it years?) of being with him what could possibly scare her that he didn't know about already?
She bit her lip, nervously pulling at the hem of her nightdress. "The thunder." She continued to chew her lip while he vaguely thought about moving closer to her, wanting to belt her across the face. She disturbed his sleep for this?
"The thunder?" And as if on cue a loud crashing sound flooded their room from the outside. She jumped up almost instantly, shrieking before climbing onto the bed with him and nuzzling herself against him once more.
He shoved her off again.
"Please Puddin'," She whined, "Just for tonight."
More thunder came but this time she stayed put at her spot on the floor; choking down another whimper.
"No." He answered simply, rolling back over in another attempt at sleep.
"Please please please please - "
He ground his teeth, hinting his voice with malice. "Go to bed, Harley."
She began sniffling. Then whimpering. Another minute and-
She burst into a full out cry, sobbing hysterically. "Please Mistah J," She hiccuped, "I promise I'll be good, I won't do nothin'."
He rolled his eyes, turning over to look at her once more. "You're a grown woman, Harley. I'm sure you can handle a little thunder." But the moment he said it he almost burst into laughter; her pigtails and cartoon-character-covered-pajamas and the tears streaming down her face giving off anything but the image of a full-grown woman.
"But Puddin'," Her lip began wobbling at the threat of more tears, "It's really scary and-"
Another loud crash broke through the air - a really loud crash this time - and she yelped, hugging herself as her voice came out desperate and rushed. "Pleasepleasepleaseplease - I promise I won't ask for anythin' else ever again." He stifled more laughter at how childlike her suggestion was - and how completely untrue.
"Fine." Even so he agreed, rolling back over and rolling his eyes as she eagerly climbed into bed with him. It was either that or argue with her for another hour before she finally gave up and, most likely, would end up passing out at the foot of his bed anyway. Clingy thing that she was.
Then she slipped an arm around his waist again, snuggling into his back once more. He ground his teeth.
"No," He yanked her arm off of him, shoving her to the other side of the bed, "Don't touch me. This is my side, that's yours. Now go to sleep." With that he closed his eyes, ignoring her as best he could while images of dead bats and robins and-
She was sniffling again.
He sat up, fully annoyed at this point. "What? What Harley? What now?"
She let out another whimper. "Can't we just cuddle a little, Puddin'?" She sniffled, "It'll make me feel safer an' I won't be so scared anymore."
He glared at her. "You touch me again and I'll do a little more than just shove you off the bed." Done with her now he rolled back over, pointedly laying as far from her as possible.
More thunder cracked through the air. A moment later and she was hugging his back.
He elbowed her in the face in response. "What did I say?" He hissed and she quickly moved to the other side of the bed again, holding her injured nose now.
"I didn't mean to, Puddin'," She pleaded, "You're just so perfect and the thunder's so scary and I just feel better touching you is all."
You're just so perfect.It was an unnecessary compliment and they both knew it. She was obviously trying to flatter him, trying to get on his good side. Unfortunately his ego ignored that little fact and he instead grinned. After all, her statement was completely true.
"Fine," He went on, "But you touch me again and I break your arm." He closed his eyes once more, crowbars and explosives running through his mind now.
"Puddin'?"
He ignored her, focusing instead on whether or not they were low on explosives.
"Mistah J?"
He heard her scoot closer and he tensed, wondering if she wanted a broken arm that badly. Something brushed his back.
He whirled around, fully angry now as Harley still sat on the other side of the bed, holding a pillow between them. He quickly reached out, yanking her arm towards him before she pulled it back, "It wasn't me Mistah J," She rushed, "It was the pillow-" She held it up, shoving it at him for evidence. He paused.
"What?"
Her lip trembled as he continued to grip her arm, holding it tight enough that bruises would surely be there the next day. "I used the pillow, Puddin'," Her voice was calm now, cautious, "Since you said I couldn't touch you and 'cause you weren't answerin' me."
He dropped her arm, running a hand through his hair as he bit back the urge to beat her unconscious. He shoved her off the bed instead. "Get out."
"But Mistah J-"
"I said get out." He snapped, wrapping the entire blanket around himself now in case she didn't listen.
She began whimpering in response and he ignored her, smothering a pillow against the side of his head in an attempt to block out the noise. Then lightning filled the room and she started crying again.
He ground his teeth. It was going to be a long night.
.
.
A/N: No, I don't actually think that Harley would be afraid of thunder. I do, however, think she would pretend to be so if that meant it got her in the Joker's bed.