Invader Zim unrated

By:

Once apon a time Gir was sitting on the couch with his butt watching TV and drinking booze. Gir was watching an inappropriate program that he unlocked after he figured out Zim's stupid password. Gir started to imitate the humans on the TV "OH YEAH THAT HITS THE SPOT! CMON HARDER! MMM YEAH FASTER FASTER! OH SHIT, IMMA CUM!" The little robot took out his dildo started jamming it between his legs and he started to shriek with pleasure. Gir giggled and kissed the abused dildo. "Hehe I love you, Mr. Jiggles." Said the insane cute little robot.

Just then Zim barged in the living room where Gir was jacking off. "Uh, Gir? What on earth are you doing?!"

"N-Nothing!" said Gir as he changed the channel and hid the dildo behind his back really fast with an embarrassed smile.

"GIR!" Zim said.

"Yes, Master?" said Gir in duty mode, his eyes turning red, standing up straight with his hand saluted to his forehead. "Salu-fucking-tations!"

"Did you go to the club last night?"

"Yes, Master!"

"Did you grind on all those hot chicks?" Zim asked.

"YES, MASTER!" Gir shouted as he standed up on the couch and started dry humping the air with a huge grin on his face.

Zim at skool

It was the first day of Skool and Zim barged in late to class. He took an empty seat diagonally across from behind Dib. Dib turned around and started to stare at Zim just to piss him off.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" said Zim.

Dib kept staring at him.

"Turn around, faggot!" said Zim.

"Your green." said Dib.

Zim had an annoyed look on his face and tried to ignore him but Dib just kept looking at him.

"FOR THE LOVE OF SHIT, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, YOU BIG-HEADED BITCH?!"

"Are you an alien or something?" Dib asked.

"NO, I mean yes…er- I AM NORMAL! Uhh just fuck off, okay?" Zim ran out the door in the middle of class.

"Dib!" said Ms. Bitters. "Is this something you would like to share with the rest of the class?"

"Teachers always ask that…" Dib thought inside his big head. "What the hell am I supposed to say? Yes?!"

At the Membrane house

Zim and Dib are completely naked and fighting in paint, Dib wrestled Zim to the ground and sat on him while they were covered in paint

"Ah dammit I got paint up my ass!" Said Zim.

"You DESERVE paint up your ass!" Dib said.

Just then Gaz walked in on them "What the-?"

"UhhhheygazyoushouldknockbeforeyoubargeinimeanwhattheheckiswrongwithyoubarginginlikethatwowijustfeltlikegettingnakedandpleasedonttelldadimgladimgayandnotallowedtomarryorreproduceBYE!

The End

Zims POV

Once open a time there was a stupid and ugly big-headed boy named Dib. Everyone hated him and he has no friends because he is stupid and ugly. He is always trying to expose my identity because he is stupid and has no life. He is the arch nemisis of a very handsome and very smart alien (who is HYOOMAN!) and is wonderful. Dib is ugly and stupid.

Your probably thinking "what's up with zimmy drinking all the Dib hater-aid? Is he really that bad?"

Uh that would be a yes. With a capital Y.

So this Dib thing cums to my house after school and knocks on my bell.

"DINGGG-DONGG!"

"Mister ZIM! Please let me take a picture of you for my high school yearbook!" Dib yelled from outside.

"Aw shit, someone's at the FUCKING door GIR GET THE DOOR!"

"Why don't you kiss my as someday you narcissistic diarrhea gargling cum-sponge I was just playing around with piggy in my bed HEE hee a robot fucking a pig that is sooo much fun! Oh and I ejaculated my robo jizz all over the room you have to lick it off! I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doom doo doo doom! Hey you wanted to pay for pizza okie dokie I had I coupon! Also I wanna kiss your Archie nemisis and show dibby how I suck balls yum yum!"

Zim looked at Gir for a real long time "Shut up Gir your disturbing my masturbation!"

"I'll get *Mr. Jiggles all warmed up for ya!" Gir shrieked.

*Mr. Jiggles is a dildo.

"No Gir! No Mr. Jiggles!" Zim said. Gir went really close up to Zim's face and stared at him with a blank expression.

"I watch you sleep..." Gir said. "Also I keep your alien skeet...in a bottle,"

Zim backed away from Gir and a half disgusted, half scared look on his face.

"Don't tell me to shut up," Gir said, pushing Zim on the floor. "Or I will kick your green ass all the way back to Irk."

The End (For now)

*Gir walks in a dark room with Zim inside it*

"Master, you just make me so happy all the time, and I wanna make you happy too..." Gir said in a voice that didn't sound like his.

"What?" Zim looked at Gir like he was shoving a remote up his ass.

"I want to fuck your brains out." Gir said firmly.

"Uhh...How bout no you fuckin weirdo." Zim said, backing away from Gir with a freaked out look on his face.

Gir started to scream and run around in circles and throw a temper tantrum "I WANNA SEX YOUU! NO FAIR! AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!"

"SHUT UP GIR!" Said Zim. "Fine, I'll screw you."

"YIPPEEEE!" Gir turned from tantrum mode to his regular happy-go-lucky self extremely fast, like as soon as Zim said yes. "IM SO HAPPYYY!" Gir shrieked. Gir pushed Zim on the couch and started kissing him like crazy.

"GET OFF ME, YOU CRAZY SHIT!" Zim shouted, pushing Gir away. Gir looked confused, as usual. "Why you no like me, master? I want you,"

"I like you! Gir-whatever your name is! It's just-I'm busy working on destroying all HYOOMANS! Especially that stupid, degenerate UGLY POINTY-HEAD DIB! OH HOW I HAT-"

"I like Dib!" Gir interrupted. "I just had sex with him last night! Fun!"

"WHAT! HOW COULD YOU SCREW AROUND WITH THAT STUPID BOY! HE'S MY ARCH NEMESIS!"

"I LOVE HIS BIG HEAD!" Gir screamed, then he put on his cheap dog costume and left the house to go get more booze.

Gir stopped at the door "so when will we make love, master?"

"I HAVE NO FRIENDS!" Zim shouted. "Oh we will do it tomorrow when I get home from skool."

"Hee hee okie dokie! I can't wait to lick your space nipples, Zimmy!"

"Yeah, whatever just leave already and bring us more booze." Zim said.

The next day

Zim is walking home from skool with Dib.

"Zim, I was just wondering, do you have a penis?" Dib asked.

"Wha- That is none of your concern!" Zim said.

Just then Zim remembered he was supposed to have sex with his robo sidekick, Gir. Zim cringed at the thought of Gir touching his balls that he doesn't have. Zim suddenly realized...He wanted to have the sex with Dib! Zim and Dib were in love with each other this entire time!

"Zim, why were you raping that little crackhead chihuahua behind the dumpster?" Dib asked.

"Oh I'm sexually frustrated so I was taking it out on him..." Zim said.

Then they started to make out but before they could fuck, Gir barged in. His mouth opened wide and he dropped his popcorn and booze in shock. "Uhh I could explain..." said Dib. "Erm Gir shouldn't you be off harassing squirrels or something?" Zim said. "WHAT?! ZIM YOU PROMISED YOU'D HAVE SEXY TIME WITH ME!" Gir cried then ran out the door, feeling betrayed.

Gir sat outside of Zim's house all lonley and lit up a blunt to make him feel better. Just then Moofy came along and she was selling dope cookies with cocaine sprinkles on top. "Hiya Gir wanna buy some cannabis cookies?!" Moofy said, jumping all around and holding up a bag of expired weed. "Hell yeah I wanna buy some," said Gir, handing her some dirt and bolts to pay for the weed. Gir and Moofy snorted all the coke and Gir ate the dope cookies off of Moofy's tits. After that they had sex and hit the clubs.

At the strip club

"Why the hell is there a little girl dancing with a robot...?" The bartender guy said, watching Gir and Moofy grind on each other.

Gir drank some more booze and Moofy dragged Gir by his hand into the girls bathroom and they had sex again in the bathroom stall. The next day Gir woke up, not remembering a thing that just happened last night. Then Invader zim was canceled and was never shown again in reruns.

Teh end (Wait theres more)