A/N: This story takes place within the Inuyasha universe, but with a slight alteration that will make all the difference: Inuyasha's father didn't die in the fire with Takemaru. He survived, and he managed to live with his second wife for a few blessed years… before she died (I'm sorry, I can't believe I'm killing Izzy). Now alone, he has to deal with his grief and his reawakening feelings for an old love, plus a very angry five-year-old boy. Enjoy! lol

Ps: Rating will probably go up?

One

He could feel his son's presence from across the room. The boy's heart was beating slowly, as if sustaining life wasn't really worth the effort.

Toga looked at the empty futon where his wife had lay, measuring his steps as he walked past it and trying to keep his grief under control. He would turn into his true form and howl his misery into the night later, but now he needed to see to the boy.

She would have wanted him to see to the boy.

Inuyasha was trying to become smaller by bracing himself against the wall. His eyes were downcast and he no longer cried. Toga supposed the five-year-old's tiny body had finally exhausted itself, unable to cope with so much. With so much, so soon.

"Inuyasha," the Inu no Taisho grumbled in his general's voice, but it came out a little broken. "Get up, son. We must go."

The boy lifted his head to look up at his father. Toga expected to see a child's fury in them, hot and demanding, but what he saw instead was a cold, quiet rage that could chill a grown man to the bone.

Good, he thought even as his heart was breaking, he will need it. I sheltered him.

"Where?" Inuyasha exhaled the question quietly, his voice sounding nothing like the cheerful staccato it used to be. "Why?"

"To the front garden," Toga answered. "To give your mother a proper burial."

If the servants waiting outside of the room thought they were being discreet as they listened, they were severely mistaken, but the Dog General didn't have time to take care of gossips. He clenched his jaw, wondering if they were actually relieved their human mistress was gone. Sometimes, Toga caught himself actually missing the old human staff… at least they had been open about their disdain.

It doesn't matter, he told himself, putting a stop to his thoughts of the past. She is not coming back.

Inuyasha leaned on his tiny fists to stand. Toga didn't miss their trembling.

"Just us?" The boy asked, raising his chin at his father. His nose was red from crying, but there wasn't a single tear to be seen anymore.

"And Miss Misao," Toga added with a nod, remembering the desperation of Izayoi's lady-in-waiting upon discovering her mistress was dead. The girl had been the first (and maybe the only) dog demon in the house to acknowledge Izayoi as his wife.

"Fine," the small boy spat, turning to point at the door with a tiny clawed finger. "But they stay away." He dropped his arm and looked at his father's feet, his whole body shaking. His ears were drawn back in what looked like a painful angle, and a snarl that didn't sound like a child's came out of his throat.

The Inu no Taisho found himself strangely speechless as he faced his son's wrath, only nodding his acquiescence.

Maybe I haven't sheltered him as much as I thought.

Without another look at the Dog General, Inuyasha started to walk away, the sound of his light footsteps echoing in the nearly empty room. In spite of having been a princess, Izayoi hadn't been fond of having many trinkets surrounding her; a habit that was glaringly obvious now that she wasn't around.

Inuyasha will never forgive me, Toga realized as he watched the boy's back.

It was an unfortunate thing, to say the least, since his son was only five. They still had many years ahead of them before parting ways.

I hope they will be enough.

Izayoi's burial was a quiet, private affair. Inuyasha managed to hold back his tears until the first fistful of earth hit his mother's body; then, he started sobbing.

Toga ached to hold his son, to comfort and be comforted. Dogs were naturally affectionate and loyal, and dog demons had that in common with the lesser species. It was a very strong impulse, a call of nature as old as time. Unable to contain himself any longer, he put one heavy, dark hand on the boy's skinny shoulder, barely squeezing it.

As if his touch had burned him, Inuyasha recoiled with a hiss. Without taking his eyes from the hole where his wife's covered body was, Toga gave a step back.

He knew in his mind that he had every right to be there, to say goodbye to his Izayoi properly, but in his heart… in his heart, he had failed like never before; failed her and their son. Toga felt like taking to the skies to grieve, but he couldn't seem to move his feet.

This was really happening.

She was really gone.

Their time together had been so brief… sweet, but brief. He remembered meeting her, a spoiled eighteen-year-old princess who had been so bored with life that she'd been willing to walk into a nearby forest every night to see if something would happen—anything.

I happened, he contemplated, and the thought almost made him smile.

Izayoi hadn't screamed, but he had felt her fear like tiny electric shocks traveling along his skin. A brief introduction was made, an apology was uttered. Furtive glances had been exchanged, and the next thing he knew, they were sitting side by side. Toga could see curiosity peeking at him from under her dark eyelashes; that, perhaps, had been his undoing, for as long as she stayed interested, he couldn't simply walk away.

He suspected he'd been just a dangerous pastime in her boring life, but things had slowly changed—for both of them. Contrary to what he knew many people believed (humans and demons alike), he hadn't married Izayoi because she'd gotten pregnant. He'd brought her to live with him way before their son had been conceived.

"Is this our new home, dearest?"

Her eyes were huge as they approached the secluded castle. It sat at the foot of the mountain, the roof of its long walkways partially covered by treetops.

"Do you like it?" He asked, feeling younger than he was—than he should feel.

She squeezed his hand, mindful of the crowd behind them, and he knew she did.

At first, Toga hadn't had the heart to tell Izayoi that the castle was more for her than for him. He had his duties as landlord, and demons never stayed long under a roof—not unless they wanted to lose prestige. Demon territories didn't have borders; his people didn't rely on imaginary lines. They relied on him, and he had to move around if he wanted to keep it that way.

Still, the castle would be their haven (and their child's, if they ever had one). It would keep her from harm's way and prejudice, or so he'd thought.

Izayoi's family hadn't been too happy about their union, but it wasn't as if they could have refused it. Izayoi was already older than many married women, and she had successfully driven away all potential husbands with her sharp tongue. Also, it was common knowledge that Toga was one of the most powerful demons alive, and an alliance with him would protect Izayoi's clan like nothing else could. Her father feared him, her mother didn't even look at him, and he thought they were safe.

Like many generals before him, Toga had made the mistake of underestimating the ones he commanded.

Izayoi's father had spared a few men for the protection of her new home, leadered by the captain of his guard, Takemaru. From what Toga understood, the man and his wife had been childhood playmates.

"I'm glad he'll be coming with us," he remembered her saying. "No one is as trustworthy as Takemaru."

"He'll protect me when you're away."

She had known even then that he wouldn't always be by her side, but still she'd gone through with the wedding, brave woman that she was.

Like many women before her, though, Izayoi had made the unforgivable mistake of not returning a good man's affection.

Toga had always been a little suspicious of Takemaru. He barely ever spoke, his behavior was never violent, and he was a good leader, but his eyes watched Izayoi a bit too closely. He mentioned his worries to his little wife, but she waved them off.

"You're jealous of my childhood friend, General," she chided. "A man who treats me only with the respect a guard treats his mistress." Her soft, small hands held his face still so she could peck his chin. "Why, I would never have taken you for the kind!"

When it came down to it, Toga had been right: Takemaru had wanted Izayoi. Once he realized his mistress would never give him the sign he hoped so he could act on his wishes, his desire for vengeance began.

On the night of Inuyasha's birth, Toga had needed to leave the castle to fight an old enemy who'd started to roam his lands. The dragon Ryukotsusei believed the Inu no Taisho had grown soft after marrying a human woman; so, he threatened to destroy the floating castle Toga had once inhabited—the castle his eldest son would inherit, the same one his first wife still lived in. He'd had to go.

"I will be back, love," he promised, kissing Izayoi's hand. "You won't even have time to miss me."

She grabbed his arm in a nervous gesture. "Please hurry, dearest." Massaging her swollen abdomen with her other hand, she winced. "I know it's still early, but your son seems impatient to get out."

And hurried he had.

Though seriously injured, he'd kept his promise to her. He hadn't been able to defeat Ryukotsusei, but he'd at least sealed the dragon away, postponing the problem. After one of the fiercest battles of his life (and a small confrontation with his eldest son, who mistakenly believed he was going to die), Toga had expected to arrive home, clean himself, and join his wife.

Finding a rebellion inside his walls hadn't been part of the plan.

The human guards—the guards of his own damn palace—called him a beast. They threw rocks and arrows at him, accusing him of ruining their mistress and dishonoring her house.

Takemaru put himself in his way, the fool. Toga ripped off his arm before entering home.

Finding Izayoi dead in the middle of a fire hadn't been part of the plan, either—not by a very long shot. Toga's hand shook as he took the Tenseiga out of its scabbard to right that wrong. Luckily for him, her body was still warm, her cheeks were still flushed, and the minions of the Underworld still hadn't dragged her soul away with them.

Finishing off Takemaru, who had clung to life like a parasite, hadn't been nearly as troublesome as rebuilding the castle and hiring a new staff. A staff that consisted entirely of demons.

Perhaps that was another mistake, he mused half-heartedly, watching as Inuyasha continued to bury his mother with his tiny hands. Coming back to the present, Toga moved to kneel on the other side of the grave and help him.

Inuyasha's cherubic face was as hard as stone. Dirt was smeared across his left cheek, looking out of place in such a serious, sad boy. Izayoi had always said he looked just like Toga, but the Inu no Taisho honestly couldn't see it. Except for having his coloring, the boy was every bit his mother's son.

"You shoulda been there," Inuyasha murmured unexpectedly, his eyes on the ground. His ears stood erect even under the scorching sun. Then, he fixed his round golden eyes on his father. "You shoulda saved her."

There wasn't a sound to be heard; no wind, no bird. Out of the corner of his eye, Toga saw Miss Misao crying a respectable distance away, her white hair falling to hide her face.

His throat bobbed. He could have told Inuyasha he would never have treated Izayoi like a caged bird; could have told him she'd always been a little reckless (she married a demon lord); could have told him her slipping into the water and hitting the rocks was nobody's fault; could have told him that the Tenseiga could only bring a person back from the dead once.

Toga could have told his son, finally, that he wasn't a god, damn it.

Instead, he exhaled, "Yes."

After that, the Inu no Taisho swallowed his tears, his shattered dreams, and stayed silent.

Night had already fallen when they went back inside.

The servants were waiting in a line on the main room, heads bowed and hands clasped in front of them. Their formation had 'Myoga' written all over it.

"You are dismissed," Toga said hollowly, not sparing them a second glance as he slid the shoji closed. "Perhaps definitely."

A few of them gasped, but the general didn't turn around. Inuyasha ran to his room in a red blur, Miss Misao hot on his heels. Toga wanted to grab his son by the shoulder and hold him, wanted to bury his nose in the boy's white hair until he couldn't tell which strands were Inuyasha's and which were his.

"My lord?"

The flea.

"I-I'm sorry, my lord," Myoga said pitifully. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Toga blinked down at his oldest servant, watching as he fidgeted under his gaze. Will this apathy ever leave me? He wondered.

"Are you sorry she died, or are you sorry I wasn't there?" He asked, more to himself than Myoga. "Or are you sorry I left in the first place?"

After a few heartbeats, Myoga answered, "I-I'm sorry Lady Izayoi died, my lord." His eyes dropped to his feet. "I'm sorry her life was so fragile."

"You are sorry she was human, then?" Toga spat the question, clenching his fists. Myoga whimpered. "Or maybe you're sorry she was careless?" He glared down at the flea. "For your own good, I hope it's the latter."

He wondered yet again if he should punish anyone for her death. Had none of the servants seen their mistress walking to the waterfall by herself? Had none of the guards? He found that hard to believe. Toga was sure they had been aware… and he was also sure she had wanted to be left alone. Since he had always respected her wishes, everyone else did the same (even though they didn't respect her).

If he had treated Izayoi like a possession, perhaps she would've still been alive. If he had acted like the demon her parents had warned her he truly was…

If I had been home. That is all.

It was suddenly unbearable to be stuck in his own skin. Toga needed to shed it, to free himself before he went insane. His grief was much, much bigger than this humanoid form could contain. It was the grief of a beast, and it demanded to be felt by one.

He unstrapped his armor and let it fall to the floor, seeking some relief (and almost crushing Myoga in the process).

He was at the door in an eyeblink.

Then, there was only sky.

A/N: Killing Izzy was so tough, honestly…

Omg, this is totally an experiment I'm not sure will work? Lol anyway, I hope the pace wasn't too slow. We're not done talking about Izayoi, but now you have a good idea of how things went. I'm not sure how long this fic will be. I'm guessing four chapters? If it works at all? We'll see.

Oh, I hope you didn't get the impression Izayoi was neglected by Toga, because that wasn't the case.

Review, please! Please!