A.N. Hello everyone! This is my first vampire diaries fic, and my first story in a while so i hope you all enjoy it.
xoxo
queena
Disclaimer: I don't own tvd nor due i own the characters those belong to the respectable owners
Chapter 1: Beautiful Mess
For as long as I could remember, I had always been a hopeless romantic. It could have been because my parents used to love each other so much. Or it could have been a product of watching too many Disney movies where the girl got swept off her feet by the handsome prince. Although I had the pleasure of being in love, Tyler Lockwood would forever be branded on my heart, I knew their was something bigger and more dramatic for me. I didn't expect to find that wild and crazy, I love you...I hate you type of love in the arms of my worst enemy also known as Damon Salvatore.
Flashback
something ugly this way comes
through my fingers sliding inside
It was nearly midnight and instead of being in the confines of my bedroom, I found myself standing on the Salvatore doorstop the pulsating heat while the summer rain falls upon me. I searched for the one person who could possibly help me...my best friend Stefan Salvatore. My life was in shambles yet again, and thankfully it was not my love life, or lack there of, my mother had run off and this time I knew she was really gone. The distant look in her eyes told me so, and I had a gut wrenching feeling that it was due to the man that had clutched her tight against him. I could still hear the sound of his voice as he spoke to me in his British accent, claiming that in time we would all meet again and then within a blink of an eye he was gone and so was my mother. I needed to find my mother and fix everything before it all fell apart. So I ran to the only person who could possibly help me, my best friend.
With tear stained cheeks, I quickly pushed open the door the Salvatore manor to reveal nothing but darkness. If it weren't for the sound of Adam Levine bellowing out a tune of love and despair I would think that the place was empty of its usual occupants. Strolling further into the house, I found myself in the entertainment room where the drapes were open to reveal the pale moonlight.
"Stefan." I call out only to hear the echo of my own words.
"He's not here" came a bone chilling voice suddenly behind me. I knew I felt evil in this room, it was dark and dangerous and without having to turn around I knew who it belonged to. Damon Salvatore was back in town and I was sure he was here to bring misery with him. Quickly I spun around to see his cold eyes and menacing smirk.
Damon and I had a complicated past that included a lot of hatred and even more anger. Our relationship...if that is what you wanted to call it was rather perplexing. For years we had flirted with the disaster that could be the two of us but nothing had ever come out of it. We had often walked a fragile line that left us teetering along the edge of admitted intense attraction which led to all consuming desire and utter disdain for one another. We walked a fragile line, but at least we walked it together.
Jumping back at the close proximity, I spoke. " Wh- what are you doing here?" surprised to see him. Last I heard Damon had barely been home in the last week. In fact Stefan had gotten worried and asked me to do a location spell only to find that Damon had run off to Barcelona. I had thought he would be out coveting innocent women, stalking or doing worst trying to break up his brothers relationship.
Wagging his eyebrows, he speaks."I live here, what's your excuse?" he shot out, giving me the once over before smirking. I watched as he downed the last of drink before quickly dashing off to fix himself yet another glass of what I could only guess was whisky. "Let me guess, you're here to surrender to my every whim." he asks a smirk forming on his lips. "Well then, clothes off, legs up and open wide." he grinned leering her way.
"Damon, I'm not in the mood to deal with your shit." I said pushing past him and heading to the bar. I needed a drink. I was currently having the night from hell and I was spending it talking to the devil himself things couldn't possibly get any worst.
"But I bet you're in the mood for Stefan!" he says before invading her personal space yet again. The mild irritation that crosses her features sends a jilt to his lower anatomy who was constantly betraying him when it came to the green-eyed beauty. There was something about her tonight that was so different from any other time he had been in her presence. Something he couldn't ignore if he tried. Her eyes were bright and shining with a hint of recklessness and loneliness that he knew all to well. The slow burn that usually felt whenever near her, was now at a fever pitch. It was time for the inevitable to happen. He felt it and he knew deep down she felt it as well. Tonight they were kindred, they were on the same playing field and it would be a shame to ignore such a thing.
"Damon" I called tilting my head to one side while trying to keep distance between the two of us.
"Tell me in my absence have you and my little brother finally crossed that line of friendship?" he asked while pushing a lock of hair out of her face to reveal deep green eyes.
I let out a haggard breath, before setting him with a steely gaze. "For the last time, I am not hooking up with your brother, nor do I plan to in the distant or near future." I gritted out all the while trying to ignore the slow burn that I felt within me whenever I was close to Damon. It was always like this, whenever we were near each other the flames of desire would nip at me. Caroline had called it once unresolved sexual tension, and I had told her that she was crazy.
For a moment he just stared at me as if I were the one to do say something crazy and then within a blink of an eye he was in my face studying my every moment. I couldn't help but fidget under his stare. ""You know after spending more than one hundred years with the saintly one, I still have a hard time figuring out how he manages to get the girls panties wet?" he said before moving almost predatorily her way.
I rolled my eyes. "Oh god, not this again." I wailed already knowing where this was going. Damon was jealous of his brother and the relationships his brother was able to form with people. "Blah blah blah"
Ignoring her words, he spoke. "First Katharine fell for his whimsical charm, then Elena and now you" he said finally stopping so that he now stood in front of her trembling body. He eyed her curiously as to why she had been so silent upon her arrival. Usually she would have threatened to set him on fire by now, but tonight she was strangely silent, he wondered if he had hit a nerve.
"Damon." I called feeling my eyes sting with tears. "Please." I begged hating the way my voice sounded so vulnerable. The last person I wanted to see me this way was Damon Salvatore.
The last couple of months I had found myself sinking into some sort of black hole, a darkening edge was creeping its way into my very being and if I continued on this path, I was afraid of whom I'd become. I was lonely, and despite knowing I had so many friends who loved me, I still felt alone. And I had a feeling Damon knew what it felt like to be surrounded by everyone and still feel only. We both had Stefan and he loved us but I knew I was missing something and so was Damon.
Once again he surprised me by taking a step closer. "What happened, did anyone hurt you?"
"No" I said turning around so that he was no longer looking in my face. "It's personal and I need a place to crash and this is the first place I thought to come because Stefan... can help me." I whispered ignoring the sting I felt when he blue eyes flashed hurtfully my way.
Black, black heart
why would you offer more
"He's out with Elena." He says almost painfully. "Probably fucking her as we speak." He says coming closer to me as I take a step back. "What's the matter Bonnie, does the thought of my brother fucking your supposed best friend hurt." He asked a cynical smile creeping to his lips.
Now it was my turn to smile. "Not really." I say causing him to immediately push me against the wall.
"I call bullshit green eyes.' He slurs. "I've seen the two of you together it's far more dysfunctional then anything I've seen in more than a hundred years." He says amused by his own words. "I mean who spends most of their free time with the opposite sex without having sex?' he questions giving me one of those crazy eyed looks before continuing to invade my personal space. "If the situation were reversed I would have fucked you by now." He rattles leering my way
"As if that would ever happen." I say my voice trembling as the sound of the thunder roars through the air. In all honesty if Stefan and Elena wanted to be together, I was the first person who would jump for joy, I wanted my two friends to be happy and they were most happy together.
He cups my face and I turn away from him. "Because you'd rather fuck my brother" he bites out harshly. "Well he's not here" he says suggestively as he gazes down at my body still trembling from the cold outside and my rain soaked clothes. He places his hand on my hip before dragging it up slowly underneath my soaked shirt. "You're trembling" he whispers as his lips move closer to mine. "You want me." He whispers so low that I have to strain to hear him.
I had never ever been a fan of Damon Salvatore, in fact the only thing that even connected the two of us was the fact that we cared for Stefan and Elena, otherwise I could pass him on the street and not say a word to him. But I could admit that he was probably one of the most attractive men I had ever seen...well aside from Mason Lockwood. I had always been a sucker for the guy with dark hair and light eyes and Damon had fit that description perfectly with the added bonus of being a guy who was so rouge that you couldn't help but pay attention to him.
"No" I say simply. "I don't want you." I say through gritted teeth as he nuzzles his nose into my neck. For some odd reason instead of firing away and asking questions when I have him on the ground and screaming in pain, I find myself eerily still, almost calm.
Black black heart
This was the main reason I had often avoided places alone with Damon because he could break me and would break me one day. I was extremely attracted to him and if I let myself give into temptation who then I'd be just another girl to the long list of girls that had fallen victim to his good looks and charms.
Why would you make it
easier on me
In a flash he's removed the contents that were on a nearby table and is straddling me with a look that is so unfamiliar that it scares me. I've seen the many faces of Damon Salvatore, between hurt to love-struck but never so lustful. "Bullshit" he says pulling away from my neck to give me a devilish grin. " You need me, you want me" he slurs.
All these blessing
All these burns
And he was right. I had never wanted someone so much in my entire life. I had only been with one other guy, Tyler whom I had dated during my high school days. With Damon pressed so intimately against me all I wanted was to give into the desire that was threatening to consume me. But if I gave into temptation and danced with the devil I'd never find salvation from my own demons.
I squinted in his direction. "Not as much as you want me right now " I said with a fling of the wrist causing the two of us to switch positions. From my position on top, I watched as his blue eyes lit up at my challenge. Placing my hands on his chest I dug my nails into his skin before lowering myself to whisper in his ear.
Search for pleasure
search for pain
"You're an egotistical, pretentious, jackass with homicidal and obsessive tendencies." I said while laying my hand to touch his cheek almost adoringly.
"And you're stuck up, judgmental, prude with abandonment issues." He snorted out just as quickly, as he made a go for grabbing my hands and holding them above my head. I stared his way my chest heaving as he licked his lips in a manner that made me let out a shaky breath I had no idea I was holding.
And then it happened. Suddenly his lips came crashing down onto me hard and wet and I couldn't help but let out a staggered moan. My head was telling me to run as fast as I could far, far away from the pure evil that was Damon but my body had never felt so free. He easily picked me up gripping my thighs as I assaulted his neck with hard kisses. There was something primal about the way I felt whenever I was near Damon he made me want to let go of everything I had held so dearly to me.
Quickly I pushed him away as a need for air became apparent. "I'm not stupid, your in pain probably because you've realized that chasing after your brother's girlfriend will get you nowhere and I'm feeling reckless." I stammer out while the sound of my wild heartbeat is filling my ears.
Grinning he snaked a hand around my waist. "All the better reason to " he says while rocking his body forward which in turn causes me to let out a long suppressed moan. "I'm your ticket away from whatever it is your running from." He says while kneading my flesh
"And I'm the girl who will take your mind off the one you can't have." I say a grin playing on my lips.
We both knew that this would be a mistake that we would regret this whole thing later, but that seemed so far away. I waited for him to say something...anything but the only thing he did was raise my soaked shirt up to reveal my belly before tonguing it down.
His lips came crashing down onto me hard and wet and I couldn't help but let out a staggered moan. My head was telling me to run as fast as I could far, far away from the pure evil that was Damon Salvatore but my body had never felt so free. He easily picked me up gripping my thighs as I assaulted his neck with kisses. I couldn't get enough of touching him and enjoyed the way his breath hitched whenever I rocked against him.
Our mouths dance together as our teeth clash and our tongues duel. I had no idea that a kiss would feel so exhilarating...so thrilling. And for the first time I feel like Damon and I finally understand each other.
In a rush our clothes were shed leaving him in snug black boxer briefs and me in a pale pink bra and panty set. No words were spoken between the two of us, we communicated through our eyes because words would ruin the moment. Timidly I ran my hands up and down his strong chest as he watched me with a lust-filled gaze. I wasn't stupid, I knew that at some point this would happen and if the two of us hadn't been so screwed up, it wouldn't have happened tonight, but it would have happened sooner or later and it was time to do what we both knew was inevitable.
Before I can blink, I've found myself laying down with the devil pressed firmly against me in the most delicious way. A smirk is playing on his lips as he looks down at me with dancing eyes. "This is what you want, isn't it?" he asked
Raising up on my elbows I eyed him. "I thought we already established that." I said just as his mouth made contact with my panty line.
With a smile tugging on his lips, he spoke. "I need to hear it- say the magic words Bonnie and I'll give you what you've always wanted." He said before going back to the task of placing kisses on her inner thigh leading to what had made his mouth water with lust.
My breath hitched as he got closer and I knew that I was a goner. "I want you Damon." I said in a breathy whisper and it was then that our eyes locked and something flickered between us. Maybe it was lust brought spurred on by recklessness. Whatever the reason the tiny gap between us was bridged and I pressed my body into his as close as possible. The coolness of his body was welcomed because I felt like my body was set a flame.
His cool hand trails from my face downwards beneath my clothes and soon im naked as his fingers string me like a guitar. "So wet" he murmurs as I close my eyes. I had always had a thing for guitar players and I could see Damon playing something funky like the bass or maybe something sexy like the electric guitar.
He presses into me so deep that I feel as if I might just break and before I can blink we are moving. Our bodies are slicked with sweat as we move effortlessly in sync and it was then that I knew my life would change.
When it was all over the two of us, lay stunned silently. I kept thinking about what I had done, and how if only for a moment being with Damon had taken me away from reality, away from the fact that I would still have to face my father and tell him that my mother left, for real this time and that she was never coming back.
"Don't you ever get tired of it?" Damon muses aloud startling me so much that I look his way while picking up the array of clothing that is scattered along the floor.
"Tired of what?" I asked deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wasn't a fool I knew that Damon was running from something just as I was, the truth hurts and we both had obviously come to the same conclusion tonight, or else we wouldn't have slept together.
Walking over to the bar, he poured himself a drink slowly sans clothing and without shame. I rolled my eyes reminding myself that this was Damon and whatever game he was playing was probably only the beginning. I watched him watch me and couldn't help the chill that ran up my spine. It was almost like his fingers were dancing along my spine.
"That untarnished Halo of yours" he whispers, soon breezing across the room so that he words can nip my ear. His hands roam about my shoulders and instead of stopping him I allow things to continue. I can feel the cool breeze of his breath dancing along my neck and I know he's testing me, seeing how far things can go and for the life of me I don't stop him.
I close my eyes as his lips land along my neck and without even thinking I turn around and our lips meet again. "The hell with the halo" I say quickly pushing him on the ground and claiming his lips. If I were going to hell then so be it, at least I'd go out with a bang.
End of flashback
B-D-B-D
That first night had changed everything in my world and for once in my life I had felt inhibited by the restrictions I had put on myself. In the beginning everything with Damon resolved around one thing and one thing only, sex. We did it anywhere, everywhere and all the time. And somehow it had turned into more then I think either one of us had expected. One year later we were still together.
I had always thought the notion of Damon and I together was a train wreck always in the making, we were so wrong for each other and tolerated one another because we both loved Stefan and Elena. But somehow we had made some sort of normal life together. Pain had brought us together, and love had kept me chained to his side despite our differences.
What I loved most about my relationship with Damon was the fact that it was different from anything I had ever experienced and it was so much different from those of my friends. We didn't have the typical kind of story book romance.
No we could never have a romance like Stefan and Elena because we were completely different. In some weird way we were one in the same we were both strong willed and stubborn, not to mention completely jealous but at the end of the day we had each others back. Damon knew that I would never toy with his emotions the way Katharine and even Elena on some level, had done for so long. And I knew that Damon would never leave me like everyone else in my life had done because like me, he had been shut out and left in the cold, by his father and by the woman he had loved for more than a hundred years.
Its like you're a drug
Its like you're a demon
I cant face down
It had been a long week, full of much chaos as possible. Katharine had spent a week playing mind games with all of us and it had caused quite the rift in our very foundation. Slowly the chips were beginning to fall around all of us and if we weren't carful we could lose not only our friendship but our lives as well. Elena and Stefan had broken up under the pressure of trying to keep things together. And Damon and I were doing no better. We were fighting constantly due to the change in his behavior simply because Katharine was back and she wanted Stefan. I didn't know what was worst, knowing that Damon was jealous that Katharine had wanted Stefan, or the fact that he had spent most of his time mooning over Elena. Damon liked Elena because she was the anti Katharine and she was capable of giving him the love he had wanted so desperately from Katharine, and the sad thing about that was, it was true. It was possible that Elena could love both Stefan and Damon. And that notion had left my personal relationship with Damon teetering over a ledge.
Its like I'm stuck
For weeks I had tried to ignore the feeling that was in the pit of my stomach but I couldn't ignore it any longer. Damon wanted Elena, he had always wanted Elena and now that she and Stefan were finally broken up who was I to stand in the way of the second great love of his life. I had seen the writings on the wall, I knew that Damon had wanted to do to Stefan what he had thought Stefan had done to him, he wanted to take someone Stefan loved away from him and that person was Elena. And the thought alone reminded me of where I stood in this whole love rectangle plus one. And today had been the last straw.
Its like im
running from you
all the time
I had stormed into the house locking the doors and praying that he wouldn't follow. I had been waiting for this night for a very long time and my boyfriend was nowhere to be found. For starters Damon had shown up four hours late, apparently Elena had car trouble and instead of calling the plethora of guys that could help fix a flat tire which included Jeremy, Matt, Ric, Stefan or Tyler not to mention a towing company, Elena always being the damsel had called Damon and he came strolling in like the dark night. The problem with the scenario was not that my boyfriend had run off to save another girl without much of a word to me, but the fact that drinking had turned into dancing which in turn caused him to be late. Then when Damon had finally decided to show his smug face, he was still sporting a smile that had always been reserved for Elena. His eyes were glossy with the glimmer of hope she had given him and his love sick look had been the last straw for me. So I did what any other self respecting girl would do in my situation I offered to end things for our sanity. And that hadn't gone well.
Surprisingly Damon had soon busted through the door an annoyed look on his features. He was in my face in a matter of seconds his eyes bleeding black as if he were truly upset by the notion of the two of us breaking up. I had found that hard to grasp especially since I knew whom he really wanted.
"Are you serious about this Bon? About us breaking up because I won't chase after you." He said eyeing her carefully. The hurtful words tumbled out of his mouth despite the fact the hurt look on her face had left him feeling unsettled. He had never thought that one day he would grow to care for the judgmental witch but she had become something to him. Bonnie could look at him and read him like a book, she didn't put up with his mess and he liked that about her. Bonnie was the only person he could possibly spend hours with fighting back and forth and then spend countless hours making up with. She was his firecracker and he didn't know what he'd do without her because she had finally brought back light into his life. At the same time, he knew time was running out for the two of them, he loved Elena, he just couldn't get Bonnie out of his system. He knew just as she that things between the two of them would not end well, especially since Elena and Stefan had broken up. This was his chance to finally get the girl, and he couldn't risk missing his chance with Elena even if it meant ignoring what he felt for Bonnie.
And I know, I let you
have all the power
His words stung, and I bit back a gasp, although I had known it to be true for a very long time. Damon and I were never supposed to be together. It was a fluke we had lasted this long. People said that we were inevitable that our daily fights would one day become more and they were right. One night of self loathing led to hate sex had turned into something I had never thought would ever happen to me...especially with him. I had fallen in love with the one person I had told everyone to run from and all it did was bring pain my way.
On a good day I loved Damon Salvatore. I loved that he pretended to be this bad ass when really he was just as wounded as the next person. On a good day I could look at Damon and know the reason I fell for him was because he was beautifully broken with jagged edges that were a reflection of my own. On a bad day I realized the beautifully broken man I had fallen for had cut me with his jagged edges and each cut hurt more then the last. And during those times, I hated Damon for all his faults, he selfishness, his jealous fits over my friendship and bond with his brother and most of all because he made me fall in love with him by showing me the man behind the big bad vampire dressed in black facade.
"Of course you won't." I said inhaling a big breath. "I'm neither Elena nor Katherine." I said letting out a bitter chuckle. "I do find it amusing that you chased after Katharine for one hundred and fifty years, and Elena for two years," I said sparing a glance in his direction. "All in the name of love, but for me…" I said pausing as I swallowed the pain.
"Bons, why are you doing this?" he said reaching out to touch her face.
Immediately he retracted his hand, not because she had burned him or anything but because he knew this was inevitable. The two of them getting together had been inevitable and the two of them breaking up because of his devotion, to another woman, was inevitable as well. He was a greedy man, always had been he wanted it all, Bonnie and Elena, preferably together but he knew that- that would never happen. Bonnie wanted more then he could give her and if he was someone like Stefan he would let her go because being with him caused her pain because she knew like he did, that things between the two of them would not end well, especially since Elena and Stefan had broken up. This was his chance to finally get the girl, and he couldn't risk missing his chance with Elena even if it meant ignoring what he felt for Bonnie.
Its like the only company
I seek is misery
I gave him a weak smile. "Because you love her." I said almost brokenly. "And I've been lying to myself thinking that we could ever be more then this...this mess. I'm never going to be as doe eyed as Elena or as wickedly as Katharine and if you can't accept that then I'm not enough for you." I said pausing as he linked our fingers together. "Im not enough for you." I whispered out.
Damon and I had been fooling ourselves to thinking that we could ever be truly happy together. He would always pine away for Elena and I would always resent the fact that he could never love me the way I needed to be loved. Elena would always need to be rescued and Damon would always rescue her.
"I never said that you weren't enough for me." He said quietly. For once he didn't do anything wrong, he hadn't drained anyone in what felt like eons and he hadn't cheated on her once yet he goes to help Elena and its back to popped blood vessels and burnt clothes. Sharply he turned her way narrowing his eyes slightly. "You know, once upon a time you would have been glad I helped your best friend but now since you and Stefan are connected at the hips, it seems like im the only friend Elena has since you've left her for my gloomy brother in the bff department." He rattled off perfectly.
I glared his way. "Really you're going to bring up Stefan, who is like a brother to me."
I let out a tired sigh before running my hands through my hair. I was so tired of Damon bringing up Stefan and bringing him into the equation. Yes Stefan was my friend, he had been my friend long before Damon and I had gotten together and he'd still be my friend after Damon and I broke up. Stefan understood me and he was the only person I had who I knew I could depend on. I loved Elena she was like a sister to me but she was too wrapped up in her own life to even bother to notice that she might be wrecking mine.
He glared in return. "He's the man you run to whenever things between the two of us go sour. Whenever things between us go wrong Stefan and his gloomy face and brooding forehead is standing with open arms ready to save you from little ole me."
This thing with Bonnie, and Elena was beginning to wear him down, he was tired of fighting it, tired of what he was feeling for Bonnie and what he couldn't help feeling for Elena. Everything had been easier when he couldn't feel at all, and now here he was stuck between two girls that he knew he didn't deserve. He knew the moment he and Bonnie got together that he would wreck her and the ticking time bomb that was their relationship was getting louder as the blast off date was getting closer.
"So what, if I went out with Elena, I came back here for you." He said before walking over to the bar to fix himself another drink.
You've taken over me
its like I'm not me
"Did it ever occur to you the reason I need my boyfriend tonight, that their was a reason I wanted you to be here..in my home?" I asked to which he tilted his head. "No you were too busy off playing dark knight to Elena and her latest distress.
He raised a brow. " I'm guessing you had an itch only I could scratch!" he joked but only got a stoic look. "What do you want from me?" he asked stretching his eyes.
Grabbing the collar of his black shirt I broke down. "Just tell me the truth for once Damon" I said as a tear slipped out of my eyes. " I deserve the truth." I said looking up at him. I watched as he bit his lip, in almost a shy manner and it dawned on me. Damon would never tell me the truth, not the whole truth. Never had silence spoke so loud. Stepping back I shook my head at him as if it were the last time. And then I turned to walk away but he quickly grabbed my forearm.
Its like I cant breathe
I cant see anything but you
"You don't want to do this Bonnie, I know you- you fight for everything and everyone and you cant stop fighting for us because its not in your character- you don't give up and neither do I." he said his lip curving up. "Its why we're so good together."
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
I couldn't do this anymore. It was killing me, Damon was killing me, he was sucking the life out of me like a leech and if I stayed with him-I'd die. I had been dying for months but I believed that you cant just give up because something gets difficult but I was ready to give up now. The tiny moments of good times I had with Damon weren't enough to outweigh the bad and I was losing myself with each day that passed.
"You need to leave, now" I said jerking my arm away from him. "We both knew it was only a matter of time," I said pausing to bite my lip. "So lets just end it now because if we don't its just going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the day after that." I said turning my back to him. We were a train wreck, and needed to get away before we crashed and burned.
"Why?" he asked his real emotions beginning to show.. The mask that he had been wearing for so long slipped momentarily, because the girl with the green eyes looked to be giving up on him...on them.
Its like you're a leach
sucking the life of me
I felt the first prickle of tears threatening to spill over. I had made it a habit to never cry in front of Damon but I felt like my armor was beginning to slip because I was tired-so tired of it all.
"Because I'm tired." I exclaimed. "Can't you see that this is hurting me?" I asked causing him to stare my way. "I can't do this anymore, I cannot continue to fight for you when you aren't even sure you want me." I bellowed causing him to take a step closer to me.
"I want you." he says licking his lips. His words were simple and of course no way near the words he was sure she wanted to hear but he hoped it had given him more time to sort a few things out. He had wanted her the way a man wanted a woman...and no it wasn't love...not for him but it was something that he wanted to keep to himself...for himself.
I clicked my tongue at his words. "You don't want me, you want some prize and Elena is the prize. Im just the girl that you settled for because who you really wanted wasn't ready for you." I voiced whilst stepping back from him.
"I've always wanted you...even when I was threatening you- I always wanted you." he stammers out. His words are rough as he remembers all the times he spent with her prior to them becoming who they are today. Even when he was screaming in her face, threatening to kill her and everyone she cared about he knew in the back of his mind that he had wanted to run her against the wall. To feel her smooth butterscotch skin beneath his...sliding against his.
"Because of the sex right?" I questioned a brow raised. "We've been together for a long time now, and I still feel like the girl who gave it up to you on a whim. It like we have no emotional connection- your not emotionally infested in me...your girlfriend." I said folding my arms across my chest. "I'm just another Andy Star." I said hating the way my voice choked up at my admission.
Without thinking he reached for her bringing her closer to him. "Don't do this." he said feeling helpless. "Don't ruin what we have going because I'm not prince charming."
Its like I cant breathe
without you inside of me
"Why are you fighting this?" I asked simply. "I'm not Elena, nor am I Katherine. I'm nothing like the women you love and cherish so much." I say my eyes trained on him. "I'm Bonnie and your Damon and we..." I said pausing as I felt my lip tremble.
In my thoughts, in my dreams
your taking over me
Before she could finish her words he swooped in a kissed her with everything he had. She was in his veins making his blood run hot with a slow burn that hadn't existed for so long. She didn't believe that he wanted her so he would show her the best way he could. Words had always gotten in the way when it came to the two of them, so he showed her with his mouth, with his body. He peppered her face with kisses. He showed her how much he wanted her, how sorry he was for hurting her, by running his nose along her wrist and lastly he showed her worth by taking her to bed and holding on for dear life. It may not have been love but it damn sure close to it.
And I realize
I'm never gonna
quit you overtime
song credit: kelly clarkson- addicted, david usher- black black heart