Because this is one of my alltime favourite pairings and I adore them.
She is afraid. It's the very first time she has ever been this afraid and her little heart beats furiously against her ribcage as her small feet run with all they have. The wolves breaths are right upon her and she trips over, pain in her chest from panting. The last thing she feels before the incredible fire of pain consumes her is sadness, melancholy because she thinks of all those pretty things she knows and will never see again, she remembers the tall solemn man by the clairiere whom she had earlier brought eatables to and she wonders who he was before darkness calls her.
She's surprised. The silent man is holding her and she is breathing again, all pain lifted. How... had he saved her? Wasn't she... wasn't she supposed to be gone? Wordlessly he stands and walks away and she concludes in her small mind that he must have saved her so she follows him. He tolerates her and she has nowhere else to go or to follow so she stays by his side.
Jaken is there too, a queer little gnome but she soon gets along with him, because he is funny and easy to tease.
She is amazed because with Lord Sesshomaru, as she soon finds out is what he's called, she sees such wonderful places and finds all sorts of beautiful things and she is thankful, because even when things get dangerous and she is told to stay away and hide, she never feels alone, always consoled with the knowledge that Sesshomaru-sama will protect her.
She feels safe when she lies next to the fire he has lit and she thinks that she is happy, because she has taken to Sesshomaru-sama and she couldn't ever wish for more. She is happy being just like that.
She's a little sad when she thinks about how he is a demon and she is a human and that one day maybe -probably- he will forget about her and their time together because for a being of eternity like him time is simply not the same. He tells her not to say such silly things when she asks him about it and her heart warms with pride and happiness because he is her saviour and she couldn't ever imagine belonging to anyone else.
She doesn't really understand why those human priests make such a fuss out of her traveling with Lord Sesshomaru, he protects her, he is kind in his silent way, she has never had to face hunger ever and she is now finally happy so why do they try to make her think otherwise? She forgives them for not knowing and happily takes her place at her Lords side again as she skips away with a last wave from that dreary place and those that don't want to comprehend.
She is giggling helplessly because Jaken just fell into the river and he's always doing that sort of ridiculous stuff which in return earns him a very scornful look from Sesshomaru-sama which in Rin's eyes seems to be more a look of despair as to why he even chose the gnome in the first place. She giggles a lot, because there are always such funny things to see and Jaken always does some or other nonsense he is not supposed to be doing and it's not really helping his mood when Ah-Uhn starts nibbling on his robes.
She is filled with the same helplessness she has already experienced once before when she is taken to the Underworld and snatched by the guardian. The brink of consciousness she had clung to so desperately fades away slowly even though until the very end she has the image of her Lord in mind and is thankful, so thankful that she had been granted that second chance to be with him. Kohaku is there too, but his soul just isn't enough to save or comfort, so with the knowledge of at least having been able to see the most wondrous of places she embraces the numbness.
Her eyes open to a beautiful golden bronze staring at her intently and because she still thinks she is either dead or dreaming, she is too happy to speak that she gets to see him so close one more time. Only when that big hand touches her cheek, when his soft, low voice tells her it will be alright she fully grasps that she is alive again and her Lord has saved her once again. The weight of his touch on her shoulder is the realest thing she has ever felt and bravely she swallows her tears of pride because Sesshomaru-sama taught her to be strong and she is a good pupil.
She is relieved when Naraku is finally gone and long yearned for peace spreads throughout the lands, but there is also a little anxiety because what will become of her now? Will Sesshomaru-sama allow her to travel with him any further although there is no real threat posed anymore? He never says anything about it, so her worries dissipate a little, although it's still there, coming up from time to time, but she knows even if she had to leave him he would always make sure it would be in a place where she could be safe and able to feel at ease.
She is not really opposed to the idea of living with Kaede, less so than she that had thought she would, but maybe that was because she had been told that it didn't have to be forever and after having lived with her own kind for a while she could return to Lord Sesshomaru's side if she so wished. It's not that bad she thinks, because Kaede is really nice and although Inuyasha is sometimes noisy she gets along really well with him too. Of course there is always a lot to do what with Sango and Miroku having their three kids (and thinking about their fourth one) Shippou skipping around like the bundle of fun he is and Inuyasha brawling about their fantastic adventures and his heroism to entertain the little ones. She is overjoyed too to see she happiness in the hanyou's eyes when Kagome returns to them after three years because not that he ever said it out loud but she knew he had missed her a lot.
She feels so giddy every time Sesshomaru-sama comes to visit though, because she sure misses him too and she often contentedly thinks back to when she had been able to sleep under starsprinkled skies. So when she feels a little rebellious in summer nights, she sneaks out to find a good place under a tree, just for the sake of being one with her surroundings once again. And maybe also for the sake of memories.
She is a bit puzzled however, because what is she supposed to do with all these precious kimonos he brings her as presents? She has never had such riches in her life and she doesn't really know when she is supposed to wear all of them, but it means a great deal to her that receives gifts from him, so she keeps each one treasured in a big trunk she only opens on special occasions.
She is surprised to see him this early after his last visit again so soon but he tells her that he has things to tend to in farther off corners of his lands and won't be able to roam around their little village anymore. It's more a statement than the actual question behind it, but she only hesitates a second before putting down her work and catching up to his pace with a smile. Of course she is coming along, she will always follow him, because where he is, she wants to be, because that's where she feels she is supposed to be.
She very well notices the stares of many people as she walks beside him through the villages they seek something in, many rumors reach her, one more ridiculous than the last. The narrow-mindedness of people amaze her and it makes her a little sad to see that the prejudice between demons and humans still isn't quite gone and that fights are still being fought over such trivialities. She receives her share of scorn too, for 'enslaving' herself like that to a youkai, some say even for lesser means, whatever that may mean, but she is now what Kagome calls a 'teenager' so she holds her head high because she belongs to her Lord and through her omnipresent kindness she quickly unintentionally makes people amend their opinion of the girl that traveled with the inuyoukai.
His ways have changed a little she remarks, he has become a little softer than she is used to when they are alone, but when Jaken joins them at a later point she feels so fulfilled because this feels just like it should, just like it always had. Her sleep is deep and dreamless again next to the pyre and its cracking and Sesshomaru-sama's regular breathing together with Jaken's snoring soundly puts her to sleep with the scent of familiarity.
She notices she has made a habit out of watching him, especially the way his eyes flick to watch her from the corner of his amber orbs just to enigmatically face forward again an few seconds after. Their trips are peaceful so far and most of they people they meet are either kind or at least respectful, but at night she enjoys travel the most, either wordlessly walking in her own thoughts or setting up camp. On rainy nights she is even allowed to snuggle her head into her Lord's lap and it always makes her giggle because his fur tickles her and she is caressed by its softness. When his hand rests warm and comfortably heavy on her side and she is rolled up against him she can't help but think that the freedom and happiness so many seek in vain maybe isn't that far, on the contrary even, too near for them to see.
She only realizes how much she has grown when one day she doesn't have to arch her neck to look Sesshomaru-sama in the eyes. It's when she understands that she is no longer a teenager, much less a child and it puzzles her because all of this is new and confusing but she doesn't think too much of it. Because it doesn't matter really, she is Rin and for him, that's all she needs to be.
She is embarrassed because apparently she isn't the only one to have noticed her changes, there are many compliments suddenly coming from everywhere baffling her because it makes her feel uncomfortable under all those stares and whispers, because truly, there are so many more beautiful women than her in every village, so why is it always her that's being fussed upon?
She stutters and stammers, barely bringing out an apology before she turns tail and runs, staggers to where Sesshomaru-sama is, hiding behind him, too scared or too baffled to speak, because why oh why did that man have to propose to her? The youkai glances at her and she tries to hide that she is scared and utterly taken aback but it isn't until later in the forest, when they are lone in the shelter of woods surrounding them that he confronts her softly with furrowed brows. She is still flushed and confused so she only manages fragments of the happening before she can spell it out properly. There is surprise in his eyes, she can see that, but he hides it after not more than a split second and draws away slowly, scanning her intently before taking her shoulder and leading her away. Don't think too much of it, he tells her as they put distance between the village and themselves.
She feels Sesshomaru-sama's gaze lingering upon her more often now and she wonders if she is doing something wrong because he has turned solemn again mostly and she doesn't know what is happening. But somehow it balances because he takes her against him more often now, supporting her when she rests her head, something that is new to her, but she doesn't dare talk lest he'd push her away or stop doing it, and because there has always been this ease in being so near to him she seeks it gently because it rekindles the trust she has in all of this and the security that soothes her.
She hadn't actually meant it seriously when she had invited him in for the bath, it had been more a halfhearted banter so she is wideeyedly baffled when he takes off his kimonoto let it glide over his shoulders. His chest bare, hip deep in the water he walks towards her holding her gaze and her cheeks redden with her eyes averted until she feels him standing right in front of her.
She is shivering, but not because the water is cold but because the kisses on her neck and light and teasing and the shivers are warm and pleasant, making her feel fluttery and weightless. The hand on her cheek is cool, soothing the warmth she radiates and igniting it still while chocolate finds amber and looks to see security and a little bit of possession mixed with an unfathomable pride and fondness. She is careful to touch him, it still seems too imaginative to grasp but he kisses her and she responds feeling him wary of her, cautious that he doesn't hurt her or do anything rash.
She doesn't know what to say when he tells her how hard it is to control himself at times when he speaks of the radiance of her beauty and the kindness of her heart but in the sincerity of his soft voice she can maybe hear a little fear, maybe, she thinks, maybe he is as afraid to lose her as much she is to be separated from him, maybe one day she will be able to admit it out loud how much she loves this man. He speaks of her as if she were a treasure all the while he leads her heart into irregular flutters and her mind a mess, trailing breaths and kisses along her neck and jaw, leaving lips longing for a little, just a little more. He gives into her will as she presses up against him flush, rising from the water and he pulls her nearer to feel the beats of her love while she completely and utterly surrenders to him and her own feelings rendering her hands caressing him, his face, his marks, his hands, his lips as he curiously eyes her in her touching.
She lifts his hand to her cheek leaning into it and because she is too happy, maybe also nervous to say anything and she smiles, a smile that in his eyes, he doesn't faze to tell her, makes her deeply desirable, his low timbre scraping something she dares to call something like deep affection lest it be actual love.
The water is warm around them, his lips are warm on hers, his hands are warm in holding her and her heart is warm in love, undaunted. He is cautious in whatever he does but it still leaves her longing and wondering, until her head is pulled towards his chest. His heartbeat is nowhere near to hers, she is nervous and fluttery but he is calm and composed and because it has always been like that she knows just how safe she is with him. She doesn't yet understand, can't really comprehend why would choose her of all persons, a human after all when he could have all the demon women at his feet. But he unmistakeably makes clear none of that is what he wants and she holds on to this strange feeling called love she now deeply cherishes.
As long as she can be, just be, be like this and not any other way, she doesn't need anything more for utter completion.
They stay the night just like usual, only it isn't just like usual. She has maybe scooted a little closer to Sesshomaru-sama and maybe he has kissed her goodnight, and maybe their hands have just by themselves and chance entwined each other as she lies against him and his shoulder supports her while the cracking of the wood, his smell, his voice and his arm around her whisk her to a contented sleep, the kind you can only have when you know you will awake to find the most wonderful thing in the world at your side. She's comfortable for one because apart from his kimono, he has discarded everything else and his armor lies unbelted, and secondly, because he whispers to her, although he probably knows she isn't asleep quite yet. She cracks open an eye to see him having his closed, but he raises an eyebrow at her movement. It's strange she thinks, for he is a demon and as such should be so different from it, but in the vast light of the moon, with his hair glistening down his back in a silver light, he seems angelic to her and as he murmurs she thinks she can never have enough from listening to his voice and the things he tells her, even if they are just few words, they mean the world to her.
Rin. My Rin.
Please do me a favour to leave me review, in just a few short words, that would be lovely, as it's the first time ever trying this style and I have no idea how you like it.