N/A: Sorry for the gramar mistakes. And this is POV Beca :D

Her.

I guess it's meant to be like this, yes, I fell in love with her, so what? Love isn't always corresponded. Even though you really love someone, you can't bound her to love you, there's nothing you can do. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just pretend you forgot her. That you don't care about her. Pretending you don't cry at night, thinking her name and then you smile in the morning as nothing happened. As you didn't feel anything.

Nothing.

That's what happens, that's what's happening, that's what will happen. That's it. That's what I should get into my head…

Nothing.

Nothing comes into my head, it's her, she doesn't get out of my head, or do I force myself to keep her on my mind? Why am I so masochist? I don't know. No one can make me feel that way, no one at all, no one can tear me down like her. Nobody can harm me as she does. Nobody can make me feel so happy. Just her.

Her.

Yes, probably I'm bipolar, perhaps I'm just in love, maybe I'm obsessed, what may I do? Forget her, yes, forget her, it isn't as easy as saying it, but… Is it really ? Is it easy to forget her? Do I want to forget her? Did I ever try to? Probably not, but something stops me.

What?

I don't know. Obsession? Perhaps, probably I had reached a point where I'm turning to her too much, to her words, smiles, glances, voice, her, all about her, depending whether she talks to me, she doesn't talk to me, or if she ignores me. Maybe it's an obsession. How can I work it out?

Can I?

Yes, I can, but I don't want to, or I do. There is always something that pushes me away from the thoughts of forgetting her, looking at her, speaking to her, or keeps me away from her. What's it? I don't know. But there's something, I'm pretty sure about that. It's likely to be herself.

Her.

Her and him, him? Do they have something? Is it important? Yes, it is, a lot, it's too important for me, more than it should be. She's always smiling at the ground when she's next to him, she's always laughing with him, besides him. We all expect them to be together. They make a nice couple. I don't like him, but she does. I met him when she sneaked into my shower… But my opinion is insignificant right now, it doesn't matter at all, because which is important is her's. Just her's. What matters' her.

Her.

Why her? I don't know, why me? I don't know, fate? Maybe, does it exist? Probably, why can't I just let it all go? The city, the country, just stay away from her? I could, but will I? Would I? Anyway I don't know.

I should.

I'm aware of all I've been through, of the years that have passed by since I've been like this, I'm aware I've had several illnesses because of her due to the lack of sleeping and feeding. I'm aware of everything, I've suffered too much. And I know I should stop this, but...

And her?

Is she aware of this? No. Because she doesn't care about me. She didn't care about me. She won't care about me. So? Why am I still punishing myself? Why do I keep writing down my feeling on a paper sheet? Why? My friends keep on telling me that I should stop it. That it's obsession. Is it? Yes.

Obsessed.

For her.

Her.

How can I stop this? How should I stop it? I can't stop talking to her, I tried to, yet I couldn't, I was just able to handle it for two weeks, I got worse, should I had kept on? Probably, no pain no gain. How much more pain I have to feel to get what I want? Because all I want is her.

Her.

Perhaps what my professor said was true. That love is just an illness, will they find the cure? Probably, we can let time run, the years, the feelings, if they will vanish someday. Will they? Probably, nothing last forever. Time fixes everything.

Time.

That's what I need: time. Time? With or without her? Without her, in order to forget her, to stop thinking about her, her blue eyes, her smile… I need time, lonelyness, a smash, or two, or none. Probably what I just need is time.

Or her.

Her.