I'm not usually a light sleeper. So why my phone wakes me up at three in the goddamn morning, I have no clue. I try my best to ignore it since it's across the room on the dresser but the noise has completely pulled me from sleep. I lift my head just high enough to look in my phone's direction but I can't see the screen from the bed. Damn whoever's calling me, why're they doing it at this hour? Can't they just wait till daylight like normal people?
The ringing stops and I drop my head back onto the pillow, my eyes immediately falling closed again. I'm not the kind of person to wake up in the middle of the night cause of a sound, I don't know why it's stirred me from sleep. I'm almost drifting off when it starts again and this time, I push the covers back before I can stop myself.
Quietly grumbling the entire time, I walk the few steps to my phone and answer the call before I press it to my ear. "'Lo?" I'm sure my sleep voice sounds about as great as I feel but I don't care. I just want to get back in bed. Should have just silenced the damn thing instead.
"D-Dash?" the other person whispers softly, their voice almost fragile on the name. I'm too exhausted to figure out where I've heard that tone before but I recognize whoever the fuck is on the other end. I just can't place the voice to a name in my sleepy haze.
I pull the phone away from my ear to check the number but I don't recognize it. And the digits are all blending together, preventing me from making sense of any of it.
Behind me, Paulina stirs on the bed and I swear under my breath before I step out of my room, pulling the door closed behind me. I don't remember when Paulina started staying over but half of her shit is at my place and I think I stopped caring at some point. She's practically my roommate now and even though she knows marriage is off the table, she still wants to be with me. Go figure.
"Yeah? Who's this?" I mumble, rubbing at my eye with one hand. It's way too early to be awake. Who the hell calls at three in the morning? The only sound I hear from the other end is a quiet sniffle and I think my eyes open fully before I ever realize who that noise belongs to.
"I-It's me," he says softly and fuck. It is him. He's calling me. After all this time apart and all the nights I wished he could just be lying next to me instead of anywhere else, he's finally on the other end of the phone. Danny's finally calling me.
"H-Hey," I whisper, darting a glance back toward the closed door to my bedroom. Shit, what the hell is he doing calling me now? It's been months, why the sudden need to talk to me? We pretty much cleared up everything between us the last time we saw each other. It was someone's birthday party. I barely remember anything other than waking up the next morning so fucking hungover cause I didn't stop drinking until I could forget his name.
Danny groans as another sniffle sounds through the phone. God, I could never take it when he cried. Still can't. Even without seeing him right now, the quiet sniffles leaving him are too much. I can't take even the sound of his tears.
"Is everything okay?" I ask hesitantly, already knowing the answer is no. If things were fine, he wouldn't be calling me at three in the morning after months of silence. Please don't be in some kind of trouble. Please be okay.
He exhales before speaking, sounding exhausted just from the effort of breathing. "N-No," he stammers out, swearing under his breath at the crack in his voice. Shit. It hurts just to hear him hurting.
"Talk to me, what's going on?" I ask, glancing over my shoulder again before I head for the front door. My shoes aren't where they're supposed to be but I don't stop to find them. Guess I'm not going any further than the balcony.
"I-It's nothing really," he says softly and I know that's not true.
I unlock the door with one hand and step out onto the balcony before pulling it shut behind me. "Bullshit. Why are you calling me so late if it's nothing?" I cross over to the railing and lean my forearms against it. "What is it?"
Danny groans and I catch the sound of shuffling on his end before he speaks again. "I-I've missed you so much," he whispers and it feels like no time has passed between us. Like we never said the things we did. Like we never took a break from being us. God, I still want there to be an us.
"I've missed you too," I respond in a whisper, my eyes falling closed. Shit, I have missed him. Every day since the one that ended in goodbye. The partners I've had that I tried to fill the ache with never worked cause they weren't Danny. No one will ever be Danny but sometimes being with a second choice is better than being alone.
I can hear every noise Danny makes and he sounds so fucking sad, it causes my chest to ache. Makes me wish for a simpler time. When things were easy between us. When he fit perfectly between my arms and I didn't have to watch his car leave Amity Park. He used to say that he loved everything about this city but he loved the people most. I wonder what it's like where he's living now. I wonder where he's living now.
"D-Dash, are you alone?" Danny asks, softly and for a second, I think he's asking because he wants to say something private. Something only I'm meant to hear but… he's calling me at 3 in the morning because he misses me. He's not asking if I'm alone in this moment. He's asking if my bed is empty of the people that will never be Danny.
A heavy exhale leaves me before I can stop it and I open my eyes to stare down at the city below me. The same city I met Danny in. Same city that saw our first kiss. Our last.
"No," I whisper, wishing against everything in me that I could say yes. I just want to tell him that I'm alone and to come back to Amity Park. To forget everything in his life for a few weeks and just come home to me. I want to fit him in my arms again and watch the way his eyes light up as he stargazes. To listen to his idle chatter during Monday night football games he only watched so he could sit next to me.
Danny lets out a shuttering sigh and if my heart was ever whole, it snaps in that moment. Because he sounds so broken and I've been fighting against feeling that way for the past eight months. Since the day things ended between us.
"I wish I was alone." I can't help the way my voice trembles on the confession and my only hope is that Danny doesn't hear it. I don't think I want him to know how horrible I've been doing since he left me and this city behind.
He groans softly and I picture his eyes squinted closed as his hand stays clenched around the phone. I picture the tears he's fighting back against and I choke over my own. I physically ache with need for him. With want for him to be in my arms again, to trail my fingers down his spine, fit him against my side, plant kisses along his hairline, listen to him talk about work, tell him-
"I-I still love you," I blurt out, pressing my clenched fist against my trembling lips as tears escape my eyes and cascade down my face. I squeeze my eyes closed tightly, trying to hold myself the fuck together as he drags in a shuttering breath.
Danny whimpers, splintering my heart into tiny shards that cut up my insides in the few seconds of silence that follow my broken confession. "I love you too… I-I love you so much, I can't… even begin to tell you h-how much I've missed you. How much I-I've needed you, Dash, I-I-" A broken sob cuts him off and he gives up on finishing his sentence. I give up on making it through this call in one piece.
"Where are you now?" I ask, my own voice stilted and forced to my own ears. I've missed him every second since he's been gone and I've wanted to go after him countless times. But he never told me where he was going, only that he was leaving.
"Los Angeles. J-Just outside of it actually," he says with a sniffle. All this time… god, he's so close.
I glance back at my front door before I push out a breath. "Can I come see you?" It's only a couple hour's drive to Los Angeles and if he's just outside the city, maybe even less.
"You're… with someone, Dash. It's not… a good idea," he says, his voice barely anything more than a broken whisper on my name. God, fuck Paulina and everyone else I've been with – Danny's the one I want. He's the one that has my heart wrapped so tightly around his finger, I'm willing to drive hours on barely any sleep to see him.
I drag in a breath, letting it out slowly. I can't let this chance slip away from me. I've wanted to see him for so long. I miss having him in my arms. I miss waking up next to him. I miss kissing him with coffee on my breath and laughing as he whines about how bitter I take my coffee. I miss him.
"Danny… please," I utter, every ounce of self-restraint pooling in my veins to keep me from fucking begging him to let me go to him.
He exhales out a shaky breath, a muffled groan sounding across the line. It's dead silent on his end for a few seconds and panic shoots through my veins at the thought that he's hung up on me. But he's still there, still dragging in one painful breath after another until he finally gives in. "Okay."
I only go back inside my apartment to put some clothes on over my boxers and grab my shoes and wallet. I'm in my car within five minutes, peeling out of the parking lot before I stab the address Danny gave me into my GPS. Directions are spat at me instantly and I weave my way through the parked cars lining the street in front of my apartment complex, headed toward the interstate.
Eight months. It's been eight goddamn months since I've seen him. Held him. Pressed my lips against him. Told him-
I grit my teeth and lean over to smash the radio dial, listening to a sad song winding down. I guess only the lonely are awake right now cause the next song that starts is depressing as fuck too. But the hum of the radio matches the glow of the hazy lights streaking past my windows so I let it play.
What's he doing right now? Is he nervously drumming his fingers the way I am against my steering wheel? Does he have the radio on? Is he tuned in to the station I am? Is he turning over every possible outcome of this? Does he still ache to touch me the way I do him?
My wandering mind does little to calm the tension in my body or the fear curled in the pit of my stomach. I want him more than I've wanted anyone or anything. I still remember the way he tasted when he kissed me in the middle of a downpour in the parking lot of Denny's at four in the goddamn morning. I remember the way his fingernails felt against my back when we were nothing more than a tangle of sweaty sheets and legs, his every moan a fucking melody to my ears. I remember wanting him and needing him and having him. Every part of him. These past eight months have done nothing to my love for him. He's still the only one I'll drive this far to see.
I double and triple check the address before I let my car crawl to a stop in a parking space in front of his apartment building. The place is weathered and looks like it's seen better days but Danny's in there. I can't care about the state of a fucking building when he's up there.
My legs and hands and every part of me is shaking as I take one step after the other, toward his place. The sun has just started to rise and it casts shadows on the ground in front of me. My stomach convulses and clenches but I don't stop myself. I keep going cause he's up there. Waiting for me. Maybe watching for me. Wondering where I am, looking out his window, thinking-
His door opens and I come to a stop in the parking lot, staring up at him. He leans against his doorframe, watching me as he lets out a breath. I'm frozen. Completely frozen just looking up at him as he looks at me and wondering if he still tastes the way he did before he left, wondering how this place has changed him, wondering how I've changed in our time away… wondering if he thinks about me the way I think about him.
Danny smiles and the trance that washed over me is suddenly broken. I'm sprinting up the stairs, and across the long stretch of porch lining the front of the apartment building, before I'm in front of him. I only hesitate a split second before I'm pulling him into my arms and against my lips.
I run my hands down his body in frantic, shaky touches, trying to assure myself that he's real. That this isn't some kind of an illusion my drunk mind is playing on me. For weeks after he left, he'd show up when I was drunk. Sometimes he'd only be there for a few fleeting moments but other times, he'd crawl into my bed and I'd hold him close against my chest. I'd always break apart in the morning when the Danny I'd fallen asleep next to turned out to be only my pillow or some stranger I never remembered taking home with me.
"D-Dash, s-slow down," Danny breathes, pulling away but not letting go of me either. He rests his forehead against my own, groaning softly. "I-I…"
I breathe out, inhaling the scent of him before I turn my head far enough to kiss his jawline. He whimpers at the feeling but he doesn't stop me as I trail kisses down his neck and across his collarbone. With every touch of my lips, I'm silently whispering my pain. I miss you. I miss us. Please don't leave me again. I need you. I love you.
Danny tangles his fingers in my hair and tugs my face up to meet his, our teeth clacking together painfully as he drags me into a needy kiss. My tongue finds entrance into the wet heat of his mouth and he moans loudly, his fingernails scraping down the back of my t-shirt. Danny… p-please.
He only breaks away to close his door before he's stumbling away from the entryway to his apartment, dragging me with him. I barely recognize the room he takes me into as his living room before he's pulling me onto the couch.
It only takes me a split second before I go back to kissing him, lapping up every broken noise that leaves his mouth because of my hands. Because of the things only I'm able to do to him. I remember everything that drove him wild and he whines beneath me as the pressure builds between the both of us.
Our clothes are abandoned on the floor and I press kisses along his collarbones and neck, leaving a hickey or two as we both wait for him to adjust to me inside of him. He moans my name softly between needy breaths and I capture his bottom lip between my teeth, completely in fucking love with the way he makes my name sound like a whispered prayer.
We set a pace and I make sure to keep it steady but slow enough that this won't end too soon. Cause I've waited so long to be with him again, I'm not rushing this. I want him to feel everything I do to him and memorize the way I taste. I want to feel his pounding heart and rising chest against my own forever. I want to watch his back arch off the couch over and over again as the heat rolls through him. I want to see the tears at the corners of his eyes and feel the ones in mine forever, knowing that we're only crying cause we've both waited so fucking long for this and now that we have it, it's almost too much for either of us to bare.
Danny's curled up against me, his back rising steadily as I lazily run my fingers through his hair. He hums softly every now and then, walking his fingers up and down my sternum in the comfortable silence we've settled into.
Somewhere in the middle of that insane fucking, we ended up on the floor. Danny managed to pull a blanket off the couch after we both caught our breath, and we're curled under it now, making art out of the way we have our bodies pressed so tightly together.
"I… really have missed you," I say, watching the way his hand stills on my chest. He hesitates a second before splaying his palm across my sternum, exhaling out heavily.
Danny turns his face toward mine and leans up to kiss the underside of my jaw, dragging out a sigh from me. "I've missed you too," he mumbles softly, easily tucking himself back against me, his head dropping onto my chest as he sighs. He goes back to walking his fingers up and down my body and I can only watch him, content to be this way forever.
He groans softly, shifting out of my arms. I instantly miss him as he props his elbow up and drops his head into his palm. "We… should really talk."
Shit. No, Danny. We don't have to do anything. We can just stay like this forever. I'll break up with Paulina and you'll be my only one again. I'll leave our city behind and come join you in this one. I'll find a job here and we'll live in a shitty apartment together. As long as I have you, that's enough for me.
I push out a breath, mirroring his position after a few long seconds of silence. I don't say anything as I meet his gaze and he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip. Shit, I don't want to have this conversation. Not if this is the one where he says this can be the only time we touch each other again. I've missed you, please don't go away from me again.
Danny draws in a breath, chewing on his words for a while before he manages to say them. "How… serious is your relationship?" he asks softly.
I've known Paulina going on three months now and we've progressed to the 'practically-living-together' stage. But she's not Danny. And my bruised, splintered heart knows it's not fair but the love I have for anyone else is like a flickering candle next to the fire raging in my veins for Danny. I like Paulina but I love Danny.
"Not serious at all," I respond, wanting to reach out and touch him again but somehow stopping myself. I don't think I'm supposed to distract him during this conversation. I have a feeling that'd wouldn't help things.
Danny exhales out, nodding as he drops his gaze from mine. I don't know if he's asking me to break up with her but I will. Even before he ever has to ask, things are over between me and Paulina. It was never my intention to hurt but… she'll never be Danny.
"Are you… gonna come back to the city?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper on the question. He stills at my question and that ache I've had for the past eight months comes out in a rush. "I-I've missed… driving past your old place. Missed having pancakes for breakfast with you. M-Monday night… football games aren't the same anymore and I ha-haven't been dancing since you left, and I-"
He cuts me off with a kiss, knocking me onto my back with the force he throws himself at me with. A breath leaves me but he captures it in his mouth, his tongue exploring my mouth this time. He trails his hands down my body, crawling on top of me in between needy kisses and splintered moans.
"D-Dash…" he whispers, his nails scraping along my jawline, dragging a moan from me. I've missed this. For eight months, I've been missing this. He's right fucking here and I still miss this. I miss waking up next to him, hearing his laughter as we watch shitty comedies at 3 in the morning over Chinese food and a bottle of cheap wine. I miss his hands on me and the way he tastes and the way he feels and-
I grab his arms to steady him as I sit up so he doesn't fall off my lap. He lets out a small squeak as I pull him closer to me, dragging him into a kiss. I can feel the heat between us again and I want nothing more than to press him flat on the ground and take him again. But this is more important.
"I… want you," I breathe, breaking away from the kiss to press my forehead against his. Danny exhales out, his breath hitching on the way in again, and I slide my arms onto his back. "Please don't make me… be without you again. I don't… think I can walk away from you again."
Danny wraps his arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. I spread my hands across his back, feeling his warm skin beneath my own, as we both try to get closer to each other. To make up for the space that's been between us for so long.
"I want you too," he mutters, his breath hitting my neck, and that's all that matters. We still want each other. I don't care if we go back to Amity Park or stay here instead, I'll do whatever he wants. Cause as long as I have him, nothing else matters and nothing can come between us again. I won't let it. It's been eight fucking months without him and I refuse to let anything tear me away from the only boy I ever gave my heart to.
A/N:
I didn't really have a clear idea of what I wanted to write for this oneshot until I was basically finished. I was just listening to Hinder's 'Lips of an Angel' and thought about these two boys and... that was all the inspiration I needed.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate any and all feedback you choose to leave :)