Long time, no see, huh? As promised, The Princess Formula is back and better than before! Unimportant rambles have been snipped, characters have been redeveloped and drafted, and the plot has been (gasp!) outlined. I'm working on updating the old chapters, and hopefully there will be new ones up soon.

Thanks a bundle for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

- Y.T.F.

I've never considered myself Disney Princess material, you know? I guess you could say my biggest problem is that I don't have the right "formula". Now, I know that sounds a bit odd. You're thinking, "A princess isn't some potion or math problem, Lil." But just let me explain.

I'm around the royals all the time, and besides the fact that they're, you know, monarchial, they have defining characteristics that set them apart from the rest. Thus, I give you what I liked to call "The Disney Princess Formula." The first on the list is looks. You know the whole spiel about how everyone is beautiful? Well, Disney Princesses have this weird way of radiating without even trying. You'd never see a Disney princess caked with cosmetics, and there's a reason for that.

Next, they're all talented in one way or another. Be it singing, cooking, painting, or a way with animals, they've got a skill to fall back on if that whole "someday my prince will come" thing doesn't work out.

And, of course, they're kind. A true Disney Princess has no problem taking care of seven little men, even if one of them is Grumpy. When life gives her abuse, she makes an optimistic song.

But when you think about it, anyone could do all that. If looking natural, having a talent and being nice was all it took, anyone could be a princess. Or at least close to one. But there's one more part, something that doesn't happen all too often. Every single Princess, from Snow White to Rapunzel, has a story.

That's how they became so well known in the first place. Had it not been for her story, Snow White would have just been some obscure princess in the Renaissance Realm who married a nameless prince. But Snow was interesting. Walt found her one day, listened to her tale of the poison apple, then boom! She got her very own documentary that turned into complete hit. Because really, who doesn't love a story about a beautiful girl, love, and the triumph of good over evil.

So there it is, the secret ingredient to the Princess Formula: a story to tell.

I don't have that. I have two parents who love me and are very much alive. I never had an evil stepmother. My hair is very blonde, but not 70-feet long and magical. I knew boys who acted like beasts, but never had any enchantments over them. My first kiss happened under the neighbor's front porch when I was twelve. His breath smelt like a sewer, but it didn't wake me from a deep sleep. All my apples are poison-free.

My one claim to fame is that I work in the first of the Magic Kingdoms, which isn't saying much nowadays. Back when Walt was still around, people used to come from far and wide to visit the place where all those people and creatures from the documentaries lived. Now there's a few kingdoms throughout Realm Twenty, the original one being in my hometown of Celebration. My job is to sweep the streets of Disneyland, making sure every inch is spotless for the Royals, the residents, and the couple dozen elderly people that stop in for nostalgia's sake.

So, as I'm sure you've gathered, I'm nothing special. I can't think of a single good reason for Princess Lavinia, the great-granddaughter of Princess Aurora and Prince Philip, to ask me to meet her in the castle tomorrow. My alarm is set to go off in three hours and I haven't slept a wink.