This is a series of What If pieces. Every chapter is a one shot, the first one is long, the rest probably won't be.
What would've happened if Jim had answered Pam's texts during Diwali?
Pam danced half heartedly to the traditional Indian music with a very nice young boy, who happened to be one of Kelly's distant cousins. She smiled at him and glanced over at the door. She gulped and became very hot suddenly as she noticed Roy enter the room. She nodded quickly at her dance partner and mumbled that she had to go, and quickly ducked out of Roy's view and headed into the hallway.
She leaned against the wall and pushed up her sleeves, trying to cool down. She felt herself breathing heavily, and she struggled to take deep breaths. She recognized this feeling immediately, as it was the same feeling she had when she called off her wedding. She tried to calm herself down, but she just felt so trapped all of a sudden. She didn't want to go see Roy, but she didn't want to go home to her empty apartment either.
She took out cell phone, thinking she was going to call her mom, but as she scrolled through her contacts, she wasn't able to get passed one individual. She brought up Jim's number and his picture popped up. She immediately felt herself ease a little. She remembered taking this picture of him. They had just finished pranking Dwight, and he swiveled towards her and gave her one of his famous Jim smirks, and she snapped the picture.
Her finger lingered over the keypad, and she decided to send him a text. After all, she was at an office function on a Friday night with Michael and Dwight. He would want to hear about this. She paused, thinking hard about what to write.
"Hey Jim, it's Pam…"
She deleted that, of course he knew who it was, it would come up with her number.
"Hey, you'll never guess where I am right now.."
She deleted once more, too long. What if he didn't respond?"
"Hey, I hope everything is good in Stamford. The office isn't nearly as fun. Give me a call or something if you want to talk. Pam"
It wasn't the message she expected to write, but it felt really satisfying. She quickly sent it before she would chicken out.
"Who are you texting?" Angela broke Pam's silence
Pam swallowed, feeling as though she'd been caught doing something embarrassing. "No one." She replied quietly. Pam tucked her hair behind her ears and went to look for her shoes.
Jim's head slumped on the desk. It felt like it weighed a ton. The room spun as he sat still. Andy's voice rang into his head, and seemed to cloud it even more.
"Ugh, Andy, no a capella." Karen sighed from behind Jim.
Jim agreed with her, but somehow found himself singing along with him anyways. He heard himself singing the Indigo Girls, and the small portion of his brain that was still capable of sober thought cursed him.
Karen rolled her eyes, but just went back to work.
Jim finished singing and allowed himself to fall back into a semi-conscious state. All of a sudden he was awoken by a soft sound and buzzing by his arm. He blinked his eyes a couple of time, but couldn't shake the cloudiness. He picked up his cell phone and flipped it open. He tried to focus on the screen, but it was almost too blurry to comprehend. Just as he was going to shut it, and vow to read it later, a name jumped out him. "Pam." He immediately sobered up a tinge and got to his feet.
"Halpert, where are you going?" asked Andy. "I need you for the two part harmony."
"Hall" Jim managed to mumble as he shuffled out the door.
He held the phone with two hands and commanded his brain to read the text.
"Hey, I hope everything is good in Stamford. The office isn't nearly as fun. Give me a call or something if you want to talk. Pam"
He made himself read it three more times, to make sure he wasn't just reading what he wanted it to say in his drunken state. When he was sure that it was real, he opened the phone and thought about what to text back.
He concentrated on the phone. All he wanted to do was be honest with her, to tell her that he still loved her and that everywhere he looked, he was reminded of her. When he rides the elevator he thinks of the time that they purposely pulled the emergency stop button and took a three hour lunch in there. Whenever he sees a stapler, he's reminded of the day they completely devoted to slowly putting staples in Dwight's hair, and the look on her face when Dwight finally noticed. He couldn't escape her, and it was complete agony, but it was the kind of pain he would never wish away. It was his torture and his treasure.
The alcohol flowing through him encouraged him to run with that honesty.
He slowly punched into his phone; "Pam, I really miss you. If you wanted me to come back I would. Everything I said to you on Casino Night is still true. I love you."
Jim sent the message happy with what it said. Or at least what he thought it said.
Pam's heart began to pound as she heard the familiar beeping that signaled a new text message. She eagerly opened her phone.
"Pm. H strly mgpp woi. Ow wih wankfde ac to tome qaci I guoud. Edfjkethy I ajfds jastias sjfituth tthawo. I lubb uou."
Pam tried to decipher the message again. Was it possible that he was using some sort of code? What was he trying to say? Was he drunk? She figured it must be the latter. She suddenly felt stupid for texting him. He was out, having a good time. She probably just ruined his night.
Jim waited for a text message back. He sat in the hall and pulled his knees to his chest and allowed the room to spin around him. After about 15 minutes he began to lose hope that she would respond.
"Hey stranger." Karen peaked her head around the corner. "How you feeling?"
"A little lost at the moment actually."
"Aw, why?"
"Well, I just…" Jim hesitated. "you know what, never mind."
Karen sat down next to him. "No, what is it?"
Jim shrugged. "I just sent a text message and was expecting some sort of reply."
"A drunken text message? Oh Halpert, are you 19? Let me see it," Karen said.
"Ok." Jim opened his phone and began to push buttons. "Um, I don't think its working. I can't really remember…" He mumbled.
Karen giggled, "Give the phone idiot."
Jim sighed "those are hurtful words Filipeli." He joked as he handed her the phone.
Karen searched his messages and laughed, "You really are an idiot." She flipped the phone towards Jim, "Look what you wrote!"
Jim focused his eyes on his text and his gibberish stared back at him. "wow. I am an idiot."
Karen smiled and patted his arm. "Who were you trying to text?"
Jim hesitated, "Just a friend. I just needed to tell them something."
Karen shrugged, "you can always tell them tomorrow right?"
Just then, Andy burst into the hallway, "you guys! Hurry, I'm changing the answering machine message! I need your harmonies!"
"Oh geez" Karen got to her feet. "I'm going to go take care of that." She walked back into the office.
Jim sat still for a minute in silence. "No." he spoke out loud. "I need to tell her now."
Pam walked outside and sat on the steps of the building. The night was cooling down quickly, but the cool air was helping her think more clearly. She was about to head back inside to collect her things, when her phone started to ring. Her heart sped up and she looked around her to make sure that nobody was around.
"Hello?" She answered cautiously
"Pam!"
"Hey Jim, how are you?" She asked, twisting a strand of hair in her fingers.
"Pam it's Jim!"
Pam laughed, "I know! How are you? It sounds like you're at a party or something."
"No, actually I'm still at the office."
"Oh. Wait, but…you're drunk."
"Only a little. Don't ask."
Pam giggled.
"I got your text. It was really good to hear from you…or read from you or whatever."
Pam laughed again, suddenly feeling completely at ease. "Yeah, um…I got your text too."
"Sorry about that. I meant for it to be real words."
There was an awkward pause where nobody spoke. After a minute, they both began at the same time.
"It's really good to hear your voice.." She began
"I miss you" He said.
They both laughed a little. Then Jim spoke up, "I kind of miss Scranton."
"Scranton misses you." Pam said. "Do you ever think about coming back?"
Jim paused, "sometimes. Mostly when I talk to you."
Pam smiled, "It's weird, it feels like I moved too. It just doesn't seem like home anymore."
"I should come home" Jim mumbled.
Pam was caught off guard at that. "What?"
"Go." Jim corrected, "I should go home."
"Oh." Pam said, "Yeah, I should go too. It was really good to hear from you Jim. I'll talk to you soon okay?"
"Yeah definitely. Bye Pam."
As Pam hung up the phone, her eyes began to tear involuntarily, but she also began to smile. This was the affect Jim had on her. It was so bittersweet. She loved talking to him, but now she wanted to see him, be with him. She dried her eyes quickly as she saw Michael approaching her.
"Hi Pam." Michael said softly
Pam immediately knew something was wrong if Michael was calling her by her real name, not Pamera, or Pamalama ding dong, or something equally obnoxious.
"Hi Michael. What's wrong?"
Michael sighed, "Carol said no."
Pam looked at the camera, "No to what.." she said fearing the worst.
"To my proposal!" Michael said as he began to cry.
Pam's eyes went wide and she sat down next to him. "It's okay Michael. You're probably just moving too fast for her.
"Oh Pam." Michael interjected, "Sometimes when it's right you just know it. Then it doesn't matter how fast you go."
Pam was quiet. "That's true. But is that really how you feel about Carol?"
Michael shrugged. "I don't know."
Michael looked at Pam for a minute. He slowly began to lean in.
Pam, who was lost in thought, only noticed Michael when he was inches from her face. "What are you doing?" She shrieked!
"What?" Michael asked innocently, "what are you doing?"
Pam looked at him, "I'm rejecting your kiss."
"Uh" Michael looked down and moved away from her, "ok. Can I have a ride home?"
Pam looked at the camera and gave a very Jim like shrug, "If you sit in the back."
Jim walked back into the office and began putting all his belongings in his messenger bag. He saw that Karen had already left, but he had to get home. He walked his bike out of the office as he mumbled a goodbye to Andy who was already snoring on his air mattress. Once he got outside, he got on his bike to ride home, but he immediately fell over. A voice broke through the air:
"Hey dummy! Get in the car!" Karen got out of her car and went to help Jim with his things.
"I'm a drunk driver" he mumbled
Karen smirked, "Yes you are. Do you want to sit in the back?"
Jim shook his head, "I'll be okay. I need to show you how to get to my home."
Karen laughed, "Okay. Climb in Halpert."
Jim got into the passenger seat next to her. "Thank you Karen. You're a good friend."
Karen winced a little at his deliberate use of the word 'friend'. "No problem."
They drove in silence, with the exception of the radio playing gently in the background. After about a half an hour Karen spoke up, "Geez Jim, how far away do you live?"
Jim, who had had his eyes closed, turned towards her and mumbled, "Scranton's far."
Karen looked at him, "Jim, you want me to take you to Scranton?"
Jim nodded, "I have to go home."
"Jim, you live here now. Why don't you let me take you to your apartment."
Jim shook his head, "I have to go see Pam."
"Who's Pam?" Karen asked
Jim smiled, unaware of how to answer such a simple question; "Pam is the Scranton branch receptionist."
"Oh-"
"but she's also…I don't know. Amazing I guess."
Karen was quiet for a minute, "Oh, were you guys like…dating?"
"No, she was engaged. But she's not anymore. I have to go talk to her."
"Wait" Karen said slowly. "Are you going to like…proclaim your love to her?"
Jim didn't say anything
"You seriously asked me to drive you almost 3 hours so that you can go tell another girl that you love her?"
Jim sat up, beginning to sober up, "I didn't ask you to drive me anywhere!"
Karen sighed, "Jim, I think I've made it pretty clear how I feel about you."
Jim swallowed
"Let's just put it out there" Karen continued, "I like you. I know it, and you know it and I think that it is kind of insensitive of you to make me drive you to another girl's house so you can tell her that you love her."
"Karen," Jim started slowly, apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I think you're amazing, and if I wasn't completely in love with Pam, you would be an awesome catch."
Karen blinked away tears and nodded.
Jim shook his head, "you know what? I am being insensitive. I'm sorry. You don't need to drive me to Scranton."
Karen looked over at him. "Do you want me to turn around?"
Jim shook his head, "no, I need to go. But just pull into the next rest stop, I'll call a cab."
"Jim, it's okay. You don't need to take a cab. You're drunk."
"Honestly, I'm not even that drunk anymore. I just need to go. It's okay. You should go back."
"Are you sure?" Karen asked, "If I hear that you're dead in a gutter somewhere, that will be on my conscious."
Jim smiled. "I am hereby relieving you from all guilt if I am dead by tomorrow morning."
Karen gave a weak smile. "Okay then." She pulled into a gas station and let Jim dial the cab station.
After a few minutes, Karen had to speak up. "Jim?"
"Yeah?"
"What is it about her?"
Jim smiled, "I honestly can't decide. She's got such a great sense of humor. She's vulnerable, but there's a strength in her that she doesn't really know about. She's got the most beautiful dreams. She has the innocence and curiosity of a child, with the guidance and wisdom of somebody much older." Jim's eyes wandered out the window. "She doesn't know what a good person she is, and she needs me to show her."
Karen let one tear spill out her before wiping it away quickly.
"Oh God, Karen I'm sorry. Maybe I am still a little drunk." Jim said as he patted her arm.
"No, it's okay. It's just really beautiful. I hope I get to be somebody's Pam one day."
Jim leaned over and hugged her. "You deserve to be." Just then a cab pulled into the parking lot. "That's for me. I've gotta go. Bye Karen. Thank you."
Karen nodded. "Bye Jim, good luck."
Jim got out of the car and walked towards the cab. Karen rolled down her window and called after him. "Hey Jim"
He turned and looked at her.
"Can you tell Pam I say 'hi'."
Jim gave her one of his famous looks.
She smiled weakly, "I know she doesn't know who I am, but I figure she's the kind of person I'd want to say hi to."
Jim smiled. "Absolutely I will."
Pam pulled into her driveway after she had dropped off Michael. She didn't know what it was about him, but whenever she spent one on one time with him, she just left feeling exhausted. She walked into her house and let her bags drop on the floor around her. She put her hair up into a messy bun and opened the fridge to find something to eat. There had been food at the Diwali celebration, but nothing really appealed to her. Out of habit she reached for a yogurt, but as she held it in her hands images of him flooded her memory. There he was putting a yogurt lid medal around her neck. He was walking up to her and telling her that the yogurt she was about to eat had expired.
Pam sighed deeply and thrust the yogurt back into the fridge more violently than she'd expected. Suddenly, she'd lost her appetite. She walked upstairs and put on her comfy pajamas. The ones that Roy hated, but Jim loved. He'd seen her in these pjs once, when she was sick. She climbed into bed, but regretted it immediately because she knew that now that she was in bed, there was no way she was getting up to turn off the lights or wash up. She let her eyes shut heavily and tried her best to will away her unsettled stomach.
Jim sat in the back of the cab, completely sober, and beginning to feel foolish for coming. It was late, after midnight. He was sure that Pam's house would be locked up and dark, with her sleeping soundly inside. Nonetheless he continued to give the driver directions to her new apartment, the address which he'd received from Kevin after he found out she hadn't married Roy.
As the cab pulled in to her driveway, Jim was surprised to see all the lights in her house on. If the lights are all on, she was probably still up, but he decided to call first anyways.
Pam awoke groggily to the sound of her cell phone ringing in the next room.
"I swear to God if that's Michael…" She mumbled as she rolled out of her bed. As she looked at her phone and saw who was calling, she immediately woke up.
"Hello?" She answered happily
"Hey" Jim's relaxed voice replied, "I didn't wake you up did I?"
"Totally!" Pam replied happily
Jim laughed, "What? I did? I'm sorry!"
Pam laughed to herself and shook her head out of embarrassment, "Oh I meant to say 'no', but 'totally' came out."
"Oh man, I'm sorry!" Jim said as he smiled broadly.
"No, it's okay! I'm glad you called"
Jim smiled and spoke a little more slowly as he rang her doorbell. "I saw the lights on and figured you were up."
Pam, distracted by the doorbell, barely heard him. "Hold on Jim, somebody's at my door." As she was walking towards the door it slowly dawned on her. "Wait, you saw my lights on? Are you-" As Pam walked down the stairs, she saw Jim standing at her front door, with a classic grin on his face.
Pam's eyes grew wide and she closed her cell phone as she opened the door. She stood in stunned silence as Jim said, "Hey Beesley, you just hung up on me!"
Before he could say anything else Pam reached out, grabbed his collar, and pulled him down to her in a passionate kiss.
Jim was shocked, but it didn't take him long to melt into Pam and embrace her. He cupped her face with his hands, and then slowly moved his arms to around her back. When they finally broke apart he lifted her in the air and laughed. "That's what I consider a warm welcome!"
Pam laughed, still lifted by Jim's strong arms. "I figured it was my turn to do that."
Pam ushered Jim into her apartment. She stood a few feet away from him, suddenly aware she was in her pajamas. "So.,." she started
"So.." he repeated, "What am I doing here?"
Pam shrugged, "I mean, you're always welcome, but…yeah."
"I don't know. I just felt like I needed to see you. I mean, after talking to you on the phone, I just wanted to go home, but I don't have a home in Stamford. You're my home Pam."
Pam looked serious for a minute. "Jim I'm so sorry, I should never have been with Roy. He isn't good for me." She let out a breath, the weight of all the words she'd been keeping inside her flowing out easily now. "You have no idea how much I missed you! I wanted to talk to you everyday. You're my best friend!"
Jim took her hands, and led her into a hug. "Pam it's ok now. We're here together now, let's just focus on that."
Pam smiled and buried her face in his shoulder. She felt so safe when she was with him.
"So" Jim said, still holding Pam in an embrace, "How was your day?"
"Eh." Pam said, looking up into Jim's face. "Pretty good, Michael proposed to Carol, and then tried to kiss me."
"Wait, what??" Jim asked separating from her.
Pam laughed, "Oh Jim, there's so much to tell you!"
Jim smiled and led her over to the couch where they sat facing each other, and talked the entire night through.