I am truly sorry for the typo's that you are about to discover for me.
Once you have read, please take a moment to give me a little bit of feedback, however good, bad or long/short you want it to be.
Please also note that I have never been through a miscarriage, and I do not know anyone that has, so there will probably be some errors in here. Don't penalise me for those, please.
Summary: Elle and Morgan suffer a terrible loss that they never saw coming. Adult themes, warning. One-Shot
Not As Simple As It Seems
"Where is she?" Elle asked, furiously pointing at the woman's picture another time.
"I told you. I. Do. Not. Know." A man in an orange jumpsuit said, glaring at her with such hatred that she could not help but shiver and shy away from it. Letting Hotch take the lead.
"We know what you did to her. The beatings every night. The drinking. The rape." He spat each word out with venom. "And then, it was not enough for you. You needed to go that little further to get release. So you stuck a knife in her and hid her away from us."
"No!" Bates, the inmate shouted.
"What? Was it an axe instead? Chop her into tiny pieces?" Hotch could tell he was pressing on a nerve, but not enough, not yet. "Did you strangle her? Hold you hands so tightly around her neck that you eventually killed her?" Fury flashed in Bates' eyes.
"I never did that!" He denied it.
"Then tell me, tell me exactly what you did!" He never answered, and, unbeknown to the two BAU agents in the room, he began slipping his cuffs off, not caring if it hurt like nothing he had felt before. He had to stop her…
The way she walked in, it was too confident. Her job? Not a woman's job at all. She needed to be taught a lesson, and he would do it.
"Tell us what you did to Mary Bates… Take credit for the work you finally done. We will let everyone know." Elle now stepped back in, sensing it was okay to do so.
"I never… I never did any of that." He said, a small smirk falling onto his face.
"Then tell us what you did do to her." Hotch glared at him.
"She splashed around, for a few minutes, and eventually… stopped." A laugh fell from his face and Elle felt sick to her stomach.
"Where is her body?" She asked.
"In a place I knew no one would ever find it." Bates began laughing menacingly as he finally got the handcuffs off, now it was just a waiting game.
"Where is she?" Elle leaned over the table, to attempt to intimidate her, but he felt he had the upper hand. This was his interview and he had all of the control.
"I dumped her. Tied bags of sand and bricks to her feet and watched her sink to the bottom of the parks pond." The grin on his face was disgusting.
"What park?" She leaned, ever so closer.
"Sefton Park."
That was all they needed to know, standing up, Hotch called the buzzed on the gate as Elle gathered the sheets of paper and photos from the table in front of them. Sliding them all back into the file.
Peering out of the metal gates, he saw no guards around and began to panic. Then everything happened like a blur.
Elle picked the brown folder up and placed it into her arms, pushing the chair in with her leg, she looked to see where the hell the guards were. Tentatively biting her bottom lip when she saw Hotch's same anxious expression. Then she heard it, a shuffle of the chairs. She felt as she was pushed into the corner of the table, then thrown into the wall behind her. Falling, helplessly onto the concrete ground. In fear, she watched as he brought his leg backwards and kicked her, once in the ribs. Waiting for that second kick, she covered her eyes with her arm but it never came. Instead she heard a gun shot. Was it Bates? Did he grab her gun and shoot Hotch? Was it one of the guards? Or had Hotch drawn his own weapon and taken the malicious son of a bitch out right there and then?
The gates buzzed and opened as guards began pouring into the cell, then she heard it, a cry of:
"Call an ambulance!" It was far too muffled for her to even analyse if Hotch had said it.
Her sides ached an unbelievable pain, so, as a result, Elle let out a groggy groan as she felt a shadow loom over her. Reaching on instinct for her, gun, she fumbled, never getting it out of it's holster, but it was there.
"Elle, sshh, it's me. It's Hotch. Don't panic. An ambulance is on it's way." As she met Hotch's eyes, she began to frantically shake her head.
"No, no, no." She tried to sit up. "I'm fine."
"No, Elle. You really aren't." Hotch told her, letting Elle use his arm for support to help herself stand up.
There was only a brief moment of Elle fully standing up, before she hunched over, loud cry of pain leaving her mouth. Frantically, her hand grabbed a hold of Hotch's arm once again, steadying herself. Instinctively, Hotch wrapped his arm around her waist, preventing her from falling back onto the floor. Half dragging her, he carefully helped her onto one of the chairs.
Another groan of pain escaped her mouth as her arm wrapped tighter around her waist; her stomach literally knotting beneath her hand.
"Elle, talk to me, tell me what hurts?"
Letting out an amused laugh, that was soon lost as she moaned in pain again, Elle's brain commented sarcastically that everything frickin' hurt. But no words left her mouth.
"Elle. Just take a deep breath, and tell me." He coached her slightly, letting her try and take as deep a breath as she could in, and then breathe a soft one back out. Another time, before she finally spoke.
"My ribs. My stomach." She winced out again.
Hotch replied with a slight nod, and smoothed the hair over her head, before standing up.
"I am just going to see where the ambulance is, okay?" Noticing her nervous twitch, that had nothing at all to do with the pain inside her body, he gave her a small, reassuring smile. "He is dead. Do not worry." He told her, letting his own eyes fall onto the body on the floor, that the police officers were gathering around. "He's gone, and he won't hurt you. Officer Dane here is going to keep an eye on you, just for a moment." His hand rested on her arm, in some way of comforting her.
"Sure." The words barely came out, as Hotch realised just how fast he needed to get back. Another rub of his thumb over her arm, before he zipped out of the room to check the status of both of the ambulances.
Elle never looked up, to see the frantic goings on in the corner. Nor did she glance at Hotch as she left. Her eyes never once met the looks of concern passed from Officer Dane. Instead, her right hand clung to the metal bar of the chair, and her left hand lay, tightly on top of her stomach, feeling the immense pain from underneath it. Consciously, she chewed at her lower lip, stopping herself from crying out as each new pain over whelmed her with more pain than the last. The brunette never noticed that Hotch was back; she was so focused in her own thoughts of what could be wrong, and she gave a small jump as she felt that thumb rubbing back at her arm.
"Has the pain died down?" He questioned, brushing a small strand of her hair out from her face and tucking it behind her ear. Intimate. The action screamed. But neither noticed, due to the pained expression Elle gave. Hotch analysed, and could tell it was only getting worse. "Elle, you need to breath through the pain, you'll feel a lot better if you do, okay?" The brunette nodded, yet did not let the breath out until the pain passed. "It's getting more painful?" He asked, and she gave another nod, the only form of communication she could give him was in her facial and head gestures. "Okay, the ambulance will be here any moment now. Just calm down."
One hand still rubbing at her right arm that was clutching the chair. His other hand fell to her back, to rub the lower level of her back. "Just breathe." He coached, once again, until the all to familiar ambulance sound came, and a moment later, paramedics raced into the room. One team raced to the already dead man on the floor, as a woman came around to Elle's other side.
"Agent Greenaway?" She asked, carefully looking into the brunette's watery eyes. "I need you to tell me exactly what you are feeling." She almost begged of her.
Hotch's thumb carried on its rhythmic rubbing, in an attempt to assure her that he was there.
"Umm… My ribs, they ache a bit… and they kill when I breath in too deep." The paramedic nodded, noting why her breathing was short and laboured. "And… my stomach." There was a pause, in which Elle could not hold back her yelp of pain as her hand pressed tighter into the flat surface beneath it.
"Agent Greenaway?" The paramedic asked, seeing the pain inside of her. "Alright, get a gurney." She called to one of the other officers behind here, that was still fumbling over the dead body of Bates.
"Right away." Darting out of the room, the blonde paramedic turned her attention back to Elle who was in the throws of another pain.
"I can walk." She grumbled, although she was gasping for breath.
"No, Elle, let them bring the gurney in here and take you." Hotch protested, and looked at the paramedic as she nodded.
"We don't want to aggravate whatever injury you have." Her hand rubbed on Elle's shoulder. "Now I need you to tell me what that was, what were you feeling?" She asked.
"Um… Just a very bad pain. Like my stomach is cramping." She informed her, and the paramedic looked a little more concerned.
"Like, period kind of cramps, or something a little worse?" She asked, having to be exactly sure of what the woman's pain threshold was. Knowing, this may be common for her, but she could not take it.
"A ton worse." Elle grimaced again, as the gurney was wheeled into the room.
"Okay, just breath." Now she had Hotch and the paramedic trying to show her how to look after herself.
A moment or so later, she felt the pain leave her body.
"No, it's gone. I'm fine now." There was a small nod from the paramedic, who glanced at Hotch to help her a little bit, and they both, with as much carefulness as they could manage, got her standing and over to the gurney.
Thanks to Elle's less than realistic weight, Hotch was able to lift her so she was sitting on the gurney with ease, mentally making a note to feed her a little more and a little more often when they were away on cases. The paramedic helped Elle lay back down on the plastic covered material bed, and lay her head on a oxymoronic pillow, that was fluffy and a little too luxurious. Carefully, rolling onto her side to ease the pain, Elle grimaced as another pain over took her body as the thin blanket was wrapped over her.
"I assume you're coming, Agent Hotchner." He gave a nod and followed as they wheeled her through the police station and out into an ambulance. "Okay, you get in the back with her then." She said, letting him climb in and sit on the bench facing the gurney. Her hand reached out and held onto his.
"I am here, Elle. I'm not going away unless you want me too." Elle nodded, and began to curl into herself a little tighter and gripped his hand harder. "Sshh." He let his other hand run around her back and began rubbing softly.
The sirens sounded and Hotch had known they were breaking every speed limit there was. To prove the point, they arrived at the hospital only moments later.
"We're here, okay, we're here." Hotch placed a comforting kiss on the back of her hand before looking to the doors as they were pulled open.
"Alright, Agent Hotchner, we're going to take Elle through to ER. You will need to wait in the waiting room until we get the all clear." Reluctantly, Hotch peeled Elle's hand away from his and wiped over her clammy forehead with it.
"I'm going to be in the waiting room. Okay?" She did not nod, but he knew she was okay with it, as he left the ambulance and waited for the gurney to pass before whispering to the blonde paramedic: "I am just going to make a phone call or two out here, then I guess I just follow the signs to the waiting room." She gave a nod.
"I will come and get you as soon as she's ready and checked over. Only, I think this might get a little too close to comfort for her, around a man and everything, especially her boss." He nodded, understanding completely.
"Of course. Just take good care of her." She nodded and began to follow them through the door as they wheeled the gurney in.
Hotch waited for the doors to close before pulling his cell from his pocket, and dialling the familiar number for Jason Gideon.
"Gideon." Came the older man's voice, and Hotch could immediately tell he was busy.
"It's Hotch." He informed him.
"Hey, Hotch. How did the interview go?" Gideon asked.
"Um… Fine, I guess. We got the location out of him… but he is dead." There was a slight bit of guilt in his voice, and Gideon could tell he had shot him.
"What did he do?" Gideon sounded a little on edge.
"I should have realised. Checked his handcuffs were on tighter."
"Hotch, Hotch, what did he do?" Gideon repeated, breaking through the rambling of the younger profiler.
"He… He grabbed her. Pressed her against the wall. Kicked her." A small sigh came over the phone.
"Elle?" Of course it was, it was a dumb question.
"Yeah, she's been in a lot of pain. They've just taken her into the E.R."
"Is she going to be okay?" Gideon asked, and Hotch could hear shifting, like he was packing away his files, ready to get the flight out.
"She did not seem to be too good." A groan left Gideon's mouth.
"I'll be over as soon as I can be." Gideon told him, "I'll tell the other's, don't worry." Then the phone hung up.
Over at the BAU, Gideon began to grab his go-bag when a knock came at his office door. Turning to face the already open wood, he saw blonde JJ standing there, a case in her hand.
"No now. Really. Not now. I need to fly out to meet Hotch and Elle." That was all JJ needed to leave this case lying for another few days.
"Why, what's wrong? What has happened?" She took a step closer to the desk that was separating them.
"Bates got out of his handcuffs… apparently Elle is in pretty bad shape." He told her, straight.
"I'll have everyone ready for the jet in twenty." He gave a nod.
"The jet's free?" Now JJ gave a light nod.
"Hotch and Elle decided to drive out, remember. I'll just go and fill in the team." Gideon waited a moment, watching as all of their agents piled into the meeting room. Without him, Hotch and Elle, it was quite a small group of people. Only JJ, Reid, Morgan and Garcia.
"We got a case, JJ?" Morgan asked, as he sat down. "Don't we need to call Hotch and Elle?" He questioned.
"That's why we're here… There's been an accident at the meeting. All we know is that Elle seems to be in bad shape. Jet in twenty." Her emotions got the better of her as she speed walked out of the room and back into her quiet office, taking a calming breath.
A niggling part of her hoped Elle was perfectly fine, told her she was, and it was just a bump. But if it was, why were they all flying out? This was serious.
As they clambered into the hospital corridor, an hour and a half later, Jason Gideon spotted Hotch waiting on a chair. No words were spoken as Gideon started walking, all of them just following him like a herd of lost sheep. One by one, they all sat down next to him. Morgan, trying his best to comfort Garcia, who had just begun crying. JJ looked like she had been crying too, but now she had stopped, knowing that if she broke down, it was going to be no help to Elle. Reid looked a little worse for wear. His hair a tangled mess from where he had fumbled with it repeatedly on the flight and drive to the hospital. Morgan's face, however, showed no emotion what so ever, and no one could see what he was feeling inside; his heart tearing into two. Elle was hurt. His Elle. The very Elle he had sex with three months ago. The Elle he never mentioned that incident too. That Elle that fitted in perfectly with his own body as he held her close.
"Have you heard anything?" Jason Gideon asked, and for the first time, Hotch looked up, shaking his head.
"They brought her in over an hour ago, what the hell is taking so long?" It was clear to everyone around him that he was angry, no, understatement. Furious, about what happened to Elle. How the hell had it happened under his watch?
"What happened?" JJ asked, and Hotch now turned to look at her, and his anger at himself died slightly, seeing her red, puffy eyes.
"We we're interviewing him, and he gave us the location. So I got up and rang the buzzer to be let out, but apparently he had timed telling us, and knew when the officers were changing shift. I couldn't stop him in time. The handcuffs weren't on tight enough, and he slipped out of them, hitting her and pushing her against the wall, when she fell to the floor in pain he began kicking her… after the first kick I shot him."
Everyone let out a defeated breath. Then it dawned on them all, at least she was not shot or stabbed.
"Did she pass out?" Garcia asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"No. She was in a lot of pain though. She kept trying to cover it up, but it was obvious how much pain she was in." Garcia gave him a nod.
"Her ribs?" Gideon asked.
"She said they were hurting some, but apparently, her stomach was cramping, a lot." Everyone froze after Gideon gave a nod, trying their best to figure out what exactly was wrong with her.
Before anyone could voice their theory, the doors opened and out walked the paramedic that Hotch knew from the ambulance.
"Is she okay?" He asked, before anyone could even realise she was there for them.
All of their eyes fell onto her uniform which had a splatter of blood on. Whether it was Elle's or someone else's from earlier, they could not tell.
"She is going to be okay." A collective group of sighs left the team.
"What was wrong with her?" Gideon asked, and she looked at him. Before she could ask who he was, Hotch told her:
"He is her boss." The woman nodded.
"She… um…" Her eyes looked up to the ceiling. "Agent Greenaway has managed to get two bruised ribs… hence all of the pain." She bit her lower lip.
"But she said her stomach." Hotch prompted.
The woman's eyes fell to the floor and the team could tell there was something she was not saying.
"Unfortunately, that is all I can tell you at the minute. We're going to keep her in overnight for observation. She told me to tell you to go home." Her eyes avoided looking into any of the team members'.
"If it is just bruised ribs, why are you keeping her over night?" Reid asked, and she finally looked up to meet his eyes.
"Look, she really does not want me saying anything. I have said all I can, and…" She just gave a shrug.
"Can you at least tell her we're here? Maybe she will let someone else see her?" The paramedic gave a small nod.
"I will tell her, who shall I say?" She asked, looking to meet Morgan's heart broken eyes.
"Just tell her the whole team is here." The paramedic nodded and they watched as she walked back though the double doors.
There was a long pause of silence, when no one dared look at each other, after the doors closed, but it was soon cut as JJ asked:
"What the hell aren't they telling us?" She gave a sigh, and finally looked to meet everyone's eyes. "They need to tell us anyway, we've got to do the paperwork on it." JJ huffed.
The doors opened once again, and back out came the paramedic, they all looked to her.
"She asked if she could see a JJ and Garcia?" The paramedic informed them.
JJ automatically stood up, as if she was expecting it all along. Garcia, on the other hand, looked up in shock, before rising to her feet and giving Derek's hand a squeeze.
"Why don't you guys go to the hotel? We'll call if we need you." Hotch gave JJ a small nod as they turned and followed the blonde paramedic.
Her hand found one of Garcia's as she tightly held it, the voluptuous woman wiped her eyes softly with another hand as JJ rubbed her back.
"Garcia, I know it's going to be hard for you, but Elle really doesn't need to see you crying right now." Garcia gave a slight nod and a forced smile.
"I know, and I'm sorry." Giving a shake of her head, JJ showed her that she understood why she was upset.
They came to a stop outside of the elevator as they waited for it to arrive on their floor, and, when it finally did, they watched as she pressed the button for floor three. Checking up against the sign that was right next to the button panel, JJ read that they were going to the maternity floor.
"Maternity?" She asked, and the paramedic as she gave a nod.
"Afraid so. They've just moved her up here." Her voice was slightly solemn and they could tell they were going to see something not too happy. As silence filled, they could tell that there was something she needed to tell them. The elevator arrived at the floor and they left when the doors opened, following her towards a room. Then she began talking again.
"Okay, I need to tell you now. It seems that the incident has triggered a miscarriage for Agent Greenaway." Garcia gasped, and JJ gave a nod. "Now there is nothing we really can do, nature just needs to take it's course. We offered her some pain killers, but she has refused to take them. She is wired up to a monitor, that will spike every contraction she will go through. It will only get worse, and then, when she has finally lost the baby, her stomach will settle down, and she should feel a hell of a lot better."
JJ glanced at Garcia who was trying her best to calm her tears before entering to see Elle.
"Now, it took some convincing, but I would most like it if you just sat in there and kept her distracted. The likelihood is she won't be going to sleep tonight." JJ gave another nod.
"Just talk to her? Shall we try to convince her to take the pain meds?" The paramedic gave a sigh.
"It is not crucial that she take them, but it would make her more comfortable, so yes, if at any point through the evening she wants them, you can tell one of the nurses on this floor and they know just to administer them." Letting out a small sigh, JJ wiped a hand over her face.
"Alright. Does she seem upset, or… what?" She questioned.
"She seemed a little shell shocked, but we presume that's because she did not know about the baby, but, she is likely to get upset at some point… I do not know when that is. And she will not let us contact her boyfriend."
"Okay, that is fine. We'll work on that." They watched as the paramedic put her hand to open the door.
"But if she doesn't want to talk about it, don't pressure her. It really did take her some convincing for her to let you two in here, so she is going to be far from open." Another nod from JJ told the paramedic that now was time to open the door, and when they did, no one said a thing.
With her back too the door, they saw Elle curled up on the bed, a pale pink blanket ruffled around her. The bit of cheek they could see was flushed and slightly sweaty. Her hair was now tied back into a pony tail, but it was obvious it had just been thrown into one as the ends were tatted and it was a mess quite frankly. The bangs she could not tie back were sticking all around her face. A slight whimper came from the small bundle in the bed, and they could tell she was obviously in pain from the tightening of her body and the monitors raise in the corner of the room.
Two chairs were placed at the side of the bed and both of the blondes knew they were set out for them. How long they were staying for, they had no idea. It was JJ that made the first move into the light brown room, walking over to the bed, and letting Penelope follow her. Penelope sat down on the seat closest to the door, leaving JJ over on the opposite side, facing where Elle was turned.
"Elle." JJ's voice came through quiet, timid. Like she was treading carefully over everything she was saying. "Elle." She repeated, this time settling into the chair. Her fingers splayed as she rested them on top of Elle's bare arm. JJ noted the way Elle's hand clung tightly to the clump of pink blanket, her eyes were squeezed tightly shut and she was tightly biting her lip, holding her breath. "No, Elle, you need to breathe, sweetie. You can't hold your breath. Breathing through the pain will make it less." Frantically the brunette shook her head. Then it became clear to JJ that Elle had been crying, soft tear marks lay on her face, and at the end lay a jewelled tear. Reaching out, carefully, JJ wiped away Elle's tear.
Her trained eyes looked at the crumpled brunette, taking in her small frame, her upset face and the slowly loosening hand. Instead of talking again to her, she waited and softly rubbed Elle's back until her body seemed to loosen until she heard the brunette take a deep, needed breath.
"Just go, please." Elle finally let out, her voice horse, like she was upset.
"We're not going anywhere, Elle. Not until you talk to us." JJ informed her.
Elle's eyes looked up in anger, and sadness. The normal clean whites of her eyes, bloodshot and red. She had obviously been crying.
"I really need you to leave." Elle said, a little more sterner.
"No, Elle." Penelope now said, from behind her.
"Please, just go!" Her voice broke on the last word, tears threatening to leave her eyes. Then the quiet sobbing began.
"Elle, sshh, talk to us. Take it out on us. Tell us everything." JJ pushed, and dragged her chair a little closer to the bed. She saw Pen do the same on the other side of Elle.
"I… I didn't know." Came the first quite words of Elle.
"About what?" Penelope asked, her hand missing where JJ's was on Elle's back, and laying to rest on her shoulder.
The two hands moved as Elle tried her best to lay back on her back and slumped into an almost sitting up position.
"The handcuffs. We didn't check." Each woman's hand held her on each side. "I should have checked."
Giving a shake of her head, JJ sighed.
"Elle, you shouldn't have to check, the officers at the prison should have done their job properly. He should have never been able to get out of them." The blonde's other hand raised to brush Elle's bang out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. Elle began to nod.
"I know." She sounded a little exasperated. Then there was a moment's silence.
"What about…?" Pen finally broke the silence, glancing down at Elle's stomach that was still covered by blanket and her hospital gown. Yet, the brunette felt exposed, and, sitting a little straighter against the wall, she tucked her knees into her chest.
"I didn't know about that either. I would never have been that stupid otherwise." Her eyes fell onto the blanket covering her knees.
"Stupid? Since when have you acted stupid?" JJ asked, her hand moving onto the top of Elle's arm, letting the brunette hug her knees with one hand at least.
"The train, I was held hostage. In the woods with the psychopath. I have been searching houses for god knows how long the past few months, unaware as to what has been going on in my own body. It's my fault. I lost the baby because of my stupidity." Now Garcia shook her head and moved the bang out of her other eye so she could see just how broken the woman was.
"It's not your fault Elle. You didn't know. I bet if you did you would have taken things more carefully. But even if you did, that was nothing that was going to effect the events of today. You probably still would have been on that custodial, the handcuffs still would not have been checked. You did nothing wrong. You lost it doing something completely innocent. Nothing was your fault." Elle nodded again, tears now falling down her face. "Do you… do you know who the dad is?" Garcia asked, a little more quietly. Not liking the way she seemed to be implying Elle was sleeping around, or something.
"Of course." Elle snapped, but then bit her lower lip, and re-thought about her words. "Sorry." She looked away from Garcia's slightly hurt look, "Yes, I know who the father was."
"Do you want me to call him?" JJ asked, and Elle looked up to see her, her hand falling out of Garcia's grip and wiping away the tears.
"No. Don't call him. I don't want him to know." Both women nodded.
"Do we know who it is?" The way Elle looked down to her knees when she replied, told them both all they needed to know: yes, they knew him.
"Who is it?" Garcia's ears sprung up a slight bit, anything for some juicy gossip. She only wished she had not found out about it this way.
"I said it was no one you knew." Her final word rose slightly at the end as they watched the colour drain from her face, her top row of teeth being re-united with her bottom lip as she let out a small groan.
Both of them watched as her eyes tightly shut, and her legs dug into her chest slightly harder, her nails digging into her thigh, with pain. Garcia looked past Elle and JJ, to see the spike on the monitor. She gave a small nod to JJ who dropped her hand in between the wall and Elle to lightly rub at her back.
"Elle, remember to breath. Deeply in, and out." She coached her, and, although the brunettes eyes never met her own, she saw as she began to do the same. "Good, you're doing great, okay, it's almost over." They continued to breath through the pain, her hand still rubbing in circles on her lower back, "Okay, you should be fine now." She glanced at the monitor to see the spike slowly returning to normal, as she looked back, she saw Elle begin to loosen the hold around herself. "You should have the pain killers, Elle, it will at least make this a small bit unbearable." Elle shook her head with such force that her bangs fell back out from behind her ears.
It was as if the blondes sense it was going to happen, and in sync, they tucked them back away.
"Why not, why do you not want the one thing that's going to make this better?" JJ tried to use every word possible to make the painkillers more appealing to Elle, but it seemed like it was never going to work.
"I disserve this." The soft words were almost to vulnerable to have came from the Elle they knew, but they had.
"Why would you disserve this, Elle? What have you ever done to disserve all of this pain?" Letting her hand reach Elle's forehead, JJ wiped away some of the sweat.
"I didn't know it was there. It's my own body and I couldn't even tell I was pregnant. I did all of those stupid things. It's all my fault, I disserve this pain." Her voice was flat, no emotion at all.
JJ shook her head.
"No, no, Elle." Her hand found the bottom of Elle's chin and she forced her to look at her, "No one disserves this. Especially not you. You disserve nothing. Just because you did not know that the baby was there, it does not make you a bad person. It just makes you someone that was a little to busy this month and the previous two to notice." Elle's eyes fell back onto the bed, "None of this is your fault." She gave the faintest hint of a nod. "Do you want me to get the nurse to give you them?" This time, it was clear that she was shaking her head. "Okay, but if you want them you just tell me or Pen and we'll get someone to give you them, yeah?" Elle gave a small nod. "Okay."
Garcia watched the exchange between the two women, and felt her heart tear in two. She decided to distract herself a little bit more.
"So Elle, Hotch?" She suggested. The brunette's eyebrows creased in confusion. "The father, is it Hotch? He is the family type, I never thought he'd cheat on Haley though." Elle shook her head.
"It's not Hotch, okay." She never looked into Garcia's eyes, and the woman knew that she did not deny them knowing the father for a reason. It was someone they knew, and from the way she looked, it was someone on the team.
"Gideon?" Elle shook her head.
"Reid?" JJ now asked.
"No." And that left…
"Morgan?" Garcia asked. Elle did not answer immediately, instead she licked her lips out of nervousness.
"No, you don't know him." She finally said.
"Oh my God, you, and Morgan?" JJ asked, in a state of shock, ignoring Elle's deny of it being him. "How long have you been dating?" She questioned.
"We aren't!" Elle looked shocked, then her eyes dropped and she looked into her lap. "We only slept together once. He doesn't even like me." She let out a deep breath.
"So it was Morgan's?" The small nod was the only answer they needed.
"Please don't tell him." The fear was prominent in her eyes.
"Why not?" JJ laid a hand on top of her knee. "Don't you think he needs to know what you both lost? He can help you through this."
"No. He doesn't need to know. Please, no. He doesn't need to be burdened with this. It was a mistake, between us. It should never have happened."
"And he said that?" Garcia asked, never knowing Morgan could have been so heartless, and careless of someone else's feelings. Elle shook her head.
"No, we've never spoken about it. He obviously thought it was a mistake." Elle's eyes looked away from Garcia's as she looked to the wall in front of her.
JJ's eyes, however, caught onto Garcia's and they began having a conversation with just their eyes. It ended when JJ gave a nod. Just as she did, Elle began to tense up and wince slightly.
"Sshh." JJ rubbed at her lower back and tried to keep her breathing as calm as she could.
As soon as the pain had passed, JJ looked back up to Garcia, then to Elle.
"I'm going to get you a drink, okay? We don't need you getting dehydrated. Anything specific or just water?" Her thumb still rubbed at Elle's lower back.
"Water." Elle grumbled.
"Okay then. I'll be no more than ten minutes." She got up and left immediately, not giving Elle a chance to ask why getting a bottle of water would take all that time.
JJ waited until she was finally outside the hospital, before getting her phone out and ringing the one number she knew she needed to call.
"JJ? What is it, what's wrong?" Were the first words she heard from Morgan when he picked up. She knew then, that Morgan never once regretted the night with Elle, he probably regretted not mentioning it to her.
"Nothing's wrong. But I really think she needs to see you. This is something for the both of you to deal with." As she heard the rustling on the other end of the phone, and the distant curse as Morgan almost dropped the cell, she knew he was already getting dressed.
"Why? What is it, JJ?" She breathed in and took a sigh.
"I will tell you, but not over the phone. But please, do not get angry with Elle, it will only make her more closed off." The jingling of keys told her that he was already out of the hotel room, and on his way to the car.
"I'll be there in five." Morgan informed her.
"Okay, drive safely." JJ sighed and hung up. They all knew they could not deal with another incident tonight.
She began to search around the hospital for a drink dispenser that actually had water in, and eventually came across one down the end of a long, dark hall on the fifth floor. The thought of this gave her shivers, so she quickly put the money in and snatched the bottle as soon as it dropped into the bottom section of the machine. Speeding up her pace, she arrived back outside of the hospital, just as Morgan began his jog to the main doors.
"JJ, where is she, what the hell had happened?" He asked, in a splurge of questions.
"She told us about you and her…" Morgan's eyes never left JJ's and she knew he was far from ashamed about his and Elle's 'night of passion' as a romantic novel would call it.
"Yeah, okay, what is wrong with her?" He prompted, snatching JJ away from her thoughts.
"She… she's having a miscarriage, Derek. She's losing your baby." Now his eyes fell to the floor.
"Damn." He cursed, and she could see it was upset, and furious. "And before you even ask, no, she did not know about the baby. She didn't know until today, when she got here." He nodded. "She isn't on any pain meds." She said, when they began walking towards the elevator.
"What? Why?" Morgan winced, knowing the pain and despair he was walking into.
"She is refusing to let them give it to her. She said she disserves the pain, as a punishment for not taking more care of herself, and the baby." He looked to the floor and gave a solemn nod.
"Leave me in there with her. I'll convince her to take them, okay? You and Pen go back to the hotel and rest." Handing the keys over to JJ, he watched her nod.
"I was hoping you would say that." The worry was still thick in her voice.
"Don't worry, she's going to make it though this. I will not let it effect her too badly, alright?" JJ gave another nod as she opened the hospital door. Both women looking up to meet her eyes.
"Pen, we should go." She said, as she passed the water too Elle. Then the brunette became aware of the man in the room.
"JJ, no, I said not to call him." Elle began to protest.
"You need to talk, Elle. You need to get everything out of your system, and what better would it be than with the man who already knew everything and is going through the same thing?" Her hand squeeze Elle's lightly. "We'll be back in the morning."
Watching in despair, Elle saw the two blonde's leave the room before Derek came over to the side of the bed.
"I didn't know." Was the first thing she said, and as she looked up to meet his eyes, she finished, "I didn't know I was pregnant." Morgan gave her a light smile.
"I know. It's okay, JJ already told me. I'm not mad at you." He reassured her.
There was a moments silence as Morgan thought of the best words to say.
"You know, Elle. I didn't mention that night, because I thought you wanted to forget about it. Not because I regretted what we did. I have never since that day regretted what we did." Elle gave a small nod.
"I know." Doubt hung in her words.
"No, Elle, I don't think you do." He turned her head to make her look at him. "Every day, having to sit right by you, it was torture. I just wanted to reach out and kiss you again."
"Then why didn't you?" She asked.
"Because I thought you didn't want to. I couldn't do that again, to you. To me." Before Elle had a chance to nod, or even respond, a pain welled deep inside her stomach and lower back, and before she could contain her yelp, she cried out, and gripped her abdomen with her hand. "Elle? Elle, what's wrong?" He sprung to his feet to get the nurse, but she grabbed his hand and stopped him from running away.
"No. Please." She groaned out and Morgan just nodded in fear and let her squeeze his hand.
"Okay, sshh." He sat back in the chair and felt the life getting squeezed out of his hand. That would take a few days to get it's feeling back.
"Derek." She managed to gasp out.
"Yeah?" His eyes looked to see her's tightly shut. "What is it, what do you want?" He rubbed the hair from her face as she replied.
"Back." Was all she managed to say, but he understood exactly what she meant.
His other hand, that was not being used as a stress ball, went to her lower back, as he balled it into a fist, and kneaded her lower back.
"That okay?" Elle nodded, and he carried on kneading roughly.
A moment later and she loosened up. Collapsing back into the pillows, and effectively crushing his other hand.
"Elle?" He asked, almost painfully.
"Mmm?" Her eyes were shut, and she was too exhausted for words.
"My, um, my hand." Her back arched and he snatched it out before she landed back on the mattress with a 'humph'. "Are you okay now?" As he asked, she could see the fear in his words, terrified of what she had just experienced.
"Yeah, sorry…" She gave a sigh, catching her breath at last, "It was um… a contraction." She explained, and his expression worsened.
"Isn't there anything they can do? Stop it? At least stop the pain?" She shook her head, "Elle, JJ told me, just take the pain relief. It'll make you feel better." Elle shook her head, quickly. "Why, Elle?"
"I… I want to feel it."
"Because you think you disserve it?" He repeated what he was told, much to his surprise, Elle shook her head.
"Because the pain… It's our baby. I want to know it was there and I want to know when it leaves me." It was all too gruesome for Morgan, let alone the fact he almost wanted to cringe at the thought of her women's problems.
"Listen, let them give you the painkiller, please. I can't bear to see you in pain. Please Elle." Her eyes avoided his, and that was all he needed. Quickly, he slipped his hand out of her's and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I'll only be a minute." She gave a nod as he left the room, and then was left there to dwell in her own thoughts.
Right there, under her splayed hand, is a baby. No, was. She had to remind herself. Now she was losing her baby. And by the time the sun rose, she would no longer be pregnant… It was in that moment she actually missed Morgan. She missed the warmth his hand had offered her. The comfort his eyes gave her… Morgan. A tear dripped down her cheek as she begin to get lost in her thoughts even more. What would their baby have looked like? Her hair? Morgan's? Who's eyes would it have? Most definitely brown on both parts. But what shade? Would it have her mouth? Morgan's brains? Would it have been a boy or a girl? What would they have named it? Everything played over in her head, and she was so lost in her thoughts, she never realised Morgan had re-entered the room. Not until his hand was back in her's and the other hand was wiping away her tears. But he dared not mention them. Instead he brought her attention to the woman with a hospital cart behind her.
"Elle, I have spoken to the nurse, and they're more than happy to give the pain relief to you." She gave a nod. "Now it won't make the pain go completely away. It will just numb it a bit." Elle did not miss how much he had to pain the next words out of himself, "Down to a period cramp kind of pain." A smile ghosted over her lips, and Morgan knew he missed that smile.
"Alright." A nod from Morgan and the nurse came to her other side, by the machine.
First she wiped over the pale of the back of her skin with a sterilising wipe before giving her a small needle. Then the nurse began to put a cap in the top and taped it down before setting a drip up next to her and then attached the two things, before turning the tap. Elle felt a cold liquid running through her veins, before a numbing feeling overtook her body.
"That will kick in within the next few minutes. Try and get some rest." Giving a nod to the nurse, Elle watched her pull the tray out of the room before looking to Morgan who had a saddened look over his face.
"What?" She asked.
"You know, it is okay to cry, right?" She gave him a look that told him that statement was utterly stupid.
"Of course." Her eyes fell into her lap.
"Elle. You just lost something. It's tragic. You are allowed to get upset. None of us will think any less of you. If anything, we'll think more of you. You can cry, and show us you're human." With every word Morgan said, Elle felt tears welling in her eyes, and that was all he needed to see. Wrapping his arms around her, he sat down and pulled her into his lap, holding her closely as she sobbed.
He never said a single word, just letting his hand rub over the top of her back soothingly.
"It just gives you so many questions." Elle mumbled into his shoulder.
"Yeah?" Settling down in his lap, she wiped her eyes, and nodded. "Like?" He prompted, knowing it was better for her to open up, especially if she was going to recover from this tragedy.
"What would it have looked like? Would it be a girl, a boy? What would we have named it? How would I tell you?" More tears coat her face.
"And it's okay. I've asked those questions too." He informed her.
"Really?" Elle asked, a sense of shock on her face.
"Yeah. And I think, that she would have looked exactly like her mother. With your beautiful brown hair, and tight curls from my family." Elle smiled lightly.
"I think she would have your eyes." She suggested.
"Yeah? My eyes, and your adorable smile." He placed a kiss on her forehead.
"And your little button nose." She added, and as she raised her hand to poke his nose, Morgan's hand replaced her's on her stomach.
"A little button nose, and the best dimples from her mommy." Elle gave him a watery nod. "Any name suggestions?" He asked, his thumb rubbing over the flat surface of her stomach, in a trance. His baby had been in there. For three whole months. And he had had no clue.
"Mmmm." She gave a sigh, thinking through names she would have possibly called her daughter. "I like Robin for a girl… It is the only way I can get Rob in her name… because of my dad." Her words dropped slightly.
"Robin. I like it. Robin Francesca Greenaway-Morgan?" He asked, giving Elle a small smile.
"No, just Morgan. Robin Francesca Morgan."
"I think it's beautiful. She would have been a beautiful little girl." Morgan gave her a light smile, which he lost when he saw her let out a light wince. "Is the pain relief working?" He asked, turning to check that the drip was actually going into her hand still. Yes, it was. Giving a slight nod, Elle sniffled and wiped away a few of her tears.
"It's just uncomfortable." She informed him.
"Would it be easier if you were lying down?" Morgan asked, his hand suddenly feeling like an intruder on her stomach. He pulled it away hastily. His eyes viewed as Elle gave a light shrug. "Worth a try." He told her and began to get up.
"No. Stay." She realised how sad she actually sounded. "Please." Morgan gave her a nod, and lay back in the bed, letting Elle's head rest against his chest. His arms held her tightly, tucking a blanket over her small frame, as her body creased into itself. It looked awkward, but he knew it was making her more comfortable and that was all he wanted for her right then.
His fingers ghosted over her back as he pulled the pillow out from under him, nudging her lightly, he let her raise her head before laying the pillow underneath it.
"Try and get some sleep, okay?" A small nod came from her, but he knew try was all she would do.
As they lay there, Morgan finally had the chance to realise that she had her hair pulled back into a ponytail. It was just like how she had worn it that night they spent together. Admittedly, she was a hell of a lot paler now, and everything was far more tragic. But he didn't care, she was beautiful. As his eyes looked back down to her, he saw the light shutting of her eyes, and the faint slowing down of her breathing. A small smile came over him as he stopped his hand movement.
"No, don't stop." Came her sleepy, slurred words, and he could not help but let out a small laugh.
"I thought you were asleep?" Morgan asked.
"I am… kind of. You know I'm not going fully to sleep." He gave a light nod.
"Okay, try and rest slightly, then." His thumb started to slowly rub at her wrist.
Before she could manage to close her eyes again, Elle's hands tightened. The one on his chest lightly fisted a small bit of his top, while the one on her own stomach pressed a little harder. She gave out a slight groan, but Morgan dared not ask her about it, instead he just kept on rubbing softly. Knowing what had just happened.
It was all over.
At least for tonight. But Morgan knew, that everything had just begun.