"It's because of me that he ended up losing his power! ... If I hadn't been kidnapped by villains, then it never would've happened. All Might knows it's my fault but hasn't said anything. Everyone has to know though! I can't get it out of my head! It's like it's constantly running on loop! So what the hell am I supposed to do?!!!"
My words keep echoing back at me from everything that just transpired. Deku and All Might finally told me why that damn nerd suddenly started getting stronger. Why he suddenly had a quirk. What was really behind the loss of All Might's powers. It made sense now especially after Deku started surpassing me at everything.
But that didn't change how I felt.
After All Might talked to us and brought us back to the dorms, we got yelled at and were lectured by Aizawa, along with a goddamn strangling with that stupid scarf of his. He had advised us to clean up and take care of our own wounds after telling us what our punishments were. Deku and I both inflicted some damage, I may have kicked his ass, again, but this time he actually got me good in the face. He surprised me with how fast he moved and could actually pack a punch. How he wasn't scared or trembling this time.
He was currently sitting in the common area with antiseptics, bandages, and sports tape to wrap around his fingers. Too much power behind the punches of that quirk of his. I didn't bother with my own cuts and scrapes. It's my own personal penance. The adrenaline from earlier is still coursing through my body from built up anger so I don't feel any physical pain yet. He offered to help, as he always does, but I muttered that I had to go. Of course, he gave me a look of pity which I always hate but I ignored him and went off towards my side of the building towards the dorms.
The anger I was feeling starts to ebb away with every step I take but in its place my throat starts to constrict. Feeling the biggest knot on my throat and I keep thinking of what All Might had said to me earlier, but the guilt is still there. The shame. The feeling of unease. He's someone who I admire greatly and I still feel like I let him down. Still feel that I don't deserve his sympathetic words. I start feeling overwhelmed and I bite my lip as I start to feel the knot in my throat grow with intensity. My lip starts to wobble and I look up at my door to open it. Although at least I thought it was my door that I reached.
I'm standing outside Kirishima's. I come here every time I need a friend. He lets me hang out. He lets me vent. He lets me scream and cry and curse until my mouth goes dry. He's become my best friend. Probably even more than that. We've been spending a lot more time together. Just us. He knows how I've been feeling lately and I'm sure he'll be more than understanding if I wake him. He's probably already asleep so I shouldn't bother him but as I'm about to turn away from his door, my lip starts to quiver from holding back tears so I knock.
He answers right away and while he doesn't look as if I woke him, he does appear as if he was getting ready for bed. His hair isn't spiked up the way he usually has it and he doesn't have a headband around it. It's down.
"Bakugo?" He asks in confusion while rubbing his eyes "Something wrong?"
I move my head to the side so he doesn't see my face and the emotional pain I feel on display. However, when I turn he gasps. He can probably see the cuts and bruises on my face even though it's dark.
"Dude, what happened?! Do you need to see Recovery Girl?" He asks voice filled with anxious concern.
"No..." I say and my voice breaks.
I can't hold it in anymore and a single tear slides down the side of my cheek. I swipe it away angrily but more tears follow and before I know it he's grabbing me by the arm and bringing me into his room. He shuts the door behind us then sits on his bed. I can feel him staring at me wondering what is going on but he doesn't ask questions. He knows I won't tell him anything until I'm ready. I stand in front of him then begin to pace back and forth sniffling in anger and I feel stupid crying in front of him again but he doesn't say anything. The sobs that escape me shake my body to the core and I stop my pacing. I hadn't realized I was holding that much pain inside. I realized I would break down after a fight with that shitty nerd. I try to take a deep breath but the tears won't stop and I'm holding my hands up against my face.
I feel Kirishima stand up and he tries to hug me.
"Whatever it is man, I'm here." He says in a whisper.
His arms ground me and bring me back to the present. My thoughts, my tears, and everything that's happened lately seem to have hit a pause button in my mind. It's as if I'm at a standstill. When I finally feel calm enough I swallow back the tears that still threaten to spill and look at him. I'm sure I look like a damned mess but I know that doesn't matter to him and he doesn't judge.
"I was on the way to my dorm and I ended up outside your door." I whisper.
Instead of replying, he gives me a small smile then simply grabs my hand and tugs at it gently for me to follow. He's crawling onto the mattress and pulls back the blankets.
"Come on." He beckons with a shake of his head. "You can stay here... if you want to. You seem like you don't really want to be alone right now."
I stand beside the bed and look at him. How did I get so lucky to have someone in my life where all they want is for me to do and be well? I feel too vulnerable as it is but I have nothing to lose. He's being a friend so with that I say fuck it and crawl in beside him. He pulls the covers over us and leans back against his pillows closing his eyes to go to sleep. I awkwardly do the same and stare up at the ceiling. I haven't spent the night with another boy since I was a kid and that was for a sleep over. This seems more reserved and intimate. My thoughts start to come back to me and will probably take some time to settle so for that I'm thankful for his silence beside me. A few minutes pass and my tears from earlier feel rough on my face from where they dried. I reach up to rub them off when I feel him move.
"Everything is going to be okay..." he says sleepily.
Turning my head to look at him, I see he has his eyes closed and a small smile on his lips. Not asleep then.
I take a moment to look at him. Really look at him.
He's always giving me these words of affirmation. Always there for me and not caring about how he may look to other people. He's someone I can always count on in any situation. Case in point is when he reached out his hand on the rescue mission against the villains. I realize that now. He turns to his side facing me without opening his eyes. His long unruly hair falls forward and before I realize what I'm doing I reach up to gently push his hair back. When my finger brushes against his eyebrow he opens his eyes and looks at me.
"Uh... my bad." I say, voice still husky from crying and I start feeling a blush creeping up as I pull my hand back.
"It's all good." He says with a small chuckle.
I try to look away by turning on my side with my back to him in embarrassment but he places a hand on my shoulder as I'm moving stopping me. He scoots over closer to me and lays his head on my chest. My heart starts hammering away like crazy and I know he can feel it. We've been close but never this close and it's a new feeling for me. One that I welcome.
What a night of emotional turmoil.
This... we can also talk about tomorrow.
Once my heartbeat starts to go back to normal I reach out to run the tips of my fingers through his hair when his words startle me and my hand hangs in midair.
"Everything is going to be okay." He says one more time.
His words tug at my heart strings and with a small smile I let my fingers run gently through his hair and he hums in appreciation. With him by my side and his constant kindness towards me, always encouraging me, being there for me, I know it will be. Deep in my heart, of course, I do.
"I know, Kiri." I reply back before we both drift off to sleep.