Found this freaky poem in the computer and I decided to make a one shot about it. Yes, it's almost like it's the opposite of my other story. Note that this is my first ever poem one shot posted and I will delete it if people think it's ugly.Please note also that I'm just experimenting, if you know what I mean. Please review!
Held Back
How can I ever tell you how I feel
When it's so hard?
I always wish to tell you when you're here and real,
Whenever you'd be right in front of me
Instead of passing my message in a tiny card.
Naminé looked over her sister's shoulder, glancing briefly at Roxas. A tiny grin tried to escape her lips, but she didn't let the tiny victory get the better of her.
Instead, grief washed over the blond girl. He was so near, yet so far. How would she tell him how she felt? Her inner mind kept on cajoling her to step forward and tell Roxas, then her mission was done, though it wasn't exactly some mission. She was holding herself back.
Because she was scared.
I feel as if I'm caged inside,
Fighting with my other dark half,
Whether I should or not confide;
I fear you would just snicker or laugh,
Ridicule me and cast me away and aside.
She always thought the time would come one day. The shy girl's been watching him, but not the way stalkers do; that was going too far. Besides, he wasn't exactly what you call "a famously rich celebrity."
Her twin knew she liked him since Naminé told her, and it was the blond girl's mistake she told her twin since Kairi began to pester her about it as well.
Everyday she wanted to tell him, even when Kairi would invite Sora over and insisted Roxas tag along.
Sadly, Naminé never had the courage to say it. It would usually be caught at the tip of her tongue before she said it, and swallow those words back in.
Sure they were friends, but what if wouldn't feel comfortable about her presence after? Would he laugh at her? Or even worse, avoid her? It seemed as if she was risking their friendship.
That she didn't want to ruin.
Day by day I watch you move,
I wait for an opportunity to tell you
Though I have nothing to prove,
I wish time came to my rescue
For someday I'd feel a pang of rue.
Propping her chin on her fist, she felt a wave of emotions crash down on her as she looked out the window from her room.
She felt regretful that she hadn't said anything, and that made her annoyed because she was being such a coward. Then again, it was normal to feel that way, right?
She sighed, defeated from debating with herself. It may be my last chance, she told herself silently. Time won't give you another day; you'll regret it.
And if I don't regret it, then what'll I do? It's not like it's the end of the world, Naminé's other voice objected.
The tired girl sighed. She wanted terribly to speak out what she wanted. On the other hand, she was scared of what he'd think. That was the problem. They've been friends since who knew when, and painting other colors on the wall could either make it ugly, or prettier.
It was a farfetched idea, but what if he liked her back?
Disgusted at the thought, she quashed the idea though it gave her a tiny ray of hope. She wanted to believe it so much, but she knew that that only happened in fan fictions and fairy tales.
'til one day we inevitably come together.
She found Roxas out on the garden under the tree. Of course she had to greet him; he was their guest, although she hadn't known exactly why he was there alone. Where was Sora? Or even Kairi?
Flying down the stairs, her heartbeat quickened and her stomach did flips. He was alone doing nothing.
"Hey," she greeted with a smile and sat beside him when he greeted back. Her face felt as if it was burning and she felt silly.
Awkward silence filled the air and she began to feel uncomfortable. Was it because she was about to say it?
Naminé's head started to conjure some events that can happen. Roxas could get angry, reject her or say that he had a girl already and she'd be heartbroken. He'd leave her alone to cry her heart out because she had acted foolish.
But how should she know what would really happen if it didn't happen just yet?
I say my piece loud and clear.
She took a deep breath and put her hand over his. It was a friendly hand holding, but she felt like she was holding a block of ice and trying to endure it.
"Roxas," she began in a tiny voice, and suddenly her mind turned blank, as if everything abandoned her when she needed help. She knew what to say, but where was it?
"Um… I," she giggled nervously when he looked at her. He sat up straight and faced her.
Raindrops started to pat down on the grass and it started to rain.
"Roxas, I like you," she blurted out suddenly, as if someone pushed her. "I like you a lot but I could never say it. But if you don't like me that's okay," she put in quickly. "I just felt like I… like… like I had to tell you."
There, she said it.
I wait for you in dismay,
Wishing you would just say
She waited for his answer. She was scared, but she didn't let go of his hand. In fact, she was holding his hand tightly as if she never wanted to let go.
I said it, and it was wrong of me to say so, she thought tearfully, wincing and shutting her eyes tightly just so the tears wouldn't escape.
Instead she felt something touch her softly on her lips. She was shocked; her eyes flew open and she saw him kissing her. Did that mean he loved her, or was it a parting gift that meant I'm doing this as a favor to you and after this moment, good bye?
They parted and Roxas grinned wildly, which she hadn't expected at all.
"I don't like you," he told me. Naminé felt her heart sink all the way down. Why did he play with her feelings for even one moment?
"I love you."
What I've always wanted to hear.
o0o
HOW CHEESY CAN I GET? Tell me! It actually turned out to be so long, which I hadn't expected. Please review, okay? I'm deleting this "poem" if I don't get any reviews, thanks! And please do note that this is the first time I made something like this using my old poem so don't flame me. Tell me what I should improve. Thanks!
