AN: Oh dear… So my "dearest brother" poured water on my laptop ._. and I got grounded for "letting him"! Oh well! I'm back now! So here's… whatever this is! :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler/Kuroshitsuj, or the characters. Sadly.

Ciel Phantomhive looked down at the paper in front of him. Clean, pure, unmarked. Everything he was not. Taking a shaky breath he lowered his pen to the paper. "Dear Elizabeth," he began, whispering the words as he wrote them. Then he stopped. How could he explain this? He had known this was coming for years, but now the time was here he couldn't do it. How could he tell her that he was going to die? How could he tell her that he had known it all along? Easy, he couldn't. She was so young. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to wake up one morning to find a letter from her sweet betrothed, only to find that this letter was telling her what had happened. Sebastian had told him from the beginning. When Ciels soul was devoured, Ciel would die. He had known. He could have planned for this. But he didn't. And now the time came to write that final letter, and he couldn't do it.

Tears were filling the boys eyes now. Uncharacteristic, child like tears. Tears of fear, tears of frustration, tears of sadness? Ciel didn't know.

With another soft sigh he began to write again. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. Really, I am." he murmured, his handwriting was neat, despite the tears blurring his vision and the speed at which he was writing. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. When you read this, I'll be dead. I've known I was going to die for years, I've just never been able to tell you. But now? It's now or never, and I want to tell you everything that I should have over the years, so here goes.

I'm sorry I never told you I love you. I've always loved you, ever since we were very young. I can't believe I never told you. And now I'll never have the chance.

I'm sorry I never gave you the engagement ring. It's included in this envelope, if you still want it. Maybe you do, maybe not. I just wish that /I/ could have given it to you.

I'm sorry I never kissed you. I never really understood why it meant so much to you. I still don't, but I know that it did. I know that it does, and so I'm sorry that I never did that for you.

I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye in person. You must think I'm a coward. You must think I was scared. I'll admit it, I was scared. I could never bring myself to do it. I didn't want to see you cry. Now I'm going to die knowing that you will be crying and I can't comfort you...

I'm sorry for all the times I upset you. Those times when I've made you cry. I hated to see you cry, Elizabeth. You deserve to be happy. I wish I could stay with you, I wish I could make you happy."

The boy sighed softly as he finished yet another paragraph. He didn't know how to finish this... There were so many things he could say, things he should say. But how could he ruin her child like innocence that remained? If she knew the truth... Well, she'd become a shattered soul, not unlike Ciel was when he summoned Sebastian.

"I'm sorry I don't know how to end this. There are so many things I should tell you, things you deserve to know. I don't have the space, or time left to write them all, but you'll learn on your own. I know you will.
Just one thing. Never make a contract with a demon. No matter what."