He knows his sense of reality is fading. He has never felt such pain before. All his energy is being used to breath. Breathing should not be a task that takes all your strength, but right now all his strength isn't close to enough. He is thinking in snap shots between darkness. It hits him when he hears a beeping noise that he is no longer on Sonny's floor, but in a hospital room. He doesn't understand how. Why would have Sonny brought him to the hospital, instead of placing him in the ground next to Claudia's now empty resting place? He manages to open his eyes for a moment to see his Ma standing over him with tear stained cheeks and he thinks; things can't be good. Then all his thoughts turn to Lulu, he has to tell her he is sorry but he can't seem to talk. "Tell Lulu" he hear himself say. He is battling with himself, there is more, he wants to scream, but then it is black again.
He is jilted from his darkness by something. He can't pin point it yet. The pain is still there, maybe it is worse, he didn't think it was possible but it is worse. He wonders where the damn white light is, the one you are suppose to see. But he chastises himself for even thinking that, he has to see Lulu and tell her that is sorry. He feels this strange pull and realizes he can open his eyes. He sees Sonny by his side and his gut reaction is to jump and run. Then it dawns on him, there is no white light because I am in Hell. He can hear Sonny talking, but it does not make sense. He is saying something about father and sons. An odd punishment he thinks. He wonders why it isn't hotter, wasn't hell was suppose to be hot? Goes to show you what those priest know, you should never listen to someone that gave up sex willingly is his last thought. And then there is darkness again.