MINI-PROLOG: homstuck WORLD

1 time iwas having a drem that I went bakc in tiem and save Abe linkin from beng shooted at the movie theater but DUALCAR SHOTTED HIM INSTED AND THEN TOOK ME 2 THE HOMESTUCK WORLD WITH HIM. I hav that drema lot becaus I realy love homesuck and dualcar and I HAT history! but in my drem dualsar alwaiys had manboobs and was chibby so mabey it was a faek dulscar.

That nite I opend my eys 2 see a fase starring down at me. it WAS dualcar in REAL! "OH MY GOG DAULCAR I LOVE U!" AND HE DIDNT HAVE MANBOBBIES AND HE WASINT SHUBBY! I screemed and hipped out of bed huppily. dualcar said to me "nice room" caus I have like ten posters of homesuck peapal and also like a bajliillion other fandums (my brother cals them "fandumbs" cus he thenks he is better than me caus he plays fotball he likes the baltomore ravens but I HAT them F U FOTOBALL!)

I got real excited and I sed "dalscar will u pls take me 2 the homsuck world!" and he sayed YES and WE WENT THROU THE PORTHAL... but then I heared a ROAR…

The Reel Chapter One: dAnJGER JeRNY

when me and dialscar reeched the homstuck world we apeared in a room ful of owterspace stuff like ricket ships and plants. "this was my rom wen I was real small" dialscar said and he smialed cutely.

suddenly we were INDER ATTAK! some demin giys with satan tshirts and bassball caps broak thru the window and hited me in the fase! I scremed and tride to figte back but I did not kno karatey. they slashed me wit shrarp words and my orgins flied evrywhar but KARKAT VANIS FLIE IN A SAVED ME AND KULLED THE DEMINS.

"WOOP WOOP WOP MOTERFICKERS" he yelled pridely. he blished when he saw me in my birthday soot caus I sleep nakkid. "o r u jamse!?" he squeeled!

"yea I am." I sed. "hi katkat."

his fase went all red and he looked don at my leg; at lest I THOT it was my leg! (pls dont corect my gramar see I used a seme colon!)

"whoo were those demins?" I assed.

"they wer satanspawns and they want to kill you cause ur spescaial so satan wants to make u his debuty!" kaykat respinded scary.

I gasped "HOE AM I SPECHAL?! I DON'T WANA BE STAANS DEBUTY"

"u r ur a soarsarer and demins HAT sorsars," karkat growled secsily and I was supsrised! he locoked at me wit his secsy eye balls and sid "do u want 2 go on a daet"

Doilscar got made and said, "no he is mine f u jarkat!"

"guys it ok because I am not gay." I sed. "I am bisecual so that mens I can only do 3sums with a gorl and a boy." and so me and daulscare and karkat went into the living rom of dulscars hosue and we watched Modarn Famley and Bitins got Talent but the secal tenshun was so high I cud not evn handel it anymore.

"Ok so maybe I a little bit gay!" I said sedatively and loked at karkat and dalscar sedatively even tho I was a girgin, and then they climed on me and dalscar strated kissine me an karkat started to—

"HI GUS!" someone yelled from the front door! Nepera Legion and her boyfend Equs Zack walked in ironicly. "what r u doin u cant have secs on my coch or it will get stanned!" nepeta hissed at us!

"YOUR coch?" I questuned.

"yea MY coch!" nepera jissed louder. "this is my hiv!"

but I thot in my mind why did dalescare tell me that he lived hear when he was yonger? I felt tenshun bidl up between them as they starred at ech other. uh oh some droma must be going on!

"les go to my hosue instead and have a sleapover." lardkat said. ok we got up and walk to his house.

"so if Im a soarsarer does that men I have magik powars?!" I sed exitedly!

"not yet, but I am the moist powerful soarcasrer ever to live!" dialscar retarted (DID YOU SEE THE PUN MOIST CAUSE DOLSCAR LIKES WWATER LOL!). "we will have to go to anoter world to test you first!" He did a magic thing wit his hand and mad watter fly in2 the skie and hit a demin. "u hav to beat pealaple from oter words at a magic battle its like a pokemin battle but with magic." he did a water magic move at the skie and a water tornado landed on another demin, but I was sad cus pokemon SUX. "the demin CIA is out here looking for you jeames cause satan wants to mack you his right hand man." so me and sualscar and katkat and nelepa and eqipus walked into katkats house and I saw so many peapel I know!

There were John Egbert the prickster and Rose and Kaneya the lesbanins and Jad Hurly and Dave Stider and ASH KECHUM and MISTEY and FUXY THE PIRATE AND BONIE FROM FIV NIGHTS AT FREDDIES I SCREAMAD LODLY.

Bonie got up and tried to kill me because I am a human so he thenks I am a exoskelatin not wearing a soot I THOUGHT BONIE WAS A GIRL BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE BUNNYBOOBIES IN REAL LIEF SO HE IS A BOY EVERY1. But dalscar stopped Bonie and said to her "sorry bonie this one is mine! We ned to take him to the master to test him!" bonie and foxy nodded and stepped back. I waved hi to everyone but john and jad were playing Yotzy and rose and kaneya were havin hawt secs so they dint see me. I was in ash and misties range of sigt so they challengd me 2 a pokymon batlle but I told them I HAT POKEMON cause ALL U DO IS FIND ANIMELS AND FORSE THEM 2 FIGT BY PRESSING LITEL BUTTONS THERE IS NO REAL ACTON IS SO BORNG. the ONLY COOL THIG IS THE WAY SOME OF THEY LOOCK LIKE RAQUEZA! so Ass and Misty sended out pee-achoo ( pikachoo HA LOL) and boremander (chamander LOL) and tried to hit me but daulscar kiled them to deth and ass and misty cride and I LAUGED (ok so a lot of fanfoctins have marysoos so I desided to make SUR nobodey caled JAMES a marysoo by makin him a SADIST but not a SATANEST cus that EVEL don call him a satenist pls plss thx)

chika the duck woked up to me and sed 2 doopscat "only mingle can open the portal to the fukin test room or els satan will get in karkats hose and bring demins with him like the guy who killd abe lincin and sacagawwea and shit!" mingle is the guy that is all breked up from the kids playin with him from the fnasf TWO game and he lives on the seiling and he flies at u to kill u in the gam. but I got SCARED WHEN CHIKA SED THE GUY WHO KILLD ABE LINKIN BECAUSE WHAT IF IT WAS DALSCAR LIKE IN MY drem. ALSO Y IS SACAGAWEA A DEMIN?! DID SATEN STELE HER OH NO I HAD TO SAV HER! FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHIPTER!