I, L Lawliet, Ryuuzaki, Hideki Ryuuga and the best detective the world has known, drunk.
And im a 99.9% shure that that night I wasnt the only drunk one, my oh soo dear "friend" Kira, Light Yagami; however you want to call that 17 year old bastard,was quite drunk himself.
And I DO understand that any typical seventeen year old boy has his hormones and his needs, his fantansies and his ridicule little tempations but even I, L Lawliet, had no idea that he would go this far, and, truthfully, the things I did as a seventeen year old were quite out of the ordenary, but as I have learned, perhaps the most important lesson of all, lesson, life message, any of that poetic bull is of no interest, no matter how intriguing Shakespear writes, I honestly don`t think I could bother going trough the whole faking-my-death-thing just to marry some woman I met a day ago,
The ending is all the same anyway, we live to die, we are born to eventually get placed two meters under the ground.
In that short period the only thing there is to do is survive and enjoy in our own ways, this world; eat or get eaten, survive how you can and get drunk on the way.
Well, that`s what I THOUGHT.
Untill last night, yesterday, that stupid, stupid yesterday, I cannot and relish to believe that I have no alcohol tolerance, I KNOW I do, despite whatever that raging teen had to say, I might not be most sociable, but I was not living under a rock, and I KNOW alcohol, I do, better than he could imagine, that liquid that eventually torn my godamn family in shreds.
But that bed time story is over and done with.
And I regret to say that right now that whatever happened yesterday was much more cunning, and more shakesperian type of story you read on the beach while your girlfriends go around poking your shoulder and asking you what the hell you`re doing reading on the beach.
It was a normal, usual and calm day, like anyother day and no changes whatsoever (Well, except that Light-kun reminded me alot of Aizawa when he discovered I was eating in bed, for god`s sake that kid can only whine and complain, hunger strikes when you do not sleep you know?)
The rutine of everyday, a broken disk on constant repeat, soonly boring everyone listening to it;Wake up, Light hits L for one reason or the other, eat, office, Matsuda be an idiot, Light and L once again fight over something petty, everyone tired, everyone getting the hell out, deciding that today "Kira was taking a rest."
Damn straight he was taking a rest, he was making me drunk for god`s sake.
Oh I will show him, someday I`ll call him "Darling" see how he likes it, someday I`ll go pour alcohol in HIS coffee and take advantage of his situtation and start-
Okay, nevermind that, but the moment I lift the cup to my lips, and instead of tasting my sweet and lucious coffee drenched in sugar, I tasted a bitter taste that burned on my tongue.
It was a brief second, but it was there, you know how in those fairy tails the evil steph-mother poisons her beautiful steph daugther out of the mere hell of it?
I considered the possibilty, but shrugged it away with a second, firstly, Light Yagami is not my mother.
Honestly.
However, the vile look on his face hardly helped the case, the sheer fucker was laughing, LAUGHING I tell you.
While I am fully aware that pshyco-killer`s tend to laugh at the misfortune of other`s despair, I do not reckon any pshyco-killer taking the detective`s collar and randomly start-
For God`s sake, this is getting nuttier with every second.
The whole thing didn`t quite get into me yet, you know how they say the brains are like computers?
Well, mine crashed.
In school they always warned you about drugs, that idiotic, way to long speech with the painful voice that tingled in your ear, every year blah blah blah, and didnt you always think "For Christ tell me something new." but in one way you were happy because you missed that lame ass maths class?
Yeah, me too.
But did they ever tell you what you should do if someone else drugged you?
There, these school systems should really start wrecking their brains for other things but money.
And perhaps Light Yagami didn`t exacly drug me, not with sustanance, atleast.
Right now I dont even know what the hell he put in my not-soo-sweet coffee but it certainly was not Malibu, I knew that much.
It`s quite a shock to say that that was the only thing I knew at the moment.
And I mean it.
I do not know what surprised me most, that Light Yagami had taken the effort of dru-
putting whatever it was in my coffee, that vile look on his face or the fact that he went for my collar, forced me to him with quite a violent gesture and kissed me.
Please don`t get the innocent, "first time ever" and "fluffy feel good" idea, because even right now I can assure you that that is to not.
Maybe I should explain myself better, maybe I should cut the shakesperian slash BBC News type of voice and speak in third person.
If this would have happened to someone else, I would have laughed hysterically and offer him a pat on the shoulder and silently sorrow for his utter failure of a love life.
But since im speaking about myself, L Lawliet, Ryuuzaki, Hideki Ryuga, this is not fun.
At all.
Instead I will write the following in third person, thinking that this was not about me, but about you.
After tonight everything will go back to normal and-
Ooh fuck it. Of course it isn`t.
"Ryuuzaki." Light Yagami looked bored, his head resting on his hand and looking at nothing in particular, the detective, L, looked at him from his cake. "Hmm?"
"Ryuuzaki." Light repeated, obviously engrossed and somewhat facinated by the ceiling on top of him, its not like he hasn`t lived under for oh I dont know, two if not three weeks?
"What?"
"Do you actually eat anything else but sweets and strawberries and ham on lemon?" He shot the cake L was devouring a dissaproving look, and gave Ryuuzaki that same gesture.
L licked the plate, which was quite a kids thing to do. "I eat bananas."
Silence, "And cherries."
Another silence filled the room. "And actua-"
The teen took his hand out and stared at the table, "Please, just shut up."
"Hmm...?"
Another hour, nine o`clock, L sweetly obeyed the teen and remained silent (Although even if Light asked him to shut up and L had something to say he would say it anyway.) The teen, however, was a little restless and was toying around with the details of his jacket, succesfull in accidently ripping a button off.
L sighed dramatically. "You say im like a child for only eating sweets, I say you`re the real child here."
Light frowned but huffed. "What makes you say that?"
The detective wondered if the teen thought he was just stupid, or simply had no common sense. "Do you know the phrase `I am dead but not down`?"
Light bit his lip, which was quite a out of character thing for him to do. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Light expected a ridiculously long speech and alot of telling off, but instead he got a short, simple answer accompaned by a casual gesture.
Ryuuzaki pointed at the button that went flying. "That`s yours."
"I am aware."
"I know you are, and you tried to ignore it soo I would ignore it and not think of you as a child, the button is down but not dead, I can see it and it can still be used."
Light sneered briefly, he opened his mouth to say something but thougth better of it and shook his head instead.
About ten minutes passed when Light again spoke to the detective. "Can you tie cherries in a knot?"
L answered, confused, what was this all about? "Yes."
light laughed shortly with a bitter edge, his smile was a little to friendly and he stood up. "They say people who can do that are good kissers." his eyes were teasing and his body language was tempting, L coughed and looked at the teen straight in the eye, it was then he realized the honey eyed boy had one hand leaned on the edge of the chair L was sitting on and had the other hand on the edge of the table.
"Light-Kun..."
But he never continued.
"Now Ryuuzaki, take these things off soo I can make us some coffee, its too bothersome for you to stand up isn`t it?"
A/N Its 4:48 in the night and I feel like I can drop dead every second now, please review :) its a two-shot between.