HAPPY EVER AFTER
Disclaimer: Uncle Raz, Uncle Kainy and related Nosgothian comments belong to Eidos Interactive, Crystal Dynamic and Silicon Knights. Uncle Kurt belongs to Marvel Comics. Auntie Lupa and Uncle Vladimir are my creations. Donovan belongs to The Guardian-of-Tears.
Okay. Maybe I did say that "Blues" was a one-off. And so it was! I just write a lot of one-offs, that's all! This is a no-excuses piece of cutesey fluff I wrote a while ago, thought you might enjoy it ^_^. Readers of my other stories may recognise the events in Raziel's bedtime story from "Magic Kingdom". Oh, and people who like to read my original stuff may like to know that Cats and Dogs is now finished!!
A cold, snow-filled day, and Lupa pushes open the door of Vladimir's house quickly, hurrying to be inside. The heat hits her like a physical force. Someone has lit the big open fire under the mantel, and that same someone is currently sat cross-legged before the blaze, his ragged wings spread wide to bask in the heat.
"And what happened next, Unca' Raz?"
Lupa blinks in the glow of the firelight. Two small children are huddled on the cushions before the fire, in front of Raziel: a black wolf-cub, whose eyes gleam with enthusiasm –and a young cheetah-girl, who is the one who spoke.
"Yeah," pipes up the wolf-cub, "what happened then, Dad?"
"Well," says Raziel, leaning in to his little group in a secretive manner, "it was then that the werewolf picked up her slingshot and fired the biggest marble that she owned…"
The cheetah gasps. "Was it the special marble? The one she took from the dragon's tummy?"
"Oh, you know it was," says Raziel, amused. Lupa leans up against the wall in the shadow, intrigued. "She pulled back the cat-gut as hard as she could –"
"Wasn't real cat's guts was it, Uncle Raz?"
"Not really, Yara, no. She pulled as hard as she could, and took careful aim, because she knew that the hero was in danger and it was up to her to save him."
"This is the really handsome hero-vampire guy with the big wings and claws…right Dad?"
"Right," says Raziel, daring the wolf-cub with a look to make something of it. "And when she had the evil vampire right in her sights she fired! Thwap!!"
The children jump as Raziel makes a swiping gesture over their heads with his claws.
"Now the marble flew straight and true, and it hit the evil vampire right in the head – shut up, Donovan, you'll feel the back of my claws – and he fell down dead on the spot, never to trouble the innocent people ever again."
Raziel pauses in his story and looks up, to meet Lupa's smiling gaze upon him.
"Ooh," the cheetah-girl squeals. "Then did they live happily ever after? The vampire guy and the werewolf?"
"I haven't finished the story yet," says Raziel, primly, and prods the little cheetah in her spotted belly with one hoof. She purrs. "The werewolf and the vampire were very happy that the evil vampire was dead. They decided to go and live together in a magical place with a thousand doors, each of which opened to a thousand different worlds. And they had a whole lot of other exciting adventures –"
The cheetah-girl looks disappointed. Raziel gives in.
" – but yes, Yara. They did live happily ever after."
"Yay!" She grabs Raziel's bony knee and hugs it. "An' I bet they got married in a big hall with loadsa flowers an' balloons an' cake…cos they loved each other really, right, Uncle Raz?"
"That's right, Yara." Lupa steps in from her shadow, before Raziel can answer, and scoops up the kit in her arms. "And now it's time to go up to bed in Uncle Vladimir's room."
"Awww, already?"
"I wanna stay with Uncle Kurt instead," says the wolf-cub, and Lupa grins, imagining 'Uncle Kurt's face when he finds an intruder in his room.
"Whatever. Just go to bed. Quick now! Last upstairs gets breakfast cooked by Uncl;e Vladimir in the morning!" She puts the kit down and the children scramble to be first up the stairs.
"Night, Auntie Lupa! Unca' Raz!"
Lupa turns an amused grin on Raziel, who shuffles one hoof in an embarrassed manner.
"Well, that was sickeningly cutesey," she says. "Since when did you become father of the year? And forgive me if I'm wrong, but I thought I might have recognised the story you were telling…?"
"That?" says Raziel, innocently. "That was just one of my famous tales of Lucy and Raoul, werewolf heroine and vampire hero. They travel the multi-verse righting wrongs and kicking ass."
"Emphasis on 'ass'," says Lupa, sitting down next to him by the fire. "What are those children going to think when they find out that the evil vampire lord is really 'Uncle Kainy'?"
Raziel holds up a long claw to his cowl. "Ssh," he admonishes, "don't tell anyone!"
Lupa chuckles and leans against his shoulder, watching the snow fall outside in the garden. The fire crackles as a piece of wet wood expands and snaps.
"Will you tell me a story?" she asks.
"If you want. What should it be about?"
Lupa smiles, evilly. "I want to hear more about Lucy and Raoul. What did they do on their days off?"
"Well," says Raziel, after only the briefest of pauses, "On sunny days Lucy enjoys playing beach volleyball in hot pants and a very small bikini top…"
"…whereas Raoul likes to wear a gingham frock and go salsa-dancing on the roof…"
"…only because gingham is Lucy's secret vice…"
"…and only because Raoul secretly wanted to be a girl when he grew up…"
They are both reduced to fits of laughing, which gradually subside.
"I can't be bothered to go upstairs," says Lupa. "Let's sleep here."
"All right," says Raziel, "but we can't make a habit of this. Or Santa won't be able to bring us presents this Christmas because he won't be able to squeeze past your hips."
"You haven't been a good boy this year," says Lupa, annoyed, "so you won't get any presents. Does Santa deliver to vampires and werewolves, us being creatures of the night and all?"
Raziel reaches out a claw and taps her on the muzzle.
"You'll have to wait and see," he says. "Still, it was worth it when Kain used to dress up in a Santa suit and wander about the Abyss going "ho, ho, ho" and carrying a sack…"
Lupa considers this image for a moment, then says: "Kain and jolly – not words that generally occupy the same sentence…"
"They didn't for very long," says Raziel. "Dumah and I pushed him into the shallows. He wasn't very jolly after that. Although he did go festively red in the face…"
Lupa cackles. "I want to hear that story! Tell me my story, Uncle Raz! You promised!"
"Very well," Raziel begins, leaning back against the fire surround comfortably, "there was once an evil vampire dictator called Kain and he had several sons…"
…I think you know the rest! Please R & R.
My wedding is this coming Saturday by the way *hugs everyone who has wished her well* and so I may not be around for a little while after that...but I will return! Mwhahahahahaha! *composes herself* Ahem…^_^