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Shawn was nervous. He'd just seen Matt Hardy walk down the hallway with his arm around Candice. He'd then saw Jeff come behind them with Maria on his arm. He nudged Hunter once they got to the locker room.
"Hunter. When did Maria start going out with Jeff?"
His partner stopped taping his hands."She's with Jeff? I heard she just broke up with Matt last week."
This made Shawn even more confused."But I just saw him with Candice."
"Huh? What the hell is going on?"
"I dunno. The dating scene has always been crazy around here."
"And that means it'll only get worse."
"True. Thank God I'm married."
"I feel the same way, buddy. Plus, at your age I doubt many women would still consider you a 'Sexy Boy'."
"Hey!"
The two argued back and forth until it was almost time for their matches. They met up with Dave at the gorilla position and saw him kissing Melina.
"What the hell?"whispered Hunter.
Shawn patted his shoulder and went up to Dave."You and Melina dating?"
"Yep. I owe it all to Dr. Love."
"Who?"
"He works for the company and is on tour with us, but no one knows who he is. He gives relationship advise for a small fee. He helped me see 'Lina in new light. We've been going strong for almost a month."Dave heard his music start and grinned."Gotta go. See you out there Michaels."
"What. The. Hell?"Hunter whispered again.
"I think the bigger question is:Who is Dr. Love? I gotta go, man. We'll brainstorm later."
Hunter nodded and watched his friend go. He looked around and noticed a few other couples together. This had to be the work of Dr. Love. Oh yes, he'd find out the identity of the good doctor, or his name wasn't Hunter Hearst Helmsley!
"Nothing's adding up!"Hunter yelled, angrily pacing the hotel room the next morning.
"No it isn't. We know it's a wrestler and a guy. We even crossed a few guys off the list, but there isn't enough evidence to prove who he is,"Shawn replied."
They sat in silence for a moment before an idea struck Hunter."I know! Why don't we visit him ourselves?"
"That's a great idea, but we don't know where he is...But we do have a list of the couples he's hooked up."
"You're a genius Shawnie!"
The DX members ran from their room to the nearest door they new of. Cena opened his door in nothing but his boxers.
"Guys can you make it quick? I'm kinda busy."
They noticed Kelly on the bed watching a movie and nodded."We will. We need to find Dr. Love,"Hunter said.
"Really? Well, he always stays in the same place, I heard. He's usually in the ninth room on the first floor. The guy's a genius when it comes to relationships."
"Do you know what he looks like?"asked Shawn.
"No. The room's dark when you go in, and you face the wall when you sit while he talks. The fee's sixty bucks a pop, but it's worth it."
"We'll take your word for it,"said Hunter."See you, John."
"Night."
He slammed the door in their faces, and they looked at each other."First floor, here we come,"Shawn said."but first we need to get sixty bucks."
"Right."
After getting the money, the two men took the elevator to the first floor. The found the correct room and knocked. There was nothing until a voice called out from the other side of the door,"What?"
"Um..We're here to see...uh...Dr. Love,"Hunter called out.
There was silence once again, and Shawn tried the door. It was locked. Figures. The door then creaked open a little, creeping out both Shawn and Hunter. They did rock paper scissors to see who went first. Hunter lost and peered inside. Just as John said, it was dark, and their were three chairs facing opposite directions with a table in the middle.
"Place the money on the table."
Hunter and Shawn looked at each other and nodded. The closed the door softly and locked it. They both walked forward while silently counting down. They both hit three and lunged. There were crashes, and before they knew it, they were on the floor eating carpet.
"Let us go!"Hunter yelled, but it was muffled by the floor.
They kept struggling, and Shawn eventually kicked him the face. Dr. Love fell back, and Hunter saw a lamp. He switched it on, and it shocked both him and Shawn.
"Glenn? You're Dr. Love!"Hunter yelled.
Shawn began pacing and mumbling over and over."This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real."
Glenn rubbed his nose and got up from the wreckage of the fallen table and chair."Yeah. I get paid damn good money too."
"What the hell do you know about relationships? Your track record with women sucks."
Glenn rolled his eyes."I know, but I've learned enough to give the rest of the helpless help. I offer date ideas, potential partners that match your personality, and plain advice. After the door fee, you can come to me any time for six months."
"Wow. I need to get in on this,"said Hunter.
"No way, and you'd better keep quiet. I'd hate for the pictures I have to be leaked out on the Titantron next week."
Both men stopped dead."W-w-what pictures?"asked Shawn.
"Oh nothing. Just a few of you two naked in the six-nine position from 1997."
Hunter lunged at him again, but Shawn held him back."HOW DID YOU GET THOSE PICTURES?"
Glenn laughed and lounged on his bed, leafing through the money he'd made for the night before."I have my ways. I have dirt on just about everyone. My brother may run the locker room, but I know it like the back of my hand."
"How?"asked Shawn.
"It comes from when I was mute. I couldn't talk to learn about people, so I had to listen to them instead. Now, out of the goodness of my heart, I'm helping people with my knowledge..."
"...for a small fee,"Hunter finished.
"That's right, but it could be worse. I could be blackmailing everyone."
"That is true,"said Shawn
"I'm willing to let this go and give you your money's worth of my services. Just as long as you remember to keep quiet, I won't have to show this picture to the world."
Shawn and Hunter looked at each other. They'd underestimated him and crossed him off the list along with a few others right off the bat. They were paying for it now. They had no choice but to comply.
"You have our word,"Shawn said."Now, I'm going home in a bit, and I need to surprise Rebecca."
"Hey, I'm leaving too, and I want to do something for Steph!"
The two men began to argue, and Glenn chuckled."Hey! I'll split it down the middle and give you each three months since you'll both be gone in four. How's that?"
Shawn and Hunter got quiet and looked at each other."That'll work,"said Hunter.
"Good. Now you're cleaning up my room before we do anything."
"Yes, Dr. Love,"They said in unison.
FIN