The Wedding Gift
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Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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A/N: I TRIED to make the ending happy :P
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Death, it is one of those things that we all know will someday come. But we dare not think about. No one is brave enough to think about what will happen when our soul leaves this world, leaving a hollow, empty shell for our loved ones to cry over.
So then why is it, we dont value life more? We waste it away, as if its something given out freely.
Its not. So many people are now those shells, their souls floating around another world, watching, as something that was taken from them prematurely, is still granted to people who continue to almost die.
People who abuse substances, people who hurt themselves, people who continue to stick their neck out and only getting grazed.
But then, theres all those people, the ones who stand behind, do only good, never put themselves in danger.
And they lose everything. Because of one of those people. They try to help, or they are simply a bystander, and one of those people, the people who do not deserve to still be in this world, kill them.
It does not count as murder if you are a drunk driver. It does not count as murder if you convince them to try some of your substance. It does not count as murder, if you drag them down the same forbidden path you chose.
It only counts as death.
Only a short 2 years ago I lost my best friend to substance abuse.
It was my fault. I started it all. I pressed her into it. I pressed her further into a dark hole that she did not belong in.
I put my neck on the line so often, she hardly ever did. Until the dark smoke wisped around her and dragged her into its dark clutches.
It held her captive with me.
Her parents tried an intervention. They tried to cut their sweet little girl off of these dangerous substances.
She jumped. She needed her addiction. And they wouldnt let her have it. I was happy to supply.
And when I stood there. After she convinced me to drive her to that ledge.
The one that dropped only a simple 20 feet. A simple 20 feet that can still kill.
I was to late to hand her that damn bag. I was 5 minutes to late. All because of that damn traffic. And she jumped before I could get to her.
Allysa Rain Pene lost her life July 5, 2007.
She jumped off of a 20 foot ledge causing injury to her spinal cord, her leg broken in 3 places, 5 broken ribs, amputation to her arm, and severe brain damage on June 20, 2007.
Her parents ended her suffering when they found out she would be in a bed for the rest of her life. Completely immobile, and relying on a machine for simple breaths.
I, Mitchie Torres, never even went to her funeral. I suffered in silence at a rehabilitation center for severe substance abusers.
I killed my best friend.
And that is why, 2 years later, I feel guilt coarsing through me as I play with the small diamond ring that was placed on my finger only a few hours before.
Im getting the life she should have had. I dont deserve this. I am a murder. Even if her parents told me I didnt do anything. Even if in their hearts they know Im at fault. They probably hate me.
I shouldnt have an amazing guy. An incredible guy who I met after I left knows the whole story, and yet today, he still brought me close and set a small box in front of me.
And asked me to marry him. And I said yes. I shouldnt have. This ring should be on Allysa's finger.
I should be the one broken, decomposing, under all that dirt. I should be the one with bugs and bacteria eating at me. Not her.
I asked Shane why would he want to marry a murder? He told me I was never a murder. He sounded like her parents. When I went to go see them. They told me I never did anything. I didnt make her jump. I didnt push her. I didnt get her hooked.
But the thing is. I did. I convinced her that hot, sticky, April day 3 years ago. I handed her, her death scentence. In a little tiny bag. She was hesitant. I told her to do it. She did it.
I did make her jump. I did push her. I did get her hooked.
So while she is being eaten at underground. My guilt of getting to live is eating at me above ground. My guilt of having an amazing guy who wants to be with me, is eating at me. And its killing me.
When Shane asked me, I burst into tears. Not because I was happy, not because I was going to say no. He knew exactly why. And he held me as I cried. I cried for me. I cried for Allysa. I cried for her parents. I cried for my relationship.
Mistakes haunt you forever. No matter how old they are. And no matter how small they were.
My greatest mistake ever will be murdering my best friend. A murder that every one forgives me for. That I will never go on trial for. That I get a second chance for. I am the murder I despise. I am the murder that does not deserve to live. I, Mitchie Torres do not deserve this life.
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Life is a fragile thing, we do not all deserve to keep it. And those of us who do, make one final, nerve shattering choice. That will change lives forever.
Today, I made a nerve shattering choice. One that can never be changed.
I took Allysa's future. The one she threw out with a nerve shattering choice. And molded it into my own. I gave myself that second chance that everyone else has been giving me.
They came. The last people who should have been here came. And they didnt hate me. They congratulated me. They were truly happy for me. The few people on this earth who should hate me. But they dont. And they helped me.
I, Mitchie Torres am no longer a murder. I am a wife. And I deserve to be happy. Even if Allysa will never get to be happy. Her parents gave me that. As my wedding gift. They let me let go of that one mistake.
That I never made. Even if it will always linger, it will no longer torture me as it has for the past years. I can finally start a family, without the horrible reminder that Allysa will never get that.
It was the best wedding gift ever.