Chuck vs The Upgrade
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck!
Author's Note: This is not a crossover with any other fandom. For those of you familiar with the series this takes place in season two. For those who have never seen the show here is a link to the first episode on Youtube. watch?v=Y7XbLmtYRio
Thanks to Oxnate for all his help as a Beta. He made this chapter better and more coherent. I hope you enjoy.
Beta's note: Lebuggycas the Superbeta here again! Although Oxnate did a pretty good job the first time around, Balder trusts my style input and asked for some help with this one. Let's see if we can do two days again!
Chapter One
"I want a girl with a mind like Neil Gaiman," Chuck sang as he loaded stock. "I want a girl who rocks sweater vests." He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Sarah standing behind him. He was getting lost in her blue eyes when he registered she'd asked a question, "I'm sorry, what?"
"What was that you were singing Chuck?" she asked again.
He shrugged, "Oh just a song they keep playing through the overhead here." He noticed then that she was wearing a sweater vest with a deep v-neck. "Oh hey, that's a new uniform. Maybe the owner of the Orange Orange is a fan of the song?" He was hoping she hadn't caught him staring at her cleavage. She kept reminding him she was only his girlfriend as a cover so he was trying to be professional.
She grimaced, "Remember who really owns the yogurt place, Chuck. I think this is some analyst's idea of a joke." She shrugged, then hid a smile at how Chuck was trying and failing, not to look at her chest. "Oh well, it's not any worse than what I wore at Wienerlicious and I think I have the figure to pull it off."
Chuck nodded vigorously, "Oh absolutely."
She smiled, "You're also the first guy to look at my eyes first. Thanks for that."
Just then Casey made his appearance and frowned, "Stop trying to fish for compliments from your boyfriend Walker. Chuck here is needed for an off-site install so we have to get moving." The phrase 'off-site install' was a code they used for when Chuck had to leave during business hours.
Chuck nodded and called out, "Morgan? I'm going on an off-site installation. See you when I get back."
As the three of them left and headed for the yogurt place they were watched by Emmett, the efficiency expert sent by corporate. He immediately went into Big Mike's office and said, "Bartowski is off on another off-site install! Don't you think it's a little suspicious that he goes on more than all the other techs combined?"
"I used to think that," Mike replied. "I even went so far as to call the customers who'd signed off on the installs and pretend it was a customer satisfaction survey. You know what I found out?" When Emmett nodded eagerly Mike smiled, "Everyone of them rated his performance as four stars or higher. Not one of them complained and they all, all mind you, paid for everything on the invoice that same day." The large man behind the desk shrugged, "Do I think there's something going on? Of course I do, I'm not stupid. I checked into it last year. Did you know that Chuck went to Stanford? All of his friends that don't work in this pit are well off and well connected. His sister is a surgeon as is his brother in law. Her in-laws are ridiculously wealthy too. I figure they see Chuck as a charity project and they are the ones who request him to do all these installs."
"Isn't that illegal though?" Emmett asked.
"Hell no son," Mike replied. "As long as they fill out the paperwork and pay for the service it's all legal as hell. Nothing wrong with helping an old friend out. Besides that three installs a week brings the company more than twice what it pays Chuck for working here. Six, which is average for him, is more than enough to pay for him, Grimes, those two delinquents Jeff and Lester, and still show a profit. As long as he keeps bringing that much money in I'm not going to complain no matter how much time he spends out of the store. As long as he's here to clock in, clock out, and listen to my special announcements you won't bother him about those installs either, capisce?"
Emmett looked sour but nodded, "Yes, sir."
Mike smiled, "Good! I'm glad we had this talk now get out of here. I've got work to do."
As Emmett left he saw that the 'work' was actually a box of donuts but he just sighed knowing that he couldn't say anything about that either.
As they left the store Chuck said, "So what's the mission?"
Casey said, "They are about to do maintenance on the computer that held the old intersect before it ended up in your head and if everything goes well they'll load the new version of the intersect and you won't be the only intersect anymore."
"So what happens to me after?" Chuck said.
"Don't worry Chuck," Sarah said. "You'll still be a valuable asset. You just won't be the only game in town anymore. It'll be good, you'll be able to take vacations, get away from us for personal time, and have more of a life."
"A vacation sounds good," Chuck said. He was imagining a tropical beach with him in a beach chair sipping on Mai tais and Sarah in a bikini. He slowed down while imagining this and was roughly brought out of his daydream by a shove from Casey.
"Keep up wingnut!" Casey barked. "We don't want to keep the general waiting while you daydream."
Chuck picked up the pace again saying, "Getting away from you for a week would be a vacation regardless of where I went."
"Same here," Casey said. "You aren't half bad for a civilian with no training but that isn't saying much."
Once inside the yogurt shop they went through a hidden door down to the command center/bunker called The Castle.
General Beckman confirmed what the others had told him then added something that worried him. "Chuck, we wanted to make sure you were in the Castle before they started because some of the techs think your brain might still be somehow connected to the computer." She turned to someone off screen and said, "You may begin to load the new intersect now."
The general turned back to the screen and said, "We've never been exactly sure of the mechanism by which the intersect downloaded itself into your head Mr. Bartowski. Bryce Larkin swore that he was as surprised as the rest of us by what happened. He claims he only meant to hide it on your computer until he could come collect it. Therefore we can't know for certain what will happen during this procedure. The Castle has an infirmary that is better stocked than some hospitals and Agent Walker is qualified in first aid should you require it."
Chuck nodded seriously, "Thank you for thinking of me general but I hope it's not necessary."
"So do we all Chuck," the general replied.
Chuck was about to say something when he suddenly felt very strange. Sarah helped him into a seat and asked if he felt okay. He couldn't answer her properly though. Every word was in a different language.
"Oh dear," the general said. "I was afraid of that." She looked off screen a moment then said, "It's no coincidence that they are loading the Omniglot upgrade now."
"Designed so the intersect will be able to connect clues in other languages?" Casey asked.
"That was the idea but it seems it's all going straight into Chuck's head," General Beckman replied.
Sarah looked worried, "Will Chuck be alright? Is this hurting him do you think?"
The general frowned, "Agent Walker you should try to maintain more emotional distance from the asset you protect. However with that said you did ask a valid question. As far as I know he will be fine. Those scientists who expected this also expected he will be fine after." She turned and typed something off screen while Sarah thanked her and Casey scoffed. "The next few hours will be critical. You are not to let him out of your sight Agent Walker and you are to render any medical or other assistance necessary. I trust you will have no problem with that?"
"No General," Sarah replied.
"Do I have to stay and babysit him too?" Casey asked.
The general replied, "No, in fact, I want you to leave and secure the entrance, Major Casey. Allow no one to enter the castle until you get the okay from me personally. Agent Walker, you are directed to remember that anything he says while indisposed may be highly sensitive and above your clearance. You will not repeat any of it and do your best to forget anything not germane to your operation there. If he says anything you think I or the agency should know about you are to tell me and only me via a secure line. Is that clear to both of you?"
"It's clear General," they both replied.
Chuck stopped speaking in other languages and for a moment his eyes seemed to focus then they went glassy again and suddenly caught Sarah's hand and kissed it. Flowery compliments and innuendo in French, Italian, and English came from his lips as his body language changed.
"Ah, that will be the seduction course that Roan was working on," the general said. "I'd recognize that style anywhere." She smiled fondly then said, "Casey, you need to go now. I'm locking the castle by remote until the upgrades and maintenance are done in four hours. Leave now Major." After Casey had left the general's expression softened a little, "If you are worried about privacy then you may rest assured. The feed from all mikes and cameras from now until I release them will record to my location only and I'll only review them if I think it necessary. If the asset is not injured afterward then no one need see or hear what goes on."
"Thank you General," Sarah said as Chuck kissed his way up her arm. "I'm sure Chuck will be as glad as I am to hear that when he's himself again. If I hear anything important I'll call you on the secure line."
The general nodded and cut the connection.
Hours passed with no word and although Casey tried to access the cameras and microphones, both for morbid curiosity and to gather ammo for further teasing, he was unable to break through the security established by the general.
When Sarah finally called after four hours the general couldn't hide a small smirk at how the usually well-groomed agent looked. She was both sweaty and disheveled and her hair was thoroughly tousled.
"Report Agent Walker," the general said. "Is the asset alright?"
"Yes General Beckman," Sarah said. "He is sleeping now but appears to have taken no permanent harm from the upgrade."
"And I imagine you examined him rather closely?" the general added with a small smile. "That is good news Agent Walker. If all attempted upgraded versions of the intersect end up in Chuck's head he becomes an even more valuable asset. Major Casey has been emailing me for access, can I let him in or should I give you some time to er, spruce up?"
Sarah blushed faintly then smiled, "That would be appreciated, ma'am. I can have us both ready to meet with you and the major in 45 minutes. Is that acceptable?"
"Eminently, I'll see you then," the general said and disconnected.
Forty-five minutes later the door responded to Casey's code and he headed into the castle to find Chuck in rumpled clothing barely keeping his eyes open while Sarah is looking awake, aware, and fresh as a daisy. Chuck had a large mug of black coffee in front of him that he was nursing. Casey grunted in disgust, "Isn't that always the way? I'd be impressed with your stamina Chuck except that you look half dead and Agent Walker looks ready to do a marathon. I'd ask what she did to you but then you might tell me and I'd have to rip my own ears off."
"Thank you for that Major," the general said from the screen she had appeared on unnoticed. "It's nice to know how you really feel about your coworkers and women in general."
Sarah smirked as Casey tried to apologize. The general waved it away, "Don't worry about it, Major. None of what you said is news to me. I'm just calling to make sure Chuck is alright. The computer in the intersect room is empty of everything we uploaded so all that data resides in only one place. How are you, Chuck?"
Chuck yawned, "Sorry for that General Beckman. I'm fine. I don't remember the last few hours but I'm unharmed and I can now speak and read any number of new languages so I'm sure all the other data you uploaded is just fine too. I'm also sure that any chance for me to have a vacation is as defunct as the hardware I'm replacing. It's okay though, I know my country needs me and so I'll help wherever you need me."
The general gave a small smile, "Well actually Chuck, a vacation is in the cards. It will be a working vacation but if you wrap up work before your two weeks are up then you can stay for the remainder of the time on us. We are aware that you are a human being and all humans, no matter how special, need down time so we are sending all three of you to Hawaii. I wish I could tell you it was pure vacation as I'm sure you all deserve one but given your past efficiency I'm sure you'll wrap this one up in plenty of time to have some fun in the sun."
She looked at Chuck's drooping eyelids, "I'm sure you're in no shape to be briefed right now though so you go back to bed and I'll brief Major Casey and Agent Walker. They can brief you when you wake up."
Chuck stood wearily and said, "Thank you General." He left the room and went back to sleep.