Just a quick Daddy Dave one-shot that came to me while I was listening to the song prompt. Far away when a momentous occasion happens for Claire, Dave has to deal with his guilt as Hotch gives him some parenting advice.
Dedicated to all the moms and dads out there who are doing the absolute best job possible. Thank you!
I don't own Criminal Minds.
Song prompt: "I Wanna Be There" by Peter Cetera
I Wanna Be There
Her voice still rang in his ears. It was the sound of what angels in heaven must be like - somewhere between glorious and haunting - and Claire knew how to use it to get what she wanted. Except this time.
He had had to go out of town with the team, and though he tried not to make her any promises - because solving crime had no time limit - he leaned over and whispered in her ear that he would be back lickity split.
With her eyes shining, and smile wide, she hugged him and kissed him good-bye. He was her everything and she worshipped the ground he walked on… He never should have made a promise he couldn't keep.
Tonight she had called him with tears in her voice wanting to know where her daddy was and why he couldn't be there. He had tried to explain that he was doing the best he could but sometimes daddies had to do things they didn't want to. He had expected a tantrum or accusations, but instead she got really quiet before replying, "Like eating your vegetables."
It had taken Dave a moment to gather his thoughts. Recovering, he agreed - what else could he do? For the first time in his life he had been rendered speechless - and by a child no less!
She told him that she would wait for him, and that she loved him. Then she handed the phone to Em.
He tried to apologize for breaking a promise, but Em told him it was no big deal; Claire would recover with no permanent side-effects; he needed to concentrate on the job and catching the bad guy. And to stop worrying. With an "I love you; be safe", she hung up the phone.
Dave stood in his hotel room holding the receiver as his heart broke. So many things in his life he had thought he could over come, but no one had warned him about being a parent. Harder than any case he ever solved, and more elusive than the most deviously intelligent UNSUB - parenting left him scratching his head and wondering when he was ever going to get that brass ring. Writing a book and getting into the mind of a serial killer had never been as difficult as parenting.
And what hurt the most was that Claire didn't hate him. He could handle the tantrum and tears and "I hate you's" but she had inherited her mother's calm understanding and compartmentalizing. Hanging up the receiver, Dave sat on the side of the bed and held his head. Em was wrong, Claire was going to grow up to rob banks and it was going to be his fault.
Now the case was solved, and the team was flying back home to DC. In the western horizon the sun was setting, while in the east the sky was already dark with night.
Sitting in the passenger seat, Dave stared out the window as he tried to will the jet to fly a little faster. Em had called him before they boarded and gave him the good news. He told her to do what she needed to, to keep things happy. But there was still that heaviness in his heart.
"Are you alright?" Hotch asked, taking a seat across from the senior agent.
"Just thinking." Dave continued to stare out the window at the black sky.
"Em called you. Was it about Claire?"
"Yeah. She lost her first tooth."
"Ah." Hotch felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. Was it coincidence or fate that this moment had arrived?
"I missed it."
"Ah."
"I promised her that I would be there." Dave shot his best friend a hard look. "If you say 'ah' again, I will toss you out the plane." Hotch gave a slight chuckle. "What's so funny?"
"You. This. I never thought I'd see you in the role of daddy."
"Neither did I."
"You wear it well."
Dave gave a snort. "I missed two of her birthdays, a school play, and now her first tooth…she could very well grow up to be a serial killer."
"That's not true," Hotch argued.
"I'm a profiler; I can read these things. We've gone after people who had better lives and became killers."
"True." Hotch paused for a moment.
"How did you do it?" Dave wondered a loud.
"What?" Hotch's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"Deal with missing all the important things in Jack's life?"
Hotch shrugged. "Luck. And not letting myself getting overwhelmed by guilt. You can only do so much as a parent and what you fail at, you learn from. Make it up where you can and let the rest roll off your back."
Dave looked at his friend and mentor, then looked away. "I promised her I would get there."
"Things happen; life happens. And you learn that the only thing you can promise any child is that you will love them forever and unconditionally."
"There should be some kind of handbook that comes with being a parent," Dave groused under his breath.
"Where would the fun be in that?" Hotch asked, his eyes snapping with mischief.
Dave reached for the newspaper on the seat beside him. Opening it, he glanced up at Hotch. "Thanks."
"Any time." Hotch stood up and stretched. "Remember that it's the quality and not quantity of time you spend together. Though, if you don't take Claire out for ice cream to celebrate, she could very well grow up to be a bank robber." Giving a wink, Hotch moved toward the aft of the jet.
"I hate you sometimes," Dave mumbled and buried his face in the paper.
****
Unlocking the front door, Dave crept into the foyer. Setting everything down on the table, he reached down and patted the eager black Lab who was enthusiastically greeting him.
"Hi, Mudgie. Where is Em?" he asked softly.
"In here," Em called out from the sitting room. Dave followed the dog to where Em sat rocking a sleeping Claire.
"She's not in bed?" Dave wondered a loud and bent down to kiss Claire's warm forehead and then his wife.
"She heard that you were coming home and wanted to stay up to greet you." Em shifted the little girl's weight and sat up.
Dave looked down at the piece of white paper that caught his eye. "What is that?"
"Her tooth. She wanted to save it for you before the Tooth Fairy arrived," Em whispered. "I need to put her in bed."
"Don't," Dave ordered and took the sleeping girl from Em's arms, "I'll do it." Cuddling Claire close, he flashed a hungry look at Em. "Meet me upstairs in a few minutes."
Climbing the stairs, Dave walked to the door heavily decorated with princesses and talking cars. Nudging it open with his hip, he made his way over to the bed and set his daughter down. Gently he pulled the purple comforter up and tucked her in. Kissing her warm forehead, he started to tip toe out.
"Daddy?" Claire's small voice whispered.
Dave turned around. "Yes, mi piccola?" He sat down on the edge of the bed and turned on the small lamp.
"My tooth fell out," she commented as a big yawn overwhelmed her. Her hand came out from under the covers. "I kept it for you." Dave opened his hand as she deposited the Kleenex wrapped tooth.
"That was very nice of you," Dave choked as tears filled his eyes.
Claire looked up with sleep heavy eyes. "Put it under my pillow so the Tooth Fairy will find it." Another yawn grabbed her.
Dave reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a green slip of paper and slipped it under the little girl's pillow. "There you go," he whispered.
"Can we get ice cream tomorrow?"
Dave nodded. "Yes, we can."
Snuggling down into her pillow, Claire smiled as she gave into sleep. "I love you, Daddy…"
Touching her soft cheek, Dave watched her for a minute, then stood up. He felt a tear slip down his cheek as he looked at the tooth in his palm. Closing his hand into a fist, he looked at his daughter. "I love you, too," he whispered.
Pocketing the tooth, he leaned down and turned off the lamp.
Then he turned around and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.
The End