A/N: Hey everyone! So I started writing this right after the season 2 finale. I've got a good chunk of it done. I've gone over and over this first chapter trying to make sure it's okay and hoping that it expresses everything I hoped it would.
Please let me know what you think! I love to read your thoughts! Thanks so much!
The sun was setting over the horizon by the time the plane touched down in Starling City. Felicity watched out the small windows as they coasted along the runway, a chill dancing up her spine at the few billowing clouds of smoke she could see rising from various places amongst the buildings.
The damage Slade and his army had caused was still very much present and once again, Starling would have to rebuild.
Her mind wandered back a year to the aftermath of the Undertaking. Chaos had reigned for months after the destruction in the Glades; crime climbed steadily until the police could no longer keep up with it. Her normally safe neighborhood hadn't felt as safe anymore. After a particularly bad spree of attacks in the area, Diggle had insisted on following her home every night, and she never refused.
It had taken almost a year but the city had seemingly gotten back onto somewhat stable ground only to have it ripped out from beneath them once again.
This time the damage wasn't contained to a specific part of the city either. Slade's men had sprung up everywhere and caused as much destruction as they could before converging in that tunnel.
According to her police scans that she kept checking even as they were halfway across the world, they were once again overwhelmed by the sheer number of calls. Reports of civilian casualties and damaged property continued to rise. And without a mayor or chief of police, there was no steady leadership or control.
The military had set up camp in the city. National guard members keeping the peace as best as they could despite the situation. Felicity knew there were ARGUS agents spread throughout, Waller wanting ears on the ground just in case there were rumblings of any more of Slade's army or mirakuru.
Chaos seemed to have taken over the city they called home once more and her heart ached for peace again.
She didn't realize the plane had stopped until a gentle hand on her shoulder jolted her out of her thoughts. Blinking, she tilted her head up to see Oliver leaning over her, his brow furrowed, concern creasing his brow.
"You okay?" he asked softly, and while there were various answers to that particular question, she simply smiled and pushed to her feet as he stepped back, instantly missing the warmth of his hand when it fell from her shoulder.
As they descended the steps from the plane, the realization struck her that she would be returning to her townhouse for the first time in days. It seemed like it had been weeks since she'd been there. In actuality, it had only been a few days; a few long and life changing days.
Her thoughts quickly wandered to her neighbors, hoping they were okay. She knew they elderly couple that lived in the townhouse to her right rarely left their home. The thought of something happening to them caused her stomach to twist. Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she hoped they'd made it out if anything had happened close to their street.
Oliver hand came into her line of vision at the last step and she looked up, her lips twitching upward in thanks as he helped to steady her as her feet touched solid ground once more. Their eyes locked as heat sparked through their fingertips, his calloused pads against her smooth skin. The butterflies in her stomach erupted in a chaos of fluttering wings as his gaze softened; that same look entering his eyes as he had worn on so many occasions before when it was just the two of them and the world around them seemed to melt away.
It wasn't until Diggle cleared his throat that Felicity realized she'd been staring up at Oliver, once again trying to read his face - getting lost in all the emotions flashing through his darkened blue eyes. Whispered words still echoed in her ears and she released a long breath as she slipped her hand from his grasp and turned towards Diggle.
Smoothing out her skirt in a nervous habit, she regarded the man she thought of as her big brother. Lyla stood by his side, arm looped through his and she smiled at the happy look on the woman's face. Diggle had told them both that she was expecting on the plane ride to Lian Yu. Felicity had immediately seen the flash of surprise and something that looked a lot like fear flash through Oliver's eyes before he clapped his friend on the back in congratulations, quickly hiding those emotions behind his well-built wall. Digg, of course, had seen right through his attempt to cover it and had shared a look with her moments later when Oliver had looked back out over the ocean.
She'd immediately known Oliver was worried about losing his friend. She knew Oliver wouldn't blame John if he wanted to get out now that there was a new life depending on him. But Felicity knew John and she knew that both Lyla and he weren't ones to give up their jobs just because they were dangerous.
She remembered a conversation she'd had with him during one of their daily morning coffee dates last summer when it had just been the two of them - Oliver disappearing after the Undertaking. Diggle and Carly had hit a rough patch in their relationship after he'd sent them away just before the Undertaking had happened. While he had made weekend trips out to see them and made every attempt to attend as many of AJ's tee-ball games as he could, it was a strain on their relationship to be so far away from each other.
The morning after a particularly bad fight between them, she'd sat with him in a corner booth at her favorite coffee house, tracing the edge of her coffee cup with her forefinger as she broached the subject. She quietly asked him how he reconciled the danger of working with Oliver or even his job as a bodyguard with having a relationship. One wrong move and he could be forever gone from their lives.
John had sighed, his broad shoulders lifting up and down as he ran a hand over his face, thinking about his answer.
And then he'd looked at her and said with no hint of uncertainty, "I do this for them. It's why I joined the military and it's why I work with Oliver to keep this city safe - to keep the people I love safe."
Felicity had smiled, reaching across the table and covering his hand with her own. There was a moment of silent understanding that passed between them and then she had changed the subject to her newest project she'd been designing for the Foundry, but she never forgot his answer and as she listened to him talk about his impending fatherhood, those words came back to her.
John Diggle was a man who would never stop protecting those he loved. He and Oliver were so very similar in that way. Even if they would never admit it.
"Felicity?" she heard her name being called and her eyes flew to John's as his eyebrows rose in question, and she cleared her throat.
"Sorry...what did you say?" she asked, looking around at the three of them, and then for the first time noticing two different cars.
"John's going to take Lyla home," Oliver stepped up beside her, giving his friend a nod, "I'm going to take you."
For some reason, Felicity felt her cheeks flush at the words and was glad that the shadows of evening hid it from view.
"Right," she nodded, looking around for her bag that she'd had on the plane.
"Already in the car," Oliver told her, and she raised her eyebrows in mock surprise, murmuring a thank you to Oliver, before stepping up to Diggle.
"See you soon," she said, planting a kiss on his cheek as he wrapped her in strong, safe arms.
He nodded as he set her back. "Yeah. You bet. You going to be okay?" he asked and she nodded, giving him the best smile she could muster.
"I will be," she replied, knowing she couldn't lie to him. "We're okay."
"If you need anything…" he persisted and this time Felicity shoved at his arm.
"Go spend time with Lyla. Don't worry about us," she said and gave him a genuine smile to which he finally nodded after a brief hesitation.
After bidding Lyla goodbye, she headed towards the car behind them while Oliver talked with Digg for a moment.
Opening the door, she slid into the cool leather of the passenger seat and, once the door was closed behind her, she let her head fall back onto the headrest. Her eyes slipped closed and for a moment, a silence that almost seemed too loud rang in her ears. Memories of mansion foyers and whispered words, jabbing a needle into Slade's throat and the feeling of cold metal against her throat and piercing blue eyes looking at her with nothing but confidence and reassurance. It all came rushing back to her and her eyes flew open with a gasp as she sat forward, clutching at her chest, gulping in air.
A moment later, Oliver slid into the driver's side, turning worried eyes on her as she sat back, willing her body to calm down.
"Hey," Oliver said softly, hand halfway to her shoulder when she shook her head.
"I'm okay...it's just been a long few days…"she answered weakly and he let out a long breath and nodded in agreement, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them and finding hers once more, blue eyes swimming with concern and understanding.
"My own bed sounds wonderful right about now," she murmured and he smiled softly, turning on the ignition and putting the car in gear.
"Then let's get you home."
For some reason, her heart ached at that word, knowing that her townhouse wasn't really her home; she'd long ago gave another place that name.
As Oliver drove, she let her head fall back against the seat once more and watched the city go by, evidence of the destruction left by Slade's men everywhere. They were detoured three times before they finally got close to her street. It was the line of armoured vehicles blocking the way that made her stomach drop; a cold ball of trepidation growing steadily in her stomach.
Felicity frowned and opened her door before Oliver had even shut off the engine. She could see the billows of smoke rising from beyond the barrier and wondered how much damage there was to her neighborhood.
A young man in uniform greeted them, emerging from one of the armoured vehicles.
"Good evening, ma'am, sir...this sector is off limits to civilians," he informed them briskly. "I'm sorry but you'll have to find another way…"
"I live here," Felicity blurted out, eyebrows furrowed. "My townhouse is just down the street."
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but there was heavy damage caused by an explosion. Until the buildings can be deemed structurally safe, no one is allowed in to stay here."
"Oh." It seemed like an inadequate response but it was one thing too much. She wasn't sure how to process the idea that she couldn't even get back to her own place.
The reality of the situation hit her all at once. She had no job, no place to live...not even a change of clothes…
Before she could completely follow her thoughts into that dark abyss, she felt a warm hand at her back, and she unconsciously took a tiny step back into it.
"Do you have a place to stay, miss?" the young officer asked, his voice weary from too many hours on the job.
She hesitated, frowning until Oliver spoke up. "Yes, she does," he told the officer as his hand cupped her elbow in support.
Blinking watery eyes, she turned her head and gave him a grateful look. Her mind briefly asked the immediate question of where he was even staying considering half of the places he owned had been taken away or destroyed.
"Can I at least get some of my things?" she asked the officer, her voice cracking slightly.
The man frowned and shook his head, an apologetic look crossing his face. "I'm sorry. If you come back in the morning, someone might be able to let you in but we don't let anyone past the barriers at night. The electricity and gas have been shut off to the buildings and it's not safe."
With a heavy sigh, she nodded, her shoulders sagging in resignation until Oliver gave her elbow a light squeeze. Seconds later, he found herself thanking the officer before he quickly led her back over to the car.
When the doors were shut and had once again blocked out the outside world, she closed her eyes and tried to rein in her emotions that were teetering on the edge of a precipice. So much had happened in such a short amount of time and, in so many ways, she just wanted to curl up in her bed in her favorite MIT shirt and sleep, but she couldn't.
"We'll come back tomorrow and find out more," Oliver's voice broke through the silence and her eyes popped open to find him looking at her with heavy concern.
She gave him a watery smile, not trusting her voice at that moment.
His gaze held hers for a moment longer than necessary, that feeling in the pit of her stomach starting to unfurl and then it was over as he glanced away and started the engine.
As they drove, she only had to wonder briefly where they were headed. As they began to leave the city behind them, taking the familiar roads back to the mansion, she could feel the tension begin to flow through her.
It wasn't until her fingers began to ache that she realized she was clasping them together so tightly in her lap that her knuckles had turned white. Memories ate away at her as they pulled up into the darkened drive, no security at the gate to greet them.
When Oliver turned off the engine, they both sat in complete silence for seconds that seemed to last for minutes. Then, with a soft sigh, Oliver pushed open his door and got out. Felicity's fingers fumbled with the door handle until it opened with Oliver on the other side.
She refused to meet his gaze as she climbed out and he shut the door behind them. Her eyes flickered to the steps in front of them and up to the massive stone structure.
"This was ours outright," Oliver said quietly, "Dad never wanted us living in a place that wasn't truly our own."
His voice sounded far away but she nodded just the same, and let him lead her up the stairs.
He quickly unlocked the door and ushered her inside, closing and setting the security system the second the door closed behind them.
Felicity turned as Oliver pressed in the last of the code, eyes adjusting to the darkened entranceway. She began to take a step forward and then stopped short as she stared at the foyer.
Memories swirled around her; emotions surrounding her until her feet felt like lead and she couldn't move.
The last time they had been here he'd told her things she'd never dreamed he would say to her. Words that echoed in her head even now, louder than ever.
Her heart pounded in her chest and she breathed in deeply trying to settle her fraying nerves. Their conversation on the island came back to her - or rather, her rambling and his silence. He hadn't agreed with her; hadn't told her that the words were all a ruse. And deep in her heart, she knew that there was truth behind everything he'd said. He meant those words - as much as he could mean them.
Her heart flipped as she recalled how close he'd been standing, the blood that had rushed through her ears almost drowning out everything that came after those three words. Then, the cold realization that had followed so quickly as he'd pressed the syringe into her hand.
A light touch at her elbow caused her to jump and she clapped a hand over her breast as she blinked up to find Oliver standing in front of her, brows drawn together in concern but she could also see the turmoil that matched her own swimming in the deep blue oceans. He was remembering too. It was written all over his face - the realization that they were once again back in the same place they'd been not 48 hours earlier. Those words still floating in the space between them.
She wasn't sure how long they stood in the entryway, staring at each other. The emotions she saw flit across his eyes gave her pause. Worry and fear crossed first, but then she saw flashes of longing - the same that he wore back on the beach - and sadness...honesty...a sea of so many different things that she found herself trying desperately to keep up. The warmth in his gaze filled her with hope and she couldn't help but draw in a gasping breath as she drank that feeling in, holding onto it.
She knew they weren't ready. She wasn't even sure she completely understood everything that had passed between them in that moment. She knew what was in her heart, of course. The feelings she had for the man in front of her weren't new. A part of her had been drawn to him since the day he'd walked into her office with a laptop full of bullet holes and a ridiculous lie. That draw had quickly turned to admiration and then to something deeper as she learned his secret and began to work side by side with him.
After his return from the island, they'd only grown closer until she found her heart wrapped so tightly around him, the mere thought of ever losing him scared her more than she liked to admit. He'd carved out a place in her heart and she knew that no one else would be able to fill it. But she'd never thought he would reciprocate those feelings. And she'd made peace with that - knowing that as long as Oliver was happy, it would be okay.
But now...now, she'd heard him say the words with so much honesty and openness in his eyes that she knew...she knew.
It was new territory; one in which she wasn't sure how to proceed, but she did know one thing - she didn't want to lose him.
"Hey," he breathed, palm skimming down her arm before his touch disappeared, breaking her from her runaway thoughts.
She watched as he struggled for words until finally he found something, "You know…" he took a breath, "You know I could never lie to you…"
HIs words caused all the air to rush out of her in one big exhale.
Tears clogging her throat, she nodded and gave him a soft smile. "I know…"
"I just…" he began again, but then stopped, looking so lost for words. He wasn't ready. They weren't ready. But that didn't mean his words weren't real or that they didn't hold weight. She saw it all in his eyes, and answered with another soft, "I know…"
Her fingers found his and they both held on tight as unspoken words passed between them easily.
After a few moments, he tugged on her hand, "Come on…"
He only took two steps before her shoes hit something, sending it skittering across the floor. She froze, her eyes darting to the ground and all the breath left her body as she saw shards of a broken tablet screen staring up at her. It was her tablet. The one she'd been holding when Slade's men came to take her. She'd tried to keep them from taking it but it had been torn from her fingers before she could even cry in protest.
Flashes of the panic and fear she'd felt as she'd paced this very foyer waiting to be taken; waiting in the silence, every sound making her jump until she was barely moving, her entire body on edge.
Her vision tunneled down to the shattered screen, glinting in the pale moonlight filtering in through the large windows. She fought to breath, but it was as if her lungs had stopped working and she could only take in small gasps at a time.
It wasn't until Oliver's familiar boots came into view and his large hands framed her face, urging her head up that everything snapped back into focus. With a heavy gasp, she let him tilt her head upwards, meeting his wide eyes as they looked at her with worry.
The low tones of his voice reached her ears but she frowned when she heard the strained note, searching his gaze and finding that she wasn't the only one affected by the sight of her broken tablet at her feet. His eyes flitted down to it on more than one occasion and she saw the pain behind the concern.
Bringing still shaking hands up, she wrapped her fingers around his wrists and held on, finding the thrumming of his pulse point a comfort as the memories began to fade.
It wasn't until her breathing had returned to normal that he slowly let his hands fall from her cheeks to her shoulders, squeezing gently before releasing her completely.
"Sorry," she murmured, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I…"
"Shh," he hushed her, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to maintain his own composure, overwhelming guilt flashing across his face.
"I…" he began, and then abruptly stopped, his eyes dropping to the broken tablet once more before immediately finding her gaze and locking onto it. "Leaving you here was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."
The deep timbre of his voice - rough with emotion - caused her chest to expand as she inhaled sharply.
His eyes swept over her face, and for a brief second, he was stripped bare before her - the gut-wrenching turmoil and heartache that he'd gone through by putting that plan into motion staring back at her.
Before she could open her mouth to respond, he had turned away, one hand reaching back and finding hers effortlessly, and she held on tightly.
With easy, measured steps, he led her to one of the large staircases and started up, until she remembered something and her step faltered.
He turned when he felt the pull from her hand, a frown creasing his features. "Felicity?"
"The cameras…" she whispered, eyes looking around and suddenly she was back here all alone waiting for Slade's men to come.
A shiver ran down her spine and Oliver must have felt it because his hand tightened over hers.
"Sara took care of them for me," he told her, taking a step backwards onto her level. "She did it before she left with Nyssa...while we were with ARGUS…"
Taking a deep breath, Felicity nodded, letting some of the tension flow from her body. The sensation of being watched still stuck with her - memories hitting her hard as she recalled pacing the foyer and up and down the mansion steps, just waiting to be taken, wondering if he could see her; if he was watching her every move.
"We're safe," he reassured her and Felicity willed the images away and nodded her head, exhaling softly.
When Oliver started back up the stairs, she was by his side, letting him lead her to the right and down a long hallway.
He headed straight for a room on his left, pushing the door open and walking inside. Then as if he'd run into a wall, he stopped suddenly, his hand tightening on hers as he surveyed the space before him.
Although she'd never been in his room, she instantly knew that's exactly where he'd lead them. Shadows clung to the corners as Oliver stared at the expanse in front of him as if staring into the past. Taking one more step so she was at his side, she saw the turmoil on his face; knew he was thinking of times past and how much had changed since he'd last been here.
She squeezed his fingers, as her eyes took in the room, flitting from the large dresser to the tall ceilings and floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the property and finally landing on the large king size bed in the center. Suddenly, it was all too much. Being in this room, his words still floating through her head with him by her side, hand in hand.
It was one thing to know he hadn't lied to her; to know the truth. It was another to be in such a private space at his side so soon afterwards, the warmth of his skin next to hers. Images flashed before her eyes of lazy mornings and strong arms wrapped around her as she woke, tanned skin against the white bedsheets drawing lazy patterns on her bare back.
Her chest tightened and she must have made a noise because Oliver turned to look at her but she was frozen to the spot. Yearning swept through her hard and fast and she knew she couldn't stay in here. Her fingers went slack against him and she would have taken a step backwards if she could have made her feet move.
As if reading her mind, or perhaps because he couldn't face the memories the room brought him, he mumbled a hoarse and throaty, "Wait here," as he swiftly crossed to the large dresser and pulled out an old pair of sweats and a grey t-shirt.
Then he was back at her side, grabbing her hand once more and leading them back through the door, swiping a grey hoodie off a chair as they went.
Once they were back in the hallway, Oliver turned left, walking in even, measured steps until they stopped in front of another door.
With a long breath, he pushed open the heavy oak and led her inside. He flicked on the lights and the room was instantly bathed in golden hues of iridescent light. Her eyes swept over the expansive area and spied the large bed on one side, hearth on the other with two doors to her left and one to her right. It wasn't quite as large as Oliver's room but it was still bigger than most of her townhouse.
Motioning to the one of the two doors to the left, he quietly murmured, "Bathroom's through there. The other is the closet..."
His hand suddenly slackened in hers as he let go of her fingers and walked to the door on the right. She immediately missed the warmth of his touch and curled her fingers inward. With a furrowed brow, she watched as he turning the knob and opened the door. Surprise washed over her to see it led to an adjoining room that looked slightly smaller than the one in which she stood.
When he turned back to her, he answered her unspoken question. "This used to be the nursery," he said tiredly, "After Thea outgrew it, mother turned it into another guest room."
Felicity's heart ached when his voice cracked on the word 'mother. So much pain still clung to him, tearing at him constantly.
"I can't…" She frowned when he lifted his head to stare at her and she saw the desperation in his eyes. "I can't stay in my room," he whispered, agony filling his voice and she knew he was overwhelmed to even be back in this house with all the memories it stirred up within him. "I'll stay here and you can have this room. If you need anything…"
Felicity nodded, wrapping her hands around her stomach unconsciously at the thought of being alone for the first time since this entire nightmare with Slade and his army had started. Icy tendrils of trepidation crept through her as the haunting memories of being here alone swept over her once more. Anger flared within her at feeling so helpless - that Slade could still reach them even now - and so she shook her head, refusing to let him have power over her - over them - anymore.
With a soft breath she opened her eyes to find Oliver three steps back into the room, frown etched across his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, erasing the distance between them until he could reach out and touch her if needed.
Felicity bit down on her bottom lip and tried to regain her balance, trying to shove the those fears into the back of her mind. Letting out a long breath, she looked down and then realized she still wore the pants, t-shirt and jacket from the plane. All of her things were still in her townhouse, miles away.
She fumbled for words before finally blurting out, "I just...I don't have anything to wear."
He stared at her for a long time, eyes searching hers until she knew he could see it all that she couldn't and didn't want to hide from him.
After a few more moments, he finally broke their gaze and ran a hand over his short cropped hair. She could feel the heat from his touch through her jacket as his fingers skim down the underside of her arm, gently leading her over to one of the other doors.
"Thea used this room to store some of her extra clothes," he stated, in the same detached voice he'd used when talking about his mother. "There should be something in here…"
She let him disappear into the closet, giving him a moment by himself. He returned in less than a minute holding a pair of soft cotton sleep shorts and large t-shirt.
With a grateful smile, she took the clothes from his outstretched hand and held them close to her chest.
"Thanks," she murmured, exhaustion hitting her hard and fast, eyelids growing heavier by the moment.
At his nod, she turned towards the bathroom. Just inside the doorway, she stopped as she flicked on the light and then glanced over her shoulder.
Oliver stood in the same spot, eyes still trained on her, a sad yet thankful desperation to his gaze. The longing directed her way was almost too much for her to bear and she could only give him a small nod before she turned and slowly closed the door.
The click of the lock echoed in the large space causing her to jump and she mentally scolded herself. She'd stood up against Deathstroke - a crazed mad-man with superhuman strength - she could handle the lurking shadows and chilling memories of the last time she'd been alone in this house.
Felicity changed in record time, pulling her hair tie out and letting her blonde hair spill down over her shoulders. She found a new toothbrush and toothpaste still in the cabinet by the sink and used it quickly. Wiping her face with a washcloth she found in the drawer, she sighed, taking in her tired expression in the mirror - wondering if she would be able to sleep without nightmares invading her dreams.
When she stepped back into the bedroom, Oliver was no where to be seen. A chill ran down her spine and she almost called out for him - his name on the tip of her tongue when she saw the soft glow of light from the other room spilling into hers. She let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding when she realized he was nearby.
Crossing the distance in her barefeet, she peered into the slightly smaller room adjoining to hers. She found Oliver sitting on the side of the bed, head in his hands, the clothes he'd grabbed from his room now on in place of the cargo pants and jacket he'd worn off the plane.
As if feeling her presence, he immediately lifted his head and found her gaze. A flurry of emotions tumbled through his blue eyes and she couldn't keep her own body from responding.
it was almost too much after everything that had happened and she quickly found herself breathing out a soft, "Goodnight,"before she turned and padded towards the large bed in the center of the room.
When she'd climbed in and laid her head down on the pillow, she was surprised to find the door to their rooms still open, Oliver's silhouette in the doorway.
"Good night, Felicity," he called softly, his voice rough with emotion that sent warmth shooting through her. Then, with a small breath, he turned off his own light and stepped away, leaving the doors to their rooms wide open.
Somehow the fact that she could see where he was gave her comfort and she let herself drift off, images of blue eyes and three words whispered in his soft voice playing through her mind.
Cold metal at her throat, the feel of her warm blood slipping down her neck and Oliver's pained cry caused her to jolt awake with a gasp. Somehow she managed to hold back his name that was on the tip of her lips, begging to be released.
Untangling her legs from the sheets, she threw them off, grateful for the cool air on her overheated skin. She ran her sweaty palms over her face, and pulled in deep breaths as she tried to calm her racing heart.
The image of Slade looming over her was imprinted on the back of her eyelids, and her dream had been about everything going wrong as they'd confronted him, and ended with her bleeding out on the cold concrete floor, Oliver's face hovering above her in agony. The last thought running through her mind that she had failed him.
Her eyes flew to the still open door between their rooms, almost expecting him to be in the doorway. Something deep inside of her ached to feel his arms around her and the safety his mere presence gave her. But she banished those thoughts knowing that she couldn't…
They were still trying to navigate that line those three words had crossed and she wasn't sure what would happen if she went to him now.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she scrambled out of the king-sized bed and walked the length of the room, trying to rid herself of the shadows of her nightmares.
Moonlight provided enough light for her to maneuver around the large room and she spotted the couch off to the side, positioned in front of the large armoire that held a flat screen tv.
Walking over to it, she let herself sink into the plush fabric and curled up against one side. Her body now cooled, a draft caused her to shiver and she wrapped her arms across her stomach as she reached for the remote and turned on the television, making sure to immediately thumb down the volume, hoping she hadn't woken Oliver.
She flipped through the channels until she found something she could watch and then set the remote next to her.
She felt his presence before she saw him. Turning her head to the side, she found him only a few feet from the end of the couch, staring at her with a mixture of concern and relief. Shadows haunted his own gaze and she knew he'd been woken from nightmares as well.
Giving him a small smile, she brought her feet up closer to her body, opening up the end of the couch for him. He took the silent invitation almost immediately, letting his body relax back into the cushions. Her foot brushed against his thigh and she fought the urge to tuck her toes beneath the warmth radiating from him.
Another draft swept over her skin and she shivered involuntarily, curling in on herself.
She thought about asking Oliver where a blanket was but before she could, she felt him shift. Her eyes flew to his as he unzipped the grey hoodie she remembered him grabbing from his room and stood, taking the few steps over to kneel down in front of her. Gently, he wrapped it around her shoulders, thumbs flexing against her upper arms.
His hands lingered at her elbows and she felt the breath catch in her throat as his eyes silently asked her if she was okay. Briefly, she wondered if he hadn't been awake long before her and heard her nightmare. The haunted look in his eyes all but confirmed that he'd had his own and part of his light touch was to make sure that she was in fact alive and okay.
With a long breath, she slipped her arms through the sleeves and found herself encompassed in Oliver's scent. His hands found hers and gave them a soft squeeze which she responded to immediately. Glancing down, she regarded the image of their fingers interlaced, and it drew a deep longing from a special place in her heart.
His head bowed as he let out a long sigh and then he stood, returning to his place on the other end of the couch. This time she didn't hesitate to let her toes push against his sweatpants-clad thigh, digging them beneath the warmth provided. Snuggling down into the cushions, she let her gaze drift back to the television. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Oliver do the same and for the first time since she'd fallen asleep, she felt the fears running through her mind and the remnants of her nightmare disappear.
She wasn't sure how long they watched in silence before her eyelids grew heavy once more, but when she stopped fighting sleep, she felt safe again with him there beside her.
Soft streams of the earliest morning light met greeted her when she woke. For a moment, lost in the fog of sleep, she found herself smiling, pushing her feet further against the warmth they were nestled next to, and sighed.
The memories came flooding back as the last threads of sleep left her. She inhaled sharply as tiny bits of the previous days flashed through her mind and she found it suddenly very hard to breath.
With wide eyes, she whipped her head to the side and found Oliver's sleeping form still at the other end of the couch. The sight of him calmed her and she let her head fall back to the pillow, her gaze never leaving him and the peaceful look he wore.
Her eyes traveled over the planes of his face, those whispered words in the foyer of the mansion coming back to her and causing a lump to rise in her throat.
Her heart ached at the memory. Regardless of the circumstances, the truth of his words had been written all over his face. She'd given him an out; a chance to take it all back and tell her once and for all it had only been a ruse, but he hadn't. He'd listened to her ramble and smiled sadly at her and it made her heart break.
Knowing what your heart felt and being able and ready to accept and take that step into those feelings were two very different things.
As she watched Oliver sleep, she couldn't help her mind wandering to what it would be like if they could simply be together without the threat of danger or the obvious baggage that plagued him keeping them apart.
A sound so desperate rose in her throat and tumbled from her lips that once it escaped into the air, she clamped her mouth shut, the feeling in her chest so full of longing she could barely breath.
At the noise, Oliver stirred, body tensing as his eyes snapped opened and his gaze landed on her. Tears filled her eyes and she held her breath as they stared at each other, neither moving nor speaking but an entire conversation taking place between them.
It wasn't until she felt the soft and reassuring sensation of his fingers moving over her skin that she realized at some point in the night, his hand hand found her leg, as if he needed to somehow touch her to make sure she was still there.
His thumb moved in slow circles along her calf and the sensations that it caused to travel through her made her heart race.
As if realizing this, his fingers abruptly stilled but his hand remained until she reached down and covered it with her own, twining their fingers together and holding on tight.
The soft din of the television was the only sound in the room, and it wasn't until a news flash sounded and the words "Starling City" caught their attention that they looked away from each other.
Felicity stared in horror at the pictures that scrolled across the screen; the city in various stages of ruin, much like it had been after the Undertaking. This time, however, it was more widespread. Slade's army hadn't solely focused their attention on one spot - they had spread out and taken on the whole city.
Her stomach churned as they showed people waiting outside of the hospital which apparently also had been damaged and had lost power in the melee. The back-up generators were working but severe cases were being airlifted out of the city.
Felicity felt Oliver's grip tighten in hers and she let out a choked sob, as she turned to see the conflicted look on his face.
Guilt flashed in his eyes and she tugged on his hand until his gaze fell away from the screen and back to her.
"This is not your fault," she stated with determination, "You didn't do this so don't even start down that road. Slade did this. And we stopped him and now we are going to help rebuild the city once again."
Forcing the words out of her mouth brought her a sense of peace as if saying them aloud helped her believe them. Starling City had proved to be resilient before; and this time they'd have the Arrow in the aftermath.
Oliver's jaw twitched as he held her gaze until finally his head dipped in acknowledgement and she gave him the best encouraging smile she could muster.
"We should head to the Foundry and see what we can salvage and then go find out more about your place," he murmured after a few moments, scrubbing his free hand over his face.
She nodded, relief filling her to hear him making a plan and focusing on the next steps.
"I'm going to go take a shower," he said a few moments later, shifting forward on the couch.
Sliding her hand from his, Felicity drew her hands to the edges of the hoodie he'd given her the night before and wrapped it further around her. "I think I will too…"
His eyes darkened slightly when he turned his head to look at her, gaze dropping to her hands and then back to her face. Her cheeks warmed as she realized he was reacting to the her grip on his hoodie. She almost began to take it off to give back when he stood in one fluid motion. He gave her one more long look before he turned and headed for his room, leaving her staring after him, her emotions once again in overdrive as she watched him disappear.