Expanded summary: Why is Ron getting dumber? Why is Hermione becoming a fangirl? And why is Voldemort suddenly becoming more powerful then ever before? Can a new and improved Harry defeat him? Not by himself! Thanks to the Gatekeeper, characters from many other universes are arriving to lend a hand. Unfortunately, it's about to get very crowded... and ever more confusing.
Chapter One:
It started out as a normal day for the Hogwarts Trio. Normal for them, however, was not quite normal even for the rest of the wizarding world (which compared to the muggle world was pretty unusual). Harry was trying to ignore his two friends who were being much more annoying then normal, having realized that they were made for each other. This came about when they realized that they bickered like an old married couple at least twice a day.
Ron was talking about Quidditch and being remarkably thick. He was so engrossed in his discussion of the Chudley Cannon's recent losses that he had not realized that he was tracking in dragon dung from the pumpkin patch (they had just gone to see Hagrid). Hermione was buried in a book called 'The Lord of the Rings' which Harry had seen Dudley pick up once. Dudley could not read above a 7 year old level and had thrown it away in disgust. Harry had crept over and snuck it back into his cupboard. The world of wizards, elves, dragons, trolls etc was so amazing that he had wearied himself every night reading it before bed. Sadly, his Aunt Petunia had caught him and had taken it.
"How far along are you?" asked Harry.
"Oh, I'm to the part where they meet Tom Bombadil. They cut him from the movie."
"There's a movie?" said Harry blankly.
"Oh yes, and they left the poor fellow out."
"I usually skip the whole first book," said Harry absently as they walked along the bridge that led back to the castle.
"Oh, but you shouldn't Harry. The beginning is so wonderful…" and she went on and on about how cute hobbits were, almost like house elves. House elves were short, Harry'd give her that. But the fact was they were ugly with blobish or pencil shaped noses, and heads like potatoes. They lacked hairy feet, good manners, tremendous appetites, and were also pretty damn ugly. But then again Hermione seemed to be remarkably attached to S.P.E.W. The fact was, it was her baby. And Harry had enough respect for maternal instinct to not mess with anyone's baby.
The fact was like Harry had good cause to respect that sometimes people could become so downtrodden that they did not want to be freed. House elves in general hated being freed. They were willing slaves, and if they were enchanted to feel that way then it was still a 'real' feeling. Tricking them into being freed was not the right thing to do, for it led to nothing but unhappiness. Hermione was too book smart, but had no concept of the real world. She wasted her time while there were real people who needed help, and in fact welcomed it.
"Hermione," said Harry thoughtfully. "Maybe you should, stop trying to trick the house elves into being freed."
"Oh Harry," said Hermione. But I knitted about 30 hats for them." And Harry resisted the urge to ask if they looked like hats yet, instead of rabid hedgehogs. She had gone one step up, as they no longer looked like wooly bladders.
"Hermione, they're slaves that want to be slaves. You have to change the mindset first."
"What do you mean Harry?" she asked anxiously, her book forgotten.
"It's no good tricking them if you can't get the wizarding world to accept them. I mean, you'd then have these freed elves that don't want to be freed and can't find people to work for. It's obvious that their love of being slaves is not normal, but if you figure out how wizards did it and convince them it's wrong, then you could make things better."
"Wow, that's really nice thought Harry," said Hermione. "You must have really thought that out. I mean, I didn't think of that and I'm the smart one."
"…I mean when they dumped MacMillian they just went downhill and of course everyone supports the tornados now that they win but I stick by my team even if they're terrible," finished Ron. He looked around as if awakening from a trance. "Well, you didn't say what you thought Harry."
Harry coughed, cleared his throat and then said, "I'm a bit more interested in my first match of the season as captain, mate." And then he and Hermione continued to talk as Ron launched himself whole-heartedly into a long-winded rant about whomping Slytherin into the dirt.
"Likeable Ron," muttered Harry, and Hermione smiled at him. There was a brief pause. "I guess I've been thinking a lot this summer," said Harry. Hermione's smile faded and Harry knew her mind leapt to Sirius and last year's outbursts of temper.
"I did a lot of thinking in fact, and I guess I change a bit. I mean, it changes you when something like that happens but I guess I learned from it." He looked up and realized that Hermione had been about to reply but had stopped. She was staring at a very tall ethereal looking humanoid who was walking out of the Forbidden Forest. In fact, it took Ron several minutes to notice that Hermione and Harry had stopped walking and were staring at a someone or other.
"Mate," said Ron, only just cottoning on. "What is that?"
The whatever it was merely smiled down at them. "Hello Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasley. I am the Gatekeeper and you need not wonder what I am. I think the smart one knows already."
Hermione's jaw was flopping around like a fish out of water. "That's not possible," she squeaked out.
"Oh, and this from a girl who knits horrible looking hats for mutated elves?"
"What do you mean?" Hermione squeaked indignantly.
"Don't antagonize him," hissed Ron.
"Smart child, though thick in the head nonetheless."
"Excuse me," said Harry politely. "But you obviously know our names . . . May I enquire as to why you are here…Sir?"
"Oh, fat hobbit is so polite," said the humanoid with a chuckle.
"I'm not a Halfling," said Harry confusedly. "And I'm rather small for my age."
"But obviously you got the reference," said the humanoid. "Ah you see my purpose here is rather important. You see, there are a few … I would not say humans but they are peoples nonetheless… are here to meet you son of James."
"Someone's coming through the gate?" asked Hermione, sounding excited.
"Indeed, lover of books. But do not be fooled by what is in a book. For things are often not as we except. Farewell until later, children of Hogwarts." And with that he vanished into the air.
"Pinch me," grunted Ron. "That was so surreal . . . make sure I'm awake 'Mione."
"I second that," mumbled Harry.
"Thegate, thegateintheforestisopened," Hermione squealed, running all her words together. "Thegateisopenedandsomeoneiwllcome! Oooh, it's so exciting, the Gatekeeper actually appeared to us. It's amazing!"
"Come again," said Ron drly.
"The-gate-in-the-forest-is-open," Hermione squealed, grabbing him and hugging him. She released him when he started to turn blue from lack of oxygen.
"Hate on the Morris?" asked Harry. "Pardon?"
"Oh you'll see Harry. It's so wonderful." Far from reassuring him Hermione's excited and incomprehensible squeals only made him more agitated.
He was distracted by another person coming out of the forest. He was a tallish man with long flowing dark hair. He wore a circlet on his head, and flowing robes that looked very expensive.
"You are Harry son of James, are you not?" he enquired of Harry.
"Um, yeah," said Harry lamely.
"I am Elrond, son of Earendil. I have come to serve you."
Hermione gave a squeak that sounded vaguely happy, and swooned on the spot. Ronald shrugged. "Well, welcome to Hogwarts," said Ron cheerfully. "You shut her up so you must be good."
"Leviacorpus!" said Harry, and Hermione's body was lifted up. Upon realizing she was floating in the air she screamed. A startled Harry cut the spell abruptly, letting her fall to the ground. After dusting herself off she slapped them both and stormed off.
"PMS?" asked Ron. Hermione wheeled around 180 degrees and slapped him again. Ron rubbed at his face.
"We'd better see Dumbledore," said Harry.
"I can hear you, you know," said Hermione, who was quite far ahead. "And yes, I think we'd better."
Smiling a completely unreadable smile, Elrond, who was obviously not human, followed them as they walked along. Harry and Ron continued to pinch themselves all the way to the castle doors.