All I Want For Christmas
By Dareru (furidashi@hotmail.com) and Dana-chan (satotshi@neontiger.net)
Disclaimer: We don't own these characters. We're only using them for whatever purposes our sick, twisted...er, I mean, creative minds can come up with. Contains shounen ai/yaoi situations. Like, read. Otherwise, don't.
~~~~~
"...Bring the constant out front...decrease the power..."
I sighed and sat back in my chair.
Calculus was not exactly the most fun way to spend a Friday evening.
As my brain slogged through another problem, I could swear I saw a spiky purple halo around my computer screen. I peered at it for a moment and soon a pair of goggles appeared. The monitor then sprouted a pair of black eyes, a pair of yellow gloves, a coat with a flame pattern on it...
I blinked, and it disappeared.
"I must be seeing things. Better take a break."
I shook my head and got up as a yell rang out from the kitchen.
"Ken, dinner's ready!"
I sighed once again - another alleged meal with my family. I pasted a fake smile on my face and made my way slowly to the table, inhaling the scent of some ex-animal baked, charred, boiled, and basted beyond recognition surrounded by what could have passed for vegetables, with rice on the side, the one thing my mom could cook decently.
"Oh boy, honey, it looks delicious!" My dad plopped down on the chair next to me and began serving out generous portions of the meal onto my plate. Hopefully on Christmas we would order out...
As I shoveled food into my mouth, my mind began to wander. I thought about doing the next forty problems in the calculus assignment, which led me to thinking about my monitor's gradual transformation into Daisuke.
Of course, it couldn't be a coincidence that, out of all my friends, my subconscious turned the monitor into Daisuke. But, then again, it wasn't a Freudian thing, was it? I mean, I like the guy, but I'm not attracted to him, right? It was a troubling thing, and I turned the problem over and over in my brain.
"Son, is there something wrong?"
I looked up at the expectant faces of my parents. I must have been lost in thought enough not to hear their routine questions of, "How was your day?" or "Is there soccer practice tomorrow?"
"No, just, uhm..." I fumbled for an excuse. "Savoring the taste of this lovely chicken!"
"It's pork, dear," replied my mother.
"I'm sorry, did I say chicken?" I flashed my winning smile to my mother. "I was never good at identifying meats. Anyway, I was thinking of how much I was looking forward to spending Christmas with you, my wonderful parents."
That appeased their prying minds for the time being, and they allowed me my space, opting to continue on about their jobs, taxes, and the weather.
I mentally ticked off a list of things I had to do before school got out. Top priority was go buy tickets to the annual Christmas dance. Last year I had opted not to go and was hounded for weeks because "you need to find a nice girl to settle down with." At least I could fabricate a likely story if I had a ticket.
My musings were interrupted by the phone. I looked up at it, uncomprehending, and then stood up to get it.
"Moshi moshi?"
"Hi, Ken!" It was Daisuke. Strangely enough, something stirred inside of me..."I know this may sound kind of weird, but are you going to the Christmas dance?"
I mouthed the words 'friend' to my parents and moved into the hallway. "Yes, actually, why do you ask?"
"Oh." He sounded disappointed for a moment. "I was going to ask if you wanted to come in a group with Hikari, Takeru and myself, but since you already have a date..."
"Wait!" I mentally kicked myself for yelling into the phone, and dropped my voice to a whisper. "Actually, Daisuke..."
~~~~~
I wonder what he's going to bring up. I had hoped he'd be free for the dance... "What is it, Ken?" I ask. There's just a hint of a pout clinging to my words. I twist the phone cord around my fingers and sit back on the couch.
"Well, it's just...I am going to the dance, but I'm not going with anyone."
Oh... "That means you don't have a date?"
"Exactly."
"So...would you like to come with me...with Hikari and Takeru and myself?"
"Well, if you really want to have me..."
I could laugh. "Of course I want you, Ken!" Oh...I'm glad he's not here, I'm blushing. That didn't come out the way it was supposed to. "Um...so I guess it's a date?"
This time it's Ken's turn to laugh. "Of course it is, Daisuke. Does this mean you're wearing a dress?"
"Don't push it, Ken. If you're looking for a crossdresser...well, Taichi's already taken." And believe me, my sister has still yet come to terms with that...
"All right, all right, point taken, Daisuke."
I can't help but sigh happily. "I need to go, though. Jun's giving me a death glare, she wants the phone..."
"Best give in to her, I don't want you to skip put on this."
"Yeah I'll skip something." I mutter with a grin. "I'll talk to you later, Ken. Thanks. Bye!"
"Bye, Daisuke. Th...thank you. For everything. You've always had faith in me..."
"Of course I do, silly." And so much more... "Bye, Ken."
"Bye, Daisuke..." So I'm sad when he hangs up...but I won't show it.
Jun practically snatches the phone from me and I glare at her then walk back to my room. Takeru's there and he's grinning at me like a madman. Hikari rolls her eyes. "Boys are so damn weird." She mutters. Takeru only grins more.
"Stop that or I'm shoving a sock down your throat, Takeru." I mutter with a pleasant smile. He laughs and Chibimon just rolls his eyes.
"So how did it go?"
I sit at my desk. "Pretty good...he's going to go with us."
Takeru smiles. "That's good. Maybe you'll stop pining for him if you can spend time with him..." I shoot Takeru my own glare of death.
"Are you just trying to annoy me?"
He shakes his head. "I'm just telling you the truth."
"The truth," Chibimon murmurs. "Like the fact that this is the first time that I've ever been able to see your bedroom floor, huh Daisuke?"
I blush. "That's not true."
"Yes it is!"
"I-I-I..."
Takeru's laughing again. "Well if you ever plan to have Ken over then you'll need to have a clean room..." I glare at him, snatch a rolled up bundle of socks from a drawer, and bean him on the forehead. He snatches a pillow and attacks.
"You're going to pay, Takaishi Takeru!" I grab a pillow to fight back.
"Yeah right, Motomiya Daisuke!"
Hikari rolls her eyes again at our antics. And no, I never thought that it could happen, either. We're acting like *friends*...and I can thank him and Hikari for forcing me to give in and invite Ken with us. And I'm glad that Ken accepted...
~~~~~
Wow...
I put down the phone. Maybe I do have a thing for Daisuke...I mean, how else can I explain the conversation that we just had. It's fairly obvious that he wanted me to come, and I wanted to go...so does this mean I should like him? Well, at the very least, I wasn't going stag anymore, which would make me the laughingstock of most of my "classmates." Plus, being in a group is much more fun than going with just one person...or so I'd heard.
"So, who was it?" queries my mother.
"Oh, just a friend of mine, but I have a date to the Christmas dance now," I reply.
"Congratulations, son," says my dad. "I'm sure you and her will have a good time."
"Yes," I chuckle nervously. "We sure will...heh heh...especially her..."
The though sparks an image of Daisuke, prancing around in tights, a miniskirt, and a tube top, and I couldn't help but start laughing. My parents look at me like I'm half-crazy, then at each other, then decide to start laughing, too, at which point I stop.
"I'm sorry, I just had a very funny thought." I sit back down and resume eating...ugh...
Finally, the meal is finished and I am allowed to go back to my room/fortress of solitude after exchanging trivialities for a few moments. Immediately I pick up the phone and dial Daisuke's number...the only one I have memorized, for some reason.
"Moshi moshi?" An sickeningly sweet voice answers the phone, and involuntarily I shudder...Jun...
"Hello, Jun," I say, "Is Daisuke there?"
"This must be Ken, because the only other people to call him, ever, are here already," she giggles. "I think..."
I want to say, "You do?" but instead I manage to keep a civil tongue. "I'm sorry to cut you off, but I'm in kind of a hurry, could you put him on?"
She clicks her tongue, out of annoyance, I assume. "All right, let me check."
"DAISUKE! PHONE FOR YOU!" I jump in surprise as the scream carries through the phone unmuted.
"Got it, Jun," says a very familiar voice. The phone clicks, and I hear a mumble which could be mistaken for 'bitch'. "'Lo?"
"Daisuke, it's Ken."
"Hey, Ken," he says, and I can hear a laugh in the background. Must be Takeru and Hikari...Actually, it seems odd that, of all people, Daisuke and I are going together, and with Takeru and Hikari, the former Daisuke's rival for the latter, or so I thought. "What's up?"
~~~~~
"Well, I just decided that I need to make Takeru eat a pillow." I say with a grin, sticking my tongue out at Takeru. Hikari laughs and muffles her hands to stifle the sound.
"Sounds like fun," Ken replied simply.
"I know, he deserves it...he's being a jerk."
Takeru goes to say something and Hikari kicks him in the shin. "Maybe we should go, Daisuke, so you can talk to Ken." She smiles sweetly and latches onto Takeru's arm.
"Come on, Takeru, we have to go shopping, anyway." He groans and I pity him, but not much, as they wave and she drags him from the room.
"Sorry about that, Ken," I say sheepishly. "but now you have my undivided attention. I promise."
"Promise?"
"Promise!" I reply with a smile. And I mean it so much...
"Well, now all I need to do is get my ticket tomorrow at school..." Ken murmurs softly. Well, actually...
"Actually..." I begin, blushing furiously. "you don't have to do that, Ken."
"Oh, why not?"
"Well..." I twist the phone cord around my fingers...it's such a nervous habit of mine. "I have a ticket for you all ready. I...was...hoping...you'd want to go with m...us."
~~~~~
My second surprise that night. Daisuke was on a roll. I half-expect him to ask me out over the phone.
"Taking quite a leap of faith, eh? " I chuckle into the phone. "Good thing I said yes. So, what's the plan?"
"Well, we managed to scrape together enough for a limo for the four of us, so we'll be around at 6 and then go to dinner...I'm buying, of course..." Really, it is just a ploy so I can hear him speak for a long time. For some reason I like hearing his voice, and so I concentrate on the musicality of his rich, throaty obligato while not paying attention to the specifics of what he's saying. Eventually I'm brought back to reality as he comes to the end of our plans. "...and then we're going to Tabby's Waffle House."
"Where?"
"It's a new place downtown."
"I see."
"So, 6 o'clock on Friday?"
"Looking forward to it."
"Great. See ya, Ken," mumbles Daisuke.
"Goodnight, Daisuke, don't dream too much of me." I can almost hear him turn red over the phone. I laugh quietly and hang up. Now, to find a suitable outfit...
"Dad?" I call down the hallway.
"Yeah?"
"You know if I have any tuxes or anything of that sort that still fit me?"
"Ask your mother."
I sigh. "Mother, do we have a tux for me that still fits?"
She bustles into the room and makes a beeline for my closet. "I think," she begins, rummaging around through the forest of clothing, "that you have one of your father's old suits..." I narrowly dodge a rhinestoned denim jacket that comes flying through the air. "...around here somewhere. Aha!" She stands and holds a remarkably good-looking dinner jacket, vest, cummerbund and pants, complete with bow tie.
"Excellent! Thank you, mother," I say, giving her a peck on the cheek. "I'll use this for the dance."
"Glad I could help," she beams, and then scurries off again. I try it on for size. Not a bad fit, actually. Almost as if it was made for me. It comes with a bow tie...never tried to tie one before, but in five minutes I have it down pat. I almost trip over a pair of black shoes that slipped out of the pant legs. Stuffed inside them are a pair of elegant white gloves. Putting them on, I glance at my reflection in the mirror. Excellent. I smile, knowing that Daisuke's reaction will consist of his jaw hitting whatever surface happens to be underneath his feet...among other things...
I'm set! I'm glad I don't have to worry about doing my hair, or wearing the right dress, or anything...I'll leave that to Hikari...and her brother, if he so chooses...All I have to do be ready by 6 on Friday.
~~~~~
I stare at the phone for the longest time until I realize that it's not going to ring again, at least no time in the near future. I sigh and sit back in my chair. 6 o'clock on Friday. I don't think I can make it!
Just thinking about spending time with Ken...all right, I'm not exactly going to be alone, alone, but it's better than nothing at all. And Hikari and Takeru both understand my situation. Though it gives me a headache just thinking about it.
I had to come to terms with certain things. And I think that I did that rather well. And if not for Hikari and Takeru...I don't think that I'd be able to do this. Can you even imagine it? Ever since I shook hands with Ichijouji Ken at that soccer game...it was so very long ago...but it changed my life forever.
And now look at me, I'm getting deep and I'ms ure I'll start talking to myself! "I don't want *that* to happen..."
"What's that, Daisuke?" Chibimon hops onto my lap.
"Oh, nothin'. Want a late night snack?"
He blinks at me. "Daisuke, ya just ate dinner a half hour ago."
I nod and smile. "Yep, and Hikari and Takeru ate with us. They saved me from Jun's insanity. So, want a snack?"
All he can do is sigh. "Well...can we have this yummy little bun things your mother makes?" I laugh and pat his head.
"Sure, we can have the cupcakes. Let's go, Chibimon!"
After we ingest more sugar than my mother thinks is safe at all, I actually do make it in bed. And can I call myself a helpless sap if I was thinking of Ken the entire time? I think I can.
And I'm still thinking of him as my head hits the pillow and I fall asleep.
~~~~~
Sometimes I wonder how I manage to sleep at night. Nights like this one sometimes find me pacing my room, or dinking around on the computer, or some such activity, always with a great nervous energy like I'm waiting for something big to happen. Tonight I lie in bed, staring at a picture of Daisuke I had tucked away in a corner. Strange, I muse, not that long ago it was used as a dartboard to while away my frustrations as the Digimon Kaizer, and now it is the most valuable piece of paper I have.
Minomon finds his way into bed and crawls onto my chest.
"Ken, what are you doing with that picture?"
I absently pat him on the head, my energy draining rapidly. "I am looking at my date for Friday."
"Date? What's that?"
"Well..." I search for the words a moment before explaining it to Minomon. "If two humans are friends, and they want to take their relationship to the...next level...well, they go out on dates to see if they are compatible. If they feel that way, they continue the relationship." An ironic smile flits across my face. How cold and ungainly my explanation seems...but then again, how exactly are you supposed to explain an emotion?
"Go to the next level? You mean like Digivolve?" Minomon squints his round black eyes at me, giving me a puzzled look.
"Well," I laugh, "Sort of. It's...hard to explain, but...I'm hoping that Daisuke and I are compatible, I suppose."
Minomon shrugs as best he can. "Whatever you say, Ken, as long as you're happy I am too."
I give him a pat on the head and fold up the picture, yawning. "I will be, I think. Goodnight, Minomon."
"Goodnight, Ken."
I fall asleep almost immediately.
*
The next morning, I wake up, surprised to find a very awake Minomon on my chest. Seeing I'm awake, he bounces up and down excitedly.
"Hi, Ken! Good morning!"
I blink my sleepiness away as best I can, propping myself up with one arm. "Morning," I mumble. "What's got you so excited."
"Well, D...er, I mean, it's a surprise!"
I shake my head. "All right, but it better not come before breakfast."
He giggles and replies, "No!"
After breakfast, I take a long, relaxing shower, get dressed, and gather my things. It is Thursday, and already I find my impatience growing for Friday. Walking out the door, I shift my thoughts groggily towards that subject when a hand taps me on the shoulder. I leap a bit in alarm.
"Hey, Ken! Easy! It's just me!"
I stare into the face of a grinning Daisuke, and can't help but smile myself.
~~~~~
He's beautiful when he smiles. I think I need to tell him that. But maybe it's just a bit too early... "What are you doing here, Daisuke?" He asks, tilting his head to the side to grin at me.
"I just thought that maybe you'd want to walk to school together." I smile back at him.
He seems to ponder this for a moment and then nods. "I think that is a wonderful idea, Daisuke."
"Good, are you ready?" I ask and he muses over his things with a twinkle in his eye.
"I think I am. Bye, Minomon! Lead on, Daisuke."
I'm sore tempted to just grab his hand and drag him with me...you know how it is, don't you? It's just oen day until the dance, and I can hardly wait. I want to speand as much time as I can with him, that is possible.
Gee, that's pathetic.
But...
I've always trusted him. There was a part of me that always wished...that he didn't have to be our enemy...that he could be...
That's it, I don't care. I grab his hand and pull him along. "Come on, we're going to be late!"
"Dai...Daisuke!"
I grin and glance back at him, he's trying to keep up with me. I slow down so that we're just walking, but at a fster pace. "Yes, Ken?"
"Slow down." He says with a grin. I'm tempted to stick my tongue out at him, so I do.
He lifts an eyebrow. "Better keep that put away unless you mean something with it, Daisuke."
This is horribly strange, but now we're both blushing. "Um..." He says.
"I..."
"Um..."
"Yeah..."
I mean, I'm...I can see what I'm looking at, can I? I know that before...I really threw myself in and didn't look ahead...but I'm not blind, am I? There's...something...isn't there?
We're getting close to school, and the best thing about that, is that tomorrow night...I can't wait until tomorrow night...
~~~~~
I let myself be dragged along as Daisuke takes a frantic pace toward school. More than once he has to save himself from running over someone or something. When we're in sight of the school, he stops abruptly and I hurtle past him; immediately he latches one arm around my waist and keeps me from flying past.
By doing so, our bodies are touching; his face is just barely an inch from mine, and both of us are breathing rather heavily. It takes all of my willpower to not kiss him right there; I think I can see the same look mirrored in his eyes. But if he doesn't want to pursue the matter, then I won't either.
"Thanks, Daisuke," I spit out between breaths, "I could've been in quite a mess."
He laughs, a hint of disappointment in it, and lets me go, and together we walk into class. We barely make it to class before the bell rings and collapse into our seats. I notice that Daisuke has a big, dumb grin on his face, and I probably do too. I settle into my chair, but I can't take my mind off of him, so I sit and stare at the back of his head, not particularly caring to get involved in class.
The class finishes after too long of a time; I get up and wave goodbye to Daisuke, inviting him to stop by later tonight, and head out the door for soccer practice.
~~~~~
I think that my dear Ken has forgotten that I too have soccer practice. Oh well, we are on different teams and all. And we wouldn't have been going to the same fields... all right, so maybe I just wanted to spend time with him.
Am I fucking pathetic or what?
I end up walking home with Takeru. I saw him at his basketball practice and he sort of started to follow me.
"Well, well, how's everything going?" He asks, nudging me in the side.
"Pretty good." I grin. "I showed up at his apartment this morning and we walked to school..."
He grins right back at me. "Aren't you glad that he started going to our school?" He asks, poking me in the arm.
I pause for a moment, thinking that over. "Hmm... well, I suppose that I am. Just a little bit..." He punches me this time, and sighs.
"I'm really glad that you're going through with this. I think we were all getting sick of you pining over Ken..."
That's it. "Oh Takeru, you're going to die!"
I chase him back to our building. That was fun. I'm panting. "You're so going to pay when I get my hands on you."
He smirks. "Wouldn't you rather get your hands on Ken?" He asks, wiggling an eyebrow at me.
I muse thoughtfully on that line of thought. "Well, sure, but he's not here..."
I have a sudden sinking feeling as Takeru grins and points behind me. We're inside the actual apartment building, and the elevator is nearby. He's pointing behind me, and there's only one thing...person...that could make him have *that* look on his face.
"Um, hi Ken..." I mumble, turning around and blushing. He has this blank look on his face, kind of shocked, and kind of ripping out my heart. "I, um, need to go upstairs, I can hear my mom killing Jun and I need to go hop in on the action.
"Wait, Daisuke!" I can hear Ken yelling after me as I run full tilt down the hallway, the elevator is at the end of the hall. I don't turn around, and I punch the button, mortified beyond belief.
I don't know why I feel so damned blushy *now*!
I get up to my apartment, I can smell dinner cooking. I rush past Jun, who's sitting on the couch, watching something on TV... I slam my bedroom door behind me and flop down on the bed, pulling a pillow over my face.
"Daisuke, what's wrong?" Chibimon asks.
"Nothing." I mumble.
"But..."
And then the phone rings.
And rings again.
And again...
"Daisuke, it's for you!"
"Who is it?" I shout back. Chibimon's nudging my arm.
"It's Takeru. Pick up the phone!"
Chibimon blinks up at me as I answer the phone. "I am so going to kill you, Takeru!" I shout into the receiver.
There's a pause, and then someone speaks up. And it's not Takeru. "I'll let him know."
"Ken?" I ask, falling back on my bed. I can hardly breathe. Chibimon looks about as confused as I feel...
"Hai..."
"Um...about earlier..."
"What is it?"
"I didn't mean it the way that it sounded..."
"Oh really?" He asks.
"Um... where are you calling from anyway?"
"I'm at Takeru's. Now...Daisuke...how did you exactly mean what you said?"
"Um..." I fumble for something to say. But I really don't know what I should say. Beyond telling him the truth...
"Well, maybe I did mean it the way that it sounded." I mumble.
"Good."
"Um...I think that maybe we need to have a talk before we go to the dance. You know, face to face..."
"That's a good idea. I'll meet you on the landing between your and Takeru's floors."
"Okay...I'll see you then."
"Good."
"What's happening, Daisuke?" Chibimon asks.
I shrug and sigh pathetically. "I don't rally know."
Ken...He'd been so emotionless on the phone... I finally end up hanging up the phone. "Well, you can handle whatever he throws at ya."
I smile. "I hope so."
I end up creeping out of my room, and Jun shoots me an innocent look. "You can do it, Daisuke."
"How do you know?"
She shrugs. "I was listening on the other side. Now go pick up the pieces of that before you really regret it."
I stare at her, rather blankly. "I'll kill you later, Jun."
She smiles at me. "Not if I kill you first. Now *shoo*!"
I shoot her a glare and leave the apartment behind.
~~~~~
It surprises me sometimes that two people who know that they are in love with each other will go to great lengths to hide it. Of course, pointing this out means that I, too, am part of the great multitude that does it. I suppose, then, that makes me obligated to do something about it. After all, I'm *not* a hypocrite...
I sigh and sit on the stairs, waiting for him. I suppose that this sort of defense mechanism inside me takes over if it thinks I'm going into a situation that I might regret later. It turns me cold, for lack of a better term.
But I must admit that I was hurt seeing Daisuke run like a bat out of hell the moment he saw me behind him. True, of course, he had made a statement not meant for my ears, but...
I don't know. I would have been happy with almost every other reaction than that.
So I begin racking my brain, trying to piece together something that will finally bridge the gap between us. Because I know I won't be able to handle it if he runs away again. I construct a thousand logical arguments why he and I should be together. I make sure every statement both he and I know is true. By the end of the five minutes, I have mentally planned out my point so well anyone with half a mind could see my point.
Then I feel a hand tapping timidly on my shoulder. I jump in surprise and turn around.
"Um...hi, Ken."
His face is almost expressionless, and he stands rigid, as if he's a soldier waiting for inspection. And yet, behind his stony countenance, I see a mixture of fear and hope; he and I both know that before we part ways this night we will either be on opposite sides of a great rift, or together at last.
"Daisuke."
But my argument fizzles before it can get started. I realize that no amount of logic will provide a good reason for us. So it dies on my tongue.
And instead, I step close to him, reach out, and bring my lips to his.
When we break, his eyes wide with shock and yet radiating happiness.
"Daisuke...I realized that I want to go to the dance with someone who's more than just my friend. I love you, Daisuke, and...I'm hoping that, perhaps, you feel the same way, too?"
He grins through his shock and nods. "I thought you'd never say those words!"
I smile, and my hand snakes down to find his. Together we walk back up to his apartment.
~~~~~
I don't know if I honestly expected this to be so simple. If I'd just stood around and *talked* to him... "I'm sorry that I ran. I-I freaked..."
He holds my hand tightly and smiles. He has a beautiful smile, beautiful eyes-*he's* beautiful! "It's all right, Daisuke..."
But I'm sure that I hurt him... "I won't ever do that again." I whisper. We pause down the hall from my apartment. "I wasn't thinking...I know that's happened before. But...I've always had faith in you, and look at what I went and did..."
He holds up my hand and kisses it softly. "I told you that it's all right, Daisuke. I love you."
I smile, and wind an arm around him, pressing my lips to his own. "I love you too." I whisper against his lips.
We stand there for a long time...I'm not sure how. Just holding each other. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life... Chibimon might be my best friend, but Ken... He's something more. He's the other part of my soul that I was yearning for, perhaps? I think I'm being too poetic...
There's one thing that I am sure of, though. This year I know that I've gotten that I ever wanted for Christmas...
"Come on, let's go in, it's cold."
I kiss him again and he smiles. "That helped...I'm not so cold anymore."
"I want to keep you warm forever."
"That's all that I've ever wanted..."
By Dareru (furidashi@hotmail.com) and Dana-chan (satotshi@neontiger.net)
Disclaimer: We don't own these characters. We're only using them for whatever purposes our sick, twisted...er, I mean, creative minds can come up with. Contains shounen ai/yaoi situations. Like, read. Otherwise, don't.
~~~~~
"...Bring the constant out front...decrease the power..."
I sighed and sat back in my chair.
Calculus was not exactly the most fun way to spend a Friday evening.
As my brain slogged through another problem, I could swear I saw a spiky purple halo around my computer screen. I peered at it for a moment and soon a pair of goggles appeared. The monitor then sprouted a pair of black eyes, a pair of yellow gloves, a coat with a flame pattern on it...
I blinked, and it disappeared.
"I must be seeing things. Better take a break."
I shook my head and got up as a yell rang out from the kitchen.
"Ken, dinner's ready!"
I sighed once again - another alleged meal with my family. I pasted a fake smile on my face and made my way slowly to the table, inhaling the scent of some ex-animal baked, charred, boiled, and basted beyond recognition surrounded by what could have passed for vegetables, with rice on the side, the one thing my mom could cook decently.
"Oh boy, honey, it looks delicious!" My dad plopped down on the chair next to me and began serving out generous portions of the meal onto my plate. Hopefully on Christmas we would order out...
As I shoveled food into my mouth, my mind began to wander. I thought about doing the next forty problems in the calculus assignment, which led me to thinking about my monitor's gradual transformation into Daisuke.
Of course, it couldn't be a coincidence that, out of all my friends, my subconscious turned the monitor into Daisuke. But, then again, it wasn't a Freudian thing, was it? I mean, I like the guy, but I'm not attracted to him, right? It was a troubling thing, and I turned the problem over and over in my brain.
"Son, is there something wrong?"
I looked up at the expectant faces of my parents. I must have been lost in thought enough not to hear their routine questions of, "How was your day?" or "Is there soccer practice tomorrow?"
"No, just, uhm..." I fumbled for an excuse. "Savoring the taste of this lovely chicken!"
"It's pork, dear," replied my mother.
"I'm sorry, did I say chicken?" I flashed my winning smile to my mother. "I was never good at identifying meats. Anyway, I was thinking of how much I was looking forward to spending Christmas with you, my wonderful parents."
That appeased their prying minds for the time being, and they allowed me my space, opting to continue on about their jobs, taxes, and the weather.
I mentally ticked off a list of things I had to do before school got out. Top priority was go buy tickets to the annual Christmas dance. Last year I had opted not to go and was hounded for weeks because "you need to find a nice girl to settle down with." At least I could fabricate a likely story if I had a ticket.
My musings were interrupted by the phone. I looked up at it, uncomprehending, and then stood up to get it.
"Moshi moshi?"
"Hi, Ken!" It was Daisuke. Strangely enough, something stirred inside of me..."I know this may sound kind of weird, but are you going to the Christmas dance?"
I mouthed the words 'friend' to my parents and moved into the hallway. "Yes, actually, why do you ask?"
"Oh." He sounded disappointed for a moment. "I was going to ask if you wanted to come in a group with Hikari, Takeru and myself, but since you already have a date..."
"Wait!" I mentally kicked myself for yelling into the phone, and dropped my voice to a whisper. "Actually, Daisuke..."
~~~~~
I wonder what he's going to bring up. I had hoped he'd be free for the dance... "What is it, Ken?" I ask. There's just a hint of a pout clinging to my words. I twist the phone cord around my fingers and sit back on the couch.
"Well, it's just...I am going to the dance, but I'm not going with anyone."
Oh... "That means you don't have a date?"
"Exactly."
"So...would you like to come with me...with Hikari and Takeru and myself?"
"Well, if you really want to have me..."
I could laugh. "Of course I want you, Ken!" Oh...I'm glad he's not here, I'm blushing. That didn't come out the way it was supposed to. "Um...so I guess it's a date?"
This time it's Ken's turn to laugh. "Of course it is, Daisuke. Does this mean you're wearing a dress?"
"Don't push it, Ken. If you're looking for a crossdresser...well, Taichi's already taken." And believe me, my sister has still yet come to terms with that...
"All right, all right, point taken, Daisuke."
I can't help but sigh happily. "I need to go, though. Jun's giving me a death glare, she wants the phone..."
"Best give in to her, I don't want you to skip put on this."
"Yeah I'll skip something." I mutter with a grin. "I'll talk to you later, Ken. Thanks. Bye!"
"Bye, Daisuke. Th...thank you. For everything. You've always had faith in me..."
"Of course I do, silly." And so much more... "Bye, Ken."
"Bye, Daisuke..." So I'm sad when he hangs up...but I won't show it.
Jun practically snatches the phone from me and I glare at her then walk back to my room. Takeru's there and he's grinning at me like a madman. Hikari rolls her eyes. "Boys are so damn weird." She mutters. Takeru only grins more.
"Stop that or I'm shoving a sock down your throat, Takeru." I mutter with a pleasant smile. He laughs and Chibimon just rolls his eyes.
"So how did it go?"
I sit at my desk. "Pretty good...he's going to go with us."
Takeru smiles. "That's good. Maybe you'll stop pining for him if you can spend time with him..." I shoot Takeru my own glare of death.
"Are you just trying to annoy me?"
He shakes his head. "I'm just telling you the truth."
"The truth," Chibimon murmurs. "Like the fact that this is the first time that I've ever been able to see your bedroom floor, huh Daisuke?"
I blush. "That's not true."
"Yes it is!"
"I-I-I..."
Takeru's laughing again. "Well if you ever plan to have Ken over then you'll need to have a clean room..." I glare at him, snatch a rolled up bundle of socks from a drawer, and bean him on the forehead. He snatches a pillow and attacks.
"You're going to pay, Takaishi Takeru!" I grab a pillow to fight back.
"Yeah right, Motomiya Daisuke!"
Hikari rolls her eyes again at our antics. And no, I never thought that it could happen, either. We're acting like *friends*...and I can thank him and Hikari for forcing me to give in and invite Ken with us. And I'm glad that Ken accepted...
~~~~~
Wow...
I put down the phone. Maybe I do have a thing for Daisuke...I mean, how else can I explain the conversation that we just had. It's fairly obvious that he wanted me to come, and I wanted to go...so does this mean I should like him? Well, at the very least, I wasn't going stag anymore, which would make me the laughingstock of most of my "classmates." Plus, being in a group is much more fun than going with just one person...or so I'd heard.
"So, who was it?" queries my mother.
"Oh, just a friend of mine, but I have a date to the Christmas dance now," I reply.
"Congratulations, son," says my dad. "I'm sure you and her will have a good time."
"Yes," I chuckle nervously. "We sure will...heh heh...especially her..."
The though sparks an image of Daisuke, prancing around in tights, a miniskirt, and a tube top, and I couldn't help but start laughing. My parents look at me like I'm half-crazy, then at each other, then decide to start laughing, too, at which point I stop.
"I'm sorry, I just had a very funny thought." I sit back down and resume eating...ugh...
Finally, the meal is finished and I am allowed to go back to my room/fortress of solitude after exchanging trivialities for a few moments. Immediately I pick up the phone and dial Daisuke's number...the only one I have memorized, for some reason.
"Moshi moshi?" An sickeningly sweet voice answers the phone, and involuntarily I shudder...Jun...
"Hello, Jun," I say, "Is Daisuke there?"
"This must be Ken, because the only other people to call him, ever, are here already," she giggles. "I think..."
I want to say, "You do?" but instead I manage to keep a civil tongue. "I'm sorry to cut you off, but I'm in kind of a hurry, could you put him on?"
She clicks her tongue, out of annoyance, I assume. "All right, let me check."
"DAISUKE! PHONE FOR YOU!" I jump in surprise as the scream carries through the phone unmuted.
"Got it, Jun," says a very familiar voice. The phone clicks, and I hear a mumble which could be mistaken for 'bitch'. "'Lo?"
"Daisuke, it's Ken."
"Hey, Ken," he says, and I can hear a laugh in the background. Must be Takeru and Hikari...Actually, it seems odd that, of all people, Daisuke and I are going together, and with Takeru and Hikari, the former Daisuke's rival for the latter, or so I thought. "What's up?"
~~~~~
"Well, I just decided that I need to make Takeru eat a pillow." I say with a grin, sticking my tongue out at Takeru. Hikari laughs and muffles her hands to stifle the sound.
"Sounds like fun," Ken replied simply.
"I know, he deserves it...he's being a jerk."
Takeru goes to say something and Hikari kicks him in the shin. "Maybe we should go, Daisuke, so you can talk to Ken." She smiles sweetly and latches onto Takeru's arm.
"Come on, Takeru, we have to go shopping, anyway." He groans and I pity him, but not much, as they wave and she drags him from the room.
"Sorry about that, Ken," I say sheepishly. "but now you have my undivided attention. I promise."
"Promise?"
"Promise!" I reply with a smile. And I mean it so much...
"Well, now all I need to do is get my ticket tomorrow at school..." Ken murmurs softly. Well, actually...
"Actually..." I begin, blushing furiously. "you don't have to do that, Ken."
"Oh, why not?"
"Well..." I twist the phone cord around my fingers...it's such a nervous habit of mine. "I have a ticket for you all ready. I...was...hoping...you'd want to go with m...us."
~~~~~
My second surprise that night. Daisuke was on a roll. I half-expect him to ask me out over the phone.
"Taking quite a leap of faith, eh? " I chuckle into the phone. "Good thing I said yes. So, what's the plan?"
"Well, we managed to scrape together enough for a limo for the four of us, so we'll be around at 6 and then go to dinner...I'm buying, of course..." Really, it is just a ploy so I can hear him speak for a long time. For some reason I like hearing his voice, and so I concentrate on the musicality of his rich, throaty obligato while not paying attention to the specifics of what he's saying. Eventually I'm brought back to reality as he comes to the end of our plans. "...and then we're going to Tabby's Waffle House."
"Where?"
"It's a new place downtown."
"I see."
"So, 6 o'clock on Friday?"
"Looking forward to it."
"Great. See ya, Ken," mumbles Daisuke.
"Goodnight, Daisuke, don't dream too much of me." I can almost hear him turn red over the phone. I laugh quietly and hang up. Now, to find a suitable outfit...
"Dad?" I call down the hallway.
"Yeah?"
"You know if I have any tuxes or anything of that sort that still fit me?"
"Ask your mother."
I sigh. "Mother, do we have a tux for me that still fits?"
She bustles into the room and makes a beeline for my closet. "I think," she begins, rummaging around through the forest of clothing, "that you have one of your father's old suits..." I narrowly dodge a rhinestoned denim jacket that comes flying through the air. "...around here somewhere. Aha!" She stands and holds a remarkably good-looking dinner jacket, vest, cummerbund and pants, complete with bow tie.
"Excellent! Thank you, mother," I say, giving her a peck on the cheek. "I'll use this for the dance."
"Glad I could help," she beams, and then scurries off again. I try it on for size. Not a bad fit, actually. Almost as if it was made for me. It comes with a bow tie...never tried to tie one before, but in five minutes I have it down pat. I almost trip over a pair of black shoes that slipped out of the pant legs. Stuffed inside them are a pair of elegant white gloves. Putting them on, I glance at my reflection in the mirror. Excellent. I smile, knowing that Daisuke's reaction will consist of his jaw hitting whatever surface happens to be underneath his feet...among other things...
I'm set! I'm glad I don't have to worry about doing my hair, or wearing the right dress, or anything...I'll leave that to Hikari...and her brother, if he so chooses...All I have to do be ready by 6 on Friday.
~~~~~
I stare at the phone for the longest time until I realize that it's not going to ring again, at least no time in the near future. I sigh and sit back in my chair. 6 o'clock on Friday. I don't think I can make it!
Just thinking about spending time with Ken...all right, I'm not exactly going to be alone, alone, but it's better than nothing at all. And Hikari and Takeru both understand my situation. Though it gives me a headache just thinking about it.
I had to come to terms with certain things. And I think that I did that rather well. And if not for Hikari and Takeru...I don't think that I'd be able to do this. Can you even imagine it? Ever since I shook hands with Ichijouji Ken at that soccer game...it was so very long ago...but it changed my life forever.
And now look at me, I'm getting deep and I'ms ure I'll start talking to myself! "I don't want *that* to happen..."
"What's that, Daisuke?" Chibimon hops onto my lap.
"Oh, nothin'. Want a late night snack?"
He blinks at me. "Daisuke, ya just ate dinner a half hour ago."
I nod and smile. "Yep, and Hikari and Takeru ate with us. They saved me from Jun's insanity. So, want a snack?"
All he can do is sigh. "Well...can we have this yummy little bun things your mother makes?" I laugh and pat his head.
"Sure, we can have the cupcakes. Let's go, Chibimon!"
After we ingest more sugar than my mother thinks is safe at all, I actually do make it in bed. And can I call myself a helpless sap if I was thinking of Ken the entire time? I think I can.
And I'm still thinking of him as my head hits the pillow and I fall asleep.
~~~~~
Sometimes I wonder how I manage to sleep at night. Nights like this one sometimes find me pacing my room, or dinking around on the computer, or some such activity, always with a great nervous energy like I'm waiting for something big to happen. Tonight I lie in bed, staring at a picture of Daisuke I had tucked away in a corner. Strange, I muse, not that long ago it was used as a dartboard to while away my frustrations as the Digimon Kaizer, and now it is the most valuable piece of paper I have.
Minomon finds his way into bed and crawls onto my chest.
"Ken, what are you doing with that picture?"
I absently pat him on the head, my energy draining rapidly. "I am looking at my date for Friday."
"Date? What's that?"
"Well..." I search for the words a moment before explaining it to Minomon. "If two humans are friends, and they want to take their relationship to the...next level...well, they go out on dates to see if they are compatible. If they feel that way, they continue the relationship." An ironic smile flits across my face. How cold and ungainly my explanation seems...but then again, how exactly are you supposed to explain an emotion?
"Go to the next level? You mean like Digivolve?" Minomon squints his round black eyes at me, giving me a puzzled look.
"Well," I laugh, "Sort of. It's...hard to explain, but...I'm hoping that Daisuke and I are compatible, I suppose."
Minomon shrugs as best he can. "Whatever you say, Ken, as long as you're happy I am too."
I give him a pat on the head and fold up the picture, yawning. "I will be, I think. Goodnight, Minomon."
"Goodnight, Ken."
I fall asleep almost immediately.
*
The next morning, I wake up, surprised to find a very awake Minomon on my chest. Seeing I'm awake, he bounces up and down excitedly.
"Hi, Ken! Good morning!"
I blink my sleepiness away as best I can, propping myself up with one arm. "Morning," I mumble. "What's got you so excited."
"Well, D...er, I mean, it's a surprise!"
I shake my head. "All right, but it better not come before breakfast."
He giggles and replies, "No!"
After breakfast, I take a long, relaxing shower, get dressed, and gather my things. It is Thursday, and already I find my impatience growing for Friday. Walking out the door, I shift my thoughts groggily towards that subject when a hand taps me on the shoulder. I leap a bit in alarm.
"Hey, Ken! Easy! It's just me!"
I stare into the face of a grinning Daisuke, and can't help but smile myself.
~~~~~
He's beautiful when he smiles. I think I need to tell him that. But maybe it's just a bit too early... "What are you doing here, Daisuke?" He asks, tilting his head to the side to grin at me.
"I just thought that maybe you'd want to walk to school together." I smile back at him.
He seems to ponder this for a moment and then nods. "I think that is a wonderful idea, Daisuke."
"Good, are you ready?" I ask and he muses over his things with a twinkle in his eye.
"I think I am. Bye, Minomon! Lead on, Daisuke."
I'm sore tempted to just grab his hand and drag him with me...you know how it is, don't you? It's just oen day until the dance, and I can hardly wait. I want to speand as much time as I can with him, that is possible.
Gee, that's pathetic.
But...
I've always trusted him. There was a part of me that always wished...that he didn't have to be our enemy...that he could be...
That's it, I don't care. I grab his hand and pull him along. "Come on, we're going to be late!"
"Dai...Daisuke!"
I grin and glance back at him, he's trying to keep up with me. I slow down so that we're just walking, but at a fster pace. "Yes, Ken?"
"Slow down." He says with a grin. I'm tempted to stick my tongue out at him, so I do.
He lifts an eyebrow. "Better keep that put away unless you mean something with it, Daisuke."
This is horribly strange, but now we're both blushing. "Um..." He says.
"I..."
"Um..."
"Yeah..."
I mean, I'm...I can see what I'm looking at, can I? I know that before...I really threw myself in and didn't look ahead...but I'm not blind, am I? There's...something...isn't there?
We're getting close to school, and the best thing about that, is that tomorrow night...I can't wait until tomorrow night...
~~~~~
I let myself be dragged along as Daisuke takes a frantic pace toward school. More than once he has to save himself from running over someone or something. When we're in sight of the school, he stops abruptly and I hurtle past him; immediately he latches one arm around my waist and keeps me from flying past.
By doing so, our bodies are touching; his face is just barely an inch from mine, and both of us are breathing rather heavily. It takes all of my willpower to not kiss him right there; I think I can see the same look mirrored in his eyes. But if he doesn't want to pursue the matter, then I won't either.
"Thanks, Daisuke," I spit out between breaths, "I could've been in quite a mess."
He laughs, a hint of disappointment in it, and lets me go, and together we walk into class. We barely make it to class before the bell rings and collapse into our seats. I notice that Daisuke has a big, dumb grin on his face, and I probably do too. I settle into my chair, but I can't take my mind off of him, so I sit and stare at the back of his head, not particularly caring to get involved in class.
The class finishes after too long of a time; I get up and wave goodbye to Daisuke, inviting him to stop by later tonight, and head out the door for soccer practice.
~~~~~
I think that my dear Ken has forgotten that I too have soccer practice. Oh well, we are on different teams and all. And we wouldn't have been going to the same fields... all right, so maybe I just wanted to spend time with him.
Am I fucking pathetic or what?
I end up walking home with Takeru. I saw him at his basketball practice and he sort of started to follow me.
"Well, well, how's everything going?" He asks, nudging me in the side.
"Pretty good." I grin. "I showed up at his apartment this morning and we walked to school..."
He grins right back at me. "Aren't you glad that he started going to our school?" He asks, poking me in the arm.
I pause for a moment, thinking that over. "Hmm... well, I suppose that I am. Just a little bit..." He punches me this time, and sighs.
"I'm really glad that you're going through with this. I think we were all getting sick of you pining over Ken..."
That's it. "Oh Takeru, you're going to die!"
I chase him back to our building. That was fun. I'm panting. "You're so going to pay when I get my hands on you."
He smirks. "Wouldn't you rather get your hands on Ken?" He asks, wiggling an eyebrow at me.
I muse thoughtfully on that line of thought. "Well, sure, but he's not here..."
I have a sudden sinking feeling as Takeru grins and points behind me. We're inside the actual apartment building, and the elevator is nearby. He's pointing behind me, and there's only one thing...person...that could make him have *that* look on his face.
"Um, hi Ken..." I mumble, turning around and blushing. He has this blank look on his face, kind of shocked, and kind of ripping out my heart. "I, um, need to go upstairs, I can hear my mom killing Jun and I need to go hop in on the action.
"Wait, Daisuke!" I can hear Ken yelling after me as I run full tilt down the hallway, the elevator is at the end of the hall. I don't turn around, and I punch the button, mortified beyond belief.
I don't know why I feel so damned blushy *now*!
I get up to my apartment, I can smell dinner cooking. I rush past Jun, who's sitting on the couch, watching something on TV... I slam my bedroom door behind me and flop down on the bed, pulling a pillow over my face.
"Daisuke, what's wrong?" Chibimon asks.
"Nothing." I mumble.
"But..."
And then the phone rings.
And rings again.
And again...
"Daisuke, it's for you!"
"Who is it?" I shout back. Chibimon's nudging my arm.
"It's Takeru. Pick up the phone!"
Chibimon blinks up at me as I answer the phone. "I am so going to kill you, Takeru!" I shout into the receiver.
There's a pause, and then someone speaks up. And it's not Takeru. "I'll let him know."
"Ken?" I ask, falling back on my bed. I can hardly breathe. Chibimon looks about as confused as I feel...
"Hai..."
"Um...about earlier..."
"What is it?"
"I didn't mean it the way that it sounded..."
"Oh really?" He asks.
"Um... where are you calling from anyway?"
"I'm at Takeru's. Now...Daisuke...how did you exactly mean what you said?"
"Um..." I fumble for something to say. But I really don't know what I should say. Beyond telling him the truth...
"Well, maybe I did mean it the way that it sounded." I mumble.
"Good."
"Um...I think that maybe we need to have a talk before we go to the dance. You know, face to face..."
"That's a good idea. I'll meet you on the landing between your and Takeru's floors."
"Okay...I'll see you then."
"Good."
"What's happening, Daisuke?" Chibimon asks.
I shrug and sigh pathetically. "I don't rally know."
Ken...He'd been so emotionless on the phone... I finally end up hanging up the phone. "Well, you can handle whatever he throws at ya."
I smile. "I hope so."
I end up creeping out of my room, and Jun shoots me an innocent look. "You can do it, Daisuke."
"How do you know?"
She shrugs. "I was listening on the other side. Now go pick up the pieces of that before you really regret it."
I stare at her, rather blankly. "I'll kill you later, Jun."
She smiles at me. "Not if I kill you first. Now *shoo*!"
I shoot her a glare and leave the apartment behind.
~~~~~
It surprises me sometimes that two people who know that they are in love with each other will go to great lengths to hide it. Of course, pointing this out means that I, too, am part of the great multitude that does it. I suppose, then, that makes me obligated to do something about it. After all, I'm *not* a hypocrite...
I sigh and sit on the stairs, waiting for him. I suppose that this sort of defense mechanism inside me takes over if it thinks I'm going into a situation that I might regret later. It turns me cold, for lack of a better term.
But I must admit that I was hurt seeing Daisuke run like a bat out of hell the moment he saw me behind him. True, of course, he had made a statement not meant for my ears, but...
I don't know. I would have been happy with almost every other reaction than that.
So I begin racking my brain, trying to piece together something that will finally bridge the gap between us. Because I know I won't be able to handle it if he runs away again. I construct a thousand logical arguments why he and I should be together. I make sure every statement both he and I know is true. By the end of the five minutes, I have mentally planned out my point so well anyone with half a mind could see my point.
Then I feel a hand tapping timidly on my shoulder. I jump in surprise and turn around.
"Um...hi, Ken."
His face is almost expressionless, and he stands rigid, as if he's a soldier waiting for inspection. And yet, behind his stony countenance, I see a mixture of fear and hope; he and I both know that before we part ways this night we will either be on opposite sides of a great rift, or together at last.
"Daisuke."
But my argument fizzles before it can get started. I realize that no amount of logic will provide a good reason for us. So it dies on my tongue.
And instead, I step close to him, reach out, and bring my lips to his.
When we break, his eyes wide with shock and yet radiating happiness.
"Daisuke...I realized that I want to go to the dance with someone who's more than just my friend. I love you, Daisuke, and...I'm hoping that, perhaps, you feel the same way, too?"
He grins through his shock and nods. "I thought you'd never say those words!"
I smile, and my hand snakes down to find his. Together we walk back up to his apartment.
~~~~~
I don't know if I honestly expected this to be so simple. If I'd just stood around and *talked* to him... "I'm sorry that I ran. I-I freaked..."
He holds my hand tightly and smiles. He has a beautiful smile, beautiful eyes-*he's* beautiful! "It's all right, Daisuke..."
But I'm sure that I hurt him... "I won't ever do that again." I whisper. We pause down the hall from my apartment. "I wasn't thinking...I know that's happened before. But...I've always had faith in you, and look at what I went and did..."
He holds up my hand and kisses it softly. "I told you that it's all right, Daisuke. I love you."
I smile, and wind an arm around him, pressing my lips to his own. "I love you too." I whisper against his lips.
We stand there for a long time...I'm not sure how. Just holding each other. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life... Chibimon might be my best friend, but Ken... He's something more. He's the other part of my soul that I was yearning for, perhaps? I think I'm being too poetic...
There's one thing that I am sure of, though. This year I know that I've gotten that I ever wanted for Christmas...
"Come on, let's go in, it's cold."
I kiss him again and he smiles. "That helped...I'm not so cold anymore."
"I want to keep you warm forever."
"That's all that I've ever wanted..."