Potter Hour 2

Hi, this is my first fanfic. It's about Harry Potter and his friends, well… I included enemies. Hey, what's Rush Hour 2, Potter style without some evil freak? Please enjoy this, no rude comments, please. Also, since this is like a movie, there will be no uploads on chapters. The whole thing will be like one chapter!

All the credit for this fanfic is given to the makers of Rush Hour 2. They are the best! I hope they make a Rush Hour 3! Quote from the movie "Damn, he ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3!" Carter. He is talking about Ricky Tan.

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Harry - Lee

Ron - Carter

Dumbledore - Superintendent Chin

Draco - Ricky Tan

Hermione - Isabella Semolina

Parvarti, Lavendar, etc.- Girls at the heaven on Earth massage parlor

Ginny - Hu-Li

Cho - women at Heaven on Earth massage parlor

Seamus - Kenny

Snape - Steven Reign

Neville - Horrible singing man at the club

P.S.- Ginny and Ron are not related, no one is in this fanfic!!!

LET'S GET ON WITH THE MOVIE NOW! ^_^

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"Vacation time!" shouted Ron Weasley, " Yea, come on, Harry (Potter), let's get on the plane. Onto the Muggle World!"

"O.K.!" said Harry.

With that they were off. Not long after they arrived at the Hong Kong Muggle airport, a taxi they called picked them up. Harry worked at the Hong Kong's Ministry of Magic and he knew a lot of Chinese.

When Potter got his Ferrari, they were riding and singing along to The Beach Boys CD, the song California Girls.

"I wish they all could be California girls!" they both sang.

When Weasley saw too Chinese girls in a car. He looked in the Chinese dictionary and said, "Ouw day yut chie mok sum tom mai suk ur man!"

The two girls looked at him, as if he was crazy, and drove off. Ron was so mad, that he took Harry's CD and threw it out the window.

"Hey, what was that for?" cried Harry," You never touch a Wizard's CD!"

"Did you see where those girls drove to?" asked Ron.

"You scared them off!" Harry informed him.

"I just invited them for a drink!" whined Weasley.

"You invited them to get naked an' sacrifice a small goat!" Harry said.

"Which one was goat?" asked Ron shocked.

"You owe me a copy of Beach Boys Greatest Hits, Volume 2!" Harry told Ron.

" Don't be giving me attitude, Harry. I've been here three days and we haven't done shit. We haven't been to a club, haven't even talked to a girl. I'm on my vacation, and I want some mu-shu" cried Ron.

"Mu-shu? You're hungry?" Harry questioned.

"Not Mu-shu. Mu-shu. I want to see some women. Now stop playing dumb and show me the shu!" shouted Ron

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Potter had gotten a call from his boss

"Potter, there was a bombing at the American Embassy. Two American translators were killed." Superintendent Dumbledore told him.

"Any leads?" Harry whispered concerned.

"We think it is Ricky Tan. If you don't want to take the case, I'll understand." Superintendent Dumbledore supplied.

"No, it is my duty!" Harry said before he hung up.

"What was that? Did you just pick up another bloody case? Did we just take another bloody case on my vacation?" yelled Ron madly.

Harry smiled at Ron.

"Of course not! My Superintendent just invited us to a club tonight. Big party." lied Harry.

"Don't be messing' with me, Harry. I will kick your bloody ass! I'll slap you so hard; you'll end up in the Ming Dynasty! I mean it Harry, I bitch-slap you back to Bangkok!" warned Ron.

"Ron, would I ever lie to you? You're my friend! Remember?" Harry lied again.

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Ron followed Harry out of the car, the two men making their way to the door of the Raven Club. Ron was combing his hair, getting himself ready for a night on the town, he stopped when he spotted two hot WOMEN walking into the club.

"Now, this is what I'm talking about! A real Hong Kong's club. I wonder if there are any other hot witches, like Fleur!" Ron said, "Just relax and don't worry about a thing. I'll hook you up in there. You got condoms? No? Here take this, it's magnum, you can fold it in half."

Ron danced through the door and Harry followed. The Raven Club- a dark, upscale club that was packed with GANGSTERS, BEAUTIFUL GIRLS and CIVILIANS. Harry and Ron walked in. Harry was trying to keep a low profile as Ron stares up at the stage, where a man was singing Karaoke -- the most painful rendition of Michael Jackson's "DON'T STOP 'TILL YOU GET ENOUGH."

"I'll meet you at the bar in five minutes. They don't like tourists in here so try to blend in. I'm going to the washroom." Harry informed Ron.

"Blend in? How do I blend in? I'm two feet taller than everyone here!" Ron shouted, very hysterically.

Harry walked off, trying not to be seen. Ron took a seat beside an old man.

"How are you doing tonight?" Ron asked cheerfully," You come here often?"

The old man tried to ignore Ron and motioned to the stage. Neville was on stage, singing horribly and mostly out of tune.

"That is the worst singing I've ever heard!" Weasley commented," It sounds like the sound you hear in prison after lights out!"

Harry tried to go into a private room, but was stopped by two security guards. He quickly told the two guards he was going to the washroom. That was until he heard Ron's impersonation of Michael Jackson. He ran to find Ron on stage singing. Ron sang," Come closer, oh get closer! Cause I'm burning now! Just love me-e-e, 'til you don't know how-owowowowow! Keep on 'til the force don't stop! Don't stop 'til you get enough, Jamone! 'Til the force don't stop; Don't stop 'til you get enough! Ow! Jamone! Jamone, girls! Jamone!" He was doing a head-on impersonation of Michael Jackson.

"Weasley, get off the stage!" whispered Harry from backstage.

But Ron, who was too into dancing with the girls and getting more to dance on stage with him, didn't hear and instead kept singing," DON'T STOP 'TIL YOU GET ENOUGH" by Michael Jackson. When Ron turned around he saw Harry, he called," Jamone!"

"Ron!" Harry cried back.

"Jamone! Jamone!" was all Ron's reply.

"Ron!" Harry tried again.

"Jamone, Harry!" Ron replied, finally realizing that Harry had to talk to him he sang," I'll be right back! I'll be right back!!"

"Ron!" Harry cried desperately.

"Harry, they love me out there! I'm a god to them!" Ron told Harry gleefully.

"We are here undercover trying to find Draco Malfoy!" Harry blurt out.

"I knew you was lyin'! I knew you was lyin'! You a liar!!!!" Ron exclaimed madly

"I'm sorry!"

"We have to find Draco Malfoy. We've got to tread softly!" he told him.

"Who taught you how to rouse the bar like that? Tread softly!" he cried," Now give me that badge!"

"No, no!" he tried to resist but he just couldn't.

"Jo tie! Jo tie!" He yelled," Ouw han lai day fan ou kai tom mai fun gauw, right now!"

No one moved a muscle. He slowly backed up to Harry because all the gangsters were staring at him in an odd expression.

"What did I just say?" he asked.

"You just told everyone to pick up their samurai swords and shave your but!" he said.

"I said that?" Harry nodded; he had an advantage at knowing Chinese.

"Ok, come out here and translate for me!"

As Ron tried to pull Harry out, he tried to pull back. Unfortunately they were already on stage and Harry didn't want to make a fool out of himself in front of Ron and all the gangsters.

"All the triads and ugly woman on this side and all the fine women on this side!" he shouted," Translate."

"Cou wa souw yow seen san cay ii been, lang leuw jouw cay goou been. (He said all the men stand on this side and all the beautiful woman stand on this side)" No one moved.

"Ok maybe your not hearing me too well. Who knows Draco Malfoy here? Draco Malfoy?" Ron said, he was very irritated.

"Deuw emm juu! Ouw ga pung yow yum jeuw jouw, yee ga sought sought day! (I'm sorry! My friend got drunk, now he is quite mental!)" All the gangsters laughed at this, getting Ron all mad.

"Oh, I see what's going on here-- "

" Ginny!" Harry interrupted.

Harry jumped off the stage and started chasing Ginny and the other people. Ron automatically followed.

"When I come back here and find any of y'all singing Michael Jackson. I'll go and arrest your asses!" Ron warned before he left.

They put on a wild chase. Finally, they came to two forks in the road. They took the straight one, straight up. They climbed up the bamboo sticks. Harry clambered and climbed too.

"L.A.P.D., move aside!" Ron was still far behind, when he caught up he shouted," Harry hold up!" Then he saw a guy fall off the bamboo sticks," Uhhh… Hell No! Uh Uh! Harry, I'm taking the stairs!"

Meanwhile, Harry had reached the top. Ginny was no where in sight, he turned around and Ginny used a piece of long bamboo to knock him off. He was holding on for his dear life. Ginny had a very sinister look on her face and was about to finish him off.

"Jow houw la, Kobe! (Go away, Kobe!)" An old woman had said when he was running up the stairs. When he got to the top he was exhausted. Ginny had fled from sight.

"Ron, help me!" Harry called from down low.

"Harry! How did you get down there!?" Ron asked

"Never mind! Just help!" he cried.

Ron fumbled with some cord. When Ginny came up behind him and pushed him down too. Harry had tried to warn him, but it was too late.

"Ahhhhhh! Lord Jesus, I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! Ahhhhhhhh!" Ron whined.

"Don't worry, Chinese bamboo is very strong!" Harry assured him. Crack! The bamboo was breaking.

"Ahhhhh!" It kept on cracking and cracking until they all fell.

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"You lied to me!" Ron said.

"I'm sorry!" Harry apologized.

"You're sorry. I just got somebody's old chopsticks stuck up my ass, so don't tell me you're sorry!" Ron replied.

"There was a bombing at the U.S. Embassy- two American translators were killed!" Harry told him.

"So, you think Ricky Tan blew it up?" He asked.

"No, we're going to find out." Harry replied.

"What do you mean we? You are going to find it out. There are over 30 million Chinese people here, get one of them to be your partner!"

"Come on!" begged Harry.

They arrived at HEAVEN ON EARTH MASSAGE PARLOR.

"Where are we now?" Ron demanded.

"Heaven on Earth massage parlor." He answered.

"Now this is what I'm talking about. Now, I'm on vacation. I'm going to go in there get a nice massage and a hot tea bath!" exclaimed Ron.

"Act like a tourist!" Harry warned.

"I am a tourist, Foo!" He retorted, just then a person drove by, fast, in their car," Slow down, kid!"

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"Ohhh! Mr. Potter, what can I do for you?" Cho asked.

"I have come to show British friend a good time!"

"Ohhh… You Bwitish?" Cho asked.

"Yeah, I'm British." Ron said while checking her out.

"You brring Bwitish mo-ney?" she asked.

"I got this, Harry. No really, I've got it."

"Thank you! Right this way…" She approached a large door," Are you ready?"

"Yeah I'm ready! You ready?" Ron said. She opened the doors, inside were girls!," Oh my god! This place is the hook!"

"You pick any girl for you and your friend!" Cho said.

"Any girl?" He asked.

"Any girl!" Cho told him.

"Uhhh… I don't know where to start! Oh! I'll take Lavendar, right there. But I hurt my neck and my back and I need a bit more massage, so I'll take Pavarti, too. Oh, Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet. How about Padma, she good with feet?"

"Oh yes, she very nice!" Cho assured him.

"Oh and her, her too. Oh, her. Oh my God, I can't miss her! And-"

"What are you doing?" Harry asked.

"She said I could have any girl here!"

"Well, hurry up!" Harry was irritated.

"What's your problem, man? You don't jump in front of a black man in a buffet line!"

"Yes, friend have big appetite!" Cho explained," Right this way, gentlemen!"

In the 'quiet room', Harry saw Draco Malfoy and his henchmen. He didn't see Harry though. They had been enemies since childhood. He had grown up to be a death eater of course. It looked like he would be the second Voldemort, when Voldemort was gone. He had all these people near him and Crabbe and Goyle were there too.

"There he is, Draco Malfoy! I'll go call for back up!" Harry whispered.

"That's Draco Malfoy? That's a midget in a bathrobe! Hey, I remember him from Hogwarts! And you don't need back up! I got your back!" Ron said.

"You don't understand, Draco Malfoy is a very dangerous man!" Harry insisted.

"I'm a very dangerous man, now let's go over there and bust him!" Ron cried.

"No! I'll get back up, stay here!" Harry said as he stood up.

"Oh my God! Hold on for on second!" Ron told the girls.

He approached Draco, but Malfoy never looked up. He was working on the computer; he looked different from how Ron remembered. He still had his dumb sleek blond hair and Crabbe and Goyle near him. Oh well! What could they do to him?

"Draco, get up, doll! We've been looking for you everywhere!" Ron said to him.

"I know you, it's Weasel, right? AND I am busy at the moment," Draco replied very plainly.

"Didn't you hear me? I said get up! And don't let this robe fool you, it was the only color left!" Ron got angry.

"You Weasley's are so funny!" Draco said while laughing.

"And you Death Eaters don't hear very well!" Ron retorted," Now get up!"

He grabbed Draco's computer and threw it to the floor, and then he started stomping on it. Draco's group of Death Eaters all stood up, ready to defend Draco. He put his hand up to tell them to sit.

"Little Malfoy!" Ron shouted. Harry came back into the room and saw Ron stomping on Draco's computer.

"Ron!" Harry cried.

"Well, well, well… It's the famous Potter! Where are your adoring fans? Must you need Creevey to give out signed photo's of yourself?" Malfoy teased.

"Come to the Ministry of Magic's office, " Harry whispered.

"What's the big deal? Can't we discuss matters here?" Malfoy asked.

"There was a bombing at the American Muggle Police Station. Two American translators were killed!" Harry told him.

"Get up and come with us!" Ron shouted.

All of Draco's henchmen stood up, glared, and flexed their muscles.

"Oh…I would like to pay you for that laptop!" Ron said nervously.

"No problem," Malfoy said coolly.

"I saw one on the net thing (Internet), it has a DVD player and all that. Yours is an old model," Ron said.

"I have to go now, if you'll excuse me, Potty and Weasel. Bye and have fun!" Malfoy gave a sinister look at them.

As all the henchmen made a circle around Harry and Ron, Ron asked a question," Why didn't you tell me Draco rolls like this?"

"I did! I went like this!" He nodded his head to the right.

"What does this mean?" Ron said, as he mimicked what Harry did.

"It means I go this way and you go that way," Harry told him while nodding his head to the right and left.

"I go this way and you go that way?" He said mimicking Harry once again.

"Yes," Harry said

"Oh O.K.!" Ron replied.

They started beating up all the henchmen. When they were done they were so exhausted.

"Harry…" Ron panted," Why didn't we just use magic?"

They thought for awhile and then groaned. Soon, Ginny's henchmen came, but Harry and Ron were too exhausted to fight. Thus, they were captured.

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I decided to stop it here because it was getting way too long. B the way, ALL the credit goes to the makers of Rush Hour 2! I'll finish it later! I'M SSSOOO TIRED! Please Review and tell me if I should continue!