Author's Note: OMG!! HI! xDD haha why is it that most of my fanfics start out with fights? Well this shall all change...in the next one!! :D Beware though, the next chapter won't be posted till quite awhile. I mean, I've been going through graduation and all that haha. Plus I still owe a picture to someone, which is done, but I need my new scanner. I'm rambling now, aren't I? oh well. xD Just know, it'll be here sooner or later, and that applies to both the picture and the next chapter to this fic!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, the game, yada yada. Wow, that makes me want to cry xDD
The insane, horrible, just might work plan
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"Dammit, Roxas! What the hell are you talking about?!" Axel shouted, confusion lacing his every word.
"Like hell you don't know!" Roxas furiously yelled.
"I don't know, Roxas! Just tell me!"
Yuffie sat on the couch, eyes widened as she witnessed the argument unfold. How did it get this bad? She had tried to intervene, but somehow they couldn't hear her. They probably had selective hearing or something.
Axel started to try and make amends, even though he still didn't know what Roxas was talking about.
"Roxas, I don't know what you're talking about. I really don't, and this is stupid. We're fighting about nothing!"
"Oh, so now this is nothing?! Fine, Axel; if that's what you want, get out of this house! Now! I don't want to be called your boyfriend anymore! I don't ever want to see you again!" By now, Roxas had tears flowing down his cheeks uncontrollably. Axel's face turned blank, eyes devoid of any emotion whatsoever as he quietly turned around.
"If that's what you want…" Axel whispered, and began heading toward the door while Yuffie jumped up to try and stop him.
"Axel! Wait-!" Yuffie stopped abruptly when she saw the look on Axel's face. The problem was that there was no expression whatsoever. Nothing. Nada. Even his eyes were blank, and Axel was a very expressive person. He wore his heart on his sleeves, which is probably what caught Roxas' attention in the first place. Either that or Axel's perversion got to him.
Axel turned his head slightly, muttered a "Leave me alone" and proceeded to walk out the door. Yuffie whirled around to face Roxas as soon as the door slammed. Her face softened only a fraction from her hardened mask as she gazed down at Roxas, who was curled up on the floor, leaning slightly on the wall as he cried.
"Roxas! What the hell was that!? Huh?! Axel's gone and you're not going after him? Seriously though, what were you two even fighting about?!"
"I-I...I don't know..." Roxas looked up at his childhood friend. "Yuff...I don't know if I can fix this-" Roxas broke eye contact, gulped, and then looked back up at his friend. "I need your help to get him back. I don't want to lose him."
"Damn straight you're gonna need my help, Rox-hun. But you know what this means, right? We need…additional help." Yuffie grinned evilly when she saw the horrified look on Roxas' face. "That's right! We're gonna need the help of Kairi, Sora, Tifa, Leon, Cloud, Demyx, Zexion-"
"Ugh. Yuffie, don' even try it. No more than two people. And think about it, Demyx and Zexion are Axel's best friends, he's obviously gonna run to them, so they're out of the question. Don't even think about getting Sora in here, and I don't really know Tifa. Kairi's just gonna be a pain in the ass. Plus, you two don't even really talk. Leon definitely will NOT help us, no matter what."
And just like that, Yuffie's choices were getting cut off.
"Hmm. Hey Rox, why don't we kill two birds with one stone?"
Roxas looked curiously at Yuffie. "What do you mean?"
"Wellll," Yuffie grinned and sat down next to Roxas, whipping out some Kleenex from nowhere and starting to wipe Roxas' face clean of his tears and snot. "We all know that Cloud and Leon have been crushing on each other for, like, ever! We also know that they're not going to make any moves on each other anytime soon."
"Where are you going with this?" Roxas asked irritably.
"Well, Leon's an extremely jealous person. Why don't you pretend to date Cloud, and get Leon all jealous and you know. So that way Leon will finally get it on with Cloud."
Roxas was beyond intrigued, but there was an error to this plan.
"Axel's unpredictable, although he'll act in one of two ways." Yuffie continued, "Because he's an extremely jealous person, he can either: A. Get jealous and, you know, get back with you, which is what we want. Or B. He can get hurt, and think you don't want him anymore. But then again, he'll still try and get you back, won't he? He's like, madly in love with you!" Yuffie giggled as she said this; Roxas blushed slightly.
"Huh...But, we need to talk to Cloud about this, you know, since he really isn't all for these kinda things. But what about risk B? It's too great a chance. I really don't want to lose Axel, you know."
"Yeah I know! Axel's love for you alone will make this plan foolproof. He won't let you go, and I think the sin of envy is gonna get you guys back together, haha! And my mother always said those sins could never help anybody! Well, this'll show her, right?" Yuffie started to cackle wildly, and Roxas leaned ever so slightly away.
"And Cloud?"
Roxas looked in amusement at the falter in Yuffie's laugh, until she waved it off like it was no big deal.
"Don't worry your pretty little head off, I'll deal with him. Hey! C'mon! We gotta strike while the iron's hot! Let's get this plan in motion. To Merlin's!"
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"What?" Cloud asked dumbly, whilst sitting on the couch. Roxas looked nervous beyond belief. It had taken him years to get Cloud's approval and be on his good side. Now, with the help of Yuffie, all of that gained respect? Yeah, all of it, gone in seconds.
Cloud narrowed his eyes and stared at Roxas, Yuffie, then back at Roxas again. Roxas turned into a stuttering mess until he just decided to give up the explanation of his reasoning. Yuffie, however, rolled her eyes and grinned.
"C'mon, hot stuff! The plan's foolproof. I know you've been crushin' on Leon since you came –no pun intended, Spikes, "-Cloud had to roll his eyes at that- "and Roxas is kind of in a situation right now. Sooo… help us, yeah?"
Cloud merely stared at her as if she had grown another head.
"Hey Spikes, you in there? God, are you stupid or what?! Do I need to speak slower? You know, like in the matrix?"
"Shut up Yuffie, let me think."
The silence that followed seemed to go on forever. Cloud mulled things over, looking between Roxas and Yuffie. Yuffie was sighing exaggeratedly while looking at a watch that wasn't really on her wrist, as Roxas kept fidgeting, wishing the earth would just swallow him whole.
Finally, Cloud let out a puff of air.
"Alright. I'll do it."
Roxas could only stare at Cloud, a small smile threatening to break out. Yuffie was already bouncing up and down, telling her plan to Cloud. The small blonde caught Cloud's eye and mouthed a silent 'Thank you'. Cloud, in return, gave a small nod.
"OK! So, let's see what we need to succeed! Hmm… Axel is by no means an idiot, and neither is Leon. So when you see them, you're gonna have to really act." Roxas did not like where this was going. At all. "You'll have to be together at all times, so they don't get you guys separated and interrogate you one on one. You guys have to hold hands, kiss, make out, and all that jazz. You know, as if he were your real boyfriend!" See? Most definitely not what he expected.
"But Yuff- "
"Roxas, you didn't think it through? C'mon, even I knew what we were getting into. The whole pretending thing we would have to do, the kissing and all." Cloud rudely interrupted.
Roxas turned his head to hide the oncoming blush. When he turned his head again, Cloud only raised an eyebrow.
"I…guess. That does make sense, doesn't it?"
"Of course it does! Ok, you guys will have to move this thing into motion bright and early tomorrow morning! I know! You can go to that café place Axel works at, to let him know you're together. Right now, he's probably telling Zexion and Demyx what happened."
Roxas and Cloud gave noises of agreement.
"Roxas, you're sleeping with Cloud tonight."
Roxas decided that this would, in fact, be the best time to have a mad choking fit over his own saliva. Cloud slapped Roxas' back a few times (not with too much force to make it hurt), and Roxas gasped for air.
"Yuffie! Are you insane? Why the hell can't I sleep in my own goddamn house, huh?"
"Use your brain, Rocks-ass. Axel was the seme in your relationship. He obviously has a lot of male pride. He's not gonna stay over at Demyx and Zexion's house if he has a house somewhere else, besides, who would want to share a house with them? You probably won't even get any sleep, if you know what I mean. And since you two just conveniently share an apartment, I don't want you to go back there and make up just yet. We have to get Cloud and Leon together!"
Strangely, what Yuffie was saying made sense.
"All right." Roxas turned and pointedly looked at Cloud. "You're sleeping on the floor." He then proceeded to make his way up to Cloud's room. Cloud, however, could only stare at Roxas in utter disbelief. Yuffie snickered.
"Well, it looks like we know who the girl in this relationship is." When Cloud looked at her, she finally realized what her sentence must have implied. "I meant Roxas! You know Roxas is the girl in this relation- you know what. Forget it. I'm going to bed. See you in the morning, Spikes."
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Axel was having a mental breakdown at Demyx and Zexion's house, sobbing uselessly on the blonde's shoulder.
"Shh...Shh... It's going to be alright. I'm sure you guys were just getting caught in the heat of the battle, you know? It's nothing to worry about, you guys will make up in no time!"
When the sobbing didn't relent, Demyx looked helplessly at Zexion, who was rubbing Axel's shoulder, trying to give him some sort of support.
"Axel, look. I'm sure you guys were just having an off-day. Everything will be fine before you know it."
Axel's sobs finally started to get quieter. Demyx smiled and Zexion gave a sigh of relief.
"You wanna stay for dinner or something? We were just about to eat."
Axel unconsciously wiped at his face with his sleeve and nodded, muttering a quiet thank you.
As Demyx started filling the plates with food, it was as if everything went back to normal. Demyx wanted to do some snazzy trick and show off his skills, but ended up making all the plates crash onto the floor, making a mess of spaghetti. Cue Axel laughing his ass off and Demyx squealing like a little girl. Zexion looked away, trying to hide his smiling face and trying to stop his snickering by stuffing his fist into his mouth.
"Demyx! You dumbass!"
"Now what? Those were our last plates." Zexion helpfully supplied the gang up towards his boyfriend.
Demyx seemed to be in deep concentration for a minute, before he smiled brightly and walked toward the stove, grabbed the pot of spaghetti and walked back to the table to put down his treasure.
"Dig in, boys!" Demyx happily shouted, stuffing his face with the food. He seemed immensely proud of himself. Axel merely shrugged and started to help himself. It took another moment before Zexion decided he'd rather sleep on a full stomach then starve. Besides, he had plans for Demyx and himself that night that would require the energy. Hmm, hopefully Axel wasn't staying the night…
After dinner, Axel said his goodbyes and walked out to his motorcycle. He loved the thing to death, and would often talk with Cloud about it and fixing parts. Usually, at the end of their 'discussions' they would end up racing each other, only for them to tie.
The ride home was obviously quiet, but it was peaceful too. Twilight Town was always warm, but had a constant breeze. In the winter, it was cold, but not snow cold, just a lot of rain. As it was, autumn just started, meaning summer had ended. It was perfect weather, and preferably Axel's favorite season. Axel drove rather slow to enjoy the scenery, leaves starting to turn orange from their originally green color. Everything just seemed calmer, and that's what Axel absolutely loved.
Axel calmly opened his front door, prepared to deal with a pissed-beyond-belief Roxas when…silence. Complete silence. Where was he? Axel looked around the apartment, but there was no sign of Roxas. Axel brushed it off, thinking he was probably hanging out with Yuffie , took a shower, and went to bed.
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Roxas woke up to the energetic Yuffie bouncing on his bed. Wait. What? What the hell was Yuffie doing here? Then a flood of memories invaded Roxas and he looked at his surroundings to be sure. Yeah, sure was true. Hah! And there Cloud was, sleeping on the floor. Apparently Yuffie hadn't gotten to him yet.
"Rocks-ass! Time to get up and put this show on the road!"
"Ugh. Yuffie, wake up Cloud or something."
"No can do, sweetie. Get your perfectly round ass up, and wake up your new pretend boyfriend!"
"Go away!" Roxas all but moaned at the girl. When he could hear nothing, he relaxed and tried to go back to sleep. That is, until Yuffie picked him up and threw him on Cloud.
God damn. For a girl with a small frame she had muscle.
Cloud, however, pinned Roxas to the ground and reached for his sword until he realized it was just said blonde.
"Why the hell did you jump on me?" Cloud asked, irritation clearly shining in his bright blue eyes. His grip, however, did not relent in their –almost- painful hold around Roxas' wrists.
"Daayum!! Cloud, for a pretend scene, it looks pretty damn real!" Yuffie all but shouted, laughing to the high heavens above.
Cloud ignored her and pointedly looked back at Roxas. Roxas stuttered under the blonde's stare, nervous beyond belief.
"Yuffie threw me." Roxas muttered, embarrassed. Yeah, that's right. Roxas was so light weight, that Yuffie (believe it or not could lift two times her body weight; but not everybody had to know that, right?) lifted him up with ease and threw him on Cloud.
Cloud almost smiled, amusement swimming in his blue eyes. Cloud got up and wordlessly helped Roxas up.
Yuffie, barely calming down decided to speak between wheezing for breath.
"You guys...I got the perfect place to put this...into motion. You know that…café Axel works at? Yeah. Well Leon just so happens to get his coffee there… if we can get there in time, we might be able to catch Leon leaving, to let them both know...you guys are…uh...pretending to shack up with each other." Yuffie grinned, her plan making perfect sense in her head. "Hurry up and get dressed guys! We have to hurry."
"Yuff, do you still have a spare set of clothes for me?"
"Mhmm! Totally. They're in my room. Spikes, get ready!"
"Well, get out of my room, short-stuff." Cloud teased lightly. Yuffie laughed out of good humor.
"M'not short, Blondie!"
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Roxas, Yuffie and Cloud stood just outside the café's view so Axel or Leon couldn't see them. Yuffie was giggling with absolute excitement, Cloud looked calm and of course, Roxas was nervous beyond belief. Again. Wow, he hadn't been this nervous since the first time Axel asked him out on a date, and that was a couple of years ago.
"C'mon! It'll be a piece of cake. Just act like he's your real boyfriend or something!" Yuffie tried to encourage Roxas.
'Easier said than done.' Roxas thought.
"But what if it's too soon? I mean we did only break up yesterday. He'll think I'm some sort of slut, or worse! That I was cheating on him! Oh my god what if he thinks-" Cloud promptly shut him up by grabbing his hand and tucking him under his arm so Roxas was right by his side.
"See you Yuffie, unless you'll watch. Which I'm pretty sure you'll do so, since this is too good an offer the pass up." Yuffie squealed in delight, and Cloud somewhat dragged Roxas (not that you could tell. It actually looked like they were walking normally) into the café.
"Shh. Relax, Roxas. Everything will be fine. Just...follow my lead, ok?" Roxas nodded, and slipped into the act of being Cloud's boyfriend.
As expected, Axel was the cashier, and Leon was busy looking over some plans, sipping his coffee contently. Roxas squeezed Cloud's hand and Cloud squeezed back, giving some odd sort of support. When they reached the counter, Cloud spoke in a voice suggesting he had won the lottery. Wow. How come he couldn't act like that? It was awesome.
"Can I have one large hot chocolate, please?" Axel looked up, noticing Cloud as the customer… and Roxas. With Cloud's arm around him. What. The. Fuck.
The redhead's eyes immediately narrowed and he looked at Cloud.
"What the hell are you doing? Get your arm off of Roxas before I forcefully remove it and shove it so far up your ass you'll be able to grab your piece of shit brain." Cloud merely raised a brow and chuckled. Roxas, however, had a look of complete shock on his face although inside he was smiling smugly. Good. He still cared for him.
"I believe I can touch my own boyfriend all I want without getting threats from his ex." Roxas inwardly flinched at that. Why, oh, why he had broken up with Axel? Well, god only knew.
"Excuse me! Roxas is not your boyfriend! He's mine, dipshit." Axel replied, looking like he wanted nothing more than to murder the man. They raced together! Oh, the betrayal!
"Axel. If I remember correctly, I dumped you yesterday when I kicked you out of the house." Roxas quietly muttered.
Cloud tapped his foot impatiently. "Can I get my hot chocolate? Or do I have to go somewhere else?"
Axel had about a million things he wanted to say to Cloud about what he could get, but instead angrily began to make Cloud's drink.
With Axel's back turned, Cloud gave Roxas a thumbs up and a small smile. Making it seem natural, Cloud leaned down and kissed Roxas on the cheek just as Axel turned to give him his drink. Axel's heart nearly stopped in that instant, and he saw red. He had to use all of his self control to not jump over the counter and attack Cloud, or set Cloud's blonde locks on fire, and I mean the kind of self-control Axel had to exert in order not to ram into Roxas the very moment he entered him.
"4.50." Was all the redhead said, afraid he would make threats that would scare even masochists.
Cloud handed him the money in exchange for the drink.
"Hey Rox, we can share the drink if you want." Cloud gave a sheepish grin.
"Sure, I'd love that." Roxas smiled warmly, and he could literally hear Axel gritting his teeth. Inwardly, Roxas could only admire Cloud's acting skills. They were amazing.
The two blondes took seats directly in Leon's line of vision. Wow, way to be discreet. They chatted idly, actually getting to know each other and taking turns sipping the large drink when suddenly a hand clapped onto Cloud's shoulder. Both their heads snapped up to see a very pissed Leon.
"So Cloud, I couldn't help but overhear that you two were now...uh…dating?" Leon looked at Cloud, and Cloud nodded in turn. Out of Roxas' peripheral vision, he could see Axel was still looking at them while pushing buttons with a little too much force.
"C'mon Cloud. It's getting late, and we promised we'd meet up with Yuffie." Roxas lied, just to get out of their current situation.
"That's right. Huh. Well, I'll see you later, Leon, I've got to go." Cloud pulled Roxas up with him and held onto his hand as he dumped the half empty cup into the garbage and waved goodbye at the fuming brunette. Roxas shot one last look at the red head that seemed to be giving a co-worker a hard time.
Once Roxas and Cloud were outside and turned the corner, they were bombarded by an overly excited Yuffie.
"Oh man! Were they jealous or wha?t! See, Roxie, I told you Axel would be jealous! Haha! And did you see Leon?! That has got to be the most expression I've seen on his face since Halloween when he saw Aerith in a dominatrix outfit!"
Cloud gave a snort of amusement as Roxas outright laughed. Yuffie seemed to realize something that made her grin like the Cheshire cat.
"Oh man! I bet you anything Axel is gonna come to Merlin's house tonight! Oohh. C'mon guys, we've got to get ready!" Yuffie dragged Roxas, who in turn mouthed silent 'help me's' at Cloud, and he just kept walking behind them, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
Oh, were they in for it tonight.
God! There you go, first chapter. It took me awhile to actually post this up, I was battling with my inner self xD haha so tell me what you think! You know, through reviewing of course ;D
Please tell me if I should actually continue this or quit while I'm ahead. As always, flames are acceptable, I don't really mind. Just add why it was horrible, yeah? Cool. Geez I feel like I'm forgetting something Haha. Oh! Just so you know, they're like...In their late teens, early twenties. Or something like that. Haha.
Well, till next time!
Ja Ne