3:58 a.m
I sigh as the time blinks in the darkness. I guess I'm not sleeping tonight. For the twelfth time I scan my room making sure everything is as it was 4 minutes ago. Pictures on my dresser and walls. Closet and bathroom door is closed. The television is turned off with the DVD player. I find myself sighing again in exasperation. My insomnia is hitting me hard tonight and it's not secret why either. I can't stop thinking how I got myself into this mess but then again considering it is I that is in this mess, it comes as no surprise to those that know me. My eyebrows scrunch together in thought as my leg rubs my sweat pants smoothly down. I find my body turning on my stomach as I lay my head sideways on the pillow looking at the picture on my nightstand. It's too dark to make it out but staring at it for a couple of minutes everyday, I don't need the light to see it. A man no older than 20 is holding a new born baby girl with the widest smile making his eyes crinkle. I sigh and turn on my back staring at the ceiling.
I slide my hand behind my head and lay there as comfortably as I can with my troubled mind. I wish I could hear a noise in this house but all I hear is the steady beating of my heart and the racing thoughts in my mind. It's crazy really how quiet this house is. How crazy it is around the house. I look out my window and see the darkness of the night. There's too many damn lights on in L.A it's hard to make out the stars. I sigh once again as I look back at the clock.
4:06 a.m
I reach for my phone on the nightstand and text my friend. Hoping she's awake.
I can't sleep-Hothead
I only wait a couple of minutes before my phone vibrates.
Because of tomorrow?-Angel
I smile as I press the buttons down.
Yeah, I have butterflies. They tickle-Hothead
I find myself thinking about tomorrow and sure enough I feel them fluttering.
Just relax. She'll be crazy not to like you-Angel
Times like these I begin to wonder if she's being a friend or if it's really her speaking.
What if she says no? I really like this girl-Hothead
Well then she's not worth it if she can't see how amazing you are. Go to sleep. You'll need your beauty sleep : P-Angel
I'm already Gorgeous! but you're right. Night.-Hothead..
With that last text, I leave my phone back on the nightstand. Making sure it's still charging I lay back on my side. If this girl that leaves me butterflies, clammy hands, stuttering heart, trembling lips, and makes me feel like summer all year long isn't worth it.
No one is worth it because she, to me, is worth everything.
With a peaceful and determined mindset I find myself lulling to sleep.
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