Ode to Fate

Disclaimer: I do not own Rosario Vampire or any part of its franchise.

Enjoy:

Gather 'round readers and writers, young and old;

For a story that has yet to be told.

I speak of Tsukune, who finds himself often when writers are in the mood;

To be violently, and brutally, and mercilessly screwed.

But not by a girl as you may suspect;

Well, at least, not just yet.

It is by a cruel Mistress that uses him in her ploy;

Because, lets face it, he's her boy toy.

I speak of Fate as you might have guessed;

Who has made his life a thorough mess.

First with a pink haired beauty;

Who when unsealed redefines the word hottie.

Her form is so perfect it can only be called hot;

But her pride pushes her to be a rooster-block.

I am sorry, my dear friends, for I never know where they lurk;

Those very evil censors who make me bleep out the word ferk.

Let us speak now of a vision of beauty;

Though she is a girl, she is certainly no lady.

She has decided Tsukune to be her Destined love-interest;

In order to lure him, she use her two Mount Everests.

Then came a girl with a frightening intellect;

Who, despite her great mind, in still just an insect.

She dreams of a threesome on its very way;

Despite both Tsukune and Moka screaming nay.

Then comes a cool and shy young girl;

Who has all the fashion sense of a hillbilly named Earl.

Though her heart is in the right place and is as pure as crystal;

The boy now walks around with a rape whistle.

After whom arrives a curious witch, very alike a crow;

Whose mind tends to fall very, very low.

Her masochist tendencies and ideas not quite lame;

Could still make Hell look very, very tame.

And then comes a younger girl, a sister in fact;

Who likes to beat out of Tsukune the ever living crap.

Around she goes, with a shape shifting bat;

That makes you ask: Writers, are you on crack?

I forgot to mention a werewolf who thinks he's really cool;

But in fact, as Kurumu described him, he's a just complete tool.

I could go on about the family of the pink haired beauty;

But I hear the censors knocking on my door quite crudely.

So it is time we part, for now at least;

Lest some angry reader arrive and has me as a fest.

I would like to apologize for any mistake you may encounter;

For I assure you its the fault of my god damn computer.

Please do not hate me friends for what I have said;

I just thought I'd write this before going to bed.

So without further ado, I would like to say thank you;

For sticking this far into the poem, mind you.

Stick around fanfiction for a long, long happy while;

It beats going back to the real world by a long mile.