Title: What's Important
Author: Brendini
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Nothing that you don't already know, one way or another.
Summary: Sam gets a scare, and rediscovers what's important.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 is not mine. I'm not trying to take anyone's rights, or money, so please don't sue me. All you'll get are a bunch of Trixie Belden books, and they won't pay your court costs!
Dedication: This story is dedicated to all of the survivors out there, and all those who didn't make it. I miss you, Pam, and, Mom, I'm so glad you made it through! Please, make sure you do your monthly self-exams. I don't care what they say, it does make a difference! That goes for the men out there, too!
"Welcome back, SG-1," General Hammond said to the team that had just emerged from the Stargate. "Debrief at 1500."
"Yes, sir," Jack said. "Carter? Why don't you take the locker room first?"
"Thank you, sir," Sam answered.
"Let's go, guys," Jack said as they headed to the infirmary.
Meanwhile, Sam headed to shower and change. She couldn't wait to get all the dust off! It seemed like all they ever came across were forests, or deserts. Just once, couldn't they find a nice, flat, grassy planed?
She gathered her shampoo and shower gel, along with her towels, and hit the shower. While she washed her hair, she let her mind wander. She had been stunned when she learned that a good friend of hers from the academy had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily, they had found it early, so she would probably be fine.
Bearing that in mind, she decided now might not be a bad time to start doing self-exams. After all, that's what had saved her friend. Of course, she had read several articles on the subject, and they always included instructions. She went back in her memory, and followed the instructions from memory. Nothing in her left breast, good. Other side now-what was that?
Sam was startled to notice a strange feeling in the side of her right breast. She felt it experimentally again. Yes, that felt like a lump.
"Oh, god!" she said to herself. It couldn't be! Women her age didn't get strange masses. Shaking off the panic and denial, Sam quickly finished her shower and dressed. She headed straight for the infirmary. She needed to talk to Janet.
"That was fast, Carter," Jack said.
"Yes, sir. Excuse me, sir, I need to talk to Janet," she said, brushing past him. He watched her quizzically.
What's up with her?" Daniel asked.
"Who knows? She said she had to talk to Janet." Jack had noticed, though, there had been a tinge of panic in her eyes. Carter never panicked, so something must be up.
'Oh, well,' he thought. 'I'm sure it's nothing.'
Finally, Sam found Janet.
"Janet, I need to talk to you."
"Okay," Janet Fraiser answered slowly. "Why don't we go into my office?"
Janet closed her office door behind them. "What's up?"
"I found something."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I think I found a lump, in my breast."
Janet sucked in her breath. "Okay, why don't we get you in the exam room? We'll see what we can find."
After changing into a gown, Sam met Janet in the other room.
"Okay, this may seem weird, but it's not. I need to examine both your breasts."
After Sam nodded, Janet proceeded. She started with her left breast, working her way around the tissue. Encouraged when she found nothing, Janet continued with Sam's right breast. She stopped when she felt something.
"Does that hurt?" she asked, pressing on it.
"No."
"Okay. Is this the one you found?"
"Yeah, but I didn't go any further. I just panicked."
"Okay, let me finish this one, and I'll do the rest of your exam."
Sam nodded.
Twenty minutes later, there were no other lumps, and the rest of the routine tests were done. Janet told Sam to get dressed, and they met backin her office.
"I'm concerned about that lump, Sam. I think we should do a biopsy."
"Do you think it's cancer?"
"It's hard to tell. It could just be a cyst, in which case, there's nothing to be concerned about."
"So, when does all of this happen?"
"I can do the biopsy right now. Then we can send it out for analysis."
Sam nodded. "Let's do it, then. I want this over! How long will it take to get the results?"
"It's probably going to take a day or so. Go ahead and get back into a gown, and I'll get us set up."
Sam got changed quickly, trying not to think about what was happening. Sam joined Janet in the room she had prepared for the procedure. She laid down and took a deep breath. Janet nodded at the nurse, and they got started.
Not much later, Sam was back in Janet's office pacing.
"Sam, why don't you go home?" Janet asked her.
"I have a debriefing at 1500 hours. I can't go home."
"I could explain-"
"NO!"
Janet looked at her, shocked. "Sam, you can't bottle this up. You have to deal with it."
"I'm going to deal with it. I just - I don't' want anyone to know. Not until there's something to worry about."
"Sam, let your friends help you. We're here to lighten your load."
"I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me."
"Do you really think Colonel O'Neill will ever feel sorry for you?"
Sam stopped pacing, and looked at Janet.
"Sam, what would you want him to do, in your place?"
"I would want him to tell me," she admitted.
"And wouldn't he expect the same from you?"
"Probably."
"So tell him, at least. I'm not saying tell the whole world, or the SGC for that matter. Just tell Colonel O'Neill, if not Daniel and Teal'c. The general would even be supportive."
"I'll think about it, okay?"
"I guess that's all I can ask. I'll call you as soon as I get the results. Call me if you need anything," Janet practically begged.
"I will. I'll see you later."
Sam headed to her lab. There were still a couple of hours before the debriefing. She could at least get her report done, if not work on her other work.
She typed her report, trying not to think about anything else.
"Hey, Carter. Whatcha doin'?"
"Just finishing up my report, sir."
"I couldn't find you at lunchtime."
"I was with Janet."
"Is everything okay?"
She looked at him sharply. "Yes, everything is fine, sir. Was there anything you needed?"
Jack stepped back at her words. "I guess not," he said slowly. "See you at the debriefing, Carter." He headed out the door.
"Wait! Sir, I'm sorry!" Carter called out, then began crying.
Jack heard her words, and her sobs, and he turned around. When he saw the tears on her face, he closed the door behind him, and crossed the room quickly. "Sam?"
Her sobs continued, and seemed to worsen. Jack was alarmed. Throwing caution to the wind, he pulled her into his arms. She tensed for a moment, then sagged against him. He let her cry, rubbing her back and making soothing noises. Normally, he was terrible in these situations. His actions just seemed to be happening, though. Finally her sobs subsided.
"Sorry, sir. I just, I don't know - "
"Sam, Janet told me to check in with you."
"What?"
"She just said you might need a friend," he explained hastily. "What's going on?"
She pulled away slightly and looked up at him. She nodded to herself.
"Okay. I don't want this to get out, sir."
"My lips are sealed."
"I found a lump."
Jack was quiet for a moment. He knew those were frightening words for a woman to say. "When?"
"Today, after the mission."
"That's why you were in a hurry."
"Yeah. I'm sorry about that, sir."
"Jack."
"What?"
"Call me Jack. I can't be a very good friend if I'm 'sir'."
"I can think of a few people who would argue with that. Okay, Jack."
"So, what's next?"
"Janet did a biopsy. The results will be back in a day or so, she said."
"So you're gonna need to be distracted."
"I'm already distracted." She looked at her watch. "We're going to be late."
He looked at her sharply. "Okay, but I am ordering you not to shut yourself off."
"Yes, sir."
"How about a movie?"
"I honestly don't think I could concentrate on a movie tonight. But maybe cards?"
"You'd rather lose your money? No problem!"
She laughed. "Thank you."
"Any time you need anything, all you have to do is ask, Sam. Now let's go, before Hammond sends out a search party!" he said with one last squeeze. It had felt so good, holding her in his arms. He just wished it had been for a different reason.
Sam and Jack were both distracted during the meeting. Sam was unusually short with her explanations, and Jack made very few comments. After they had been dismissed, Jack stopped Daniel and Teal'c.
"Hey, guys. How about cards at my place tonight?" he asked.
"Okay, sure," Daniel said, looking at Teal'c.
"That would be enjoyable, O'Neill."
"Great. So, 1830, and I'll order the pizza."
"Okay. I have some things to finish up, then I'll be there. You want to ride with me, Teal'c?" Daniel asked.
"Certainly. I will be anticipating your knock."
"See you guys later," Sam said, heading to her lab. She knew everything would be okay, with her friends around her. She still didn't want to say anything, not until she knew the results.
She shut her lab down, and headed for the outside world. She wanted to stop at the store before she went to Jack's. She figured the least she could do was buy the beer.
When she got to Jack's she was afraid she would be treated differently, somehow. To her surprise, no one acted any differently. By eleven o'clock, she was surprised the evening had passed so quickly.
"Well, I'm gonna call it a night," Daniel said. "You ready, Teal'c?"
"I am. Good night, Major Carter, O'Neill," Teal'c said, nodding.
After they left, Sam started cleaning up.
"You know, you don't have to do that."
"I know," she answered. "But it's a little less time I have to spend by myself."
"Why don't you stay here tonight? I've got a guest room, for cryin' out loud."
Sam looked startled, then slowly nodded her head. "Okay, thank you, Jack."
He grinned at her use of his name.
After they had finished cleaning up after the card game, Sam started to pace in the living room. Jack watched her for a few minutes from his seat on the couch. Finally, he'd had enough.
"Sam, will you please stop that? Come sit down."
Sam stopped in her tracks and looked at him, startled.
"Come on. You're making me nervous," he said with a smile.
"Sorry," she said, sitting next to him.
"Hey, everything's gonna be okay, Sam."
"I'm just so scared, I don't know if I can handle this. Is the waiting ever going to end?"
"Yeah, it will. You just have to get through tonight. WE have to get through tonight," he corrected himself. "You're not in this alone."
"I know. I guess I just keep thinking back to when Dad had cancer. He wasn't going to make it, Jack. Selmak was his last chance."
He pulled her into his embrace. "And you're afraid you won't have that option?"
"Yes! I know that sounds completely selfish of me, but I can't help but think that Jolinar really screwed things up for me."
"Sam, you don't have a selfish bone in your body. Just because you want something to be different, that doesn't make you selfish. Now, come on, why don't we watch a movie? It might get your mind off things."
"Okay, anything's worth a try."
They settled on the couch, neither wanting to break contact. Unconsciously, Jack began rubbing a circle in the small of Sam's back. She started to feel a warmth spreading through her limbs. She looked at him, and his hand froze.
"Sorry."
"Don't be," she replied.
Suddenly, the air was thick.
"Sam, I - "
"Jack, please."
That was all it took. The pleading in her voice, the longing in her eyes, were too much. He traced his finger over her cheek. She leaned into his caress, wanting more.
"I don't want you to regret anything," he said softly.
"I won't."
With that, Jack leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. It was a gentle, sweet kiss. Finally, the kiss deepened, and the air crackled with the electricity between them. It was hot and frantic, all the emotions between them flaring up. Sam couldn't get close enough to him. Eventually, the need for air surpassed the need for each other.
"Wow!"
"Yeah," he agreed. Words seemed to have escaped them both.
She curled up into him, as close as she could.
Jack took a deep breath. "As much as I want this, I don't think we should continue. I don't think either one of us are thinking straight."
"I know," she said, disappointed.
They ended up talking all night, finding out some of the little things they didn't know about each other. Sam was in the middle of a story about her and her brother, when she stopped suddenly.
"What is it, Sam?"
She looked at him. "It's nothing. I just had a maudlin moment."
"Well, stop. I only want to see smiles on your face."
"I know. I've been doing pretty well, too. I just started thinking, and my thoughts kind of took over on me."
"Staged a little mutiny, did they? That's what you get for thinking too much!" he joked.
"Yeah, it does usually get me in trouble, doesn't it?"
"That's right. Stick with me. I'll teach you not to do that!"
She smiled.
"Sam, you're going to be okay. You have your family, and your friends. And you have me. Whatever it takes, I'll be here for you. Even if it means retiring again."
"I'm just so afraid. This is something I can't control. I can't just enter a new protocol, or dial myself out. This is real."
"Yeah, and so am I. I mean it, Sam. You won't be alone, no matter what! Now, get some sleep," he told her. "It won't be much, but at least you won't be punch drunk from exhaustion."
All she could do was nod, and nestle into his shoulder.
Jack watched her sleeping, a smile crossing his face. If he could do nothing else for her, he could watch over her, keeping her safe while she slept. Eventually, he had to wake her. It was time to save the world again.
They showered and dressed, neither having an appetite. As they got ready to leave, he pulled her to him.
"It's going to be okay, Sam. I don't know how, but it will be. You call if you need me for anything, okay?"
"Okay. You may not be able to get any other phone calls, though."
He smiled, then took her lips in a soul-searing kiss. By the time it ended, they were both flushed.
"Are you sure we can't take the day off?" Sam asked.
"No, we can't. Besides, Janet wouldn't know how to get a hold of you."
"There's always my cell phone."
"Come on. The day will go faster if you're at work, doing something."
"Okay. One more, though. Okay?"
This time, when she pulled his mouth to hers, she poured all of the love in her heart into the kiss. Finally, they broke apart, breathless.
"Okay, let's get you to work, before I change my mind," Jack said. She smiled.
They met again in the parking lot of the base. They greeted each other the same as any other morning. If anyone thought it odd that they had arrived at the same time, no one dared mention it. They passed through all of the security measures, being careful to make it look like any ordinary day. Only they knew the turmoil they endured. Finally, Jack left her at her office.
"Don't forget. If you need anything, I'm only a phone call away. I can be here in less than five minutes."
She smiled. "I know. I'll be okay. Don't worry."
With one last squeeze of her hand, he was gone. She entered her lab and started her day. Before she knew it, she was unexpectedly occupied with some new technology one of the teams had brought back.
She was surprised when Jack walked in at noon.
"You ready for lunch?" he asked.
She was equally surprised to find that she was hungry.
"Actually, yes. Are you buying?"
"Absolutely!"
They met Daniel and Teal'c in the mess hall, and they all sat together. Lunch passed by uneventfully, until Janet came looking for Sam.
"There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!" Janet exclaimed.
"Why? Are they back?" Sam asked anxiously.
"Yes! There's no sign at all! Everything is okay!"
Sam seemed to deflate with relief. Daniel looked at Janet, then her, and asked.
"Sam? What's going on?"
"I've been waiting for some test results from a biopsy Janet did for me. I found a lump yesterday."
"And everything's okay?" Daniel asked Janet.
"Absolutely. There's no sign of anything abnormal."
Daniel looked at Jack. He seemed awfully calm.
"You knew about this!"
"Janet sent me to check in with Sam. I just kind of dragged it out of her."
"And you didn't say anything?"
"It wasn't my place, Daniel. Sam made the choice not to tell anyone, except Janet and me. I couldn't go against her wishes."
"Daniel, I didn't want to worry anyone unnecessarily. If things had turned out differently, I would have headed straight for you," Sam assured him.
"Don't get me wrong, Sam. I'm very glad the results were negative. I guess I thought we could talk about anything."
"Daniel, I wasn't going to tell anyone, except Janet, and that's only because she's my doctor. I would have gone quietly about my business, and no one would have known what happened."
"I don't know if that makes me feel any better. Look, I'll get over it, okay? I'm really glad you're okay, though."
Sam took Daniel's hand. The man was closer to her than her brother, and she had hurt him.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, Daniel. I really didn't want to worry anyone. Besides, I guess I thought if I didn't tell anyone, it wouldn't be real. I guess I was hiding from reality."
"I can relate to that. Tell you what. Why don't we all go have dinner, to celebrate?"
"Sounds great," Sam said with a smile. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather celebrate with than my family."
THE END
Author: Brendini
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Nothing that you don't already know, one way or another.
Summary: Sam gets a scare, and rediscovers what's important.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 is not mine. I'm not trying to take anyone's rights, or money, so please don't sue me. All you'll get are a bunch of Trixie Belden books, and they won't pay your court costs!
Dedication: This story is dedicated to all of the survivors out there, and all those who didn't make it. I miss you, Pam, and, Mom, I'm so glad you made it through! Please, make sure you do your monthly self-exams. I don't care what they say, it does make a difference! That goes for the men out there, too!
"Welcome back, SG-1," General Hammond said to the team that had just emerged from the Stargate. "Debrief at 1500."
"Yes, sir," Jack said. "Carter? Why don't you take the locker room first?"
"Thank you, sir," Sam answered.
"Let's go, guys," Jack said as they headed to the infirmary.
Meanwhile, Sam headed to shower and change. She couldn't wait to get all the dust off! It seemed like all they ever came across were forests, or deserts. Just once, couldn't they find a nice, flat, grassy planed?
She gathered her shampoo and shower gel, along with her towels, and hit the shower. While she washed her hair, she let her mind wander. She had been stunned when she learned that a good friend of hers from the academy had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily, they had found it early, so she would probably be fine.
Bearing that in mind, she decided now might not be a bad time to start doing self-exams. After all, that's what had saved her friend. Of course, she had read several articles on the subject, and they always included instructions. She went back in her memory, and followed the instructions from memory. Nothing in her left breast, good. Other side now-what was that?
Sam was startled to notice a strange feeling in the side of her right breast. She felt it experimentally again. Yes, that felt like a lump.
"Oh, god!" she said to herself. It couldn't be! Women her age didn't get strange masses. Shaking off the panic and denial, Sam quickly finished her shower and dressed. She headed straight for the infirmary. She needed to talk to Janet.
"That was fast, Carter," Jack said.
"Yes, sir. Excuse me, sir, I need to talk to Janet," she said, brushing past him. He watched her quizzically.
What's up with her?" Daniel asked.
"Who knows? She said she had to talk to Janet." Jack had noticed, though, there had been a tinge of panic in her eyes. Carter never panicked, so something must be up.
'Oh, well,' he thought. 'I'm sure it's nothing.'
Finally, Sam found Janet.
"Janet, I need to talk to you."
"Okay," Janet Fraiser answered slowly. "Why don't we go into my office?"
Janet closed her office door behind them. "What's up?"
"I found something."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I think I found a lump, in my breast."
Janet sucked in her breath. "Okay, why don't we get you in the exam room? We'll see what we can find."
After changing into a gown, Sam met Janet in the other room.
"Okay, this may seem weird, but it's not. I need to examine both your breasts."
After Sam nodded, Janet proceeded. She started with her left breast, working her way around the tissue. Encouraged when she found nothing, Janet continued with Sam's right breast. She stopped when she felt something.
"Does that hurt?" she asked, pressing on it.
"No."
"Okay. Is this the one you found?"
"Yeah, but I didn't go any further. I just panicked."
"Okay, let me finish this one, and I'll do the rest of your exam."
Sam nodded.
Twenty minutes later, there were no other lumps, and the rest of the routine tests were done. Janet told Sam to get dressed, and they met backin her office.
"I'm concerned about that lump, Sam. I think we should do a biopsy."
"Do you think it's cancer?"
"It's hard to tell. It could just be a cyst, in which case, there's nothing to be concerned about."
"So, when does all of this happen?"
"I can do the biopsy right now. Then we can send it out for analysis."
Sam nodded. "Let's do it, then. I want this over! How long will it take to get the results?"
"It's probably going to take a day or so. Go ahead and get back into a gown, and I'll get us set up."
Sam got changed quickly, trying not to think about what was happening. Sam joined Janet in the room she had prepared for the procedure. She laid down and took a deep breath. Janet nodded at the nurse, and they got started.
Not much later, Sam was back in Janet's office pacing.
"Sam, why don't you go home?" Janet asked her.
"I have a debriefing at 1500 hours. I can't go home."
"I could explain-"
"NO!"
Janet looked at her, shocked. "Sam, you can't bottle this up. You have to deal with it."
"I'm going to deal with it. I just - I don't' want anyone to know. Not until there's something to worry about."
"Sam, let your friends help you. We're here to lighten your load."
"I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me."
"Do you really think Colonel O'Neill will ever feel sorry for you?"
Sam stopped pacing, and looked at Janet.
"Sam, what would you want him to do, in your place?"
"I would want him to tell me," she admitted.
"And wouldn't he expect the same from you?"
"Probably."
"So tell him, at least. I'm not saying tell the whole world, or the SGC for that matter. Just tell Colonel O'Neill, if not Daniel and Teal'c. The general would even be supportive."
"I'll think about it, okay?"
"I guess that's all I can ask. I'll call you as soon as I get the results. Call me if you need anything," Janet practically begged.
"I will. I'll see you later."
Sam headed to her lab. There were still a couple of hours before the debriefing. She could at least get her report done, if not work on her other work.
She typed her report, trying not to think about anything else.
"Hey, Carter. Whatcha doin'?"
"Just finishing up my report, sir."
"I couldn't find you at lunchtime."
"I was with Janet."
"Is everything okay?"
She looked at him sharply. "Yes, everything is fine, sir. Was there anything you needed?"
Jack stepped back at her words. "I guess not," he said slowly. "See you at the debriefing, Carter." He headed out the door.
"Wait! Sir, I'm sorry!" Carter called out, then began crying.
Jack heard her words, and her sobs, and he turned around. When he saw the tears on her face, he closed the door behind him, and crossed the room quickly. "Sam?"
Her sobs continued, and seemed to worsen. Jack was alarmed. Throwing caution to the wind, he pulled her into his arms. She tensed for a moment, then sagged against him. He let her cry, rubbing her back and making soothing noises. Normally, he was terrible in these situations. His actions just seemed to be happening, though. Finally her sobs subsided.
"Sorry, sir. I just, I don't know - "
"Sam, Janet told me to check in with you."
"What?"
"She just said you might need a friend," he explained hastily. "What's going on?"
She pulled away slightly and looked up at him. She nodded to herself.
"Okay. I don't want this to get out, sir."
"My lips are sealed."
"I found a lump."
Jack was quiet for a moment. He knew those were frightening words for a woman to say. "When?"
"Today, after the mission."
"That's why you were in a hurry."
"Yeah. I'm sorry about that, sir."
"Jack."
"What?"
"Call me Jack. I can't be a very good friend if I'm 'sir'."
"I can think of a few people who would argue with that. Okay, Jack."
"So, what's next?"
"Janet did a biopsy. The results will be back in a day or so, she said."
"So you're gonna need to be distracted."
"I'm already distracted." She looked at her watch. "We're going to be late."
He looked at her sharply. "Okay, but I am ordering you not to shut yourself off."
"Yes, sir."
"How about a movie?"
"I honestly don't think I could concentrate on a movie tonight. But maybe cards?"
"You'd rather lose your money? No problem!"
She laughed. "Thank you."
"Any time you need anything, all you have to do is ask, Sam. Now let's go, before Hammond sends out a search party!" he said with one last squeeze. It had felt so good, holding her in his arms. He just wished it had been for a different reason.
Sam and Jack were both distracted during the meeting. Sam was unusually short with her explanations, and Jack made very few comments. After they had been dismissed, Jack stopped Daniel and Teal'c.
"Hey, guys. How about cards at my place tonight?" he asked.
"Okay, sure," Daniel said, looking at Teal'c.
"That would be enjoyable, O'Neill."
"Great. So, 1830, and I'll order the pizza."
"Okay. I have some things to finish up, then I'll be there. You want to ride with me, Teal'c?" Daniel asked.
"Certainly. I will be anticipating your knock."
"See you guys later," Sam said, heading to her lab. She knew everything would be okay, with her friends around her. She still didn't want to say anything, not until she knew the results.
She shut her lab down, and headed for the outside world. She wanted to stop at the store before she went to Jack's. She figured the least she could do was buy the beer.
When she got to Jack's she was afraid she would be treated differently, somehow. To her surprise, no one acted any differently. By eleven o'clock, she was surprised the evening had passed so quickly.
"Well, I'm gonna call it a night," Daniel said. "You ready, Teal'c?"
"I am. Good night, Major Carter, O'Neill," Teal'c said, nodding.
After they left, Sam started cleaning up.
"You know, you don't have to do that."
"I know," she answered. "But it's a little less time I have to spend by myself."
"Why don't you stay here tonight? I've got a guest room, for cryin' out loud."
Sam looked startled, then slowly nodded her head. "Okay, thank you, Jack."
He grinned at her use of his name.
After they had finished cleaning up after the card game, Sam started to pace in the living room. Jack watched her for a few minutes from his seat on the couch. Finally, he'd had enough.
"Sam, will you please stop that? Come sit down."
Sam stopped in her tracks and looked at him, startled.
"Come on. You're making me nervous," he said with a smile.
"Sorry," she said, sitting next to him.
"Hey, everything's gonna be okay, Sam."
"I'm just so scared, I don't know if I can handle this. Is the waiting ever going to end?"
"Yeah, it will. You just have to get through tonight. WE have to get through tonight," he corrected himself. "You're not in this alone."
"I know. I guess I just keep thinking back to when Dad had cancer. He wasn't going to make it, Jack. Selmak was his last chance."
He pulled her into his embrace. "And you're afraid you won't have that option?"
"Yes! I know that sounds completely selfish of me, but I can't help but think that Jolinar really screwed things up for me."
"Sam, you don't have a selfish bone in your body. Just because you want something to be different, that doesn't make you selfish. Now, come on, why don't we watch a movie? It might get your mind off things."
"Okay, anything's worth a try."
They settled on the couch, neither wanting to break contact. Unconsciously, Jack began rubbing a circle in the small of Sam's back. She started to feel a warmth spreading through her limbs. She looked at him, and his hand froze.
"Sorry."
"Don't be," she replied.
Suddenly, the air was thick.
"Sam, I - "
"Jack, please."
That was all it took. The pleading in her voice, the longing in her eyes, were too much. He traced his finger over her cheek. She leaned into his caress, wanting more.
"I don't want you to regret anything," he said softly.
"I won't."
With that, Jack leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. It was a gentle, sweet kiss. Finally, the kiss deepened, and the air crackled with the electricity between them. It was hot and frantic, all the emotions between them flaring up. Sam couldn't get close enough to him. Eventually, the need for air surpassed the need for each other.
"Wow!"
"Yeah," he agreed. Words seemed to have escaped them both.
She curled up into him, as close as she could.
Jack took a deep breath. "As much as I want this, I don't think we should continue. I don't think either one of us are thinking straight."
"I know," she said, disappointed.
They ended up talking all night, finding out some of the little things they didn't know about each other. Sam was in the middle of a story about her and her brother, when she stopped suddenly.
"What is it, Sam?"
She looked at him. "It's nothing. I just had a maudlin moment."
"Well, stop. I only want to see smiles on your face."
"I know. I've been doing pretty well, too. I just started thinking, and my thoughts kind of took over on me."
"Staged a little mutiny, did they? That's what you get for thinking too much!" he joked.
"Yeah, it does usually get me in trouble, doesn't it?"
"That's right. Stick with me. I'll teach you not to do that!"
She smiled.
"Sam, you're going to be okay. You have your family, and your friends. And you have me. Whatever it takes, I'll be here for you. Even if it means retiring again."
"I'm just so afraid. This is something I can't control. I can't just enter a new protocol, or dial myself out. This is real."
"Yeah, and so am I. I mean it, Sam. You won't be alone, no matter what! Now, get some sleep," he told her. "It won't be much, but at least you won't be punch drunk from exhaustion."
All she could do was nod, and nestle into his shoulder.
Jack watched her sleeping, a smile crossing his face. If he could do nothing else for her, he could watch over her, keeping her safe while she slept. Eventually, he had to wake her. It was time to save the world again.
They showered and dressed, neither having an appetite. As they got ready to leave, he pulled her to him.
"It's going to be okay, Sam. I don't know how, but it will be. You call if you need me for anything, okay?"
"Okay. You may not be able to get any other phone calls, though."
He smiled, then took her lips in a soul-searing kiss. By the time it ended, they were both flushed.
"Are you sure we can't take the day off?" Sam asked.
"No, we can't. Besides, Janet wouldn't know how to get a hold of you."
"There's always my cell phone."
"Come on. The day will go faster if you're at work, doing something."
"Okay. One more, though. Okay?"
This time, when she pulled his mouth to hers, she poured all of the love in her heart into the kiss. Finally, they broke apart, breathless.
"Okay, let's get you to work, before I change my mind," Jack said. She smiled.
They met again in the parking lot of the base. They greeted each other the same as any other morning. If anyone thought it odd that they had arrived at the same time, no one dared mention it. They passed through all of the security measures, being careful to make it look like any ordinary day. Only they knew the turmoil they endured. Finally, Jack left her at her office.
"Don't forget. If you need anything, I'm only a phone call away. I can be here in less than five minutes."
She smiled. "I know. I'll be okay. Don't worry."
With one last squeeze of her hand, he was gone. She entered her lab and started her day. Before she knew it, she was unexpectedly occupied with some new technology one of the teams had brought back.
She was surprised when Jack walked in at noon.
"You ready for lunch?" he asked.
She was equally surprised to find that she was hungry.
"Actually, yes. Are you buying?"
"Absolutely!"
They met Daniel and Teal'c in the mess hall, and they all sat together. Lunch passed by uneventfully, until Janet came looking for Sam.
"There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!" Janet exclaimed.
"Why? Are they back?" Sam asked anxiously.
"Yes! There's no sign at all! Everything is okay!"
Sam seemed to deflate with relief. Daniel looked at Janet, then her, and asked.
"Sam? What's going on?"
"I've been waiting for some test results from a biopsy Janet did for me. I found a lump yesterday."
"And everything's okay?" Daniel asked Janet.
"Absolutely. There's no sign of anything abnormal."
Daniel looked at Jack. He seemed awfully calm.
"You knew about this!"
"Janet sent me to check in with Sam. I just kind of dragged it out of her."
"And you didn't say anything?"
"It wasn't my place, Daniel. Sam made the choice not to tell anyone, except Janet and me. I couldn't go against her wishes."
"Daniel, I didn't want to worry anyone unnecessarily. If things had turned out differently, I would have headed straight for you," Sam assured him.
"Don't get me wrong, Sam. I'm very glad the results were negative. I guess I thought we could talk about anything."
"Daniel, I wasn't going to tell anyone, except Janet, and that's only because she's my doctor. I would have gone quietly about my business, and no one would have known what happened."
"I don't know if that makes me feel any better. Look, I'll get over it, okay? I'm really glad you're okay, though."
Sam took Daniel's hand. The man was closer to her than her brother, and she had hurt him.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, Daniel. I really didn't want to worry anyone. Besides, I guess I thought if I didn't tell anyone, it wouldn't be real. I guess I was hiding from reality."
"I can relate to that. Tell you what. Why don't we all go have dinner, to celebrate?"
"Sounds great," Sam said with a smile. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather celebrate with than my family."
THE END