Disclaimer: Do these really work? After all, I am stealing someone else's intelectual property.
Summary: Kara encounters a threat from the past.
Sins Of The Fodder
1
Kara Thrace stood on Galactica's flight deck, one earpiece of a headset pressed to her right ear. There was a strange hollow echo as Apollo's voice came over the headphones and the deck's PA system at the same time.
"Roger that, Galatica. I've got the ball."
"Copy that. Take it easy on the approach," Starbuck coached. "The stick is kind of touchy."
"You think I can't land your new toy?" Apollo asked. Kara could hear the teasing challenge in his voice. She could picture him now, sitting in the cockpit, jaunty grin, waiting for her retort. She wasn't going to disappoint him.
"You hurt my baby and I'll make sure you never have any of your own." She could practically feel the heat radiating from Lee's blush as her comment went over an open comm channel. "Just take it easy, okay?"
"You may have the most flight time in this ship, but that doesn't mean you're the only one qualified to fly it." Yet as he spoke, the stealth ship began to wobble as Apollo made his final approach. Even though the landing bay was sectioned off, deck hands to took an involuntary step back as the ship came in unsteady. Fortunately the magnetic restrictors of the trap caught the ship before it could do any real damage.
Lee was struggling with his helmet as Kara climbed the ladder, leaning into the ship to assist him. "I told you the cockpit is too far back," Lee called to Tyrol once his head gear was removed.
"Starbuck doesn't seem to have a problem with the placement."
"Well, we can't all be Starbuck, can we?" he said, giving her a grin.
"And a good thing," Kara said, preceding Lee down the stairs. "Brig's pretty cramped as it is. Although, you would make a nice addition," she injected, casting him an appreciative glance over her shoulder.
"Why don't you just frak him and get it over with," one of the deck hands muttered good-naturedly as they passed by. Kara was as used to being ribbed when she was giving Lee grief.
"I'm sure we would if there was one ounce of privacy on this frakking ship," Kara called to no one in particular. "Wouldn't we, Captain Adama?" She turned to smile sweetly at him, linking her arm with his. She wouldn't really, but the nuggets needed something to gossip about.
Actually, she couldn't say the thought hadn't crossed her mind--on more than one occasion--but she wouldn't act on it. And neither would Lee. And that was the hell of it. Neither wanted to be the first to change the nature of their relationship, so they danced around each other in a perpetual limbo of double entendre and sexual innuendo. If her love life was half as exciting as the rumors that reached her, she wouldn't need the adrenaline rush from flying. As it was, flying was her first--and presently--only love. But a girl could contemplate the possibilities. . . .
Lee didn't disengage his arm as they headed off towards the locker room. "It was a nice ride, but I think I'll stick to Vipers. I can see why you're so hooked on that ship, though."
"Oh? Why's that?"
"The speed. You're such a speed junkie, Starbuck."
"And the problem would be?"
"I didn't say there was a problem. I can just see that this is the type of ship that would appeal to you " Lee turned to her and tapped her forehead as if to emphasize his point.
"I'm guessing that mind of yours is working overtime right now trying to find a reason you should take the Blackbird out on a mission."
Kara smiled sheepishly at him, stuffing her hands in her pockets and shrugging her shoulders. Staring into his eyes, she said, "I guess you know me too well." Lee stared back, and she found she couldn't look away. Always the looks that lingered a little longer than necessary, and the connection she felt with him that was almost visceral. As much as she'd loved Zak, they'd never had a connection like that. Maybe it was the flying thing, she didn't know, but Kara always seemed aware if he was in a room, whether she'd seen him enter it or not. She couldn't describe it, there was just this pervasive feeling whenever he was around.
"Your father hasn't cleared it for missions yet," she needlessly reminded him.
"Since when has that stopped you?"
Kara turned with him as he continued his journey to the locker room. "You make a good point." Before they could enter the changing area, Kara heard the call for she and Lee to report to CIC.
"What do you suppose that's all about?" she asked, suddenly intrigued. "You didn't see anything while you were out there, did you?"
"No. Nothing."
Practically jogging, they made it to the ship's command center before the commander expected them. Recovering from his surprise, William Adama directed them to a monitor displaying dradis information. There was the tiniest of blips on the screen, almost non-existent, but Kara caught it.
"Is this what you called us about?" She asked, looking over at Lee to see if he'd seen the anomaly as well.
Lee stared at his father. "I didn't see anything when I was out there, if that's what you're wondering."
"Well, partially," William admitted. I didn't think you probably had. It's further out than your flight took you."
Lee and Kara exchanged glances. "Then why call us up here?" he asked.
"I want Starbuck to go take a look. Use our new stealth ship."
Kara couldn't believe what she was hearing. He was actually giving her a mission with the Blackbird? "I'll get right on it, sir!"
"Hang on!" Lee said, placing a restraining hand on her arm. "How far away is this 'blip'? Shouldn't we be sending some back-up?"
"It's a recon mission," Kara said, sorely tempted to add "you idiot," but she held her tongue.
"How long has it been since you had some rack time, or something to eat for that matter?"
Before she could answer, the commander was backing Lee up. "Apollo's right, Starbuck. Get something to eat, and try to get some rest. This isn't likely to be a quick mission. Whatever that is out there, it hasn't moved in some time. Another hour or two isn't going to make any difference."
Were they frakking kidding her? How on Kobol did they expect her to sleep with the opportunity of a lifetime just waiting for her down in the hanger bay? "Fine," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'll eat something."
Willliam, tried to hide a knowing grin. He wasn't going to argue with her and Kara knew it. "Lee will escort you to the mess hall, won't you, Captain?"
Lee's grin matched his father's. "I'd be delighted, Commander."
2
Lee stood at the top of the stairs wheeled up to the Blackbird. It didn't fit tight to the hull as it did to the Vipers, but then the ship wasn't supposed to be a clone of the standard Colonial model. Chief Tyrol's design had been unique in many ways, and Lee had to grudgingly admit he'd done an outstanding job. He'd had a little trouble controlling the ship, but Kara seemed to have an instinct for the experimental flyer, as she did with most ships.
"You gonna hand me my helmet or what, Apollo?" Lee was balanced precariously on the top stair, trying to get close enough to secure her head gear.
"The next thing the Chief needs to build is a ladder that actually fits this thing," he said, risking placing his weight on both the stair and the wing. Lee felt himself slipping as Kara's strong hands grabbed him, holding on until he got his feet back under him. He gave her a grateful look as he recovered.
"Hey," he said, locking her helmet into place. "Don't come back dead." He felt his throat constrict as he issued their trademark parting instructions.
Lately it was getting more difficult to send her out on questionable missions. It wasn't that he didn't think she could take care of herself--she could--but it was hard to let her go out on her own. He'd feel a lot better if she had some back up, even if it wasn't him. But his father had a point: if she showed up with a Viper it would trigger immediate suspicion. As it was, she might go undetected. Besides, there was no evidence of raiders so this should be a textbook recon.
Lee knocked her lightly on the helmet to get her attention. "Bring home some pretty pictures."
Kara smiled and gave him a thumbs up. "Roger, that." She held his gaze for a few moments, looking as if she were going to say something else, but then changed her mind as the canopy locked into place.
Moving back to a safer distance, Lee watched as the ship was towed into the launch tube. He'd hoped Tyrol and his crew had had enough time to fully check the ship over before it was being sent out again. The Chief seemed as agitated as Lee was as he watched every procedure of the launch.
Walking up to him, Lee asked, "everything okay, Chief? You seem a little nervous."
It took a moment for Lee's words to penetrate Tyrol's concentration. "Huh? Oh, no. Everything looks good. Just want to make sure, you know."
Lee smiled, clapping the man on the shoulder. "Yeah, I know. Thank you for that."
They were interrupted by the sound of Starbuck's countdown and the subsequent thunder of her launch. Now the hard part began.
The CAG's office was small, like most personal spaces on Galactica, but today Lee's office was really squeezing in on him. He'd tried to concentrate on flight schedules, fuel consumption reports, and the usual refereeing he had to do with over-worked pilots, but it wasn't working. It had been ten hours and there was still no sign or word from Kara. He heard her voice in his head from the test voyage of the Blackbird. "Of course you lost me, it's a damn stealth ship." He tried not to worry, but there was just no turning it off. He realized he wasn't alone in his concern, but that didn't help. His father was probably pacing CIC even as he was pacing his tiny office, but neither was willing to admit something might have happened to her.
But how long did they wait? A million things could have gone wrong, not the least of which was fatigue and pilot error. Kara had been working on little sleep before she left, and it was now hours later. It took a lot of strength to keep the stealth ship steady even at the best of times. And although he would never tell Kara to her face she couldn't handle it, every pilot had their limits. Even Starbuck.
Now it was eleven hours she'd been gone and Lee couldn't take it. They either had to risk contacting her or sending out a ship to find her. He hated the thought of asking Colonel Tigh to authorize breaking wireless silence or sending a search party, but unfortunately he was Lee's superior officer. If he didn't want to end up in the brig, he needed to be by-the-book.
Clenching his fists, closing his eyes, Lee took a deep breath and asked Dee to connect him to Tigh.
"Colonel Tigh," came over the receiver.
"Captain Adama, Colonel. I'm asking permission to break wireless silence with the Blackbird." Lee expected Tigh to scream some obscenity at him and slam down the handset, but was surprised when the XO actually sounded tired with a trace of worry in his voice.
"I've thought about it, Captain. We'll give her until she's been gone twelve hours. Tigh out." The line went dead before Lee had the chance to object. Looking at the chronometer, he realized he'd have to wait forty-five minutes before he could begin his search.
And it would be his search. He wasn't about to send someone else out to look for her while he paced the deck. Technically, he should send someone who didn't have so much emotionally riding on the search, but that was precisely the reason he was going.
Kara tied him up in knots. He couldn't openly tell her what she meant to him, and lately, he couldn't even seem to admit it to himself. One thing was certain, even though they professed to being friends, they weren't. Friends didn't tear each other apart like they did, both emotionally and lately, even physically. They were lovers without benefit of a physical relationship, and it was driving them both to lash out at each other. It seemed to be the only means of expressing the highly-charged emotions that practically radiated from them when they were anywhere near the other.
Lee shook his head, as if that would clear it. All he knew was he was going on the rescue mission even if Tigh threw the book at him.
Making his way to the locker room to suit up, Lee heard the broadcast for attention on the hanger deck.
"Blackbird spotted five klicks from port bay doors! All hands prepare for emergency landing!"
Lee made it to the deck, just as the ship began it's approach. Watching the screen transmitting the stealth ship's image, he noticed the Blackbird was coming in hot. Way too hot. And even more erratic than his own landing. Lee felt his heart jumping in his chest. Something was wrong and it wasn't just Kara being tired. There were scorch marks on the wings, but that was all the damage he could see at that speed and angle. He heard the deck crew shouting orders, preparing for a crash landing, but it was all moving too fast. Before he could process what was happening, the ship slammed onto the landing pad and slid several feet, leaving a trail of sparks before coming to an abrupt halt against the back wall.
Technicians scrambled to release Starbuck from the cockpit as a call for medics was broadcast ship wide. On the periphery of his senses, Lee heard his father's voice demanding a SitRep, but all he could think about was getting to Kara.
Lee took the stairs two at a time, unconcerned about the precariousness of the ladder. There was a slight crack in the polycarbonate canopy housing Starbuck, but not enough to depressurize the cockpit. The canopy released with a hiss, revealing a barely conscious pilot.
"Kara? Can you hear me?" Lee tried to remove her helmet, but it was jammed. The face shield was cracked, making it difficult to see where the blood flowing down around her ears was coming from. "Starbuck!" he called again, hoping her call sign would kick in some autonomic response.
Kara's eyelids fluttered. "Lee?"
"Yeah, it's me," he said, insanely relieved to hear her call his name.
"Cylons. . . ."
"Yeah, we got that part," Lee grinned, still struggling with the buckles on her helmet.
"You don't understand. . . . ."
"Kara, don't try to talk. We've got to get you out of this ship." She nodded weakly, her eyes rolling back.
"Kara! Stay with me! You've got to help me get you out of here!"
Kara's eyes opened, but didn't really focus. "Lee?"
"It's me, Kara. I've got you."
"You always do," she nearly smiled.
Lee didn't have time to be embarrassed by how the deck crew might perceive her words. Instead he concentrated on getting her out of the cockpit. Her helmet was still on, but he couldn't take the time to try to get it off. There was the very real possibility that the damaged ship could explode, and he had to get both of them away from it.
"I'm going to help you get out of here, but you have to help me. When I pull, you're going to have to push, okay?" Lee got no response but grasped her left arm, hoping she would automatically push with her legs. Instead he was rewarded with a scream of pain, as Kara reflexively moved away from him. Obviously she'd injured her arm, but he didn't have time to indulge her.
"On your feet, Thrace! That's an order!" The command in his voice seemed to engender a response, as Kara's eyes briefly opened once more. :"Let's go, soldier! On three. One. Two. Three." Lee slid his hands under her armpits, as Kara managed to push with her legs. She yelled in pain once more and Lee wasn't sure if it her arm or another injury that caused the outcry.
Cally and the Chief were behind him on the ladder, waiting to assist in getting Starbuck out of the ship. As the three of them got her to the ground, the medical staff arrived to take her to sickbay. The combined weight of Kara's flight suit and helmet, coupled with a muscular woman was almost more than the three of them could handle, but they managed to get her on the gurney.
Kara's voice sounded hollow as she tried to speak through her helmet. ". . .have to tell you. . . ."
"Relax, Kara. Everything's going to be fine," Lee reassured her, placing his hand on what he perceived to be her good shoulder. "We're going to get you fixed up in no time."
". . .no time.. . . ." Kara repeated, but it wasn't until after the medics had wheeled her away that Lee wondered if maybe she was trying to do more than just repeat his words.
3
William Adama stood in the doorway of Kara's recovery room. He'd been here far too many times in recent weeks. Not only as a patient but as a concerned, what? Friend? Father figure? He wasn't quite sure how he'd class his relationship with her, just as he couldn't quite class the relationship his son had with her. He couldn't deny he thought of Kara as family. Her status as almost daughter-in-law saw to that. He'd offered her a spot on Galactica as a refuge from painful memories, but it became more. He valued her irreverent comments and companionship for themselves, and as his own refuge in the wake of one son's death and another's estrangement. They were a dysfunctional lot, but Kara was the glue that held them in a fragile balance.
Lee was seated on the right side of Kara's bed, holding on to her hand as if for dear life. Actually, William thought, it could be for dear life. He wasn't blind. He'd seen the looks they'd exchanged, and it had caused him some concern both as a father and as a commander. But seeing the worry on his son's face, he couldn't order him from her bedside. It probably would only make matters worse as Lee would refuse to go, forcing William to institute disciplinary action.
Adama cleared his throat. "Lee."
His son looked up. The dark circles and bloodshot eyes were a testament that Lee hadn't slept since Kara had been brought into sickbay. William pulled up a chair and sat next to him.
"How's she doing?"
"About as well as to be expected, I guess. Did you see the medical report?"
"No, I thought maybe you could fill me in," William said.
"She has a concussion from the impact of the crash. That must be when she wrecked up her knee again, too. I don't know how she landed that damn bird," Lee said, awe tingeing his voice. "From the diagnostics, it seems her arm was broken before the crash landing. It's hard to handle that stick with two good arms. I don't know how she did it."
"That's Starbuck."
Adama saw Lee squeeze Kara's hand as he turned his attention to her once more. "Yeah, that's Starbuck." They sat in silence for several minutes before William broached the reason for his appearance in sickbay.
"Son, I know you're concerned about Kara, we all are, but. . . ."
Lee's eyes turned dark with determination. "Don't ask me to leave."
"You have duties to perform, and you need to get some rest."
"Are you speaking as my father or my commander?"
"Both," William sighed. "Look, I know how you feel . . ."
Lee interrupted him again. "I don't think you do. I shouldn't have sent her out alone. We shouldn't have sent her out alone."
"We've been over this. It was a stealth mission. She understood the risks and accepted them."
Lee returned his gaze to the woman lying on the bed. Apparently he had nothing he could argue with. William knew he was trying to find something, though. All his life Lee had been "the fixer." If Zak got into trouble, it was Lee picking up the pieces, trying to smooth things over. He'd always stood ready to take the blame, to take responsibility for something he had no control over. It wasn't just Kara, it was all the people under his command, and he didn't see that he tried to take on too much. He couldn't be everyone's savior, but obviously he was going to give it a damn good try.
William didn't know how to open his son's eyes to what he so clearly saw. It was hard to sit back and watch Lee, knowing that his relationship with Kara could go no where. But any interference would push his son further away, and they had only just begun to rebuild the fragile trust between them.
"Lee. . . ." Kara croaked, barely opening her eyes.
"I'm here, Kara," he said, using his free hand to gently smooth her dirty hair.
William looked away, suddenly uncomfortable bearing witness to his son's tender treatment of his so-called friend. Part of him was angry his oldest son had romantic feelings for his younger son's former fiancé. Part of him empathized with Lee's predicament of having unprofessional thoughts about a subordinate. It was nearly the same struggle William had faced since Lee had come to Galactica and was under his command.
As much as he hated to admit it, Lee was a better fit for Kara than Zak had been. Zak was fun, wild and lived life on the edge, and while she seemed drawn to him for those reasons, it was really Lee's stability she needed. Adama was shaken from his musing by Kara's sudden restlessness.
"What happened?" Kara asked, starting to fight the monitors and IV lines attached to her.
"Relax, Starbuck, you're in sickbay," Lee informed her.
"'Relax' and 'sickbay' shouldn't be in the same sentence," she managed to joke.
"And I'm going to have to make Doc Cottle start charging you rent if you continue to spend this much time here," William said, alerting Kara to his presence.
"Wow. I must be bad if you're here, sir." She tried to smile, but it turned into a grimace of pain as she shifted on the bed.
"I've seen you look better," Adama admitted. "You feel up to making a report?"
William was surprised to see Kara hesitate. She looked over at Lee, as if she was trying to decide what to say. Obviously she thought what she had to report was going to affect him somehow. He was puzzled, but chose to ask Lee to give them a moment alone. Lee started to argue, but left when William assured him he could see her when they were finished.
Once alone, William asked, "are you sure you're up to this?"
"I have to tell you. This can't wait."
"What did you see? Did you get pictures?"
Kara took a deep breath, suppressing a shudder. "It's a Farm, sir. Another gods-damned frakking Farm."
4
Closing her eyes, Kara tried to will away the images she'd recently seen, as well as those from Caprica. It wasn't working. Granted this Basestar looked similar to all the others from the outside, but there had been something about it that made her risk landing the stealth ship and investigating further. She remembered the unholy chill she'd felt as she'd stepped out of the Blackbird, weapons drawn.
The layout had been the similar, and yet different at the same time. This base was new, but the machines were hauntingly familiar. It had given her a strange sense of déjà vu, and all she wanted to do was run away as far and as fast as she could.
Kara had known she had to move quickly if she wanted to avoid detection. She had to have caused a blip on some Cylon's dradis, and just their normal patrols would soon reveal the ship's presence or her own.
After taking a swift bed count, Kara had run back to her ship, and slipped off the Basestar as silently as she'd entered it. She was sure once she was in space, she was home free, but her cockiness only served to make her careless. No Raiders had been dispatched, but the base's weapons had fired on her, proving she wasn't as invisible as she'd thought.
Kara had successfully evaded most of their shots, but one blast caught her broadside, taking a good sized chunk out of her left wing and leaving scorch marks along the hull. The impact had slammed her around the cockpit, and when she righted herself, she knew her arm had been broken. Angry and in pain, she'd let loose a string of profanity that carried her halfway back to Galactica.
William brought her back to the present. "A Farm?"
Kara felt guilty over the confusion on his face. If she'd filed a full report when she'd returned from Caprica, she wouldn't have to explain so much now. Or be setting herself up for some brig time. He was going to be angry and disappointed in her, and that was worse than any amount of time in hack.
"I, uh, believe I may have left one or two things out of my report when I came back from Caprica, sir." Kara looked everywhere except at him, but she could feel the anger radiating off him. Adama didn't like to be caught off guard, and her withholding vital information put him at a disadvantage.
"It didn't seem important at the time," she tried to defend herself, but knew there was no way her commander was going to buy it. "I was fairly certain the resistance had destroyed the facility."
"That doesn't explain why this is the first I've heard of it," William said in his soft voice. The one that was deceptively calm and yet demanded complete honesty.
Kara wasn't sure where to start. She'd reported most of what happened while she'd been back home. She just left out the part about having been ambushed, drugged, operated on and escaping a Cylon baby factory.
"We were waiting to infiltrate a Cylon stronghold when I was shot. I don't remember much except waking up in some kind of hospital."
"That much was in the report," Adama said. "I gather I heard about it because you had to explain your recovery somehow."
Kara felt her face flush. She didn't know how he did that; so clearly express his displeasure without coming right out and saying it. "I'm sorry, sir. It. . .it was a pretty traumatic time and I didn't want to relive it by adding it to my report. I really thought there was no need as the Resistance assured me they would take care of the facility."
"I'm waiting for you to rectify that mistake, Lieutenant."
Kara didn't want to think about her time in the Farm now any more than she had weeks ago. Just tell him, she told herself. Picking out a spot on the wall to focus her attention, Kara told him of waking up in what she assumed was a field hospital, only to discover it was a front for Cylon reproduction experiments.
William sat quietly, waiting for her to finish. When she no longer could think of anything he might consider relevant, Kara chanced a glance at him. His head was down, and he was nodding slightly.
"I'm sorry, Kara," he said, and she wasn't sure if he was sorry for her experience, or what punishment he was duty bound to dole out.
"Yeah, well, Cylon's happen," she said, trying to keep the mood from turning morbid.
"I take it you haven't told anyone else about this either."
Kara blinked back tears. "If by anyone, you mean Lee, no, I haven't. Helo knows because he was there. But he doesn't know all of it."
Adama nodded again. "Lee has to be told, you know. It's going to come out.."
"I know."
"I think you should be the one to tell him. He's going to be angry you didn't let him know before this," William needlessly warned.
Kara sighed and closed her eyes. "Yeah, I know."
"So what happened today?" he asked, forestalling the inevitable for just a little while longer. Kara told him everything, including landing on the Basestar. She'd learned her lesson, at least temporarily, about keeping information from him.
"It didn't look operational, sir, but it won't be long before it's on-line. Once it is, no one in the fleet will be safe. Even the men. They have uses for them as well as sperm donors."
"We're not exactly safe now," William chuckled mirthlessly.
"No, but I think what the Cylons have planned for us would be worse than death."
Adama sat for a moment, contemplating what she'd just told him. "You realize I'm going to have to put you on report for not disclosing everything you experienced on Caprica."
"Yes, sir."
"I'm not sticking you in the brig," he said. "It doesn't seem to do any good anyway." Kara caught him trying to fight a smile and felt herself start to grin as well. "But I am putting you on probation. Any more infractions, even if you sneeze the wrong way, you'll be facing disciplinary action. Is that clear?" Adama's voice was now hard, and there wasn't a trace of humor in it.
"Yes, sir."
"Very well. I think I better let Lee in here before he comes charging in with the Marines. Tell him, Kara. Everything. You won't be doing him any favors by leaving something out."
She wasn't sure she was ready to have this conversation with Lee, but the commander had left her with no choice.
5
Lee had given up passively waiting and was now pacing the corridor outside sickbay with determined strides. What on Kobol could be taking so long? Even if Kara had given his father a minute-by-minute report it shouldn't be taking this long. Now he was really wondering what had gone on out there. The Blackbird with a bite out of it's wing was mystery enough. Obviously she'd witnessed something worth talking about.
Just as he was about to stick his head into the room, his father came out. "Everything okay?" Lee asked.
"Yes and no," his father replied cryptically. "Physically I think she'll be all right."
"But?"
"She has some issues to deal with." Lee looked over at Kara. Seeing her closed eyes he wondered if she might not have gone back to sleep. "Don't be too hard on her," William said, patting him on the shoulder. Before Lee could ask him what he meant, his father was retreating down the hallway.
Quietly stepping up to Kara's bed, Lee was surprised to see her eyes open. She looked as if she'd been crying and it tore his heart out.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting at her side, once more grasping her hand.
"Gods, Lee. I can't do this. Not when you're looking at me like that." Do what? And how was he looking at her?
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I know you don't," she said. She sighed and tried to roll over so she wasn't looking at him, but her injured arm prevented her from doing more than shifting on the bed.
"Lee, you're not going to like this, but promise me you'll hear me out."
He was starting to get worried. Had she been hurt more than Doc Cottle had told him? He promised to listen.
Kara still took a moment before she began her tale. "Remember when I came back from Caprica and you asked me about the scars on my stomach?"
"Yeah, you said one was from a gunshot wound. You wouldn't tell me what the other one was from."
"I told you I'd been treated at a hospital. But that isn't all that happened there. Yes, they patched me up, but they also opened me up."
"Operated on you? But why?"
Kara's lips twitched in a ghost of a smile. "You told me you'd listen."
Lee caught himself grinning as well, but it faded as quickly as it had bloomed.
"I didn't know at first. They had me pretty heavily drugged. Once I realized that, I pinched the IV line so my head would clear. I overheard my 'doctor' talking to someone outside of my room. I knew I recognized the voice, but couldn't quite place it until I saw her in an office. It was the same woman I had killed in the Museum at Delphi. I knew then the place was being run by Cylons. The man taking care of me confirmed it when he called me 'Starbuck.' I'd never told him my call sign."
Kara paused in her narrative, and Lee desperately wanted to ask questions. After a few moments, she picked up where she'd left off.
"I'd asked Simon, the Cylon who was treating me, what the second scar was from. He'd said they'd had to operate because I'd started bleeding internally again. He'd said they hadn't realized one of my ovaries had been damaged, but he kept going on about how it wouldn't affect my ability to have children. In fact, he kept stressing that my real value was in becoming a mother. He was really pissing me off because he wouldn't let the subject drop. Then he brought up my childhood, saying children of abusive parents often fear having children of their own. I'm sure that does happen, but it wasn't the reason I was objecting to becoming a mother. I'm a Viper pilot. A kid would put an end to that, temporarily at the very least."
Kara was sounding more and more upset, as if by telling the story she was still trying to puzzle out what had happened to her. Lee listened, equally confused.
"The next day I worked on getting out of bed. It hurt like hell, but I had to know what was going on. I couldn't understand why the hospital was so quiet. Where were the moans of people in pain? How come there weren't any other patients in my room? Surely they needed to put more than one person in a room. I got down a hallway and looked into one of the rooms. What I saw turned my blood to ice. Su-Shaun, one of our missing resistance fighters was hooked up to some kind of machine. And the tube was attached to her abdomen, right where my new incision was."
Tears started to flow, and Lee tried to comfort her, but she pushed him away. "They're trying to make babies, Lee. Trying to merge themselves with us. They were going to try to make me one of their Cylon baby factories."
Kara wiped angrily at her tears and took a hiccupping breath. Thinking she was through, Lee tried to understand what she'd just told him.
"But you got away. They weren't able to carry out their plans."
"Not with me," she said, "but there were other women there. All just fodder for their twisted experiments. I had to leave Su-Shaun. They had her so integrated with their machines, she couldn't live off of them. None of them could. One more day and I would have been one of them."
Lee felt his fury beginning to rise. How dare they do this to their women? How dare they try to do it to Kara? He tried to calm himself for her sake, but he couldn't seem to wrap his head around the implications.
"That's not all," she said, shifting her eyes to look at him. "The blip I went to investigate? It's a new Basestar. Not just any Basestar." She paused to take a breath. "They're building another Farm."
For a time, Lee was speechless. Trying to understand all she'd told him. How did she know it was one of these farms? Unless. . . . "Kara, you didn't land on that thing, did you?" Her silence was all the confirmation he needed.
Leaping to his feet, Lee ran a hand through his hair as he paced around her bed. "Of all the frakking, suicidal, stupid things you could do. . . ." His voice trailed off, so furious with her he couldn't even think of all the epithets he wanted to hurl at her. He saw her cringing on the bed, as if she knew this tirade had been forthcoming. Of course she knew it was coming. It's the same reaction she would have had if he were in her position. So if she knew it was stupid, why had she gone ahead and done it?
The same reason you would have done it, he told himself. He wouldn't have gone all that way to return with less than a full report either.
Starbuck was watching him, waiting to see what his final emotion was going to be. He couldn't decide himself, but anger seemed to be at the top of the list. He was angry she'd kept things from him, angry she'd gotten hurt, and angry at what the frakking Toasters had done to her.
"Lee? Talk to me?"
Lee kept his back to her, chuckling without humor. "Oh, that's rich. You wanting to talk? How about all the time you've had since you've been back from Caprica? Couldn't squeeze it into your busy schedule? I think there was a time or two when we were in the brig you could have brought it up."
"I. . .I just couldn't talk about it then. All I wanted to do was forget about my time planet side."
"Sure, sure. I can see that." Lee knew his tone was condescending but he couldn't help himself. He was in pain and he wanted her to be there as well. "And of course there's never been a time since then you could have brought the subject up."
"Actually, no," she said. If she hadn't been in a cast, Lee was sure she would be crossing her arms defensively across her chest. "What did you expect? That I'd sit down across from you in the mess hall, ask you how your CAP went and then add, 'oh, by the way, did you hear the one about how the Cylons who tried to rape me?"
Lee sighed. "No, of course not." He turned around to look at her. "But come on, Kara. We're supposed to be friends. You couldn't tell me about this?" His voice was plaintive and he knew he'd gotten to her.
"Gods, Lee, of course we're friends, but that just made it harder to tell you."
"Huh?"
It took a moment, but Kara softly added, "I was scared. Scared you'd have this reaction. And. . . . ."
"And?"
She looked away, unable to hold his gaze as she confessed, "and afraid you wouldn't see me the same way."
Lee was by her side in two strides, putting his arms around her as best he could with casts and tubes and wires. "Lords, Kara. What am I going to do with you? Of course it doesn't change how I feel about you! It's not like you actually had a choice in the matter! Yeah, I'm mad you didn't tell me, and I can't say I still wouldn't be angry over what they did to you, but I can't stay mad at you. I've tried."
"You've tried?"
"Well, not with much success, obviously, because you're still here," he smiled. "No thanks to your recent behavior." Kara gave him a weak smile back, but it only served to make his heart ache more. She really thought he'd stop caring about her because of what the Cylons did to her? Gods, he'd forgiven her for far more than that.
Lee brushed the hair back off her face, and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead, but Kara had chosen that exact moment to move her head so instead of a chaste kiss, Lee found his lips on hers. He was shocked at first, as unsure of what to do as he had been with his first adolescent kiss. It wasn't like this was the first time he'd kissed her. There had been any number of platonic and celebratory kisses between them. But this was different. Usually if the alcohol had flowed too freely and things were getting out of hand, one or the other would pull back, pretending as if it hadn't meant a thing.
They had fooled themselves for a long time and they were extremely good at it, Lee decided in the milliseconds it took for him to realize his lips were still on hers. He couldn't say who moved first, or if it was mutual, but suddenly he was kissing her with a purpose, aware Kara had opened her mouth beneath his. Somewhere in the back of his head a voice told him this wasn't the time or the place. They were in the middle of the frakking sickbay for Gods' sake! It didn't seem to matter. All the fear, and anger and frustration he'd felt with her lately was poured into that kiss, and for once, he wasn't going to be the one to stop it.
Apparently Kara didn't plan on bringing things to a halt either. He was sure if she had a free hand it would be wound in his hair, holding his head to hers. As it was, he needed no extra incentive to stay right where he was.
His tongue was stroking hers, sucking in some much needed air when he heard someone cough behind him. Springing apart, Lee was relieved to see Helo, and not Doc Cottle or his father.
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Helo was grinning, and Lee felt his face suffuse with color. Glancing at Kara, he expected her to be equally embarrassed, but she just looked satisfied and well-kissed. Gods, it made her look hot.
"Captain Adama was just expressing his gratitude that I had a successful mission," she said. "Well, outside of a few bumps and bruises that is."
"This is what you call bumps and bruises?" Helo asked, eyebrows raised. "Oh, and if it's all the same with you, sir? A simple handshake after a mission would suffice for me." All three of them burst out laughing, relieving the tension in the room.
Lee got the impression Helo wanted to talk to Kara alone, and he realized she probably needed to talk to him as well. Much as he wished she'd open up more about how the whole Farm experience had affected her, he knew it would take time. Maybe Helo could help her now.
"I better get back to that mountain of paperwork my father was harping about," Lee said, giving her hand a squeeze. "I'll be back later."
Kara smiled and nodded her head. "Thanks, Lee."
"For what?" he wondered. All he'd done was rail at her stupidity at taking risks. Oh, and that little kiss thing.
"For listening," she said.
Apparently she'd forgotten the little kiss thing already.
6
Kara looked at Karl, waiting for some snide remark to come out of his mouth regarding the compromising position he'd found her and Lee in, but he just stared at her.
"Don't you have some comment?"
"What, about inappropriate behavior or something? I'm not really one to point fingers since I'm in love with a Cylon."
Kara hated when he did that. Talked about the Toaster in the brig like she was real. Like she could feel anything even close to Human emotions. Over the recent weeks she and Helo had come to an uneasy truce. She didn't call "Sharon" names in his presence and he didn't ram his relationship with a Cylon down her throat.
"So, what's up?" she asked conversationally.
"Kara, you don't have to put a front on with me. I heard what you found out there."
"Already? Lords, I knew the rumor mill moved fast. . . ."
"I'm sure by the time I'm back in quarters word of your 'discussion' with Apollo will be all over the ship."
"Helo, promise me you won't mention that," Kara said, suddenly worried he wasn't exaggerating.
"What's with the face? I was just kidding."
Kara's hands twisted in the light blanket covering her. "I know, but there's already enough speculation about our relationship. We're friends, Helo. That's all. Just like you and I are friends."
Helo didn't look convinced. "You and I don't kiss like that."
"And neither do Lee and I. Well, not usually anyway," she tried to hide a grin. She couldn't help thinking kissing him had been a surprise, but not one she objected to, obviously. "You know there's a lot of history between us."
"Yeah, and I know most of it. At least I think I do?"
He did. He didn't know about her culpability in Zak's death, but he knew she'd known the Adama family longer than anyone else on the Battlestar.
"You know most of it," she confirmed. "But you have to realize it would undermine Apollo's authority if there were rumors of the CAG and Lead Pilot being more than friends."
"I've got news for you, Starbuck. They're already out there. Half the crew has bets on when you and Apollo will actually get together. And now it looks like I have the inside track," he teased.
Kara didn't find it amusing. She knew Helo was probably right, but that didn't mean she had to like it. The image she projected to the world was that she didn't give a flying frak what people thought of her, but she did. But more than that, she cared how it would reflect on Lee and the commander. Her behavior often tested her relationships with both men.
She didn't set out to buck the system, it just seemed to happen that way. She was as amazed as anyone that she'd made lieutenant. She maybe frakked things up with her impetuousness, but her skill as a pilot carried her through. Even her legendary insubordination could be ignored when they needed her talents. It wasn't an excuse for her attitude, but she definitely played her advantage.
"Rumors aside, Starbuck, how are you doing? I'm sure you told Apollo you were doing fine, but this is me you're talking to. You don't have to be tough."
"I've got a killer headache and the arm and knee are frackked, but I'll be okay. The worst part is being grounded again. Just when I got the real hang of the Blackbird, too."
"You really like that thing, don't you?"
Leaning back, Kara stared wistfully at the ceiling, trying to explain what it was like. "There's just such total freedom when I fly it. It's like I really am alone in the universe because I barley show up on dradis. I almost have to want to be seen. That carbon composite idea you came up with was frakking brilliant."
Helo smiled at her compliments. "I wish I could say it was totally inspired, but I got the idea from Sharon."
Kara felt her stomach tighten at the mere mention of her name. "So this is some Cylon tech you stole? I kind of like the irony."
"No, I don't think it has anything to do with the Cylons, other than she's one of them. But at the time she told me, it was the other Boomer and neither of us knew she was a Cylon."
"I'm not following you."
"This was some time back, even before the attack on the Colonies. We were on some routine patrol, and to kill time we started talking about what we'd change on Raptors if we could. There were the usual comments about how the controls were laid out, the chairs, you know."
"Yeah, I do." One of the biggest gripes pilots had was that the engineers should have to sit in a ship for over eight hours before they pushed through new designs.
"She was complaining about how heavy and awkward Raptors felt on take off and landing, and said something like a carbon composite would be better. Especially for non-combat situations. We even toyed around with designing a ship, you know, just to see if we could do it."
"Any success?" she asked.
"Not really. But now that I think about it, the Chief's design sort of reminds me of what we came up with. Maybe that's why I remembered the carbon composite."
"She must have told the Chief about your little homework project," Kara speculated.
Helo looked uncomfortable, as if the mention of Tyrol was a sore spot. She thought they had come to an understanding, but maybe they really hadn't. "I don't know. Maybe. How the frak do I know what they talked about?"
"Hey, easy! I was just rationalizing the similarities, that's all."
Helo sighed and looked away, scrubbing a hand through his short hair. "I should probably let you get some rest."
"Look, Helo, I didn't mean. . ."
"It's okay, Starbuck, really. I'm scheduled to fly a CAP in about twenty minutes. I'll stop by and see you later." He stood and gave her hand a squeeze. Before she could say another word, he was gone.
Wondering what nerve she'd touched, Kara readjusted herself on the bed. Everything on her seemed to ache and the pain meds weren't doing a lot for her other than maybe impairing her judgment. She didn't want to think about what had happened with Lee, but like a sore tooth, she kept coming back to it.
She hadn't meant to kiss him. Even when she'd shifted and her mouth was suddenly on his, she meant to pull away. Really. But then his tongue had touched her lips. The sensation was like nothing she'd felt before, and that surprised her as she'd been kissed by a fair number of men, Lee included. It wasn't electric, or fireworks or any of the other clichéd terms she'd heard. It was more that it felt right. Like she had come home, which was a cliché in itself she realized. But that didn't change how it made her feel. Maybe that's why she kept dwelling on it.
Zak's kisses hadn't made her feel the same kind of thrill Lee's had. Probably because no one cared if she kissed Zak. But people cared if she kissed Lee, starting with his father and ending with the nuggets under her command. In a weird sort of way, the illicit nature was intoxicating. Maybe it was the real reason they danced around each other. Sexual tension was a cheap high, and could be just as destructive as alcohol, drugs or any other habit-forming behavior. If they weren't careful, the damage to their relationship could be irreparable.
Kara didn't want to dwell on what it would be like to openly express her feelings for Lee. It was like when she was growing up and she'd day dream about what having caring parents would have been like. How great it would have been if she'd come home from school and they'd ask her how her day had gone and actually meant it. As it was, she was just happy not to have been accused of something she hadn't done, or hit when she'd only followed their instructions. So, she tried to take comfort in Lee's friendship, knowing she wanted more, but happy she at least had that.
It was getting more and more difficult to fight the effects of the drugs she was receiving, and in the back of her mind she knew there was a reason she shouldn't be succumbing to the beckoning void. Something about Cylons and what they were doing. But, at the moment she didn't care. Thinking about running her fingers through short dark hair seemed to be her priority at the moment.
7
Lee decided to deliver his reports to his father personally. Not only so William knew he'd finished his duties as he'd been instructed, but also to talk to his parent. He assumed today had been the first his father had heard of Kara's trials on Caprica. Well, some of them at any rate. Lee doubted Kara had still told either of them everything, doling out information as she saw fit. He didn't think Starbuck had out and out lied to either of them, she'd just committed the sin of omission.
Knocking on the Commander's door, Lee was surprised to hear him practically shout, "What!"
His gut reaction was to run away and not bother his father, but he wasn't a child anymore. Unfortunately his subconscious sometimes forgot. "It's Lee," he called out, waiting for his father to tell him to enter or open the door himself. William mumbled something about coming in, and Lee felt that little boy cringe again.
Opening the door, Lee saw William hunched over a set of star charts, totally absorbed in what he was doing. He stared at his father, wondering when he'd aged and why he could still strike terror within him with a word or a look. Part of it was the guilt he had over their estrangement. He'd misjudged his father on some, but not all levels. Another part was the respect he had for him as a commander. It was odd. He'd never been under his command before but he could now see why his father's troops would do anything for him. Some days he hated that they shared a last name, but today he was proud to. All of this flashed through Lee's mind as he waited for William to look up.
"I have the duty roster you requested," Lee said when his father finally made eye contact.
"You could have turned it in to Tigh," William's gaze returned to the maps, effectively dismissing him. But Lee wasn't about to be dismissed. Part of the reason Lee felt inadequate around his father was because he let him, and he needed to stand up to him.
"I could have, but I wanted to talk to you."
William stood up again and removed his glasses. "What about?"
"Starbuck.
"What about her?"
"Do you think she's told us everything now?"
William pinched the bridge of his nose, and laid his glasses down on top of the star charts. Motioning Lee to the sofa, he poured them each a glass of water.
"I think she's still holding something back," William said, joining him on the couch.
"I think it might be something personal."
William nodded. "In which case, we'll have to wait for her to tell us what it is. You know better than anyone how close-mouthed she can be."
Lee couldn't help the grin that formed on his face. "That's one term for it."
"Getting her to open up about Zak was a minor miracle," his father added.
"But you got her to. I guess I thought you could this time, too."
"Maybe, but I think you'll have more luck these days than I would. She told you about Zak before she did me."
"Dad, I know there's been rumors. . ."
"Relax, Son. I only meant that the two of you seem to have become closer lately. War will do that."
Lee looked down to avoid his father's gaze. Maybe it was the war that had initially brought them together this time around, but it wasn't the reason they could usually be found in each other's company.
"And it's reasonable to expect that closeness to intensify over time."
What was his father trying to say? That he didn't object to he and Kara spending more time together? Was he giving them his blessing? "Dad, what is it you're trying to say?"
Now it was William's turn to look elsewhere. "I knew how you felt about Kara even before Zak died. I saw it the first time I saw the three of you together."
"Dad, I never. . ."
"I know, you never would have come between them. And I doubt they saw what I did. It took someone from the outside. A parent to see what was happening. I'm guessing you didn't even know at the time."
His father was wrong. Lee had known he was attracted to Kara, but she was in love with his brother. A sibling who'd always struggled to distinguish himself from his father and older brother. Zak would never be a great pilot, but he'd managed to gain the affections of an extraordinary woman, and in Zak's mind it had set him apart.. Lee could see that's what Zak thought, and couldn't bring himself to upset his brother's world, no matter how fascinated he'd been with Kara himself.
Lee still couldn't bring himself to be completely honest with his father. "You're right. I can see now that I was attracted to her, but I wouldn't have done anything to hurt Zak."
"I know that," William said. He paused and then pushed forward. "But Zak isn't here any more."
Lee was getting frustrated with his father's circular conversation. "Dad, I wish you'd just say what you're trying so hard not to."
William leveled a stare at Lee. "I think Zak would want Kara to be happy. She's happy with you."
Lee was totally taken aback. His father had more or less just told him to make a play for his dead brother's fianceé. Besieged with several different emotions, Lee was speechless.
"Not that I'm openly advocating relationships within the command structure, but if something were to happen, I think I could be too preoccupied to notice." William worked at trying to suppress a grin at his son who was still trying to find words that sounded coherent. Raising his eyebrows, Lee could only say,
"Wow."
"That's it?"
Lee swallowed, blinking slowly. "How long have you been thinking about this?"
William cocked his head as if he were mentally calculating when the idea had first taken root. "Some time now. I have to be honest. When I first thought about you and Kara together, I was angry. I thought you were betraying Zak's memory."
"And now?"
"I've watched the two of you. There's a synchronicity between you that defies description. Something that profound and that effortless just seems right. But I guess it's when I saw the two of you in sickbay that finally clinched it. You were willing to face disciplinary action rather than leave Kara's side. That said a lot."
Lee hadn't realized he'd been so telling, but as he looked back at how he and Kara acted around each other, he could see where the rumors started. They flirted outrageously with each other, just one step shy of taking things to the next level. Could they? he wondered. Could they be more than friends and not have it affect their working relationship? Because that was the bottom line. His father and commander was willing to look the other way if they continued to work well together. He thought he could remain objective, but he wasn't sure. Just look how he'd frakked things between them because of the incident with Baltar. If she continued to be secretive, he would probably do something stupid again. Not that she hadn't made her own share of mistakes. It just really shouldn't be this hard to love someone. But with them it seemed to be.
They actually did their dance very well together. As he was advancing, she was retreating, and vice versa. Some how they had to find a way to step towards each other at the same time without breaking apart instantly.
Lee looked over at his father, "I'm still not sure what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to clear the air with you. Son, I've come to the realization there's nothing wrong with you loving her. She's easy to love. At least when she's not taking a swing at you," he grinned.
Lee smiled and nodded knowingly. Suddenly serious, he broached the topic that was really bothering him. "It's just hard, you know, because I do feel so disloyal to Zak."
"And I'm sure Kara does too. I really don't think it's the frat regs that have held her in check."
Running his hands over his face, Lee didn't meet his father's eyes. "Then how do we get past this?"
"Talk to her," he said, holding up his hand to forestall Lee's coming argument. "She's not going to want to, but make her listen. Think of it as a training exercise."
Lee actually burst out laughing at the thought of trying to get Kara to get in touch with her feelings. He better be suited up in riot gear when he suggested it.
"Just don't push too hard. I think she's more than ready to meet you half-way."
Lee had to agree. If that kiss was anything to go by, he at least stood a chance.
Standing to leave, Lee glanced at the star charts. "So, what was I interrupting?"
William walked to the map and picked up his glasses, gesturing with them to a particularly dense grouping of stars. "This is where Kara found the Farm, somewhere in this area. I'm trying to decide if we should just jump out of this area or if a more aggressive action needs to be taken."
"Kara could answer that, but I think you know what her answer will be. If it's Cylon, she wants to destroy it."
"I think we all feel that way," William said.
"But with her, it's personal. Especially since coming back from Caprica. I guess I can see why now, but sometimes it is the right thing to pull back and live to fight another day. There's times she can't see that."
"Which is why we need to get all the facts before I make a decision. I'd like a meeting with you, Tigh, Starbuck, the President, and myself as soon as she's up to it."
"I'll go talk to her," Lee said, grateful that he had an official reason to see her. It might be easier to get her talking.
8
Kara was dozing, but she still heard Lee's footsteps as he entered sickbay. It was just another one of the things she recognized about him. He had a distinctive walk. Along with all the other distinctive things about him. Lords, she needed a new hobby. The study of Lee Adama would only get her into more trouble.
Kara heard him quietly pull the curtain back and she opened her eyes. "Don't go. I'm awake."
"It's late. You shouldn't be."
"Yeah, well, I seem to have a lot on my mind."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Yes. No. I don't know." She wanted to get it off her chest, but at the same time, she didn't want to burden him with her crap.
"I don't think your father realizes how big this is," she began. "I tried to impress upon him the urgency of the situation, but I don't think anyone realizes what this means. If they start harvesting women--and men--they'll slowly pick us off one by one. They won't have to destroy us with Raiders, they'll just do it quietly. Little by little. In such small amounts we'll either not notice or somehow find it an acceptable loss. It's not acceptable."
"Are you sure you're not overreacting because of what happened to you?"
"Overreacting! Because I don't want to be hooked up to a machine to push out Cylon bastards?" Kara was furious. This was why she didn't talk to people. They never got it. She thought Lee would, but apparently she was wrong.
"I think you should go now."
"No. I'm not going to until you talk to me. I want to know why this is so important to you."
"I can call a doctor. They'll make you go." She closed her eyes, willing him to take the hint.
"You could, but you won't." She could almost hear him smiling, and it really made her want to call someone to toss him out. But he was right. She wouldn't. Because as angry as she was, she wanted someone to understand why this was such a sore spot with her. She didn't know if she could actually voice it or not. It was such a secret desire, she barely touched on it herself.
Kara never thought she wanted to be a parent. Especially after being in the military and seeing what that life did to families. Not to mention the conditions of her own upbringing. She wasn't going to inflict that on an innocent life.
Now she wasn't so sure. Maybe it was since the Cylons were trying to take the option from her, Kara realized she did want to have children some day. Certainly not in the middle of a war, but maybe when they found Earth. If they found it. The jury was still out on that. At any rate, she'd found herself fiercely protective of her right to have children, a feeling she never expected to experience.
Kara still couldn't bring herself to voice it. Lee was so damned psychic most times, why couldn't he be now? "You're still here."
"I've got nowhere I need to be."
"I changed my mind. I don't want to talk about it. You'll just have to deal with the fact that I'm obsessed with destroying the Basestar."
"Kara, don't do this. Don't shut me out." He'd moved closer and picked up her hand. She was a little surprised by the intimate gesture, but it felt good so she cut off the retort poised on her lips. "I think you're afraid you won't have children of your own someday."
Kara's eyes flashed open, starring into his. She hadn't really been serious about the psychic thing, but somehow he picked up on the essence of her dilemma. How was it he did that? Even from the first time she'd met him, when Zak introduced them, she could sense he was seeing into her soul. Much of her relationship with Zak had been superficial; it had surprised her she'd connected with his brother so instantly.
Lee saw beyond the surface. It wasn't just with her, it seemed to be with everyone. He felt too much. Cared more than he should. It made him a good CAG, but it was also his downfall.
"And I don't think you know what you're talking about," Kara said, closing her eyes once more. She couldn't keep staring into those intense eyes and try to deny the truth. "I've always told you I never wanted to have kids because of my parents."
"That's what you've said, but it doesn't mean you can't change your mind. Lately I've thought about having kids one day," he confessed. "Doesn't mean I want them tomorrow, but I don't want the choice taken from me either."
The thought of a couple of little Lee's running around suddenly made Kara's throat ache. More so because she wondered who the mother would be. She would never be able to actually tell him she hoped she was included in her idyllic mental picture. She just hoped he knew.
"So help me convince the commander to destroy the Basestar before it becomes operational."
"You can convince him yourself. He said as soon as you're up to it, he wants to have a meeting with you, me the President and Tigh."
"Tigh? What the hell does he have to be there for?"
"I know neither of us like to acknowledge it, but he is our superior."
Kara laughed and mumbled under her breath, just loud enough for Lee to hear. "He's still a superior asshole you mean."
"Regardless, Dad wants him there."
"I don't know why he bothers. Tigh will go against anything you or I say, just to be contrary. Has he ever agreed with our take on anything?"
Lee looked as if he were trying to find an instance when Tigh hadn't indeed been a superior asshole, but he remained silent.
"I rest my case."
"It's going to take a bit to get all the players together, so why don't you try to get some rest, hmm? There's nothing more you can do tonight."
Kara flashed him a saucy grin. "I was trying to before I was so rudely interrupted."
"Are you in a lot of pain?"
Startled for a moment by his concern, Kara decided she didn't have to be totally brave with him. "A little, but I'll be okay."
Lee's eyebrows shot up. "A little? You're admitting you're in a little pain? You must be dying! Maybe I should call someone. . . ."
Kara tried to swat his arm, but Lee moved too fast and her hand merely swiped through the air. His grin was infectious, and Kara found herself smiling in spite of herself. "Go away and let me get some sleep."
Lee leaned towards her a bit, and for a second she thought he was going to kiss her again, but he just clenched his fists and backed up. "I'll see you in the morning," he said. "Sleep with the Gods."
"You too," she replied her voice suddenly thick, wondering if he really had intended to kiss her. Even if it had been a chaste one to the forehead as he'd initially tried for earlier, she would have relished it. She wished more than anything that he didn't have to go, but she knew he needed too. For more than one reason.
9
Lee had just finished his morning run, surprisingly chipper considering Kara wasn't running alongside him. He had a towel slung around his shoulders, and was whistling some old Caprican ballad as he headed for the showers. He couldn't explain why he was in such a good mood. There really was no reason since his best pilot was in sickbay with a broken arm and a re-injured knee. He was already short on pilots and Kara's accident hadn't helped their cause.
But Lee had come to a decision last night after he'd left her. He was tired of the roles they'd chosen for themselves, and he was going to ask her today what she thought about taking things a step further. If yesterday's reaction was anything to go by, she was probably at least open to the suggestion.
Starting his ballad over again, Lee looked up to see Dee headed toward him. She didn't seem to be in any sort of hurry, so he relaxed a fraction. If something was up, and she'd been sent to look for him, she wouldn't look so calm.
"Morning, Captain," she greeted him with a nod as she approached him. She had a slight smirk on her face that belied the respect that normally went with his rank. He knew he must look a sight with sweat-soaked clothing and his hair plastered to his head, but he was about to remedy that.
"I must admit, even though you and Starbuck aren't running together, you're both in about the same state of needing a shower." Dee had become a lot less formal with him since he'd begun teaching her self-defense moves, but Lee was surprised by her statement. Sure, Kara could probably use some cleaning up since she landed in sickbay, but the equipment she was connected to precluded her ability to shower. He thought Dee would have taken that into account.
Ignoring for the moment Dee saw the need to comment on Starbuck's hygiene, Lee asked, "Did you see her this morning? How's she feeling?"
"Okay I guess, I passed her in the hallway outside sickbay. She was struggling, you know, with her I.V. and all. I asked if I could give her hand, but you can imagine how well that went over."
Lee didn't have time to give Dee and answer, as he took off running towards the medical station, dropping his towel as he ran. What the frak was she thinking? He couldn't imagine that anyone in charge of her care had allowed her to walk at all, let alone out in the hallway! He was going to frakking kill her if she didn't collapse first!
Skidding around the corner, Lee saw Kara clinging to her I.V. stand, using it as a crutch. However, since it had wheels, it didn't offer much in the way of support. Especially when she only had one good arm and leg.
Lee rushed up to her, grabbing her just before she caved in. "Starbuck, are you completely frakking nuts!"
"Don't yell at me! You told me once I was up and around your father would have his meeting to decide what to do about the Farm ship." She was breathing hard, and in obvious pain, but she still tried to push him away, determined to get to her feet on her own.
"This isn't what I meant and you know it! In a couple of days when you're feeling better. . ."
"This can't wait a couple of days! None of you seem to realize that!"
"Kara," Lee said, trying to calm his own voice, "you're not up to this. And I'll bet you a month's pay that no one cleared you for your little stroll through the ship."
"I'd take you up on that if we were actually getting paid," she said, struggling against him. It only caused him to hold on tighter, trying to get her to stop fighting. He'd hoped when he saw her later today she might end up in his arms, but this wasn't exactly what he had in mind.
"Come on. We're getting you back to sickbay." When she didn't argue and now allowed him to help her up, he realized how much she must truly be hurting. She still tried to shrug him off, but he wouldn't remove his arm from around her waist.
"Ick! You're all sweaty," she said, elbowing him in the ribs.
"Well you're no day on the Virgon Riviera yourself," he said, not giving in to his urge to smile. He needed to impress upon her that she couldn't just take off whenever she wanted. She already took liberties no one else got away with and she needed to learn that even the great Starbuck had to answer for her actions.
"Doc Cottle's going to kill me," she said, limping so heavily, she was practically hanging on him.
"Probably. And he's not the only one. Lords, Kara, do you have any idea what it does to me when you pull stuff like this?"
She looked up at him then, surprise registering on her face. "I guess I hadn't really thought about it."
"No, you didn't. That's the problem. This isn't just about you. You don't realize how many people worry about you. Okay. Me," he amended in an uncharacteristic display of frankness. "I worry every time you climb into your Viper or that damn Blackbird. And every time you come back hurt it chips away a little more at me. Soon there's going to be nothing left."
Kara had stopped moving forward, looking at the floor. "I guess I never thought of it like that." She took in a deep breath then looked up at him. "I guess I should have though, since it's the same for me. You don't know how hard it is when you go out there without me to watch your back. How hard it is to sit here in sickbay knowing what a threat that Basestar is. I have to get back out there."
Lee drew her closer. "I know you do, but this isn't the way to get there."
"Then help me, Lee. Help get me up to your father's quarters so we can get this settled one way or another."
"Of course I'll help you, but you have to help yourself as well. After the meeting is over, regardless of the decision, you'll come back here, and stay here until Doc Cottle releases you. Is that clear, Lieutenant?"
"Yes, sir!" she replied, giving him a sloppy salute with her good arm.
"I'll believe it when I see it," he said, breaking into a grin. Kara tried to take a step, but her knee buckled again. Lee caught her, and without another word, swept her up into his arms.
"Lee!" she practically squealed. "Put me down!"
"Shut up, Kara. You're in no condition to take another step." Lee could tell she was uncomfortable about the turn of events as she refused to look at him, and was so rigid he thought she'd break rather than bend at the waist. "Grab your I.V."
She reached out with her good arm, causing her to wince as her casted arm was pressed into his chest. Unfortunately there wasn't a way to avoid hurting some part of her as he carried her through the hallway.
As they neared the door to sickbay, Kara pleaded, "Lee, put me down! What if someone sees you carrying me like this?"
"They'll think I'm either the luckiest or unluckiest guy in the Fleet, depending on your point of view."
She tried to take a swing at him, but her hand was still occupied with the I.V. stand. "You are so going to pay for this when I'm cleared for duty."
"I'm looking forward to it," he smirked. He spotted her bed across the room and made his way to it without being seen. "See? No one's going to know a thing about how you got back here. Your pride is in tact."
He lay her as gently as possible on the bed, trying not to jostle injured arms and legs any more than necessary. Kara looked up then, meeting his eyes for the first time since he'd picked her up.
"Thanks," she mumbled, clearly unsure what else to say. He still had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, and it was pinned between her and the bed, bringing their faces practically nose-to-nose. All it would take was for either of them to move a hair's breadth for his lips to be on hers, but, once again, their timing sucked. Doc Cottle descended like an avenging angel, cursing Starbuck with more venom than Lee had heard from the doctor since his father had been a patient.
Lee stood back, watching nurses check Kara's I.V. Monitors were no longer attached to her, which probably had facilitated her escape. He started to leave when Kara called out to him,
"Hey. Where you going?"
Pulling his sticky tanks from his chest he said, "as you so rightly pointed out, I need a shower. And I'm going to be late for a briefing."
"You're going to be late for a briefing? I'd say the worlds would end, but it's already happened. Guess that means you must have already missed one."
Surprisingly, Lee was glad she was teasing him. It meant she was on the mend which could only be good for all of them.
10
A freshly showered Kara Thrace sat on the edge of her bed waiting for her escort. She smiled at the thought of Lee "escorting" her to the commander's office as if it were the Fleet Ball or something. He'd left word over an hour ago that the meeting had been set, and Kara threatened the medical staff to be their worst nightmare if she didn't get a shower. Several nurses assured her she had already surpassed that, but offered to help her nonetheless. She figured she must be fairly gamey since they hadn't put up much of a fight.
So, there she sat, trying to think of what she was going to say to the people gathered in Adama's office. She could play up the horror of the situation to the president. The commander would need to be convinced of the threat the Cylons posed. Kara was fairly sure Lee was already on her side, which left Colonel Tigh.
If she could get Adama on board, she was pretty sure Tigh would follow. Oh, he'd argue, be belligerent, but in the end he'd agree with whatever his buddy Bill advised. Tigh was nothing if not a "yes" man.
Lee interrupted her thoughts by pushing a wheelchair up to her bed. "M'lady, your carriage awaits."
"Too bad it doesn't come with a prince," she quipped.
Putting his hand to his heart, Lee exclaimed, "you wound me, Madame."
"Then maybe you need this more than me," Kara offered.
"Just get in the chair, Starbuck, or do I have to put you there?"
"I'm just fine, thank you."
She tried not to grimace as she stood, but it was impossible. Everything on her just hurt too damn much. Although she'd never admit it to Lee, it had been a stupid move to try to go for a walk that morning. If Dee hadn't have happened by, she might still be lying in the corridor. She'd like to think the medics kept a better eye on their patients, but the truth was, they were overworked like everyone, and she didn't make their job any easier.
Kara felt extremely self-conscious at being wheeled through Galactica, but fortunately they didn't come across anyone she knew. Lee had kept up a steady stream of prattle, designed to distract her, she guessed. She just found it annoying. As much as she lusted after Lee Adama, there were a lot of things about him that she could do without. Babbling was one of them. He didn't often do it. Sometimes it was hard to get him to say anything. Then there were the times you just couldn't shut him up. Today seemed to be one of those days.
". . .and Racetrack and Hot Dog are scheduled for the next CAP so don't worry, your nuggets are taken care of."
"Swell. Are we almost there? Did you take the scenic route or something?"
"My, you're a little testy, aren't you?"
"Forgive me for being a little edgy when the fate of the Fleet is hanging in the balance."
"Look, Kara, I'm sorry. I know how urgent you feel this is. But the Cylons have probably been out there for months and nothing's happened. Why do you think it's going to be a threat tomorrow?"
"It might be today," she said. "Lee, I thought you at least were on my side."
He stopped pushing the wheelchair and came around to look at her. Squatting down so they were at eye level, he assured her, "I am on your side, but you have to realize no one else is going to see this as the menace you do because they weren't there. You can deny it all you like, but there's an element of revenge in all of this as well."
"Damn straight there's revenge involved! Revenge for me, for Su Shaun, for every woman they had hooked up to their machines. I'm not about to let their sacrifices have been in vain."
"You can only do your best. Go in there. Convince them, and I'll be right beside you. And I'll stay there regardless of the decision."
Kara looked down at the floor, shaking her head. "You don't think I stand a chance, do you?" She moved her gaze up to his eyes:"You think your father's already made up his mind to jump away from here, don't you? Well, the President still has to be convinced, as well as Tigh, which means I only have the possibility of getting to the president. But I have to try, and maybe I'll convince your Dad as well."
They were silent the rest of the journey to Adama's office. Kara planning her arguments, and Lee lost in Gods knew what mental activity.
The door was open when they arrived, and Kara was surprised to see everyone waiting for them. She'd hoped to have a few moments to gather her thoughts before she had to face the President.
"Lieutenant Thrace," Laura Roslin said, smiling and coming to her feet to greet her. She took Kara's hand and firmly squeezed. "You have no idea how relieved we all are that you're not seriously injured after your experience with the Cylons."
Kara smiled weakly at the President, glancing over at Colonel Tigh. Well, there's one person who isn't on the bandwagon, Kara thought. Not that Tigh would wish her harm, but she seriously doubted he'd lost any sleep over her accident.
"Thank you, Madame President, but I beg to differ with you about the outcome of my encounter with the Cylons."
Roslin looked back at the Commander, questioning if he hadn't told her everything. Before she could query Adama, Kara added,
"I'm referring to my encounter with the Cylons on Caprica. Both incidents are related as I hope you've been made aware?"
William looked up from his ever-present paperwork. "She's been briefed."
Kara could see he wasn't going to make this easy for her. "Lee, would you mind pushing me up to the table?" Once settled, Kara addressed the President.
"I'm assuming the Commander filled you in about my missing report."
"Yes, he did. I have to say, I'm disappointed you hadn't included this bit of information. As you see now, it turns out to be vital."
Saul Tigh snorted and mumbled under his breath, " 'Disappointed'. It was a gods-damned breech of protocol."
"Colonel," Adama warned.
"As I was saying," Roslin continued, "I was shocked to discover the Cylons are using our people to try to procreate. We're just fortunate you escaped to let us know."
Kara felt about two inches tall. How did she do that? Roslin could sit there, speaking in her calm voice and shred her like no dressing down could. She could see why the President had been an effective educator.
Clearing her throat, Kara said, "I'm sorry I didn't bring it anyone's attention sooner, but I had assumed the threat was limited to Caprica and the other Colonies. It was a very . . .personal and painful time for me, and I just wanted to forget it. I see now keeping quiet was an error in judgment." Her eyes flicked back to Tigh, waiting for him to make some derisive comment. "Regardless of my behavior, I do believe this Basestar Farm is a serious threat, and one that has to be eliminated."
"And why do you see this as more dangerous than the Farms on Caprica?" Laura asked.
"Because this Farm has jump capabilities. I've been thinking about it. If the Cylons have Farms on the Colonial worlds, why go to all the trouble to build one on a Basestar?"
"Just what I've been wondering," Tigh interjected.
"I think they want a fresh supply of Humans. Ones that haven't been exposed to nuclear radiation."
Lee looked up then, catching her eye. He'd quietly taken a seat to her left and remained silent. He gazed at her now, questioning her latest theory. She couldn't say where the thought had come from. It hadn't struck her until just that moment. But really, why else would they be spending their resources on a non-combative Basestar? Sure they wanted to eliminate Humanity, but they needed Humans as well. At least until their experiments paid off.
"Up until Sharon and Helo, the Cylons efforts haven't been successful," Kara continued. "Maybe it's the radiation that's preventing conception as much as non-compatibility."
Laura nodded her head in agreement. "It's as good a motive as any. Although, Helo and the Cylon had been exposed to radiation, and yet they conceived."
"That must have been a fluke, because nothing else has paid off for them yet. There were hundreds of women in the facility I was in, and I got the impression none of them had produced viable offspring."
"I'm surprised they let it get away," William said. "I would have thought they'd be wanting to know why it'd become pregnant when they couldn't duplicate the results."
"It's why she. . .it offered to help us get off Caprica. I guess it feels we're the lesser of two evils. Even being in the brig is better than facing them." Kara leaned forward onto the table, decreasing the distance between herself and Roslin. "Madame President, if even one of there own fears what they're capable of doing, what do you suppose they'll do to us?"
William interrupted before the President could answer. "It's not that we don't realize the threat, Lieutenant, it's obviously very real. But I think if we jump, before the Basestar is operational, we'll have cheated them out of their fodder."
"You don't get it, do you? They know we know about them now. Even though I wasn't detected on their ship, they were taking pot shots at me as I left. Perhaps they haven't realized I was from Galactica, but they sure as hell know I was Human because it wasn't one of their ships.. They've stepped up their timetable, I'm sure of it. They know we'll try to jump; it's our M.O. They'll be able to track us since we have a Toaster on board."
"Then we'll put the damn thing out the airlock!" Tigh yelled. "It's what we've should have done from day one!"
"People, please," Laura said, "The Cylon isn't the issue at the moment. She held up her hand to forestall Tigh's comment. "I agree, Colonel that it's a liability, but for the moement it's the best source of Cylon intelligence we have."
"If you can believe what it tells you," Tigh mumbled.
"She wants the baby," Lee said, joining the meeting for the first time. "She's not going to lie if it puts her child, or Helo at risk."
"We're getting no where with this," Adama addressed the group. "I've heard your arguments, Starbuck, but I still think our best option is to leave this area ASAP. Madame President, are we in agreement?"
Laura looked over at Kara, indecision obviously weighing heavily on her. Her gaze touched on everyone at the table, as if trying to gauge their feelings. Kara saw her eyes turn hard and knew in that moment she'd lost her fight.
"I agree, Commander. I think we should jump as soon as it can be arranged."
"This is bullshit!" Kara exploded, slamming her good hand on the table. "They're going to follow us, find us, like they always do! And when they do, it won't be just raiders they send out, there'll be harvest ships as well!"
"Starbuck, that's enough!" Tigh reprimanded her.
"They'll have all our fighters engaged, and while no one's around to defend them, they'll land on an unprotected civilian ship and take anyone they want!"
Tigh was on his feet, as angry as Kara. "Lieutenant! I said that was enough!" Your Commander has made his decision and you will abide by it, is that clear!"
Kara closed her eyes, trying to get her anger under control. It took a moment, but she finally opened her eyes again and looked at the XO, answering through clenched teeth. "Yes, sir. As crystal, sir."
William looked at Kara, his eyes locked on hers, and she felt the fight draining out of her.
"Dismissed, Lieutenant."
Kara saluted him, nodded to the President, and barely touched her hand to her forehead as she looked at Tigh. Turning to her left, she said, "Lee, get me out of here."
11
Lee could tell Kara was fuming. Her shoulders were tense, good hand balled into a fist, and most telling of all was she was silent. He didn't know if he should try to talk to her or not. He was still deciding how he wanted to handle her obvious ire when she spoke.
"Thanks for all the help in there, Lee. Couldn't have done it without you. Oh, wait. I didn't do it with you. That's probably why we're going to just frakking run away."
Lee stopped pushing her wheelchair forward and spun her around to face him. "Don't lay this at my door! My father had already made his mind up when we'd arrived, you could see that. Anything I would have said would have only gotten he and Tigh even more worked up. The whole business with the President was just for show."
Kara crossed her uncasted right arm over her left and looked away. "Well I'm really glad I got myself put on report for telling him about what happened on Caprica. It obviously made a big impression on him."
"This is about keeping the fleet safe, and he must feel that we don't have the resources to take on a Basestar."
"But that's just it, Lee. We don't need a huge strike force. A team of Marines and me. . ."
"You! Kara, you can't even walk! How the frak do you expect to lead a Marine strike team?"
Kara's lips were pressed together in a thin line. "I would have managed."
"Yeah, and gotten everyone killed in the process! Face it, you're just not up to this now!"
"But if we wait, then it will be too late! Once they're on-line, the place will be crawling with Centurions. As it is now, there's not that many Cylons on board. We could do this. I know we could."
It wasn't that Lee didn't have faith in her. If she was healthy, he might have taken her more seriously. As it was, the thought of her even setting foot in any ship was preposterous. The meeting alone had sapped most of her energy. She needed to rest, not working on a plan to mount an attack.
"Kara, I'm taking you back to sickbay. You'll rest, and get cleared to fly again, and that's it. That's what you need to concentrate on."
"Fine, sir. I'll be happy to lie around and gather dust while the rest of you are out there putting your lives on the line."
"Oh, you won't be gathering dust, Lieutenant. You can still teach your basic flight classes, catch up on paperwork, that sort of thing. This isn't going to be a vacation."
"Damn, and after I got shot at, crashed the Blackbird and everything. Better luck next time, hmm?" Kara was trying hard to suppress her grin. "Damn it, Lee! Why can't I stay mad at you?"
"Because I'm so darned cute?"
"Um, try again."
"I'm sure it's because you love me," he said without thinking. "Like everyone does," he quickly added. But the damage had been done. Kara was looking everywhere but at him, suddenly as self-conscious as he was.
Lee was looking down as Kara's as eyes moved up and met his, the look on her face surprisingly frank. "The last time, it was you saying you loved me,. You kept claiming it was as a friend. I'm assuming you realize that I do love you, but again, as a friend."
There was a weight on Lee's chest as he felt his heart being crushed. What did he expect? Maybe if he was honest with her, she'd amend her statement. Or maybe not. Maybe she'd tell him she was sorry he loved her, but she just didn't feel the same. He could take on a squadron of Cylon raiders, but the thought of exposing his heart to Kara Thrace scared him to death.
But he wanted to tell her. He was tired of the games, tired of not knowing if she were just toying with him or if there was more to her feelings. Their kiss the day before seemed to indicate more, but was she just hungry for a quick frak? He wouldn't be that to her, no matter how much he desired her.
"Kara, I. . ."
"Captain Adama, sir!" Helo cried, running up to them. "Speeder and Roundup are at it again. Chief said I needed to find you to help bust it up."
"I thought they were out on CAP," Lee said, wondering what the two nuggets were arguing about this time. They couldn't agree if it were day or night, let alone anything else. Gods knew why Kara kept them flying together.
"I'll go," Kara said. "They're my nuggets. Helo? Would you do the honors?" she asked, indicating her wheelchair.
"Helo, I'll go. Take Kara back to sickbay. The last thing she needs is to get into the middle of a brawl."
He took off running towards the flight deck. Damn! Every time he came close to telling Kara how he felt, something came up. Now it was two knuckle heads who were probably fighting over who was leaving the chute first. It was then he realized there was never going to be a good time to tell her. If he wanted to be honest with her, and find out where he really stood, he was just going to have to come out and tell her. If he didn't love her so much, this wouldn't be a problem. Did Zak have this much trouble telling her?
12
Kara still felt a little raw from her exchange with Lee. What was with all the touchy-feely stuff lately anyway? It was so unlike him to hint at the possibility of more between them. Maybe he was as tired of fighting the attraction as she was? Even if he was, what could they do about it? It's not like they could see each other off duty. Well, she guessed they did see each other off duty but not in a dating sort of way. Gods! She couldn't even imagine the kind of flak they would get. Teasing she expected. It came with the territory. She was thinking more in terms of the military. Adama and Tigh had made it very clear the fraternization policy was still in effect when the Chief and Sharon had been found out. She didn't think just because Lee was his son, and she nearly a daughter, William would go any easier on them. In fact, it would probably be just the opposite. She could hear him now: "You're my son, I expected better of you." The thought of Lee being exposed to that kind of censure was enough to make her keep her longings to herself. Sure she'd like to see if there was more to their attraction than simple lust, but she wouldn't put Lee in that position. It just wasn't worth it. Especially considering her track record with men.
"Hey, Starbuck!" Helo said nudging her shoulder. "Why so quiet? You're not worried about Stingray and Roundup, are you? They do this on a daily basis. I'm sure after a night in the brig they'll be back out there flying. We're too short on pilots for the luxury of a real reprimand."
Kara slumped sullenly in the wheelchair. Helo was right. She got away with more crap because Galatica needed her than she ever would have if she were just another lieutenant in the Colonial Air Group. Suddenly, she sat up. That was it! She'd had the germ of and idea floating around in her head even before her meeting with the big players. And now, Helo had given her the final piece. She could do this. They could do this. After all, they couldn't afford to throw the book at them. The Fleet needed them.
But it was also a reason not to go on this fool's errand. Risking herself was one thing, but she was about to ask Helo to do the same. Did she have that right?
"What's up with you, anyway?" Helo asked. "You're never this quiet."
"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."
"Hmm. You must have. You haven't swore once about those two."
Kara managed a slight smile, but was too busy trying to formulate a plan. Not only did she have to work out the logistics, she had to convince Helo as well.
"Helo, pull over here, there's something I need to tell you." He'd pushed her to the side of the corridor even though they were the only ones in the hallway. Coming to stand in front of her, he was clearly confused. Whether it was her request to stop or her unusual behavior she couldn't tell.
Kara looked around to make sure they were alone before she spoke in a low tone. "Karl, I have to tell you something, but I'm probably breaking every confidentiality code in the book."
"Then maybe you shouldn't. Kara, you've got enough trouble without going looking for it."
Kara smirked, "Copy that." She let the consequences roll through her mind for a moment before she continued. "I think it's worth the risk. It's all worth the risk." Helo's frown was still firmly planted between his brows as she continued.
"Lee and I just came from a meeting with the Commander, Tigh and the President."
"Judging from the look on your face, things didn't go to well."
"No, they didn't. Helo, they just don't realize what a threat a Farm on a Basestar is." Kara looked around once more. "Adama wants to jump from here and the President supports him."
"It's a good call. We don't want to be around when that thing becomes operational."
"No, it's not a good call! But you're right about one thing. We don't want to be around when the Cylons start looking to fill those beds. You saw how big that place on Caprica was. This facility is over three times that size. We can't let them complete the work on that ship!"
"So what do you want to do about it?" Helo questioned. "If the Commander and the President have made their decision, there's not much you can do."
Kara sprung the beginning of her plan on him. "Not by myself I can't."
"Who else are you going to find that's crazy enough to go against Adama?" Kara didn't speak, she just stared at him.
"Oh, no! Don't look at me! Starbuck, how the frak do you expect to take on a Basestar especially against orders?"
Kara knew she had to convince him. Helo was her only hope. Lee wouldn't back her up on this one. In fact, he'd probably turn her into his father. "We could do it. We only need the two of us. A. it's not operational so they've got a minimum of Cylons aboard. B. most of them are worker drones. They're focused on their tasks and don't even realize there's anyone there. The only time they know some one or some thing is in the room with them is if they interfere with their job at hand. I don't know if they're even wired into the net."
Helo shook his head. "You're crazy, Starbuck."
"Like this is news to you?"
"Don't you think it's a little ironic that the Cylons are fighting us because of their perceived ill-treatment, and yet they continue to build worker drones to perform the tasks they don't want to mess with? I think they're closer to being Human than they think."
"Helo, don't try to change the subject. I'll be happy to debate the philosophical differences between Humans and Cylons some other time. Right now I need to know, are you with me?"
"With you? Gods, Kara with you in what? You're in a wheelchair for frak's sake!"
"Look, you let me worry about my mobility. There are three main power grids on a Basestar. Two that are supplying the power for construction, and once that's completed the third grid is activated to run all their new toys. If we get there before they're done, we only have to blow two of the grids."
"Oh, well then. Why didn't you say so? Only two power grids? You're right, that's hardly a challenge."
Kara knew it was time to play her ace. "Helo, what do you think they're going to do to Sharon if they get a hold of her once they're up and running?"
Helo's face paled and lost all signs of humor. "What are you talking about?"
"You think they'll just let her go because she's a Cylon? One of theirs? Why do you think she was in such a hurry to get off Caprica and come to Galactica, knowing she was likely to be put in the brig?"
"I don't know. Maybe she thought she'd be allowed to be with me here."
"Come on, Helo! She knew she was never going to be allowed to roam a Battlestar no matter how much help she's been to us. We're the lesser of two evils. She knew if the rest of the Cylons got a hold of her they'd want to know how she became pregnant, and they wouldn't just ask her. She'd be strapped down on one of those beds with all the tubes and wires while they experimented on her to find out what it is about her that makes her different."
Helo was pacing the hallway, running his hands through his short hair as he contemplated Kara's words. She'd gotten to him. He'd help her. She'd known Karl Agathon as long as she'd been on Galactica and could read the emotions he displayed. She'd realized Helo'd been in love with Sharon probably before he'd known himself. He loved her from afar while sitting at her side. Had Boomer, the Cylon who'd been involved with the Chief, realized her ECO was in love with her? Did she care as long as she had Tyrol? Did it turn her on to know two men were in love with her?
Suddenly, Kara's thoughts of Sharon and Helo evaporated. Had it turned her on, knowing Zak and Lee both wanted her? Well, Lee had never actually said he was attracted to her, but she could tell, same way she could now. Of course he was being a little more obvious this time around. She supposed on some level it had been an ego boost to know there was a subtle competition between the brothers for her affection, but mostly it just made her feel torn. In fact, the real reason the three of them stopped hanging out together was it was just too hard for Lee to be in the middle. She'd chosen Zak and she needed to concentrate on him, not thinking of the "what ifs."
"They won't do that," Helo said, bringing her back to the present. "They maybe want to know how it happened, but they want this baby to be born."
"Are you sure? Sharon certainly must have felt threatened to help us leave Caprica."
"She was worried about me. No offense, but she brought you along because you were there."
"I think you're grasping at straws, Helo. I'm not saying she doesn't love you, but Sharon's out for herself. If it was in her best interest to get away from the Cylons, then that's why she did it." Kara watched as doubt clouded Helo's features. She really didn't want to hurt him, but she needed some leverage to get him to agree to help her.
"We'll need a Raptor and some G-4," she said, continuing before he had a chance to thoroughly think her plan through. "We'll land on the Basestar, plant the charges on the power grids and get off before the timers go."
"Well, you're right. That is just so simple. Of course a wounded pilot and an ECO can accomplish what the Fleet can't. I don't know why Adama can't see that."
"Look, Helo, I never said it was going to be easy, but we have to try. They're not expecting anything like this, because you're right. It is ludicrous. If they're expecting trouble, it would be in the form of an attack. Not a lone Raptor. Damn, I wish the Blackbird was big enough for two and some ordinance. Or Tyrol had refit a Raptor with carbon composite. It would make things so much easier."
"But we won't have stealth capabilities, Starbuck. We should add some minimal weapons, but they take time to install, and I'm guessing the only way we're going to get off of Galactica is to do it as fast and quietly as possible."
A smile crept across Kara's face. "You said 'we.' Does that mean you're willing to help me?"
Helo released a sigh, placed his hands on his hips and shook his head. "I won't let you do this alone, and I know if I don't go with you you'll try to do it yourself anyway. Frakked up knee and arm or not."
Kara nodded in agreement, grin still in place. "You're probably right. But it'll be nice to have you along as my porter."
"Good to know I can add something to my resume. So, when do we do this?"
"Night watch shift change," she decided. "There's fewer people around. Plus it gives us a chance to gather our supplies. Can you get the G-4?"
"It won't be easy, but I think I stand a better chance of getting it than you. I don't know that a viper pilot limping up on crutches is going to inspire Hadrian to just hand over plastic explosives."
"And you think she will to you?"
Karl smiled, and actually looked kind of shy. "I'm not without charm, you know."
Laughing, Kara had to admit he was right. "Well, if Sharon wasn't in the picture you know I'd be all over you in a second."
"Uh huh. I think there's a certain Captain that might have something to say about that."
Now it was Kara's turn to feel self-conscious. Clearing her throat she said, "Do what it takes. Meet me outside of sickbay a half hour before the shift change. Oh, and can you stop by my quarters and pick up my flight suit?"
"How about I just execute the whole op?"
"Would you mind? After all you're the one with two good legs."
"Exactly the point I was trying to make, Kara."
"Look, I promise I'll go back to sickbay and get some rest like a good little girl, okay?"
"And I'll make sure you do," he said, pushing her chair forward once more.
Kara didn't want to admit it, but she did need to try to rest. All she'd done was get wheeled to a meeting and she was nearly exhausted. This crazy plan of hers was likely to take all she had. She could rest when the threat of the Farm had been eliminated. Gods, she hoped this was the only one they'd built.
13
Lee was going to kill her. That is if she didn't accomplish the same feat herself. Lying on her bed in sickbay, Kara stared at the chronometer. Forty-five minutes until Helo was due to show up. What would she do if he didn't? How was she going to follow through if he'd changed his mind? And Lee was going to kill her, either way. And probably do the same to Helo. But then Lee was probably going to have to get in line after the commander and XO. She couldn't think of the consequences right now. They had to move quickly, before Adama could organize the Fleet for a jump. Most likely they'd already waited too long, and there was a good chance they would be left behind. But if they succeeded, the benefits would out-weigh the risks.
Kara had managed to swipe a knee brace when there had been an emergency distracting most of the medical personnel. It wasn't going to help much, but any extra support her knee could get would be beneficial. She also managed to secure a cane. It was going to be damn difficult to move around the Basestar--hell, even getting to the hanger bay was going to be a challenge--but she'd find the strength somewhere. She had to.
She'd tried to put the brace on her knee by herself, but there was no way to adjust the straps with one hand. Helo was going to have to help her with that as well. Really, this was Helo's op more than hers. He was the one who had to round up their supplies and take care of most of the logistics. All she'd done was goad him into helping her.
Helo sauntered into the sickbay, making a big show of coming to see her, causing the nurse on duty to look up at him, motioning him to be quiet. Kara joined the nurse in trying to shush him.
"Will you keep it down? You want everyone to know you're here?"
"Actually, yeah," Helo said in a more conspiratal tone. "This way we've established that you had a visitor."
"So?"
"So when you're missing from your bed, they'll assume I've helped you to the head or something."
"That's not a bad idea," Kara agreed. "But I think we should shoot for something a little more long term like a walk. The nurses are pretty used to me demanding to get some exercise before I've been cleared for it. Help me with this brace. It'll add to our cover story," she said with a smile.
Kara felt the butterflies in her stomach take sudden flight now that things were starting to move. "Were you able to get the explosives?" she asked as Helo pulled the straps of the brace tight around her thigh and calf.
"It wasn't easy, but I had some help from Sharon."
"Sharon? You told her about this! Lords, Helo, what were you thinking, or rather not thinking?"
Helo helped Kara swing her leg over the side of the bed. "As you so rightly pointed out, she's in a lot of danger if the Basestar comes on-line. I thought she might have some ideas about it's vulnerabilities. Turns out, I was right."
It wasn't that Kara wanted to be a hero and do this all on her own. Well, on her own with Helo's substantial help. It was about hitting the Cylons before they could strike them. How the hell was letting the Toaster in the brig in on their plans going to help their cause? She was probably a mainline of information to them, and now the Cylons were going to be waiting at the door for them.
"Great, Helo. Why don't we just radio them that we're coming? Maybe ask them to blow themselves up and save us the trouble?"
"Starbuck, will you relax! Hasn't Sharon proven she's on our side?"
"Not to me she hasn't. All she's done was not frak up our mission on Kobol."
"She lead us to the Tomb of Athena, helped defend us against the Cylons there, and kept Apollo from getting shot. Not to mention the disruption she sent to that party of Raiders when the sleeper virus tried to take over the computers. What more evidence of her loyalty do you want?"
"More than that. Helo, I'm not saying she didn't help us out, but all those instances were in her best interest. The minute that changes, we'll be hung out to dry."
"This is in her best interest. And mine and the baby's. She's not going to double cross us."
Kara's mouth was pressed into a thin line. Helo was hooked, there would be no convincing him he couldn't trust Sharon. Hopefully, he was right. Maybe if it were both her child and Helo at risk, she could be counted on to not jeopardize their mission.
"She gave me a rough layout of the Basestar. Told me where the charges would do the most damage. She even helped me get the G-4."
"How did she do that? You didn't get her out of the brig, did you?"
"I would have liked to, but no. She just told me some things about Sergeant Hadrian's habits so I could get the charges. Seems the good sergeant is quite the woman of ritual and there's a two minute window at ten o'clock when she hits the head."
Kara thought about this bit of information and asked, "And just how would an incarcerated Cylon know this?"
"Boomer, or the other Sharon, however you want to think of her, knew Hadrian's routine. It's how she was able to steal the explosives to blow the water tanks."
"I thought that Sharon didn't know she was a Cylon. How is it your Sharon remembers planning to steal the G-4 if she didn't do it?"
Helo paced before Kara's bed. "It's complicated. I don't know how their memories work, I only know that they can somehow share experiences with the other. . .copies."
Kara could see it was difficult for Helo to admit the woman he loved wasn't unique. That she wasn't her own woman, but an amalgamation of several, perhaps even hundreds of Sharon's.
"We're wasting valuable time, Starbuck. Are you sure you're up for this?"
She nodded yes, but as she stood with Helo's help, Kara wondered if she was. The pain shooting through her leg was enough to bring tears to her eyes and Starbuck didn't cry. Kara was known to, but not Starbuck.
Sucking in a breath, Kara grit her teeth and took a tentative step. "Let's do this." Her knuckles were white as she gripped the handle of her crutch. It was all she could do to hobble across the floor, and it was slow going.
Helo slid his arm under hers but she fought him off. "I can do this myself."
"Look, Starbuck, you can be as brave as you want when we're planting charges, but for now you need my help just getting to the hanger deck. Unless you want to forget this crazy scheme."
"We're doing this," Kara said, trying hard not to grimace with every step. She looked back and noticed the night duty nurse had seen them leaving. Hopefully she was going to be too occupied to notice Kara was missing for hours.
Galen Tyrol never appeared to sleep, Kara thought. No matter what time she was on the hanger deck, he seemed to be there, clipboard in hand, inspecting some ship or other. Tonight was no exception. As he circled a Raptor, he made a series of notes, a slight smile on his face. Apparently he had a ship that was flight ready. For once something was going her way.
Tyrol looked up and his smile brightened. "Hey! Starbuck! You're up and around already? I thought that crash would take you out for days!"
"Not much that can keep me down," she replied with a smile of her own. She didn't know how far her charm would go with the Chief, but she gave it her best shot. "Looks like you guys did a great job with this Raptor. But then you always manage to pull something out of your hat to keep our birds flying."
Tyrol ducked his head, unaccustomed to praise from one of the pilots. Kara felt a twinge of guilt knowing most of the time the only comments the deck crew received were negative. "Well, this one wasn't chewed up too badly," he said, patting the hull almost lovingly. "I can't say the same for the Blackbird, though."
"But you can fix it, right?" Kara's voice was almost panicked. Lee was right--she had fallen in love with the stealth ship.
"I think she'll fly again," Tyrol smiled again, seemingly aware of her attachment to the ship. "Is that why you're down here at this time of the night? Checking on your ride?"
Helo and Kara exchanged glances. "Funny you should mention 'ride,'" she said. "We're looking for one."
Tyrol laughed at them. "Good one, Starbuck. You know no one gets off this ship without the Old Man's approval. Besides, what do you think you're going to fly? You haven't been cleared by Medical and Helo's not a pilot."
"You let us worry about that," Kara said. "Looks like you have a Raptor ready to go."
Tyrol placed his free hand on his hip, staring at them incredulously. "You're serious about this, aren't you?"
"Dead," she said.
"You will be if the Old Man or the CAG hears about you even contemplating this!"
Helo spoke for the first time. "Chief, this is important."
"You're onboard with her? All this trouble for a joy ride?"
"It's not a joy ride," Helo said, casting a glance at Kara. She nodded almost imperceptibly.
"There's a Basestar out there we have to destroy."
Galen laughed wholeheartedly now. "A Basestar. The two of you are going to destroy it. A crippled pilot and an ECO. Forgive me if I sound skeptical."
"The Basestar isn't operational," Kara interjected.
"Well, why didn't you say so? Take this Raptor, I'll get you cleared for launch."
"Chief, you don't understand," Helo tried to explain.
"Damn straight, I don't. Starbuck, I knew you were crazy, but this is insane!"
"It's not just any Basestar. They're building a Farm. I'm sure you've heard the rumors," Kara said.
"Yeah, it's been all over the deck about what happened to you. I'm sorry, it was . . ."
Kara's glare was icy. "This isn't about what happened to me. It's about what the Cylons will do to us--men and women--if that Basestar is allowed to be completed."
"Do you really think you're going to be able to do anything against them? You and Helo?"
Kara nudged Helo and gave Tyrol a smug smile. "A couple of resistance fighters like us? Hell, this is a walk in the Parklands."
Helo tried another approach. "I know you still care what happens to Sharon."
Tyrol looked away, jaw tight. "She's not my Sharon. The two of you have made that abundantly clear."
Helo's eyes roamed the deck as he shuffled his feet. "I'm sorry you've been hurt by all this, Chief. It wasn't either of our intentions."
Tyrol cleared his throat, glancing briefly at Kara and Helo. "I really don't want to talk about this, okay?" His eyes moved back to Kara, then slid away.
"They'll dissect her," Helo pressed. "They want to know how she's managed to become pregnant. Their interrogation methods are going to make our treatment of her look like a party. Why do you think she was so willing to come back to Galactica? She has a measure of safety here. She won't have even that if the Farm becomes operational."
Tyrol turned his back on them, pacing the deck. Exchanging glances, Helo and Kara waited for the Chief's decision. His answer was several minutes in coming, and spoken quietly.
"Take her," he said motioning to the Raptor with his head. "I'll find a way to get her cleared for launch. I'll say it's a maintenance test run or something." Tyrol turned back to them and said, "I hope you know what you're doing."
Kara chuckled. "That's asking a bit much, don't you think?"
14
Lee tossed in his bunk, trying to find sleep, but it wouldn't come. After he'd broken up the petty squabble between Roundup and Speeder, he'd had to rework the flight schedule. The two were technically Kara's nuggets, but it was clear her method of dealing with their difficulties wasn't working. Once that was completed there was more paperwork he'd let slide since Kara's crash landing. He'd been tempted to see that she made it back to sickbay all right, but he trusted Helo. He'd make sure she was settled in.
That didn't mean Lee wasn't still thinking about Kara, and resisting the urge to see for himself she was resting comfortably. The blankets on his bed were in an impossible tangle and he rolled out of his rack to straighten them. Once he was on his feet he thought he should just give in and check on her. He wasn't going to get any sleep until he did. Slipping on a pair of sweat pants and his running shoes, he also grabbed a sweatshirt to ward off Galactica's perpetual chill.
Lee walked the corridors in a sleepy daze. He was tired and wished he could just fall asleep without having to check on Kara. He should have known it wasn't going to happen and looked in on her hours ago. He didn't know what he was trying to prove to himself. That she really wasn't important to him? He'd just come to the realization that she was. There had been no reason to fight his urge to see her.
Yawning, Lee entered sickbay, heading for the area he'd last seen Kara. The bed was empty, although it looked like it had been occupied. Figuring she was in the head, Lee sat on the edge of the mattress waiting for her to return. Her I.V. stand was on the opposite side of the bed, so she must be doing better if she didn't need the drip to follow her.
Lee knew he was impatient to see her, but Kara seemed to be taking an extraordinarily long time. He crossed to the communal bathroom and knocked on the door.
"Kara? You in there? You okay?" There was no answer so he poked his head in the door. "Kara?" Still no answer. Pushing the door fully open, Lee realized the bathroom was empty. Where the hell could she have gone? Had she tried to break out of sickbay yet again? If that were the case, wouldn't she have taken her I.V. stand for support? And why break out? The Commander had already made his decision about the Farm. There was nothing else she could do. Unless. . . . Lee's mind raced to an impossible conclusion. "She wouldn't," he muttered out loud. "Oh, Gods, tell me she wouldn't. . . ."
Frantically, Lee looked around for the night duty nurse. He spotted her conducting an inventory, and rushed over to her. "Have you seen Starbuck?" At the nurse's blank expression he added, "Lieutenant Thrace. Kara Thrace?"
"She's in bed one," the nurse said, nodding towards the front of the sickbay.
"She's not there," Lee said. "I just checked."
"That's odd," The nurse said, walking over to the bed and pulling the curtain back.. "She had a visitor. He was helping her up. I assumed he was helping her to the head."
"How long ago was that?"
"I'm not sure, maybe and hour or two ago."
"An hour or two? She's been missing an hour or two and you hadn't noticed it?"
"I assumed she was asleep. Most of our patients are," she said, clearly warning him to keep his voice down.
"She's obviously not asleep! You don't check on your patients more regularly than that? And you're not concerned she's not here?"
"Captain Adama," the nurse said taking a deep breath, "Would you like to see the list Doctor Cottle left for me to accomplish before my shift is up? Lieutenant Thrace has a history of discharging herself from sickbay. Perhaps her visitor was an accomplice. I would look for him. You can relax. Her injuries are not life-threatening. If they were, I would be more concerned, as you suggested, and I would have called someone."
"Who stopped by?" Lee asked, already fairly sure he knew.
"I'm not sure, one of the pilots, I think. The same one who brought her back in the wheelchair earlier."
Lee nodded. Helo. It had to be. So, she'd talked him into springing her. Probably knew she couldn't convince him to do it. The only trouble was, the wheelchair was still at the base of her bed. She wouldn't try to walk out of there, would she? After what had happened that morning? Lee mumbled his thanks to the nurse who was already back at her inventory and set out in search of Helo. He was so going to bust their asses when he found them.
Helo's rack was empty and the other sleeping pilots had a few choice words for the person interrupting their rest before they realized it was the CAG. Suddenly alert, Hot Dog told Lee he hadn't seen Helo most of the night.
Frak! Lee thought. First Kara disappears and now her partner in crime was missing as well. Something just wasn't adding up. As he made his way back to his quarters, Lee's mind reflected on the last time he'd seen Kara. She was upset over his father's decision on the Farm, adamantly stating something needed to be done about it. . . . Holy Frak! She wouldn't, would she? She couldn't even walk across a room, surely she didn't think she could take on a Basestar! Even if she'd been in perfect health it would have been suicide!
Lee took off at a dead run, sprinting for the hanger deck. Helo had to have been helping her. There was no way she could have even made it out of sickbay without his help. Lords of Kobol, Lee prayed, please let me be wrong. . . .
Tyrol looked up when he saw Lee running onto the deck. "Chief," Lee gasped, "have you seen Starbuck or Helo?"
"Um, when exactly?"
"Tonight, about and hour or two ago." Lee could have sworn a guilty flush washed over the Chief's face.
"Yes, sir. I did."
"And do you know where they are now?"
"Precisely? Not exactly."
Lee was growing frustrated with his evasions. "Chief, do you have an idea where they might be?" Tyrol looked uncomfortable again. Clearly he was holding something back. "If they're where I think they are, they're in a lot of trouble. And I'm not talking about disciplinary. Starbuck is in no condition to take on a Basestar."
"I did launch a Raptor for an eval," Tyrol said, still not fully committing himself. Lee couldn't blame the man for trying to cover his butt on this one. He wouldn't have wanted to be in his position. Starbuck pushing on one side and the Old Man's policies on the other.
"Did that Raptor happen to have Starbuck and Helo on board?"
Tyrol swallowed and hesitated. "Yes, sir, I believe it did."
"Frak! Get my Viper ready," Lee shouted out as he began running towards the locker room. Gods! He was going to kill her if the Cylolns didn't do it for him!
Lee was in his flight suit and back on deck in record time. In fact, Tyrol hadn't even finished his pre-flight check when he'd returned. Lee contemplated contacting CIC to let him know his plans, but he knew his father would try to stop him. Once he was in flight it would be harder for the commander to scrap the mission. Kara had taught him a thing or two about going rogue.
"Skip the check, Chief. I'm sure your crew made sure it's good to go."
"Sir, you of all people . . ."
"I know. Pulling stupid stunts isn't just Starbuck's realm," he said, climbing into the pilot's seat. "Hand me my helmet." It was definitely an order and not a request.
"Captain, I'm going to need to explain this to CIC when they want to know why we launched a Viper," Tyrol said as he worked the buckles on Apollo's helmet closed.
"Tell them the truth. The Raptor that went out for an evaluation flight is acting erratically and I'm making sure they make it back to the barn in one piece."
Tyrol simply nodded as he scrambled down the stairs. Lee heard him call out, "Get Apollo to the launch tube!" as the canopy descended, cutting off Galactica's sound and oxygen.
15
Starbuck sat slightly behind Helo in the Electronic Countermeasure Officer's spot on Raptor 421. "Lords, it's been years since I've been in this position," she confessed. She tried to orient herself with the dials and read outs, but it wasn't coming back to her as quickly as she thought it would.
"And I've never really flown one of these before either," Helo said, proving his point with his wobbly flight path. "Sharon and I would trade places occasionally, but not for a whole mission."
"Just be grateful you're in space and not an atmosphere," Kara muttered, still fiddling with the controls. "Helo, I think I'm going to need some help here."
"I wish I had that recorded," Helo laughed. "The great Starbuck admitting she's in over her head? No one would believe me."
"I didn't say I was in over my head, I said I could use a little help. There's a difference. For one, Viper pilots don't usually get practical training on ECMs." Kara knew she sounded testy, but she didn't think it would be this difficult. Sitting in Helo's place gave her new respect for his abilities.
Leaning back, Helo pointed to a display. "This is the signal we're sending out to disrupt their lock on us. This is a copy of what they're reading." Kara looked at the screen showing several more Raptors rather than their lone ship. It was a damn handy tool, she decided.
"And this," Helo said, practically reaching around her, "is our Dradis. Keep your eye on that so we know how close we're getting to the Basestar."
"Whoa!" Kara yelped, pushing Helo back into the pilot's seat. "You better keep your eye on our flight status or we're not even going to make it to the ship in one piece.." She watched Helo for a few more minutes, fighting the urge to just shove him out of the way and take over herself. The problem was, she couldn't. Two good, strong arms were needed to pilot a Raptor. Besides, she'd been flying Vipers for so long, she might have lost her touch with Raptors. It wouldn't do to have Helo seeing her have as much trouble with the flight controls as she was having with the navigational ones.
"So, what was the Toas. . . Sharon's advice on the Basestar's vulnerability?" Helo's jaw clenched. Obviously he hadn't missed her slip.
"You're basically on the same page. She said the power grids at the main relay junctions were the best place to plant the charges. She drew me a crude map. I think you'll recognize what we're looking for when you see it," he said, handing her a crumpled piece of paper. "It'll start a chain reaction, and it'll be delayed enough that we shouldn't get caught in the blast."
"Shouldn't?" Kara asked, eyebrows raised. "How much time did she say we'd have?"
Helo was concentrating on leveling the ship so he took a moment to answer. "There should be a window of about ten minutes."
"That's not a lot of time. Especially if we encounter trouble."
Beads of perspiration dotted Helo's forehead. Kara really was sorry she'd gotten him into this position. It was one thing to risk her career, but another to drag Helo down with her. Not only that, she pushed him into flying a ship he wasn't prepared to handle. She wouldn't do that to one of her nuggets, why did she think it was okay to subject him to it?
"Sharon agreed with what you said about the worker drones. They're focused on their tasks, so they shouldn't present a problem."
"What about the Humano-Cylons on board? Did she give you a number?"
"I don't think she knows for sure. She did say it was a minimal compliment until it becomes operational."
"What the frak does 'minimal compliment' mean?" Kara flared. "Minimal to her could be ten or a hundred!"
"I'm sorry, Starbuck! She doesn't have access to a crew list! We're just frakking lucky she knew this much!"
Kara was contrite. "You're right, Helo. I'm sorry so much of this is landing on your shoulders. You never bargained for this."
Helo quirked a smile as he looked over at her. "None of us bargained for any of this."
16
Lee was several minutes out of the chute before Galactica tried hailing him. "Viper 269, this is Galactica, please respond." He hesitated a bit too long and Dee began her hail once more. "Viper 269. . ."
"Galactica, Apollo," he interrupted her. Lee heard a click and knew his father or Tigh was about to come on the line.
"Apollo, report," Adama demanded.
"A Raptor was sent out for a test flight and seems to have lost control. I'm going to usher them back to Galactica." Lee closed his eyes briefly, hoping his father would believe the half-truth and let the matter drop. It wasn't all that unusual of an occurrence.
He heard his father's distant voice as he must have turned to Dee and asked who was on the Raptor.
Dee's voice was tentative as she confirmed, "Starbuck and Helo, sir."
The sound of Adama's voice was stronger now in Lee's ear. "You knew it was Starbuck," he accused. Before Lee could respond he heard his father call for a secure channel.
"Did you know she was planning this?"
"No, sir, but it didn't take long for me to put the pieces together. That's why I'm out here. Someone has to save her from herself."
"Roger that," the Commander replied. "You're authorized to continue your mission, Captain. Get them back in one piece so I can take them apart." William's voice held a quiet edge Lee readily recognized. He wouldn't want to be in Starbuck or Helo's position when either he or his father got a hold of them.
"Raptor 421, this is Apollo, please acknowledge." As expected, Lee heard nothing over the wireless. "Repeat, this is Apollo. Please acknowledge." He was getting more frustrated by the second, knowing he was in range and they were ignoring him. Switching to the secure channel he knew Starbuck would be monitoring, he was a little less polite.
"Damn it, Starbuck! I know you can hear me! Answer me!." There was a length of silence before he heard a single word come over his headset.
"What?"
"'What?' What the hell you think I want?"
"You're pissed," she said, stating the obvious.
"Pissed? Oh, no. I'm way beyond pissed. I was pissed when you weren't in your bed in sickbay. Now I'm barely holding it together."
There was another long silence. "Apollo, you know why I had to do this. If I would have stayed on Galactica, you might as well have put a gun to my head."
Lee felt some of his anger deflating. For the first time he could relate to how she felt. At this moment, at this time, this was the only thing she cared about. The only purpose her life had. She couldn't live with herself knowing she hadn't exhausted every possibility.
"I do know why you had to do this," he answered quietly. "I wish I didn't. I'd just as soon haul your ass back to Galactica as sit here debating with you. I just wish you were physically up the challenge."
"Does that mean you're with us?" Lee couldn't mistake the expectation in her voice. "We really could use some back-up here." It warmed his heart to hear the relief she spoke with. It would seem she felt better he was here. He hoped the optimism was for him and not just any Viper. Lee knew she relied on his skills as a pilot, but there was a corner of him that was glad he was here.
"I'm here to make sure you get back to Galactica to face my father," he said, trying to sound stern, but he knew the grin on his face was bleeding into the sound of his voice.
"You know, if we pull this off, I'll be happy to hand myself over to the Old Man." Lee thought it sounded like Kara's confidence was slipping a bit and it caused him concern.
"Seriously, Starbuck, are you up to this? I know you'll kill yourself trying, but I'd like it if you lived a little bit longer." He was a little taken aback at his raw honesty. Even if he hadn't actually articulated it, he knew Kara understood his meaning.
"You still owe me from that last Triad game. I'm not planning on letting you off the hook."
"Copy that," he smiled. At least he knew Kara didn't consciously have a death wish.
17
The Basestar was looming up impossibly fast and both Helo and Kara were having difficulties with their respective duties. So far no attack Raiders had been dispatched, so Apollo hung back, hoping not to alert the Basestar they were there.
"Starbuck, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to help me," Helo said struggling with the controls. "I'm just not qualified to land this thing."
Kara hobbled up to the pilot's seat. "You're going to have to move to the left, Helo, which means I'll have to sit down and you're going to have to crawl over me."
"Um, okay. How do we do that?"
"We'll have to hover here for a moment. I sure as hell don't want to try this as we're moving." Kara sat on the left edge of the seat as Helo stood. She slid to the right, as Helo climbed over her. For a moment they were nose-to-nose and they both laughed despite the seriousness of their mission. Or perhaps because of it. At the moment, Kara didn't care. It was a welcome relief.
"Good thing Apollo can't see us now," Helo said, now sitting on the left side of the seat. "I doubt I'd live to try to kill myself on a Basestar."
Kara felt her defenses rising. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that Apollo tends to be more than a little protective of you."
"He is of all his pilots," she answered, hoping Helo was going to drop the subject. She knew she flirted with Lee, but she did with most men. Hell, she flirted with Helo and everyone knew he had a girlfriend in the brig. Why should her flirting with Lee be any different?
"Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that, Starbuck. Do you think Apollo would have come chasing after us if it hadn't been you? I'm not saying they wouldn't have launched a Viper to bring us back, but I'd lay money that it would have been Hot Dog or one of the other pilots."
Kara's good hand was wrapped around the right control with such strength her fingers were white. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't I? Look Kara," he said, dropping her call sign, "life's always been a crap shoot in the military. You never know when your number is going to be up. It's even less certain now. You need to grab onto what happiness you can find with both hands."
"In my case, one," she tried to joke.
"Make fun of it if you want, but you know it's true."
"Like you and Sharon?" Kara lashed out.
"Yeah, like me and Sharon. I'm not saying things are great now, but for awhile there? I was pretty damn happy and couldn't give a flying frak that I was stuck on Caprica. In hindsight it was more than worth it."
"So what is it you're trying to say? And you better make it quick as we're about to land on a Cylon Basestar with practically no plan."
"Don't fight him so hard. Would it be so terrible to admit you love him?"
"Who said anything about love?"
"Neither of you, and that's the problem," Helo said, grasping the left hand control.
Kara's voice was hard. "You know, if you're trying to distract me from the task at hand, it's not working. I'm not going to think about this. Or discuss it anymore with you. My personal life is just that. Mine. So don't go making assumptions about things you know nothing about."
Fighting embarrassment and anger, Kara changed the subject. "This isn't going to be easy. We're going to have to synchronize our movements. You ready?"
Helo took a deep breath. "As I'm going to be."
Kara toggled the radio. "Apollo, we're headed in. We're going to be out of range for about an hour. If we're successful in planting the charges and the ship starts to go, get the frak out. Do you understand? If we're not out by the time the G-4 goes, there's no point in hanging around. Got it?"
"When did you make Captain?" Lee's voice was hard and irate "I'll use my own judgment, Lieutenant."
Kara glanced over at Helo and spoke her heart anyway. "Please, Apollo. I need my head in the game and if I'm worried about you, it won't be." her voice was so quiet, and Lee's response so long in coming, Kara wasn't sure he'd heard her.
"All right. If the ship starts to go, I'll leave. But you better get your ass off that ship because I'm not going to make it if you don't."
Helo turned to Kara, his expression practically shouting "I told you!"
This wasn't the time or the place for confessions, so Kara turned her attention to what she could handle--thinking about taking out the Basestar.
Their landing actually hadn't been too bad. Helo was a quick learner and they worked together. Almost as well as she and Lee. No matter how hard she tried, everything kept coming back to him. She prayed to the Gods he would keep his promise and get out of harm's way if they didn't make it off the Basestar.
The Raptor's engines were put in a hold pattern despite the fact it wasn't advised to leave a ship unattended. It wasn't like they had a lot of choice.
Helo had moved to his usual position at the ECO station and reported, "It doesn't look like we raised any suspicion. I don't have any evidence of Cylons."
Kara nodded, trying to give Helo a confident smile despite not feeling very sure herself. "Piece of a treat, right? Let's see the map again." Gazing at the crude drawing, Kara began to orient herself.
Pointing to the furthest power station marked on the paper she said, "This one must be the one inside the room I saw with all the beds and machinery. I'd walked a fair amount before I'd come across it. And I did that by accident. I thought I heard footsteps, so I didn't take a direct path."
"Okay, since that's the furthest one, I'll take it," Helo said, loading up his pack with half the charges. For once Kara didn't argue as she began packing her own carryall. It was heavy and she was hard pressed to swing it over her right shoulder and grasp the handle of her cane at the same time.
"Starbuck," Helo started out, but she cut him off before he could ask the question.
"I'll be fine. Let's just do this." Fortunately Helo knew her well enough to let the subject drop.
Exiting the Raptor, they stood back-to-back surveying the Basestar's hanger, weapons drawn. There wasn't any movement Starbuck could detect, so she called quietly over her shoulder,
"Looks clear." Checking her chronometer, she added, "you've got twenty-five minutes. That's ten to get there, five to set the charges and eight minutes to get back. That leaves us two minutes to launch the Raptor. If the delays are set correctly, we should be far enough away when the grids blow."
"Roger that," Helo answered, adjusting his pack. "Good hunting," he offered, squeezing her hand.
"You too."
Kara started out of the hanger, struggling with her burden and injuries. Pain shot through every muscle as she labored forward. Keep moving, Thrace! she admonished herself. You're going to have a nice long rest in the brig when you get back.
Looking at the time, Kara realized she'd used up eight of her minutes just getting to the corridor outside the hanger. The grid was probably further away than she'd anticipated. The scale on Sharon's map hadn't been even close to accurate, and she began to wonder if the Cylon hadn't done it on purpose. No, she decided. She wouldn't risk Helo. Kara needed to work on burying her paranoid streak, but today wasn't going to be the day.
A shadow crossed her path, causing Kara to look up. Suddenly immobile, she stared in disbelief. "Holy frak!"
Sharon Valerii reached over and took Kara's pack. "You better move it. You don't have much time."
Kara took a tentative step forward, still not completely registering who was assisting her. "Sharon? How did you. . ."
"I'm not 'your' Sharon. She's still in Galatica's brig. Are you going to move your ass or do I have to kick it?" She certainly sounded like the Sharon Kara thought she knew.
Kara's voice came out in a squeak. "Why, um why are you doing this?"
A grin burst out over "Sharon's" features as she jogged down the hall. She turned around and called out, "Sharon's baby. I have a stake in this too, you know."
"How did you know we were here?"
"Really, Starbuck did you think we didn't see you landing?" Kara had wanted to believe there were just that good, but apparently not. Limping forward as fast as she could, Kara shook her head.
"I still don't get it. You're not turning me in, and you're helping me?"
"Well, I'm not going to plant the charges, if that's what you mean. I know God will upload me into the next body when the Basestar explodes, but I can't plant the charges myself. Suicide is a sin."
Sharon's matter-of-fact tone was totally baffling her. "How do you know our plans?"
"Sharon."
"She promised Helo and I she wasn't dialed into the network! That no one would know we were coming!"
"No one does. At least outside of the Sharons on board. Here's your panel, Kara," Sharon said, gesturing to the outer casing of a huge power unit. She leaned over and looked at Kara's chronometer. "Looks like you're still on schedule."
Kara was nonetheless having trouble wrapping her head around the fact that a Cylon was helping her destroy not only her ship, but all the Cylons on board. Yanking the grill off the power unit, Kara asked,
"Doesn't this count as assisted suicide?"
"God isn't that literal," she answered.
"You know, some time I'd love to debate the finer points of your theology, but unfortunately now I've got a job to finish."
"Yes, you do," Sharon answered cryptically. "It's the real reason I'm helping you. Yes, I don't want to see anything happen to Sharon's child, but you have a destiny, Starbuck, and this is not where it's supposed to end."
"So what, you're protecting me from myself?" Kara asked, working quickly to plant the charges.
Sharon's smile was enigmatic. "In a manner of speaking."
Kara slapped a timer on the plastic explosive and set the clock for ten minutes. "Time for me to boogie. Thanks for the help. I may never look at toast the same way again."
"There's no need to be insulting. I could have let you fail, or better still, turned you in. Six would love to get her hands on you."
Struggling with her cane, Kara moved as quickly as she could. She didn't have much time to make it back to the Raptor. "It's not my destiny," she quipped.
Sharon's arm came around Kara's waist helping her along. "Don't think because I saved your ass this time that you're invincible, Starbuck. There are still plenty of Cylons who don't believe in your fate. Some of them are me."
Kara tried to pull away from Cylon's iron grip. Had the Toaster saved her only to turn her into the others as she'd threatened?
"You're almost there. Look, there's Helo."
Helo ran up to them, as flabbergasted as she had been by the Cylon's appearance. "Sh. . .Sharon?" he questioned, looking from woman to Cylon. "What the. . . ."
"I'll explain later," Kara said, disengaging herself from her rescuer. "Time to get the frak out of here!"
Helo continued to stare at the Cylon, perhaps looking for signs of his Sharon. Stepping forward, her eyes locked with Helo's. Moving closer still, Sharon leaned in and kissed him passionately for several moments. When Sharon pulled back, Helo was still looking bewildered .
"I thought I should get something for all my trouble," she smiled.
Kara was motioning him from the door of the Raptor. "Helo! Get on the damn transport, now! We're out of time!" As if on cue, Kara heard Helo's charges going off seconds before hers blew.
"Now!" she screamed.
Helo gave Sharon one last look as he dashed for the closing door of the ship. Sliding to her side of the seat, Kara made room for Helo. Their take-off was shaky, but already they were becoming accustomed to joint flight. Looking out the window as they lifted off, Kara saw Sharon still standing in the middle of the hanger. Her hand was raised, giving them a slight wave in farewell, a mysterious smile still gracing her lips as the energy feedback loop blew the deck plating from beneath her feet.
18
Lee made another circle around the Basestar, hoping he was close enough to the ship that he wouldn't show up on their dradis. Basestars maybe had some superior attributes to Battlestars, but their one failing was not being able to detect a ship that was too close. Usually that didn't happen, as most ships couldn't get nearby. Raptors were of a questionable size. But not Vipers. They were small enough that if they got past the initial dradis range, they could remain hidden in plain sight. That is unless the Raiders spotted them. So far, Athena had been with him.
He checked his chronometer for what must have been the thousandth time, but there was no sign of, or a wireless signal from the Raptor. Just then a bright flash filled his view as sections of the Basestar began to detonate. They must have gotten the charges in place, but where the frak were they?
"Raptor 421 this is Apollo, please respond." He waited a few seconds then tried his hail once more. Still no answer. Trying not to panic, Apollo flew to the hanger bay doors hoping to get a visual in case their radio had been knocked out. What he saw horrified him. Flames from the explosion shooting out into space, and in the midst of it, a charred Raptor tumbling end-over-end.
"Starbuck!" he screamed into the radio, but there was no response. "Helo! Starbuck! Respond!" The radio crackled, then there was silence. The Raptor was still rolling. Either their gyros had been knocked out or the pilots were unconscious. Or both.
"Starbuck!" Lee cried again, slowly maneuvering his Viper as close as he could, hoping to see into the cockpit of the Raptor. It was hard to tell with the motion, but it looked like there were two people slumped in the pilot's seat. Frak! If only there was some kind of back light that would shine through the clear shell of the ship so he could see better.
There didn't seem to be any movement, and Lee felt his panic returning. He hadn't gone through all the agony of finally realizing what Kara meant to him to lose her. Not like this.
"Starbuck! Gods damn it! Answer me!" Lee let his head fall back against his chair as his voice dropped to a whisper. "Please, Kara. Don't do this to me."
"It's always all about you, isn't it?" Kara's gravely voice came over the secure channel. It was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.
"Starbuck! You're alive!" Lee whooped. "How's Helo?"
Kara's voice still sounded shaky when she finally responded. "He looks like he's still out, but he's breathing."
He let the relief wash over him for a moment, closing his eyes briefly. "Thank the Gods." Opening his eyes again, he addressed her current problem. "Are you able to get your ship under control or do you need help?"
"What, are you going to come over here?" the terse response actually reassured Lee. She had to be aware of her situation if she was irritable.
"No, but I could give you a nudge if you need it." There was a long silence and Lee wasn't sure if he'd lost her signal or if something else had gone wrong. "Starbuck?"
"Um, just doing some assessing here, Captain." Any comfort he'd gotten from her earlier behavior was evaporating with her use of his rank. "It looks like the blast took out our port thruster. The starboard one isn't able to compensate, which is why I can't fly this damn thing. Helo! Wake up and give me a hand here!"
"Apollo, Helo," his voice was as disoriented as Kara's had been.
"Good to hear your voice Helo. With respect to Starbuck, you know more about Raptors. Any chance you can get that thruster to work?"
"I think it's fried. I think the only thing that's going to stop our spinning is going to be to cut the starboard thruster as well. Any chance we could get a push?"
Lee was about to answer when Starbuck's voice came over the radio. "We've got company, boys. Helo, get over to your station and tell me what you see." Lee saw two Raiders and began to charge his weapons.
"Starbuck, what have you got for ordinance?"
"Checking. Six missiles, no nukes. And we don't have any directional capabilities. If we're going to use them, the Cylons are going to have to be right in front of us."
"Leave that to me," Lee said as he began firing on the closest of the Raiders. The flier bobbed and weaved in a typical pattern. Being machines they rarely reacted erratically. Their methods were calculated, logical. Which is why Starbuck was so effective against them, Lee thought briefly. Right now he could use some out of the box thinking.
"Apollo, Helo. There's a third, no, a fourth Raider showing up on my scans."
"Copy that. Starbuck, I'm going to try to lead them in front of you. When they're in range, see if you can do anything with those missiles of yours."
"Roger," Starbuck answered. Lee didn't have to see her to know she was fully engaged in the battle going around her. He was also glad he wasn't Helo, stuck on a Raptor with her that was dead in the water.
"I've got a lock," he heard on his headset. "Firing." Just then the Raider swooped away and the rockets went wide. "Frak!"
While the Raiders had been concentrating on him earlier, once the Raptor's weaponry had fired, they changed the focus of their attack. Lee wasn't about to let them get a shot off at Starbuck and Helo. Flipping his viper end-over-end he came straight at the Raider headed for the Raptor. Two well placed shots exploded the Cylon vessel close enough to the crippled Colonial ship to knock it out of the way just before another Raider fired a round at them. The shot missed them, but the force spun them back around to line the Raptor up with the advancing Raider. Lee watched as two missiles launched and found their target.
"Take that you miserable frak!" Kara called, her voice victorious.
The last of the Raiders exploded so close to the Raptor, Lee wasn't sure they hadn't been taken out by the blast wave.
"Starbuck! Helo! Do you read?" The wireless crackled and he caught a word or two. "Say again? Starbuck I didn't make that out."
"I said, we're okay. A little shaken up, but it seems like the order of the day." Lee leaned back in his seat a took a deep breath. Hopefully this was the last of the excitement for awhile. At least until they got back to Galactica. Then the fireworks would begin in earnest.
"Starbuck, Helo, I'm going to try to push you, but there's really not a good spot to try it. This is going to be slow going. Add to that your ship is heavy and awkward and it's going to take us awhile."
Kara's voice held the edge of a smile. "I'm okay with that. What about you, Helo? You in any rush to get back to Galactica?"
"Nothing I need to be doing," he answered.
"Hang on boys and girls, here comes that nudge," Lee warned them before flying his Viper into the side of the Raptor. He didn't know if this was the most effective angle to push their ship, but it did give him a clear view of Starbuck and Helo through the front of the Raptor. The Viper hit the hull harder than he expected, and he saw Helo and Kara nearly jarred from their seats.
"Holy frak, Apollo! You call that a nudge?" Kara was staring back at Lee, and with the light of her helmet on, he could see her very angry countenance.
"Sorry, guys, I didn't think I was going to hit you that hard."
"It's okay, Apollo," Helo said. "You know how wound up Starbuck is after an encounter with the Cylons."
"Encounter?" Kara questioned, "Helo, you're making this sound like we went sight seeing. I think it was a little more intense than that."
"Children, do you think we could get along? We've got a long flight back to Galactica. We won't even be in wireless range for another hour. So, what should we talk about? Maybe about how frakking insane it was of you to think you could take on a Cylon Basestar?"
"It worked, didn't it?" Starbuck's irritated voice came back. She was still staring daggers at him though the clear shield of the Raptor.
"That isn't the point," he said staring back at her. "You came with no back-up, no exit plan, what the hell were you thinking?" Suddenly it dawned on him. She hadn't planned on making it back. She'd viewed this as a suicide mission from the start. It was bad enough for her to take matters into her own hands, but to bring Helo into it. . . .
"Kara, you had no right to ask Helo to do this," he said quietly, knowing the EC officer would hear his words as well. Lee saw her look down, then over at Helo.
"He's right, you know. I didn't have any justification to drag you into this."
"Starbuck, do you really think I would have let you go off and do this alone? I didn't see what was going on inside that Farm on Caprica, but I saw what it did to you, and that's all that mattered. Sharon just confirmed my worst fears." Lee listened to Helo's voice, feeling like a voyeur. "I knew the odds of us getting back were pretty damn slim, but what were the odds for the fleet if we didn't do this? Even if you had been physically capable of flying a Raptor, there's no way I would have let you do this by yourself."
Lee felt a surge of jealousy and guilt wash over him. He should have been the one assuring Kara he would be there no matter the cost, but he wasn't. Instead he was berating her for her impetuousness, and had only shown up to discipline her. But he couldn't help it. He'd almost lost her yet again today. How many times could he go through this? When would be the time the gods didn't bless her and she didn't return? He knew when that day came, his life would be over as well.
A heavy silence hung over the three of them until Lee broke it with his quiet voice. "Well, I guess the point is moot now anyway You came, you saw, you kicked some Cylon ass." He looked across the way and saw Kara starting to smile.
"Damn straight we kicked ass!" she whooped, turning to give Helo a high five. He moved as well embracing her as best he could through flight suits and casts.
Lee heard Kara's voice over his comm as she pulled back and looked at her companion. It was soft, almost apologetic. "I really don't have a death wish, Helo. I was just ready to do what ever it took to get the job done. Even if that meant not coming back."
"I know Starbuck. But we did, and that's what's important."
Lee closed his eyes and offered up a silent prayer to the gods. She'd survived this stunt, only to torture him again another day.
19
William Adama stood in the doorway of the brig watching Kara a moment before he made her aware of his presence. She was lying on her cot, tossing the pyramid ball he'd seen her with since her return from Caprica. Somehow he thought there was more significance to the ball than just a detention distraction. Failing to catch one of her tosses, she mumbled some expletive as she rose with a groan to retrieve her ball. Her arm was still in a cast, and her knee encased in the nearly perpetual brace. Adama watched as she struggled across the cell and wondered for the hundredth time how she had ever pulled off the op.
He'd been at her debrief, and was aware of the assistance yet another copy of Sharon had provided. That still didn't explain how she'd even managed to make it across a hanger deck, further burdened with a back pack of explosives. As upset as he was with her, William couldn't help the sense of pride he felt for this woman as well.
There were aspects of Kara's personality he knew had attracted Zak, but this all-out determination wasn't one of them. It was, however, one of the reasons his other son loved this woman. It had taken awhile, but William had come to terms with Lee's feelings for Kara, and vice versa. It was the reason he'd had his little father/son chat with Lee a few days before. Now if Kara could just keep herself out of the brig long enough, they might actually have a chance to explore that relationship he'd offered to turn a blind eye to.
Kara bent to pick up her ball, and when she stood, she saw him standing in the doorway. She straightened and gave him a perfect salute.
"Sir," she said, still holding her posture. William could see the emotion starting to gather in her eyes, but decided to let her stand at attention for a moment longer.
"At ease, Lieutenant," he spoke as he approached the bars of her cell. Kara's arm dropped and she relaxed slightly, but didn't move from where she'd stood.
"Corporal, open the door, please." William could see the look of surprise on Kara's face as he entered her cell.
"This is highly unusual, sir."
Adama walked to the cot and sat down. "Have a seat before you fall over, Starbuck." Kara hesitated a moment, then limped back to the cot, sitting down next to him. She gripped the pyramid ball with such force, her fingers blanched.
He'd let her stew down here for two days, not having said anything to her since the Raptor had been recovered. No rants, no recriminations, nothing. Colonel Tigh had conducted the debrief but he'd been present to hear her answers. He felt so angry, and so betrayed, he didn't trust himself to speak to her.
As the silence stretched on between them, Kara began to fidget. If he didn't speak soon, he knew she would explode and say things she'd regret and earn herself even more brig time.
"How are your injuries? Are you sure you shouldn't be in sickbay?"
"They're fine, sir," she answered quietly. "Doc Cottle's been here to check me out."
William looked up. Was it an accusation that the doctor had been to see her before he had? Adama decided he was being paranoid. "I'm not going to ask you why you did it," he said. "We went over that in the debrief. What I want to know is why you think it's acceptable."
That shocked her. "I. . .I'm not sure I do think it's acceptable."
"And yet you disobeyed a direct order, stole a Raptor, coerced a fellow officer into being your accomplice. . ."
"I didn't coerce, Helo, sir."
"No, I don't suppose you could threaten him with bodily harm in your present state."
"He stated at the briefing. . ."
"I know what he stated at the briefing!" William shouted, slamming his hand down on the edge of the cot. "You think I don't know how it is between pilots? You think I don't understand the kind of loyalty you have towards each other?"
Kara sat up straighter and looked William straight in the eye. "Laying your life on the line every day with someone has a tendency to do that."
William schooled his tone. "I was a pilot in a time of war years before you were born, Lieutenant. You don't have to quote me the 'way of the warrior.'"
"No, sir," she admitted.
"I'm waiting for an answer."
"Sir?"
"Why do you expect me to forgive you for your little exploit?"
"I don't know that I do, sir," Kara answered honestly.
Adama rose and rubbed his eyes before turning back to her. "Then what do you expect me to do with you?"
"I. . .I'm not sure I know what you mean."
"How would you handle this situation? If you were in my position. Would you throw the book at the offending officer? Demote them? Sentence them to the brig for an indeterminate amount of time? Take away their flight privileges?"
At that Kara looked up into William's eyes. She swallowed, blinking back the tears. "Please, sir, I'll . . . ."
"Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to exercise that option," he said, knowing this was the one thing that would get through to her. "So what do I do, Starbuck? How do I get you to stop risking your life and the lives of others on foolhardy missions?"
Kara looked down once more. "I don't know. I know I should, no, have to be held accountable for what I did. I did all those things I've been charged with." She looked up again, her voice growing steadier. "But I'd do it again in a heartbeat, sir."
"That's the crux of the matter, isn't it Starbuck? You feel no remorse for your actions. What good does any amount of punishment do? You'll do your time and never think, really think about the consequences of your actions."
"I have been thinking, Commander. And I think sometimes the end does justify the means. You've shown me that."
William didn't know how to answer her. She was right. There had been any number of times he'd rolled a hard six when he should have followed procedure.
Adama turned back to face her. "The fact you were successful doesn't change things. Your accomplishment was an accident and we both know it."
Kara nodded her head slightly to one side in acknowledgment. They stared at each other for a few moments before she stood up straighter, jutting her chin out. "So, what's it going to be, Commander? How do you handle an insubordinate upstart like me?"
William had to fight from smiling. Even with as much trouble as she was in, Kara simply refused to toe the line. "I'm working on it." He walked to the cell's gate, calling for the Corporal to let him out. Turning back to her he said, "for now you're confined to the brig. Your injuries won't allow you to fly anyway. Once you are cleared for flight, we'll reassess." Outside the cell, he looked in to see Kara nodding and the smug smile she was starting to form. Feeling his anger rising once more he stepped closer to the bars.
"This isn't over, Lieutenant. Count on it."
Kara's face lost all traces of humor as she stood to attention and saluted him again. "Sir, yes sir!"
Adama walked out of the brig wondering if he'd even come close to getting through to her.
20
Kara was bouncing her pyramid ball against the back wall of her cell, knowing full well it was driving the guard crazy. If she was going insane then she was taking her keeper with her. She was actually getting quite good with the one-handed catches. If she ever got out of this frakking cell, she'd have a new technique for the court.
"Here's a sight I've become a little too accustomed to."
Looking up, Kara saw Lee lounging in the same doorway his father had recently exited. "Two Adamas in one day. I feel honored."
Lee came closer to the cell. "My father was here? Is this the first you've seen him since the debrief?"
"You might as well call it what it was, Lee. It was an inquest. Tigh's been looking for a reason to bust my ass."
"Well, you certainly gave it to him."
"Who's side are you on, anyway?" She asked, coming closer to him. They stood toe-to-toe, with only the bars between them. It had been the same two days since she'd seen Lee as well. She couldn't believe how good it was to see him. Kara told herself it was because she was going stir crazy, but she knew the real reason. She missed him. Two days and she was already going through some kind of weird Lee withdrawal. It just wasn't fair. He seemed to have gotten along just fine without seeing her. Could her life get any more frakked?
"I'm not on anyone's side," Lee stated, staring at her as if he was going to try a repeat of their sickbay interlude. Okay, so maybe he had missed her a little and he'd been giving her time to cool off. Or maybe since he was down a pilot he was having to take her shifts.
Kara didn't realize how long she'd been staring at Lee until she noticed the guard shifting his weight, looking uncomfortable. Stepping back from the bars, she picked up her ball and tried to act as if nothing had just passed between them.
"So, how's Helo? I didn't get a chance to ask your dad what happened with him."
"He got off pretty lightly, actually. Some extra maintenance shifts, official reprimand in his file."
"Oooo. That hurts," she said, turning her back on him and tossing the ball against the wall. She made several catches before she turned back to face Lee. "Seriously, I'm glad they let him off easy. He really just went along for the ride."
"I think they realized that."
Silence lingered between them. She didn't know what else to say to him. She'd already defended her actions to him on the long ride back to Galactica, and he'd let her have it right between the eyes. Finally, they'd agreed to disagree.
"They've got a new nickname for you in quarters," Lee said, causing Kara to turn around.
"Really, what is it? Frakhead?"
Lee smiled. "No, actually, it was much kinder than that."
Curiosity piqued, Kara crossed back to the bars. "So are you going to tell me or not?"
"Artemis."
"Artemis? Like the sister of Apollo?"
Chuckling, Lee clarified. "No, in this instance I think they were referring to Artemis as the patron goddess of childbearing. You destroyed the Farm, Kara. You've avenged the Humans they would have exploited."
Kara thought about what he said. There could be worse things to be likened to. After all, Artemis was one of her favorite gods, even if one of her attributes was chastity. She tended to concentrate on Artemis' role as a huntress. She hadn't really thought about the childbearing part, but given her recent actions, there was a certain symmetry to it.
"Well, I'm glad they didn't mean it in a sibling sense," she said, leaning against the bars of the cell so their hips were touching through the metal. Lee swallowed. It was good to know she was having the same effect on him as he was on her.
Trying to keep his voice steady he asked, "why's that?"
"Because I don't want to be your sister."
Lee stared at her, obviously unsure about how to answer. "What would you like to be?" he practically whispered.
Maybe it was the bars between them that gave Kara a false sense of security, but for the first time in ages, she was honest with him. "Everything."
A slow smile spread across Lee's face as he stepped away from the bars of the cell and her warm contact. "You already are."
The End
