Daria and Jane

in

"Eat It"

Summery: Can Kevin swallow it all?

Legal Thing: Characters belong to someone else.

Props: In memory of John Ritter.

"I can't believe Kevin got all of that in his mouth," Jane said as she looked on at the scene before them.

"I can't believe Mack carries something that big around with him," Daria said, dumbfounded.

"I can," Jane said, still staring. "Mack's always been famous for having the biggest in the school."

"What?" Daria was shocked.

"Sure," Jane said with a hint of nostalgic fondness in her voice. "I was 14 the first time I saw it. My first day here at Lawndale High, and he just whipped it out right in front of me."

"What did you do?" Daria asked.

"I couldn't do anything. I was too stunned. I swear, before then I didn't believe they made them that big."

"I never would've pictured you being that innocent."

Jane looked at Daria with a raised eyebrow. "Oh? And just what made you think that?"

"Well, I mean you hung around with your brother and his friends ..."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Please, Daria, those guys are all lightweights when it comes to this."

"Even Jesse?"

"Especially Jesse," Jane said with a snort. "Although Max has impressed me from time to time. But the real champion of that bunch is Monique."

"Monique?" Daria sputtered. "But, how?"

"Hey, you'd be amazed what she can hide away on that stick-figure frame of hers. Almost as much as Mack."

Daria just shook her head before turning back to the spectacle in front of them. "I don't see how Jodie can stand it."

"I asked her that once," Jane replied with a smirk. "She said it was 'an aquired taste'."

"I'll bet," Daria deadpanned.

"She said it took her about two weeks to get used to it, but now her day just isn't complete without it."

Daria shook her head again. "You think you know someone..."

"Hey, I think Kevin's about to swallow - no, wait, he's gagging. And he's spitting it out."

"Damn!" Daria cursed as she handed Jane a $5 bill. "I thought for sure he'd be able to handle it."

Jane shook her head as the crowd in the lunch room began to dispurse. "I told you, no one - and I mean no one - but Mack can handle one of his custom made Supersized Mega-Jumbo Colossal Lunch Buckets. It's just too much food for any other human to eat in one sitting."