Suffer Alone

Disclaimer: I own nada. There be spoilers ahead, my friends!

Cameron couldn't stay back any longer. No matter how many times Chase had told her to just sit and wait it out in the lounge, to let him recover for himself, she couldn't stay back. It wasn't that she was in love with him, per se, but that she simply could not believe that he had overdone it again, that he couldn't let the puzzle go again. Now as Wilson sat with Amber, watching her slip out of his grasp, Cameron marched down the hospital corridor, determined to not let Gregory House suffer alone.

She skidded to a halt in front of his room. While she couldn't say the sight in front of her astounded her, she was perplexed nevertheless. Dr. Cuddy was perched next to the comatose House's bedside, lightly caressing his fingertips. Though she couldn't see her face, Cameron could tell by her pose that she had been crying. As silently as possible, Cameron slid the door open and tiptoed inside. She stopped when she heard Cuddy sigh.

"Four times he's tried to die on my watch."

"How did you --"

"Saw you rounding the corner. Empty hallway, pink scrubs – hard not to notice, quite frankly." Her voice was scratchy and raw. Her hair was greasy, and as she turned to face Cameron, the younger doctor noted that her earlier suspicions were confirmed by the redness of the dean's eyes. Cuddy turned her attentions back to House. "I wonder if there's a support group for employers of doctors with death wishes."

"I'd say you have a pretty unique case."

A mirthless laugh escaped Cuddy's mouth. "Any update on Amber?"

"She's not doing well at all. She'll be lucky if she makes it through the night. Poor Wilson."

"Yeah."

"It's horrible watching the person you love suffer. And for it to be so sudden…"

"Yeah." Cuddy's grip tightened on House's hand. Cameron suddenly felt out of place, as though she were witnessing something not meant for her eyes.

"I should go…"

"Four times he's tried to die on my watch," the dean repeated. "I've watched the one employee I actually give a damn about almost die four times. What's wrong with him? What's wrong with me?"

"It's not your fault."

"I should have stopped him - should have made him go home rather than let him tax his concussion. I should have taken that knife away from him. I should have hired better security guards for the front door. I should never have let him have that day off so he could go mini-golfing with Stacy. I shouldn't have listened to Stacy."

"Again, Dr. Cuddy, there's no way you could have known…"

"Known what? That I hired a maniac? That I've spent the better part of twenty years putting my ass on the line for a man who only outwardly cares about himself, and sometimes not even that much? That I'm in love…that I hired a maniac?" she finished softly, abashed that she let herself become so discomposed.

Cameron tried to quell the upwelling of jealously that washed over her, self-assured that Cuddy's feelings for House were as requited as her own had been – absolutely not at all. However, she decided that she really should leave, knowing that Chase would come looking for her soon and that she had promised the others she would get a more current update on Amber before she went back.

She left the room as quietly as she had entered it, pausing to take one last look before setting off in the other direction. A tear rolled down her cheek as she watched House's fingers suddenly twitch to life and promptly intertwine with Cuddy's. Nodding to herself, she turned away from the window.

Gregory House wasn't suffering alone.