This one has been going around in my mind for awhile now and I finally found the setting to put to paper.
It's probably gonna be a two or three parter, not sure about that one, but I hope you all like it and don't forget to let me know :)
All the usual disclaimers still stand!.
They were screwed, utterly and totally screwed. It was the only thing she could think off and it took a hold on her, one she didn't want to have as it probably also caused the panic rising inside of her. She had lost track of time, but judging by the little window high above the ceiling it was still night. Not that she would find any sleep , not after being yanked from her bed so roughly, bond and then stuffed inside this room. Her partner had suffered the same treatment and she could see his silhouette just a few feet away from here, leaning against the wall. He wasn't sleeping either but they remained quiet, locked inside their own thoughts and fears.
Up until a few minutes ago, there had been hope, there had been the certainty that a rescue mission would be called up on and that they would walk away from here. Perhaps a little beaten up but alive and in the end that was what mattered to her. But when the door had opened and her heart had jumped up at the joy that rescue was only seconds away, her hopes had been dashed soon. Because rescue wasn't on its way, no au contraire, the one who had to take care of the rescue mission was shoved inside the room as well.
She had wanted to scream, to somehow give a vent to the feeling of frustration running through her, but she had refrained from it. She didn't want to seem weak in front of her team members, but mostly she didn't want to give her captors something to smile about. She was a highly trained special agent, no way this situation would allow for her to crumble under the tension. But it became harder and harder to control her feelings, to control the panic that kept building and building and had reached a high when she saw Sam getting shoved inside the room.
Sam's voice broke the silence, of course he needs to ask about them, about their well being and of course his question is directed to her partner first. Her partner for the operation, the one and only G Callen. Why she found herself in this situation without her normal partner was something she didn't want to dwell up on, it hurt too much. So she tells him she's alright, keeping far away from the 'I'm fine' as they all know that when she uses that she's anything but fine. It's on the tip of her tongue, but bites it down, especially after hearing the tremor in Sam's voice and the sudden realization hits her.
For all the experience Sam has, she suddenly realizes he's in the same position as she is. It's the first time they have gone out undercover, deep undercover without the proper back up, both far away from devices such as coms and camera buttons as the knowledge that people who they could trust were just mere minutes away. It's the first time that both of them wandered out there with only each other as back up and it had failed. Somehow their cover had been blown without them finding out before it was too late, but then again that usually was the case. But the gang they had to infiltrate had been not your average run of the mill gang and they hadn't been able to bring their usual equipment. They had gone in alone, spending three weeks among them and well truth be told had nothing to show for their efforts. Au contraire, having your cover blown and yourself captured was the opposite of a successful mission.
That brought her automatically to memories she didn't want to relive, didn't want to have wandering through her mind. Mainly because they didn't do anything to calm the panic inside of her, no they only served to heighten the panic and it also brought along another feeling she didn't want to face, the feeling of being scared, well let's face it, shitless. Kensi Marie Blye, the highly trained special agent within NCIS was scared shitless and pretty much ready to admit it to anyone who would ask.
There were others who knew about this mission and who, hopefully would be alerted sooner or later that something had gone wrong. But truth be told there was only one other person out there who she could think off. It was the person who should have been by her side in the first place if things hadn't turned out the way they had. And while she respects Callen's experiences at undercover, she's almost sure they wouldn't be in this situation with him beside her. No he made his living out of missions like this and had always managed to come back alive. He did need some rescue from time to time, but still he was among them and that had to show for something.
She could only curse herself for not thinking about that earlier, to actually think first and react later, especially when it came to him. Marty Deeks, her goofy, 'I'll drive you nuts' partner. They had been working together for three years now and still she found it hard to give him the credit he deserved and quite frankly she had been surprised he had stayed around for that long. Because in her life, the men in it, usually left her after a while, or at least that was what she had been telling herself. It only took a situation like this, inside a new environment and a big screw up to shed some new lighting. Apart from Jack, no man in her life had left her willingly, no she pushed and pushed until they gave up on her and left. But Deeks seems to be immune to her pushing, well at least until three weeks ago. Right now, she's not too sure he's still in her camp, ready to do whatever she needed him to do.
'Well if you can do it, I'm pretty sure the entire world can do it as well'
What had possessed her to speak those words, and use that harsh tone was beyond her. She had even known it to be a mistake the second the words left her mouth but pride had prohibited her to make excuses. He had only been trying to help, picking up on her insecurities. But she had taken it all the wrong way, the sudden need to prove herself worthy of the task given to her by Hetty. Now, thinking back on it, he hadn't been telling her she wasn't worthy of it. It was just what a partner, much more experienced partner at said mission would do. Help her on her way, guide her through the mission and pointing out what could go wrong and how she could get those situations turned around and into her advantage. He had finally been ready to open up about this past, as an undercover agent with LAPD and she had shut him down hard.
His demeanor had changed instantly, the telltale flicker in his eyes had died down. He had become the poster boy for built up anger, but she had refused to acknowledge that. She had just turned around on her heels and had gone off to prepare herself for the mission. One of the biggest, if not the biggest mistake of her life. Because by doing that, she had allowed him to stew in his anger, to let it take total control of him. The results of that had been clear when she had come back, ready to go. Hetty stared her down, with a tin line replacing her mouth and Callen not his usually happy self, but still she had ignored it all. It wasn't her fault her partner acted like a child from time to time.
Now three weeks of finding nothing, making no progress at all later and to boot getting themselves captured, the realization hits home. He hadn't been acting like a child, she had. She never dealt good with people telling her what to do, almost always taking it as a personal attack as if she wasn't good enough. Hetty and Nate had pointed that out to her from time to time and she had tried to keep that urge under control. With Sam and Callen it didn't pose as much as a problem as their experience was clear to see and she did have respect for that. With Deeks it had been different though, maybe it was because they were of similar age, him only a couple of years older, maybe because he was just a cop and she was a special agent? Only the past three years had shown that Deeks was as good as the rest of them and while he didn't go through the training they had, he possessed the skill to make it out there. Deeks knew what is was to be on his own out there, with no back up what so ever and yet he always came back home, back to her. And now she had blown that, just like their cover had been blown. For once he had actually something worth to say and she blew him off, like a little child that shouldn't be heard.
Her heart rate went up a few notches, not from excitement but from being afraid, very afraid. The past few months she hadn't been what you could call the perfect partner and while the new year like so often promised a new start, they hadn't taken it. Forgetting about his birthday caused an already rocky start, but then making fun of him from staying in contact with old defendants of him and later also making fun of his past as public defender had brought that anywhere but near to a fresh start. Add to that the insult she had thrown at him before this operation and truth be told, if the roles were reversed she wouldn't come to rescue him. And that is what she was suddenly so afraid of, the fact that even his loyalty he felt to the team, to her, wouldn't be enough to pull him in and to get him to set out and rescue them. And in the end, if they didn't make it out of here alive, it wouldn't be on him but on her. If only she knew how to work together, actually work together instead of pretending they wouldn't be here in this situation.
Hours later and she had been somewhat asleep. But the noise of footsteps coming their ways wakes her up and she can see the other two tense and somewhat prepare themselves. Well as much as they can in their positions, hands tied behind their back and bruised from the rough handling they had received. But still they weren't going to go down without a fight and thats why she steels herself as they can hear the door open, ready to jump at any change to get out of this mess.
TBC...