AUTHORS NOTE-

One shot AU where Dean uses vices to numb the pain.

Make of it what you will.

Feel free to favourite and review.

Hope you enjoy it. x

"Hey Dean!" Dean turned to see a big boobed blonde walking towards him, did he know this girl? He presumed so with the familiar smile she gave him as she sat across from him in the cafeteria. Dean continued to eat his sandwich until a moment passed and the girl cleared her throat distracting Dean from his sandwich, when he looked up he noticed oh, yeah that's right... Kandi, that was her name. Kandi sat leaning against the table pressing her breasts together in her-what Dean thought- Awesome V neck top, to what he presumed was to get his attention. "Hey Dean, I'm having like this get together for my Birthday tonight, no big thing just like a couple of the girls and guys going to some club on the college campus in the city. My Brother knows the bouncer and apparently he doesn't even check ID. Would you maybe want to come?"

"Well I gotta take care of my brother.." Dean started. Before Kandi than began to move further forward, her hand moving to Dean's arm where she gently squeezed. "Oh c'mon Dean , I'm sure he'll be fine for one night. It'll be fun." She flashed a winning smile and Dean was sold. "Okay..What time?" Kandi smiled and retrieved a pen from her bag where she then continued to write on a scrap piece of paper. Ten awkward seconds and one stupid air kiss later, Kandi was up and walking away swaying her hips looking back with a smile. Dean looked at the paper with '9pm , The Kat Klub, Hope to see you there. Love Kandi" written on it. So looks like he was going to a club now...

Dean had gotten Sammy, willing, to stay at a friend's house. And after some begging got him to promise not to tell Dad. Now Dean stood outside the club as rain began to fall from the sky. Kandi walked out stumbling to his side "HI DEAN!" She giggled as she took him by the hand and dragged him into the building. Music thumped loudly and Dean thought to himself what he had managed to get himself into. Drinks went around and a couple hours passed with Kandi and another girl hanging off Dean, and slowly his inebriations dropped as the alcohol began to reach his brain.

Dean had been pulled onto the dance floor. Kandi grinded on his body, her warmth feeling great. Through the night another girl named Summer showed interest, usually remaining behind Dean. Kandi and this girl exchanged sinister smiles from time to time, Summer moved close to Kandi and they moved in with Summer moving her tongue to the point that Dean saw the brightly coloured pill that lie on it, she moved into Kandi their mouths colliding. Summer then continued to place another brightly coloured pull with an odd print onto her tongue and moved close to Dean's body gripping onto his hips, with their bodies colliding she slipped her tongue into his mouth as she had done with Kandi. Dean stood back dazed, but willingly swallowed the pill.

What followed was a night of flashing lights and dulled emotions. Dean would notice where he was every so often , everything a blur of stop and starts. STOP he was on the dancefloor with Kandi as she pressed her body into his. STOP Dean is led down a hall of lovers hand in hand with Summer. STOP Summer stood naked before him with Kandi behind her kissing her neck. STOP Dean bucks his hips hearing the moans of the girl beneath him, feeling her soft skin as he presses his fingers into her waist. STOP.

Dean awoke the next morning, thankfully in his own bed. He looked around the room seeing nothing... Except for that bright red bra at the foot his bed. Dean's head pounded as he try to re-piece what had happened the night before, he remembered parts, back tracking till the point where he knew who must of been smoking outside the motel room. Dean pulled on a pair of jeans and walked outside seeing Kandi with smudged black eyeliner and nothing but one of Dean's plaid shirts on. She sat there somehow still looking drop dead gorgeous . "Hi." She said giving a weak smile, passing the cigarette from her hand to Dean. Dean inhaled deeply feeling the smoke enter his lungs. He felt at peace with the warm smoke filling him. Before gently breathing it out. Kandi smiled taking the cigarette back.

"Well I guess, I better go." Said Kandi throwing the cigarette onto the ground before moving back into the room. Dean followed behind just smiling to himself remembering the events of the night before. Kandi retrieved her dress from the floor and wiggled her way back into the slim line dress moving to Dean to signal to do the zipper up, doing so willingly. Kandi sat next to him on the bed "Y'know we should do this again sometime." Dean smiled to himself "Yeah, sure."

Kandi stood up from her spot on the bed, picking up her high heels by the door before giving Dean a gentle kiss and leaving "Thank-you Dean, I had a great Birthday" She said.

"Yeah.." Said Dean smiling to himself. "It was..."

Chapter 2

2 weeks had passed since Dean's night of mischief. And he will always remember this night, because this was the night that John came home. Dean had walked back to the motel after visiting Kandi after school. John had been on a hunt and to Dean's surprise when he opened the motel door, John sat in the middle of the dimly lit room slouched in a chair with the shape of a bottle in his hand. "Dad?" Dean asked, cautiously moving closer towards the figure.

"It's your fault y'know that?" John slurred "Mary would be alive if it wasn't for you."

"What?" Dean asked, becoming enraged by the accusation. And this is when John moved from his place and with quick strides was in Dean's face close enough that Dean smelt the whisky on his breathe, John's eyes looking crazed and full of anger. What followed was John's short temper and eager fists..

John had hit Dean before, Dean had learnt to just disconnect pretend he was somewhere else and just take the hits, and he would not fucking crying, Winchester's don't cry, it just made John angrier. He remembered John spitting in his face after taking a beating, he lay in a huddled mass on the floor and had started sobbing "Wichester's don't fucking cry." John growled and just left him there, he was 10 for God's sake.

Dean remained distant as John's open palm made contact with his skin, he felt the twinge of pain when John grabbed the nape of his neck and threw more and more punches. Eventually he stopped and Dean just sat there. John left again. To return? He didn't know.

Dean held back tears and went to the only place that he could think of that was safe, or even just a place to numb the pain...

20 minutes later Dean was knocking on her door and was more than relieved when she opened it. "Dean? What the hell are you doing here?" Kandi asked pulling her robe to hide her bared skin. And that's when Kandi saw them, the marks across his face, bruises beggining to form. "Jesus, Dean!" Kandi moved closer to examine the marks on his face, but Dean quickly moved away. "Um, can I come in?" Dean murmured.

"Oh yeah, sure." Kandi vaguely gestured for Dean to come inside.

"My parents won't be home until the morning.." Kandi smiled, seeing Dean's vague expression as he examined the room around him., her smile shifted to a frown and she knew what he needed..What he wanted... She took his hand and led up the huge stairwell into her room, closing the door behind her.

Kandi moved to her bed and sat down with Dean following. "Tell me what happened." Kandi moved toward Dean leaning her weight against his back to soothingly rub his arms. "I don't want to talk about it." He snapped turning his head to make eye contact with Kandi.

"That's ok Baby, I'll make the pain go away" She soothed, her lips moving to his neck where she then softly kissed. Dean's urgency began to grow and in seconds he had moved to grab Kandi's waist laying down her body, resting his weight on top of her, their lips making contact. Dean desperately attempted to mask his pain. Kandi laughed, moving to the draws beside her bed she pulled out a bag of white powder and without a second word Kandi continued to place a small amount of the powder on her hand and inhaled it deeply through her nose, Dean taking note and doing the same. This is what he wanted... To numb the pain... To feel anything, but himself.

Kandi smiled and pulled Dean close, kissing his lips eagerly Dean took the hint and in one swift movement removed her robe from her body. Dean's hands lingered at her waist moving from place to place. Eventually Dean's clothes came off being removed by Kandi at some point. He kissed along her neck smiling as her breathing heightened, Dean moved to his place and after a few moments began to buck his hips, hearing the pleasurable moans leaving Kandi's mouth, his hands lingered around her body and the night continued on with heightened courage and everything in a blur, he had done what he wanted, numbed the pain...