A/N: Hello, dear readers :) Has anyone else wondered what happened to Cody's notebook after London threw it away so unceremoniously? What about those 281 stanzas? Here are (almost all) the answers…
Disclaimer: Disney owns the Suite Life characters.
Ode to Bailey
The notebook hurtled out of the night sky, pages fluttering, a bizarre black-and-white missile. Frou-Frou let out a yelp as it crashed to the pavement, narrowly missing her fluffy head.
"Ma chérie," exclaimed Alexandre, scooping the poodle in his arms. Of all the strange sights he'd seen since moving to Paris, a flying notebook was a brand-new oddity.
Marie Chantal stooped to pick up the notebook, curiosity tightening her sharp, tanned features. "Sacre bleu, it's some kind of poem." She skimmed a page of handwriting, each letter round and bold and immaculate. She skimmed two more pages. "A very long poem. En anglais."
"Oh, I love poetry," said Alexandre. "Even English poetry." Still holding the startled dog, he leaned toward his girlfriend in the white glow from the unmistakably Parisian streetlights that lined the wide boulevard, shadowed by the Eiffel Tower.
Together they read.
ODE TO BAILEY
By Cody Martin
...
Bailey, when we first met you looked like a boy.
When I found out you weren't, my heart filled with joy.
In biology class, our two hearts connected
Over the organs of the frog we dissected.
Yet exiled was I to the wretched Friend Zone,
A desolate place where I pined all alone,
Dreaming of you and your beauty so fair,
Writing nine-page emails about your hair.
It was there I constructed my Six-Month Plan
With the ultimate goal of becoming your man.
...
Despite my fears of appearing lascivious
To my overtures you were wholly oblivious.
I hoped to charm you at the fall school dance,
An event designed to spark romance,
To sweep you off of your farmgirl feet—
With chance on my side, no impossible feat.
I had the right song, the moves to entice;
The stage was set, the timing precise.
I held my breath as we crossed the dateline,
But kismet decreed you would not be mine.
...
My soul turned to stone when you turned to Holden.
It was painfully clear I'd have to embolden
This prelude to dating; my campaign to woo you
Was floundering worse than a segment of "Boo You."
A trip to Greece, to my recollection,
Inspired the first token of my affection:
The exquisite amulet of Aphrodite,
Plus the discovery of a strength so mighty,
Of knowing I'd move Heaven and Earth for you,
Defy the laws of physics, if I had to.
Marie Chantal looked up, rolling her dark brown eyes. "This Cody is no Baudelaire, is he?"
"Au contraire, he sounds sweet," said Alexandre. "Bailey is a very lucky girl to have found someone so literate."
"Hmmph." She turned the page and they kept reading.
The night we waited for Galapagos Gertie
I wished you could have been more flirty.
I abandoned Zack to form our alliance
Of two bright young minds devoted to science.
There in the moonlight your spell I fell under
As it danced off your hair in a kaleidoscope of wonder.
From that day forward, our friendship happily
Flourished until you said so snappily
That you'd gone down the waterslide with Frank
And just like an anchor, my spirits sank.
...
As Corn Queen you were one hot tamale,
Hotter than a model in Arturo Vitalli.
How I longed to be your adoring Corn King,
Losing to Moose had a terrible sting.
But the news that followed left me forlorn:
Was your heart on the ship—or in Kettlecorn?
An epiphany arose, the kind that transcends,
That you would miss me (and all your other friends).
The hug you gave me renewed my conviction
That loving you wasn't merely an affliction.
...
When Hannah Montana arrived on board,
I vowed you would meet the star you adored.
I did all I could to get us concert tickets,
Striving to make you the happiest of Picketts.
A scourge of obstacles laid siege to the day;
Disaster abounded, the horizon was grey.
Then fate intervened, like a mystic magician,
And brought my Six-Month Plan at last to fruition:
The tickets were ours and we had a date,
I'd never been in a giddier state.
For the rest of my life, I'll always remember
That kiss you bestowed with lips so tender.
"Finalement!" said Marie Chantale. "It took him long enough to get this girl, no?"
Alexandre shook his head, feeling a flare of exasperation. "Love takes time to grow. Patience is a virtue." He tugged a corner of the notebook, bringing Marie Chantal closer to him as they continued to read in the pool of streetlight.
Sea school provides a unique education.
Sharing it with you is cause for elation.
To galleries we've been, to museums and aquariums.
We've studied the stars at remote planetariums.
O' the adventures we've had, the cultures we've seen
And through it all my privilege it's been
To stand by your side, my country girl,
As you shine in every country of the world:
Italy, India, Chile, Morocco,
Thailand, Sweden, Germany, Mexico...
...
Could I ever forget saving you from Princess Zaria?
T'was such a relief, my heart sung an aria.
Or our musical stylings for the air band show,
A delightful blend of guidola and cello?
Or the Miss Tipton Pageant, as I well recall,
Where your beauty and talents enchanted us all?
Or Home Ec class? What incredible flattery
That jealousy would drive you to assault and battery,
Even prompt you to hit on Woody Fink!
You never cease to amaze me, my dear Ms. Pink.
...
Among memories cherished are hours spent daily
Watching Cody Blow-Holey and Bailey-Wailey,
Those darling blue whales whom we have adopted.
When they were in danger, our friends we co-opted
To combat the evils of marine injustice.
United we stood, like the great Augustus,
And sweltering we stayed in the engine room,
Refusing to surrender in the face of doom.
Together we proved we can fight the man:
We protected our babies and the rest of their clan.
"Awww, they are so brave." Alexandre knew he was beaming like an idiot, like the love-struck teenager he himself had been not so very long ago, but he couldn't hold back the grin.
A sour face from Marie Chantal, as if she'd taken a sip of boxed wine. She skipped a few pages.
Bailey, I love how we're so complementary.
A harmonious bond should be elementary.
We're both so mature, of intellect outstanding;
I thought we'd be immune to misunderstanding,
Yet the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever,
So I've learned, no matter how you endeavour.
Relationships depend on compromises,
Like which of us will win more Nobel Prizes,
And like any couple, we've had ups and downs,
Our fair share of arguments, of tears and frowns.
...
Our first fight erupted over the Coriolis Effect;
I was just trying to stop us from getting shipwrecked!
Sorry I bored you solving crime in London,
And for our marriage project being devoid of fun.
I've lost track by now of the times we've competed;
Neither of us can handle being defeated.
Another challenge: we both hate to be wrong;
But we'll keep tackling problems for as long
As our hearts are in sync, our goals aligned,
Our futures planned out, our destinies entwined.
Marie Chantal made a bored sound and, to Alexandre's disappointment, she flipped to the last page of the notebook.
Here I sit in a Parisian café,
I've been writing for hours, there's so much to say.
Burning with passion, I'm a literary sage
As I pour out my feelings, page after page,
Lovingly rendered in hand-written script.
With this gift of paper, I'll be equipped
For our one-year anniversary celebration
In the City of Love—the perfect location.
Through careful reflection and heartfelt recounting,
I'm at two-hundred eighty stanzas—and counting!
...
Yes, a whole year has passed, a major milestone,
Since you liberated me from the Friend Zone.
I've been the happiest guy in the galaxy,
I'm not exaggerating, it's no fallacy:
Your smile still melts me to an ice cream puddle,
My heart skips a beat, my brain goes a-muddle.
Tomorrow we'll dance atop the grand Eiffel Tower.
I can't wait to see you at the agreed-upon hour,
Or to see your face when these verses I unveil.
Happy anniversary, Bailey, my little hay bale.
Marie Chantal's eyes were rolling again. "Ouf, what sentimental drivel! No wonder Bailey threw it away."
No, that couldn't be it. "She must have dropped the notebook by accident because she was so happy. We should look for her so we can give it back." Alexandre glanced up and down the boulevard, past strolling couples and a few lone figures—anyone who might be searching for a lost notebook, a lost expression of love.
"I think not." Marie Chantal tossed the notebook into a garbage can, a dismissive flick of her wrist. Her eyes narrowed to a chilly stare. "And just so you know, Alex, for our one-year anniversary I want a trip to Barcelona. Not a poem." She strode ahead, her heels clicking on the pavement, her black skirt swishing around her knees.
Alexandre gazed into the garbage can. Merde. A blob of mustard from a half-eaten baguette was spreading across the notebook pages.
L'amour, he thought bitterly, why does it have to be so complicated?
A whimper from Frou-Frou was the only answer he got. He gave her cuddle before setting her on the pavement with a weary sigh. Into the garbage can he reached for the stained notebook, then tucked it furtively into his satchel. He would not—could not—let the words of Cody Martin go to waste.
Heaving another sigh, he hurried after Marie Chantal.
A/N: Thank you for reading! And thank you to my friend romance-writing friend Danielle for French assistance. I considered putting all the dialogue in French with English translations but figured that would read too awkwardly, so please imagine that the dialogue is fully in French. Love to all, and a virtual chocolate croissant for reviewers. Xoxoxo – Ellie