"I'm coming back for you Kaidan!"
The words burned like fire, and Kaidan shot back with ice. "I think we both know that's not true, Commander."
He was going to die. He had been willing to sacrifice himself since the beginning, and now he was going to die. Why had she turned around to defend Ashley? Why had Shepard forsaken him at the last moment? He gritted his teeth. He loved her, and she left him.
Kaidan saw the Geth Prime charge towards the Captain, and in that moment he had peace. He ran inbetween the Salarian and the synthetic, and slammed the Geth back. His powers seemed unmatched now on the brink of death. He quickly pieced together Shepard's reasoning. He loved her, and would give more than his life to defend her and those she protected. That is why she had to leave him behind, because he loved her, because he was the strongest and could hold on longest. If he could only have one more touch…
Jordan tossed in her bed. She was letting her mind wander, a bad habit. She coped, she adjusted to loss, but it still sat in the back of her mind. When things were quiet, she'd still think about them, and she'd still wonder.
She shoved the pillow under her elbows and propped herself up. She never had had time to grieve for Kaidan. In the rush between Virmire and Ilos, there was no time. The Galaxy had been at stake, but it seemed wrong. The man had no family, nothing left to lose, but that made it tragic. He left this universe without a legacy, only to live on in her mind.
'Ashley had to be saved, her family would fall apart without her.' She tried to reason with herself, but the guilt lingered. If only their last words to each other hadn't been so rushed and so hurtful. The dagger of ice split her heart again, and her eyes began to water. "I think we both know that's not true, Commander"… He was crystal clear. He was hurt. What an awful way to die.
Jordan let the tears fall. She never let anyone see her cry, but alone in her cabin she could let herself loose. Her breathing sharpened, and she let herself fall into her sadness. Curled into a ball, the savior of the galaxy mourned Lt. Alenko.