Hello fellow reader or readers. This is a parody of the the Hash Slinging Slasher from Spongebob. In this story, it takes place in AU of Five Nights at Freddy's. Hope you enjoy it.
Ah, Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. One of the most popular franchises in America. In the morning the restaurant flourishes with excitement of children and the singing of the animatronic characters, Freddy Fazbear, the lead singer and his friends Bonnie who is the guitarist and Chica the backup singer. But the day is over and the night approaches.
It was around 11:45 as night guard Mike Schmidt arrived to work. The dining room was dark, as was every room in the pizzeria. He goes to the southern end of the building which was where the Security Office was located. In the office, he sees his boss and head guard, Mr. Cawthon (who has a phone for head), and the young rookie day guard, John Hoover.
"Hi, Mike!" The day guard said with a wave.
"Oh hey there, Mike." Mr. Cawthon greeted. With his phone head, you couldn't really tell if he was smiling or not, but Mike could tell he gave a happy greeting.
"Mr. Cawthon and John, what are you two doing here?" Mike asks them.
"I know it's your shift today, but would you mind if John here stayed with you for the night shift?"
"Yeah, can I?" John asks excitedly.
"Why?"
"Because I love this place! Don't you think it'll be great? It's just you and me for hours and hours along with the Fazbear Gang!"
"Isn't the dayshift enough for you?"
"I just want to see how it is here during the night."
Mike looked at the young one who was just about a few years younger than him. He had no point in complaining or detesting, so he decided to accept it. "Fine, Mr. Cawthon, he can stay."
"Groovy. See you tomorrow, John." The phone man replies and pointed to himself and then out the door way in the right side of the office. "I can't hang out here all night, I've got a life." With that, the boss phone man left the establishment.
"It's just us now." John grins, raising both his arms in excitement. "Us two and the Freddy Gang. Now, are you ready to rock, Mike?"
"No."
"Good, because we've got a place to guard!" John says, leaving the office. Mike watched him run into the distance and soon he saw him all over the various cameras positioned around the building.
First the dining area.
"Mike, guess what? I'm waving at the dining area camera…at night."
Next, the backstage.
"Look at me I'm touching the spare animatronics heads...at night!"
And lastly, at the west hall corner. "Ahh! I saw a Golden Freddy! At night."
"Just how can you enjoy the night shift this much? I mean look at this place." Mike retorted to the day guard as he scrolled through the cameras. "I can see why you like the day, but why the night?"
"Because it's Freddy Fazbear's Pizza."
Mike shook his head. "You are a child."
"No, I'm just cheerful. And besides, I'm only 20." John looked back into the corner of the west hall as he returned to the office. Just earlier he saw a picture of Freddy, but it was instead golden. "Hey, did you see that?"
"See what?"
"A golden Freddy in the west hall corner."
"No." Mike proves his point by checking the west hall corner and seeing what was only a normal poster of Freddy. "Now go and take out the trash. If you got time to run around all willy nilly, then I'm sure you can do this."
John took the trash and went off to the dining area. He stopped however, at the entrance upon seeing the darkness outside the building, and the trash can which was a distance away. John reached for his walkie-talkie. "Y-You want me to go out there?"
"If you're talking of where the dumpster is, then yes. What, are you scared?" Mike could only hear him gulp. "But I thought you liked the night shift?"
"You're right." The day guard held the bag up in triumph. "For Fazbear Entertainment!" John exits the door screaming in terror, sprinted to the dumpster and tossed the trash in and quickly ran back indoors, wheezing harshly. He regains his posture seconds later and returns to the office.
"That was a piece of cake."
"So you're not afraid of the night shift?"
"Why would I be afraid of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza?"
"Well I am. Especially after," Mike looks around and gulps, "well, you know."
John turns to his senior. "What? What do I know?"
"You don't remember? It was all over the news."
"Tell me! Tell me!"
"No, no, no, I probably shouldn't. It would ruin the night shift for you." Mike gave him a sympathetic look then a sly smile.
"What happened, what happened, what happened!?" John excitedly questions.
"Don't tell that you've never heard of the..." He paused to think. "...Bite of '87?"
"The slap of '87?" John repeated, his excited look gone.
"The Bite of '87." Mike repeated ominously.
"T-the b-bite -of, 87, uh?" John repeated in failure.
"Yes. The bite of 87. It involved the old animatronic: Foxy who is out order. But most unlucky people just call him 'Fox- huwah?!' Because that's all they have time to say before he gets 'em!"
"Tell me more!" John seemed curious, yet terrified.
Mike began on."Years ago, at this pizzeria, there once was a kid who just as enthusiastic as you. Only clumsier!" He added. "And then, one day when he touched Foxy, it happened..."
"He was caught by an employee?" John said.
"No."
"He didn't wash his hands?"
"No."
"Foxy overheated?"
"No! Foxy bit off the kids frontal lobe of the kids brain on accident!"
Mike did a small visual action.
"How'd it look like?"
"I-I'm not really quite sure, but it was really bad."
"OH NOO!" John exclaimed in terror.
"And then, that kid died that day and as for Foxy, he was shut off for good! So now, every- what day is it?"
"Friday." John replied.
"Every Friday night, the kid's ghost returns to the Pizzeria to posess Foxy's animatronic to reek his horrible vengeance!"
"But tonights Friday night." John gritted his teeth.
"Then he'll be coming."
"How will we know?"
"There three signs that signal the approach of the kid's ghost. First Foxy's song will play, and-"
"Wait, what was Foxy's song?"
"I think it was like 'dudum dum dum' or something like that."
"Okay."
"Next, the main animtronics will creepily look at the camera. And then...Foxy's animatronic awakes with the spirit of the child."
"No!"
"With his rusty hook hand and haunted spirt, he heads towards the office, making his way to the door!" Mike's voice echoed."And do you wanna know what he does next?"
"What?"
"Are you sure you want to know?"
The dark atmosphere already made John feel creeped out.
"What?" A more tensed voice.
"Do you really wanna know?"
"What, what does he do?"
"He stuffs you in a Freddy costume!" Mike poked him and John began hollering while Mike began laughing.
"HWAH! HWAH! HWAH! HWAH!"
"John, I was just-"
"HWAH! HWAH! HWAH! HWAH!"
"I was-"
"HWAH! HWAH! HWAH! HWAH!"
Hey, John, I was joking!" Mike decided to end it.
"What?"
"Its not true, none of its true."
"It's not?"
"Of course not, none of the animtronics are possessed and no kid's brain's frontal lobe gotten bitten off."
"What about the haunted spirit?"
"That's not true either! All of it was a joke. Foxy's out of order because the company just couldn't fix him back in 1987."
"Oh, ahahaha...but that did sound scary. Thank goodness you were joking."
3Am, midnight.
Mike watched over the cameras boringly while John went to the restroom. Hearing weird weird sounds he looked at his surroundings and then at the cameras.
"Isn't this great, Mike?" There's not really much time to clean Freddy's band during the day."
"That isn't your job."
"I'm fine with it." He assured.
"Hey, have you ever wondered who'd rob a place like this? And if they did, they'd have to deal with Freddy and his friends gang."
"What do you mean?"
"Eh, it's been a thing since 1987 when the Toy Animatronics were in use. Some things happened..." Mike trailed off.
"Dududum, dududum, dum, dum , dum."
"Very funny, John. Foxy's music will be be playing just like the story, I get it."
"I'm not playing it." John says."Hey, Mike how are you playing his song without the CD."
"Most music tracks are kept in this place...and none of them are in the stereo. Besides, I don't have a a track of him just so singing that."
"I'm not the one playing it, it's probably the stereos in the back playing, are you doing this John?"
"No."
Mike looks at the camera, and at the Show Stage, where he see's the band animtronics looking at the camera.
"Very funny, Mike. Just like you said in the story. 'The animatronics will creepily look at the camera', you crack me up."
"John, I'm not doing this! Wait, wait, calm down, so what was it? First Foxy's song will play, and the Fazbear Band will look at the camera...and then the cameras will flash 'its me'! Wait, that always happens, but what was that third thing?"
"Hey I didn't know that the animtronics roam this late." John says as he hears steps and looks at the camera.
"They don't..." Mike turns to Pirate Cove.
Foxy peeps out of his curtain.
"F-for reals? Foxy's alive? The victim o-of the b-bite of..."
"The ghost the bite of the 87..." John tears up.
"Now that you see, we're doomed!" Mike exclaims.
"No, I'm just so touched that you'd program Foxy to sing and actually move...you must really like me."
"There are a few problems with your theory, John." Mike says."One: Foxy's out of commison. Two: How is it even possible for me to do that, if I was here the whole time?!"
Foxy begins running and the two cower in the corner.
"W-well it was nice working with
for these short hours, Mike."
"I'd say the same thing."
The two begin shouting and Foxy runs towards them and then Foxy stops and runs back.
"What the...?" The two asked as they get up.
And then another employee comes in."Ahaha, you guys actually fell for it! And I can't believe that you, Mike would be scared of it."
"So you were responsible?" They asked, feeling relieved.
"Yup." The man nods."Foxy's singing and him waking up."
"So you if you were responsible for Foxy's song and him waking up, did you make the Fazbear band look at the camera?"
"Pardon?"
"Look." The two scan the show stage and see that they're gone.
"Josh, where are they?"
"I don't know..."
"Freddy Fazbear." The three say his name in unison as they look at him on the monitor.
Author's Note:
It's a long while since I touched the story. I just added and fixed some minor things.