Myka woke up to a familiar sound; Pete crashing around in the kitchen, no doubt making a midnight snack. Normally she would have rolled over and gone back to sleep, but her throat was scratchy and dry – one of the many joys of living in the desert. She got up to go get a drink, and make sure that Pete wasn't destroying the kitchen. He'd blown up the toaster in the middle of the night once, and to say that Leena was not impressed the next morning would be an understatement.
As Myka walked down the stairs there was a loud bang and she began to run. She walked into the kitchen and turned on the light,
"Dammit, Pete, what are you-"she stopped, stunned as she saw, not Pete, but HG.
"Not Pete." HG said slowly as she turned around, "I'm so sorry Myka, did I wake you?"
"I...its fine. What are you doing?" Myka asked still a little bit in shock.
"I couldn't sleep. Thought I'd give the time machine another whack." HG slapped her hand against the machine and something fell off the side of it. "Although, as you can see, it's not going particularly well."
Myka studied the machine carefully, it hadn't looked half this good when she and Pete had sent Rebecca back to 1961
"Helena, this looks...how long have you been working on this?" Myka asked softly taking a small step towards the other woman
"Not long," HG said quickly, "Just a...a few weeks," She mumbled the last part and hung her head
"Have you been working on this every night?" Myka asked forcing her feet to stay in place and not to reach out to the other woman
"Not every night. Some nights it frustrates me far too much and I would've hated to have woken you – any of you, with my banging. Although it seems now, that I was not successful."
"How long has it been since you slept properly?" Myka asked
HG said nothing she just stared at the piece of metal in her hand. Myka knew that avoidance stance - she'd used it many times as a child trying to convince her father that she hadn't spent half the night reading. She used it now when Pete tried to talk to her about HG.
"Alright, how long has it been since you slept at all?"
HG still said nothing, as she moved to turn her back to Myka, Myka moved closer and put her hand on HG's shoulder.
"Helena?" Myka asked again.
Still not looking at her, Helena said in a small voice, "I've been awake for about four days now,"
Myka felt that there was more, "And?" she pushed
"I haven't really slept more than a few hours since..." She took a deep breath, "since I came back."
Myka turned Helena around. She caught her eyes and asked the question, even though she was afraid of the answer, "Why can't you sleep?"
"Because...I..." Myka saw the tears pool in Helena's eyes and ran her thumb over HG's shoulder. She tried to shrug it off, annoyed with herself for being vulnerable.
"It's just me Helena," Myka whispered, "tell me."
"I'm just...scared that...if I go to sleep, when I wake up..."
"You'll have missed another hundred years." Myka whispered almost to herself, filling in what Helena couldn't. Myka felt her heart break as Helena nodded and surrendered to the tears.
"Come on, you need to sleep." Myka said pulling Helena away from the machine
"No, Myka I can't."
"You look exhausted."
"Why, thank you so much." HG said sarcastically
"I'm not going to apologise Helena, you look, well, knackered, as you'd say." That got a little chuckle out of HG, "now, come on."
Myka took the piece of metal that HG had been clinging to, and replaced it with her own hand. She led HG back up the stairs and into Myka's room. They sat side by side on the edge of Myka's bed.
"You can sleep here tonight." Myka said quietly, so as not to startle HG
"Myka, you don't need to-"
"No excuses. You need to sleep."
"Will you stay?" HG asked grasping at Myka's fingers for some stability as she felt her thoughts start to swirl around her head.
"Oh, Helena, why do you think I brought you up here instead of taking you to your own room? I'll stay awake all night if I have to. And you will still be here in the morning."
HG nodded slowly and Myka helped her under the covers. They lay next to each other, both staring at the ceiling. Myka wanted to hug her, or at least hold HGs hand but she stopped herself. The more comfortable HG was, the more likely it was that she'd actually get some sleep and that was the most important thing right now. Myka was caught up in her thoughts when she felt HGs fingers brush her own. Myka's hand closed around them of their own volition. HG sighed and Myka saw out of the corner of her eye that HG had relaxed a little more.
Myka turned on her side to look at HG
"Helena, close your eyes." HG turned to face Myka, and Myka could see the fear in her eyes.
It scared Myka a little; she had never seen HG fearful of anything or anyone. Sad perhaps, but never scared.
"Close them," Myka said as she tightened her grip on HG's hand, "I promise, I won't leave."
HG closed her eyes for a second and opened them again straight away, she looked at Myka one more time, just to make sure that she was still there and closed them again.
It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, and after HG had been asleep for a while, Myka let herself drift off as well.