My first ever shounen ai fic, with my first ever favorite shounen ai couple, Hiei/Kurama! Go easy on me, and enjoy! Oh, also, this fic is set somewhere between the ending of the Dark Tournament and the Black Saga.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakasho, and probably never will…((Cries)) This fanfic is shounen ai, meaning male/male pairing! Don't read if you don't like!

'This is thinking.'

"This is talking."

Chapter 1
The Truth Hurts

Against the glowing orb that was the moon, a silhouette stood. But as quickly as he had come, he was gone. Hiei jumped from roof top to roof top, making his way towards the city's park. He had never had a true home of his own, so he took residence in whatever tree that happened to suit his few needs; a place to think, and to sleep.

He leaned back against the trunk of one of his favorite resting spots, a cherry tree. He sighed and breathed in its heavenly scent. The scent that reminded him so much of his best friend.

Kurama. 'Hn. That stupid fox…' The Ankoko Bujutsukai was finally over. They had finally beaten Toguro. After they had won, Koenma gave them all a well deserved vacation. Before Hiei had left, Kurama stopped him with a question.

He had asked if he would like to come live with him for a while, at his house. They had both fought hard battles, and they were both still very weak. Staying with Kurama would have been the safe thing to do, rather than trying to survive, alone, in the Makai.

He had hastily declined his offer, and left to sort out thoughts that had been haunting his mind since the tournament had begun. Hiei was starting to feel emotions that he had never known before, and they were confusing him.

Every time he and his team had to go up against another, he felt odd. When he saw Kurama fighting, time seemed to stand still. The roar of the disgruntled crowd was drowned out, and all he could hear was the pounding of his nervous heart. Kurama had risked his life so many times in those few days. The thought that he had almost loss his fox had taken a toll on his feelings. 'Wait a minute...my fox? Where did THAT come from? Why do I keep acting like that dumb kitsune is mine? Why do I even care what happens to him?'

During Kurama's fight with Karasu, Hiei had been most afraid. Youko Kurama, the infamous Makai thief, who never showed fear, had been afraid that day. Even though he could mask his emotions well, Hiei could see the look of fear in his emerald eyes. That had scared him. Kurama knew he couldn't beat Karasu. He had barely escaped with his life during that fight. As soon as Karasu was on the ground, dead, relief swept over him. Kurama was alive. His fox was safe.

'There I go again with the 'my fox' thing again. What's wrong with me!' Hiei thought irritably as he pushed a lock of his ebony hair out of his face. 'Why do I care about him so much? Why does he have this hold on me, that I cannot control? Why can't I stop thinking about him!' Hiei sighed, and looked out at the moon again. Even though the sky was dark, he could still see rain clouds forming, hiding the only light he had.

Hiei sighed, and hugged his legs up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees. 'Is...is it possible that I am in love with him? Can these unknown emotions be that feeling that Ningens call love?No…that's impossible! Love is just some stupid human weakness….and I will not be a part of it!

'But is that what it is? Is love the reason why I feel so nervous around him? Why it feels like I have butterflies in my stomach when I hear his voice? Why I'm still in the Ningenkai, so I can be near him? No….that cannot be it. For years I have hidden my feeling behind a barrier caused by all the hate, fear and rejection I have felt my whole life.'

Hiei smirked slightly. Its amazing how one person can knock down the wall that has hidden me for so many years. Hiei hated to admit it, but he was becoming more like a human every time he was here. When he accompanied Yusuke and the others when they 'hung out' together. He had even started to like some of their foods. Especially sweet snow. Yes, he was very fond of that cold, sugary treat. And it was all Kurama's doing. He was the one who had convinced him to join them all those summer afternoons… And he was the first friend he had ever known. The first one to ever care whether he was around or not. The first one to show him what it was like to have fun…The first one to steal his heart away……..

He could deny it no longer. It was true. He was in love with Kurama. He had fallen fast and hard for that clever fox. Hiei smiled; it felt good to finally admit it. Now, the only question was if he should tell him. Hiei sat up straight, eyes wide and scared.

'Kurama...should I tell him? How would I tell him?...what if he doesn't love me back?' Hiei's stomach lurched at that thought. Even thinking about that made him depressed. 'I don't think I can stand to have my heart broken one more time…..it would kill me….' he sighed, and shook his head exasperated. What should he do? What is that phrase Yusuke was always saying? "You can only live life once, so enjoy it while you can". 'Hn. Who ever thought I be quoting Yusuke at a time like this?'

'….I'm gonna tell him!' He finally decided. 'Who knows? He might feel the same way!'

Hiei jumped down from the branch, and gracefully landed on the ground. He felt something wet drop fall onto his head. He looked up and saw that it was drizzling. Oh well, a little rain never hurt any one. He flitted off, moving quicker than the eye could see, jumping from tree to tree, making his way to his first loves house.

The rain was starting to come down harder, soaking him to the bone. When he reached Kurama's house he sat in his tree, and looked into the window. Kurama sat at his desk, probably doing home work. Hiei smiled, just the sight of him made him feel warmer.

'Kurama is so beautiful….' He thought. He loved they way his crimson hair fell out around him, and how it swayed in the breeze. He loved how his flawless skin showed the true beauty of his face, how he seemed to light up even the darkest room. And how his emerald eyes sparkled in the light, and made you melt inside. As Hiei gazed at Kurama, something occurred to him; how could some one as perfect as Kurama love some one like him? He wasn't exactly the most lovable person. He was normally cold, and rarely talked. And when he did it was usually a snide remark or an insult.

He wasn't very social, and he had murdered many, human and demon alike. His hands and been soaked with the blood of innocent people. And he had been scared forever with the horrible deeds he had done through out his short life. How could someone love him? He had been called many things through out the years. A monster. A heartless killer. An emotionless loner who cared for nothing and no one. How could anyone possibly love him?

Hiei clenched his teeth, and let out an angry growl. What was he doing here? This was a waste of time! Even thinking that Kurama might consider him as more than a friend was stupid! He cursed him self. For his ignorance. For his stupidity. For falling in love in the first place. Hiei looked into the window again, looking for the cause for all the pain he was feeling. Kurama had stopped working on his home work, and had climbed into his bed, reading a book.

Hiei stared at him, his ruby eyes ablaze with love, sorrow, and hatred. Kurama couldn't love him. Kurama would never even think of loving him. To him, he was nothing. The truth hurt. It felt like someone had stabbed him in the chest with his own sword. Hiei wrapped his sopping wet cape around him, and jumped off into the night, the rain masking his tears.