And it starts
sometime around midnight,
Or at least that's when you lose yourself
for a minute or two.
Shane sighed as she looked around the club, a cold beer in her hand. Jenny was around somewhere, along with Alice. It was close to midnight, but she wasn't sure exactly what time. It didn't matter, not really. All that mattered was being alone for a few minutes. It was strange, but the only time Shane felt truly lonely was when she was surrounded by people.
As you stand
under the bar lights,
And the band plays some song
about forgetting yourself for a while.
There was a band onstage, a good band, but not one Shane had heard of before. She didn't think she'd look them up, their lyrics hit too close to home. It seemed to Shane that all she did was try to forget herself. Her mistakes were too fresh in her mind to forget them for long, but on nights like this she could push them aside.
And the piano's this melancholy soundtrack
to her smile
And that white dress she's wearing
you haven't seen her for a while.
Shane turned around, and the crowd seemed to part to reveal a woman standing by the bar. She couldn't believe her eyes. Carmen was standing in front of her, wearing a white dress that fit her perfectly, accentuating all of her curves. Shane shook her head, it was impossible. Carmen hadn't set foot in the club since the break-up, but there she was, after all that time, and it was like nothing had changed. Carmen glanced over, her eyes narrowing slightly before she turned back to the woman she was with.
But you know
that she's watching.
She's laughing, she's turning,
She's holding her tonic like a cross.
Shane knew better than to walk up to Carmen. She wasn't stupid or suicidal. If Carmen wanted to talk to her, she would come over. If she didn't, the worst thing Shane could do was go over there. She'd screwed up with Carmen, and now she'd have to wait and see what Carmen would do. Shane watched unabashedly as Carmen danced with the mystery woman, laughing and smiling, but her eyes constantly came back to meet Shane's.
The room's suddenly spinning.
She walks up and asks how you are.
So you can smell her perfume,
You can see her lying naked in your arms.
"Hello, Shane," Carmen says, a confident look on her face. Shane could tell that Carmen was one hundred percent aware of the effect she was having on Shane, who was still in awe of the woman standing before her. The subtle perfume she was wearing was the same she used to wear, and all Shane could think of was holding Carmen as they slept. Shane managed a smile, a careful greeting, and a noncommittal reply about how she was. Carmen smiled back, told Shane she was the happiest she'd ever been, and watched the pain flicker in Shane's eyes. With an air of satisfaction, Carmen walked back to her mystery woman.
And so there's a change
in your emotions.
And all these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind.
Of the curl of your bodies,
like two perfect circles entwined.
And you feel hopeless and homeless
and lost in the haze of the wine.
Shane couldn't believe how much seeing Carmen again affected her. She stood motionlessly, memories rushing through her mind. The times they had laughed together, the way Carmen's family had loved her like their own, all the times Shane had woken up with Carmen in her arms. She had loved Carmen, like no one she had known before or since. Their relationship had been one that couldn't be replicated or imitated. Carmen had known Shane in a way that perhaps no one else ever could.
Then she leaves
with someone you don't know,
But she makes sure you saw her;
She looks right at you and bolts.
As she walks out the door,
your blood boiling, your stomach in ropes.
Oh and when your friends say,
"What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Carmen looked at Shane one last time with a sad smile before taking her girl's arm and heading for the door. Shane's heart was racing, her head was pounding, and everything inside of her screamed for her to follow Carmen. But she had had her chance with her, and she knew it wasn't her place to beg her to stay. Alice wandered back and gave her a strange look. "What the fuck is the matter with you? You look like you've seen a ghost or something." Shane mumbled a response, something to the effect of 'maybe I have' before chugging the rest of her beer.
Then you walk
under the streetlights,
And you're too drunk to notice
that everyone is staring at you.
You just don't care what you look like,
the world is falling around you.
Two beers and four shots later, Shane stumbled out of the door. She knew she was drunk, but she just didn't care. The world spun beneath her, and she hit the ground hard. Shane ignored the people who tried to help her up and slowly got to her feet. She didn't notice the stunned look on Alice's face, or the way Jenny was babbling about Shane's strange behavior. She just looked around desperately for what she knew she wouldn't find. Carmen was gone.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You know that she'll break you in two.
Shane wasn't okay, and she wouldn't be okay until she saw Carmen. She wanted to apologize, beg for forgiveness, make things right. She knew that Carmen would break her again. But she just had to see her.