Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing makes us feel alive
-Photograph by Ed Sheeran
Part 1
The pain is excruciating and Tyler can feel every bone in his body shifting, Bill Forbes' eyes intent on every movement.
This has been a daily thing for nearly two weeks: bathe, eat, drink, sleep, think about Caroline, be kicked around by Bill so he becomes angry enough to morph into wolf form.
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The first thing he notices when he wakes up is the distinct absence of Caroline. The second is the brown-haired little girl sitting adjacent to him on the extremely long sofa.
She narrows her eyes, before opening her mouth widely and shouting "daddy, he's awake!"
A man, who Tyler assumes is Bill's boyfriend, appears in the doorway, and shakes his head disapprovingly.
"Lily, get away from him." His voice is urgent and stern.
The child pouts and looks him over before hurrying over to her father.
"Bill will be with you soon." With that, the conversation is over and Tyler is left alone with a horrible headache made worse by the screaming girl.
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"Caroline, you really need to leave the house." Bonnie's voice is gentle and soothing but obviously worried.
"I hate him, Bonnie," she whispers, knees hugged to her chest. "He took everything from me."
His name isn't said, but they both know she means Klaus.
Bonnie's mouth pulls down into a frown and prettily red painted nails skim her arm. "Care, that's normal considering..."
"Bon, you don't understand! I want him dead! I've never felt that before...not even when Damon..."
The room falls silent at the mention of what Damon had done the previous year.
"I've never wanted anyone dead before...and it scares me."
Her vision is blurry and she tries desperately to blink the tears away, but it only causes them to fall. Her friend wordlessly pulls her into a hug, and her tears turn into sobs.
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"Change? Again? Already?"
After two weeks, he should know the answer, but Tyler can't bring himself to breathe, afraid of what the answer will be. He wants to get back to Caroline, so bad, but transitioning is nearly unbearable. The anger that it takes to trigger it is consuming and makes his skin feel like it's going to catch fire.
Bill's eyes, blue and the only feature Caroline shares with her father, bring Tyler comfort, as they soften.
"Yes, Tyler, again. The more we do this, the sooner the sire bond is broken, kid."
And he does feel like a kid, a small one. He wants nothing more than to be curled in a ball in his childhood room, playing football with Matt, making out with Caroline.
"Do you really think this gonna work?" His voice is more broken than he will ever admit to.
The blue eyes harden. "Tyler, come on. If you want to get back to my daughter, you'll meet me out in the car in ten minutes."
And he meets Bill at the car, of course he does, because Caroline is everything.
Tyler is about to open the passenger-door when the older man's voice stops him. He meets the blue-eyed stare over the vehicle.
Bill's shoulders are straight and head high. "You won't be able to change here anymore." His voice is monotone, fingers stiff on the door handle.
The teenager is seized with panic for a moment, he can feel it boiling in his veins and the beast rumbles beneath his skin.
"Don't make me regret this, Tyler." And the panic subsides, but a sense of guilt replaces it because he has a feeling Bill isn't simply leaving a house and some old shed behind and taking a short vacation, something about this feels permanent.
Wherever they're heading is taking him closer to Caroline and Bill further away from his husband and step-daughter. He owes the older man.
There is something comforting and normal about the sounds of slamming doors and clicking seat-belts. It calms Tyler's anxiety and rushing thoughts. He almost wants to strike up a normal conversation about Caroline, ask about her childhood.
They stop at the old shed they've been using for the past two weeks.
"I thought..." Bill doesn't let him finish.
"Tonight is the last night here. You need to change at least once a day, and we can't afford skipping, even one day. "
"How much longer is this gonna take?" He hates the pain, hates being without Caroline.
The older man shrugs, tugging at chains and loading his gun with silver bullets he has 'just in case'.
"Could be weeks, months, years."
"I want to increase it to twice a day."
Bill's eyes widen and snap up to Tyler. "Not yet."
He opens his mouth to argue, but the other man stops him.
"Tyler, trust me. Not yet. I know you want to get back to Caroline, but pushing yourself too much, too soon isn't going to accomplish anything." His voice is stern, fatherly, and Tyler nods.
He feels vulnerable and alone when it starts and Caroline is, once again, not there.
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When Klaus asks her on a date, Caroline is afraid to say no. He seems harmless enough, with dimples and blue eyes, but she remembers, clearly, Tyler's hunched body as he struggled and seized through becoming a hybrid. She remembers Klaus making Tyler bite her, her boyfriend's shocked, guilty brown eyes as he realized what he had done.
The same eyes that had been full of adoration and pride moments before as he declared his love.
"What do you say, love?" His voice is like silk, but covered with tar and feels like sandpaper when it reaches her ears.
"Sure."
She hates feeling helpless, not in control. And that's exactly how she feels now. And afraid. She is so afraid, not for herself, but for Tyler.