Callista heaved an exhausted sigh while closing the antiquated leather bound book. The words on the weathered pages became too blurred to continue, her studious limit completely depleted. Her fingers absently traced the engraved lines that detailed the bark of a tree with its branches littered with leaves that stretched across the width of the worn hide. The journal held a special place within her heart and now held obtained information to achieve her pursued dream. For seventeen years, she left it untouched on her night stand, tracing it every night before she slipped into unconsciousness dreaming of people she could never see again and places that she had never been.
"You know, it's not as bad as you think," Raven drawled out lazily as she turned a page from her own notebook, briefly glancing up to check if Callista heard her. Callista threw Raven a look of bewilderment with her hands nervously tangled into the mess of her auburn curls, her fingers tugging the coiled strands of hair straight. Just the thought of Callista revealing to her father that she wanted a different life than what he envisioned caused her to stress even more. It was apparent that Callista hadn't believed her friends comforting words. "If anything," Raven continued, "He'll be proud you pass. Just think, we'll both be the youngest zero gravity mechanic's the Ark has seen in fifty-two years." She emphasized each word to boost Callista's confidence.
"I know it is," Callista spoke softly, her voice barely audible as she doubted herself. Callista excelled to an advanced level with Raven in their Mecha classes; she possessed the ability to strive towards the Zero-G program. Callista harbored her passion for the Mecha station from her father. "You've wanted this more than I have." Callista admitted, blowing out a sigh of frustration. Raven's eyebrows furrowed together as she disagreed with Callista's statement. Hours of dedication were spent pouring every bit of information scoured from all the books they could retrieve in relations to the Ark's working mechanisms. Raven eyed the leather bound journal lying in her friend's lap, knowing that this exam was important to both of them.
"You know that lying to yourself that you don't want this just as bad as Raven does, isn't going to change the amount of regret and resentment you'll feel later when you continue to do whatever your father tells you to do." Finn voiced from the doorframe of Callista's quarters. "You want a choice. It's your life, so you should have the right to decide how to spend it on this metal piece of junk."
"Besides, in the Mecha station, you're keeping the whole Ark alive, allowing all the stations and twelve nations to continuously keep working in order to stay in orbit and help the whole colony population thrive and survive. Now, that's something to take pride in," Raven declared, tilting her head slightly towards Callista. Callista chuckled, knowing Raven offered a valid point. Callista would rather be productive as a zero gravity mechanic than arresting citizens for a punishment that didn't deserve the cost of their life.
Callista tilted her head back letting an overdue laugh slip from her lips as she shook her head back and forth. "Fine," she caved with a wide grin, her mood lifted in an instant, "You guys are right. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Callista threw her hands up, her stressful anxiousness eased. She was terrified of standing up to her father but she craved to follow her purpose; to prove that was where she belonged as her own choice.
"Well, yeah, and the fact that I know you two are fully capable of passing that exam. You guys seriously use any free second of the day with your noses buried in these books!" He exaggerated dramatically, using a playful frown but there was an emotion of understanding in his eyes. He was lightening up the mood with a joke.
Callista shot a grin as she clutched her journal close to her heart. Pride beamed from her smile from everything that was accomplished. She glanced over at Raven whom remained stretched across the length of Callista's bed as she absorbed the words from the page of the book while pausing to transfer a few sentences into her notebook; continuously repeating the process every few minutes. "That's the price to pay for emerging as the two youngest Zero-G mechanics the Ark will have seen in fifty-two years, right Ray?" Callista teased earning a dismissive wave from Raven's hand as she trained her focus solely on studying the book opened in front of her sprawled out body.
"How hasn't your father even noticed that you haven't bothered training for the retake of the endurance test?" Finn asked in all seriousness, wiping away the carefree mood in an instant. He shifted away from the door frame and joined the two on the small twin sized mattress, climbing over Raven before settling into the unoccupied corner of Callista's bed. "I just don't understand how he's convinced the Guard is where you belong when Sinclair talks about the two of you like you were created from a wrench monkey's womb."
Callista sat back against the wall she was propped against, her shoulders slumped in defeat. "He's been too busy lately with the Council. Things have changed a lot," She spoke carefully, her fingers picking at her callouses within the creases of her palms. Her face held a troubled expression, unmistakably withholding information that she chose not to elaborate on.
Callista's father changed drastically overtime. Every decision made and voted on through the Council created more lines that stressed the texture of his skin, making his appearance older than he really was. Callista would study her father from a distance, noting that he wasn't the same person that guided her as she grew up. He once had soft brown eyes but all she could see now were black empty orbs containing a coldness that chilled her to the bone. There was an emotion of remorse occasionally after the hard times; he was only human. Her father wasn't the only one that changed; there was a domino effect through the whole colony. The guard became more strict and ruthless with arrests, using more fear tactics. The Council was floating people for barely even stepping a toe out of line. This angered Callista. It caused tension and more arguments with her father on multiple occasions. She would explain that she wanted no part in damning a person's life to deprivation of oxygen based on mistakes, like protecting another being of whom they cared for; something that anybody would do if they were faced in such a situation. Why did saving a life, have to cost a payment of more lives? There were countless of juveniles being locked away over the silliest of reasons, and even though their case would become reviewed at the age of eighteen, they'd end up floating because any form of disobedient behavior against the Council's regulations was met with death.
"I rarely even see him daily, so that's how I get away with exclusively studying for the Zero-G exam. He doesn't really have time to pay attention to me." Callista muttered her forehead wrinkled as turmoil of emotions of sadness overcame her. "I think he just wants me to have a privileged, obedient, and well-respected life within the government," she whispered hoarsely. Callista pushed the unwarranted anxiousness away from plaguing her mind.
"Would you want us to be present when you break the ice?" Finn offered thoughtfully as assisted Raven in collecting her precious books, stacking them into a neat pile at the edge of Callista's nightstand. He helped Raven off of the bed before grabbing the stack. They paused at the door, glancing at Callista.
Callista shook her head indicating her immediate response, "No I think this is something I need to do on my own, but thanks," she politely declined. She stood to her feet, stretching the kinks that formed being cramped by the multiple books that littered the overcrowded space on her mattress.
It wasn't too long after Raven and Finn departed the small room when she began to tidy the mess her quarters had become. Her own mechanic books cluttered her bed; some books even found themselves partially open to the sheet of metal that was a part of the floor. Callista quickly gathered them in her arms, stacking them off to the side of the loose panel, carefully removing it with ease before wedging the books securely in their rightful hiding places. The truth was, she was lying to her father. He constantly asked about her retake exam, especially since time was dwindling as her eighteenth birthday approached fast, demanding an official statement of where she would earn her keep with proof of test scores that she possessed that capability for the required work.
Her eyes scanned the room ensuring that all the books were concealed. She purposely left out her journal of handwritten barely legible notes, reminding herself that the exam was literally days away. She could afford a couple of nights of reading the journal without being discovered. She chewed on her lips nervously, contemplating the risk of being caught. There were slim chances he wouldn't even ask, let alone read it; even if her father attempted reading it, he would have a hell of a time making out the words scribbled hastily onto the page. She secured the floor panel, standing up while brushing her hands against her jeans before grabbing the precious journal, cradling it carefully as she brushed her fingers against the texture engravings once more.
"Callista!" her father's voice exclaimed, "I've got some great news."
Callista froze, her eyes shifting to the journal she held in her hands. The slim chances were a bigger risk than what she anticipated. Her grip tightened on the journal before hanging her arm loosely to her side. She planned to divert his attention from her journal as long as she could possibly manage. Callista turned around and greeted her father with a partial hug.
There was no doubt in her mind that she needed to study more. This is what she deserved for procrastinating the scheduling of her exam that determined her fate. She knew that in order to achieve and pass the exam, which she would have to dedicate precious time to absorb the material. Her time was limited though, her father would eventually try to use a few favors of his privileged life to force me towards the guard.
"...Callista, did you hear me?" he repeated as she tilted her head in confusion, shaking it slightly while crossing her arms cautiously over her chest, concealing the journal from his questioning curious eyes. He continuously glanced at the book as he spoke words that were unheard. His eyebrows rutted together as if he wanted to ask but hadn't had the right moment to direct the focus of attention towards the book she clutched against her chest protectively.
"Sorry Dad, stress of the exams are getting to me, what did you say?" She spoke apologetically, hoping he wouldn't get upset. The worst case scenario, she would end up explaining to him her desired dream if he dared to ask.
"Callista, you're doing it again," he spoke sharply, agitation evident in his voice at the lack of Callista's focus. "How do you expect to become a part of the Guard if you're inattentive? It's no wonder you can't pass your endurance entrance exam," he chastised in a condescending tone.
This was the perfect opportunity to confess. Callista's father had no idea that she intentionally failed her physical exam a few back, trying to buy herself more time. She knew he was determined to have his daughter accepted into the Go-Sci station, to set an example to the rest of the colony of her well-behaved and obedient manners. He was too busy with Council meetings to arrange something that would work in his favor to help his child.
"I'm not lacking focus Dad," Callista defended meekly, completely opting out of her declaration for the passion she harbored inside for mechanics and engineering. "I've just been really focused on training so that's all I can think about right now in order to pass," She faked enthusiasm with convincing smile.
She hated how she would rather make her father proud and happy rather than herself.
He chuckled. "Well, if you would listen to me, you'd hear that I was able to work out a couple of favors for you!" He grinned widely. His hazel eyes danced with prideful excitement as dread quickly consumed Callista. Her extra bought time came to its expiration. She was convinced that she had at least another week to work with and planned informing her father after she passed. "Somebody will be come to your quarters the next couple of days to help you pass your endurance test and I was able to schedule you for the entrance exam in a few days."
"A few days?" She repeated slowly as her grip tightening more on her journal. There was no way she would be able dedicate time to study if he found somebody to specially train her. She gnawed at her bottom lip as she considered against telling him after the exam; she needed to do it now.
"Your exam is on Friday," he continued to speak, his words barely registering in Callista's mind as she anticipated her options.
Callista felt absolutely defeated. There would be no time to study, and even if she managed to find the time, the chance of taking her zero gravity exam; dissipated completely. The Mecha station is a brilliant group of people, outstanding at performing their jobs. It was going to be absolutely dangerous, making those repairs on the outside, but it was going to be worth standing up for everything Callista wanted. All she had to do was open her mouth.
''I can tell you're stressed Callista, but everything will go smoothly," Her father reassured her while patting her shoulder after standing to his feet to make his departure his daughter's quarters.
Callista shook her head furiously. "No," she muttered, stepping away from him as if he burned her with his words. "It's not going to go smoothly -" He cut her protests off with a wave of his hand, giving her a confident smile filled with such belief that she held all the capability in the whole colony of passing the endurance exam. "That's because you weren't prepared, that's all Callista," he repeated, pulling her into a tight hug. She wanted to believe his words, but she wanted those words to be towards her own dreams; not his own agenda.
"Dad, I need to tell you something," She whispered, her voice barely audible to her own ears as she pulled away from him, shaking her head again. She knew she would regret never taking a stand for herself. Finn was right. She would resent her father for forcing her into a lifestyle she never wanted. Within time, she would probably end up hating Raven's own achievement. It was her choice. "I was going to wait because I wasn't sure if you'd be-"
"Kane, Sir," a young cadet interrupted bursting through her door as he corrected himself before continuing, "You're needed for a vote," the desperate tone of his voice was gravely stricken and Callista grimaced. She understood the weight of the words that the cadet spoken. Somebody was about to become floated. She fought back the repulsive feeling as she studied my father's face. This was the second time this month another floating was voted on.
"We'll talk about this in a bit," Marcus muttered worriedly before following the cadet away from Callista's room.
Callista fell back onto the mattress from the overwhelming emotions and the mental exhaustion. She had been seconds away from telling her father. Her fingers opened the pages of her journal, the over complicated words of mechanics strengthening her resolve. "Tomorrow," she declared quietly, determined to not to miss her chance.