What Goes Through The Mind Of Sirius Black?

by werewolfbitesudie

What DOES go through the mind of Sirius Black? a two shot story.

1. Chapter 1

What goes through the mind of Sirius Black

Warning! This involves serious random events, if you don't like random don't read on…And I do not own Harry Potter, do I look like J.K.?

Stage 1…Forgetfulness

"Now Pad for this prank to work, you need to yell and run in that direction," James pointed down the corridor, "Okay."

So yell and run in that direction right got that, "When do I do that?"

"When I sneeze loudly," Remus answered.

So Moony will sneeze and then I'll run and yell in that direction. "Got it!"

"Are you sure Pad? You ruined it last time because you forgot what to do," asked James.

"Yeah, yeah I got it."

"Places people," James yelled moving down the other end of the corridor.

So I stand here until Moony sneezes, then I run up the corridor yelling.

Remus suddenly sneezed.

Oh right that's my queue, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Very good Pad, only problem was that was a real sneeze," James yelled from the other end of the corridor.

"Least we know he won't forget this time," retorted Remus.

Great now I have to walk all the way back over there, stupid Moony.

Seconds passed…

If it wasn't for him I…um…what exactly did he do again?

Remus sneezed as classes started to file out of the classrooms.

I still can't remember, I wish Remus would stop sneezing…wait sneezing? "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Sirius it would have worked two seconds ago when there were people here, now the corridor is completely empty!" James blasphemed.

"Um…oops?"

Stage 2…Laziness

So hungry, great hall so far away.

"Hey Sirius," James exclaimed, "Look what I snatched from the kitchens." James placed a bag full of food on the table.

Mmm…but table so far away from chair. "Can you pass me a custard tart Prongs?"

"No I can not," said James affronted.

Friggen idiot can't he just pass me one? "You pain me Prongs!"

"What sort of a pain? A nuisance, grief or ache?" James enquired.

Just pass me some food! "All of the above can you just…"

"No," said James simply.

Maybe if I reach for one, then I won't have to get of the chair. So lift up arm and stretch, only centimeters away from it now. Just a bit further, oh no…no! I'm going to fall head into the ground, no, nearly there!

BANG! "OUCH!"

James cracked up as Sirius fell head first onto the ground.

OW, now I have to sit up, or I could stay here, it is quite comfy on the floor.

"Sirius, get up," James mocked.

"Can't sleeping."

"You can't sleep there, I thought you were-"

Snore, snore, snore.

Stage 3…Annoyingness

I'm bored, maybe I should sing a song? Yeah I'll sing…beautiful by Christina Aguilera.

"I am beautiful, no matter what they say, words can't bring me down,

I am beautiful in every single way, yes words can't bring me down, ohh no, so don't you bring me down today-"

"Pad! Shhhh!" James yelled annoyed.

Oh, I guess he doesn't like that song, my I should sing something more James like. Um…ha got one. Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day.

"I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever know,

don't know where it goes, but its home me and I walk alone,

I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams,

where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk alone,

I walk alone, I walk alone-"

"Sirius!" James warned, gazing into the fire obviously forgotten the answer to their homework.

Doesn't seem to like that one either, maybe he like the older type of songs. I can sing Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne.

"He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious,

he was a punk, she did ballet, what more can I say,

he wanted her, she'd never tell, secretly she wanted him as well,

all of her friends, stuck up their nose, they had a problem with his baggy clothes,

he was a skater boy, she said see you later boy, he wasn't good enough for her,

she had a pretty face, but her head was up in space, she needed to come back down to earth,

five years from now, she sits at home, feeding the baby she's all alone-"

"If you sing one more," James threatened, scribbling out yet another line.

"Leave him alone Prongs, he's doing something creative," assured Remus.

"The only thing creative he's doing is annoying the hell out of me!" James growled.

Maybe I should sing him a good feeling song, to make him feel better, like…Wayward Angel by Kasey Chambers.

"Well I am a wayward angel,

I don't suffer I don't cry

And late in the night you're sleeping

I come to hover by your side

So close your weary weathered eyes

These tears are just a faint disguise

Cause I am a wayward angel

I don't suffer I don't cry

Cold in the heart of winter

Make you shiver make you blue

I'll stay close by your window

Give you blankets to hold on to

So you sleep my baby for a while

You'll wake with the light of a mothers smile

Cause I am wayward-"

"You'd be an angel if you shut up!" snarled James, he picked up a book and started to read it.

Fine guess Prongs doesn't like angels, maybe he likes Shut Up by Simple Plan?

There you go, you're always so right,

It's all a big show, it's all about you,

You think you know, what everyone needs,

You always take time to criticize me,

It seems like everyday I make mistakes,

I just can't get it right,

it's like I'm the one you love to hate, but not today

so shut up, shut up, shut up,

don't wanna hear it-"

"Good idea Pad, Shut up! I DON'T want to hear it!" roared James snapping the book shut.

Remus ignored the two and just kept reading in silence.

Fine that's it, he won't let me sing so I'll sing something annoying, I'll sing So Yesterday by Hilary Duff, now that's got to be annoying!

You can change your life- if you wanna

you can change your clothes- if you wanna

if you change your mind

well that's the way it goes

but I'm gonna keep your jeans

and your old black hat- cause I wanna

they look good on me

you're never gonna get them back

at least not today, not today, not today

if it's over, let it go and

come tomorrow it will seem

so yesterday, so yesterday

I'm just a bird that's already flown away

laugh it off, let it go and

when you wake up it will seem

so yesterday, so yesterday

haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay-"

"THAT IS IT! SIRIUS SHUT THE HELL UP! NEXT TIME I'M GOING TO DO IT BEFORE THE DAY IT'S DUE!" roared James.

"So you should," said Remus smiling slightly.

Good, my work here is done!

Stage 4…Randomness

"Now children, today we-"

Boring can't we have a better charms teacher? Maybe I should make things interesting.

"Frog."

"What?" James whispered.

"Frog."

"Bog?" James asked confused.

And I thought I was thick!

"Frog."

"Jog?'

"Frog."

"Hog?"

"I SAID FROG!"

"Mr. Black, I rather you not interrupt my class with uncalled for comments," said the professor annoyed.

"Yes professor."

Stupid boring teacher. Maybe if I assemble my wand here I can-

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Mr. Black!" shrieked the professor.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeees?"

"Firstly turn Miss Evans hair back to its normal color, I don't think she appreciates it being blue. Then I want you out side until you decide to not interrupt my class again," ordered the professor.

Hmm…now's my time to shine.

"Oh no, I fink I did a wee, wee, all well, Lassie will lick it up. Yep good boy lassie!"

"Good one Pad!" James laughed.

Remus scowled absolutely disgusted, and Peter sat there not even knowing what was going on.

"Mr. Potter quiet, Mr. Black, heads office now," ordered the teacher.

Play nicely, now bow.

"Yes our majesty, I like bananas."

"Hey Pad, go up to the heads office, and explain your banana issue there," said James still laughing.

"Yeah, good-bye my fair ladies and sirs, though I shall be back!"

Now to go up to the heads office to go tell Dumbledore about my fork issues, or was it…oh crap!